Seven for a Secret (28 page)

“What is he doing there?”

“He’s with someone called Karla. Polynesian, I think. He mentions her now and then. I can’t think why he left Egypt. I suppose there is some reason but he hasn’t told me.”

“I think it is wonderful that you have kept in touch all these years.”

“We were great friends. Still are, and I suppose always will be,” she replied.

Crispin and I were together almost every day. He took me round the estate and we were greeted with congratulations. everywhere we went.

He was anxious for me to learn more about it. My spell in the office had taught me a good deal and I was already quite knowledgeable. It was his life and he was eager for me to share it. And 1 fervently:

wanted to.

We were very happy during those days. Crispin had changed subtly. I was discovering new facets in his characj ter and they delighted me.

He had a great capacity for? enjoyment which had previously been

suppressed, Life seemed now to be full of amusement; we were constantly laughing and it was the laughter of happiness.

I thought: Everything will be all right now.

We called at Grindle’s Farm. Rachel was delighted to see us and Danielle was produced to be admired. I had a few moments alone with Rachel and she told me how happy she was for me.

“And you are not worried any more?” I asked.

“Only occasionally it comes back. I suppose that is inevitable. I wish they could find out who killed Gaston and settle it once and for all.

I don’t think we shall be entirely at ease until they do. The police don’t seem to be so interested any more. “

“I expect they will call it one of those unsolved crimes. There are many of them, I am sure.”

“Yes. They just fade out of people’s memories in spite of the fact that they were so interested in them at the time. That’s how it will be. But how I wish it could all be settled.”

“So do we all.”

Crispin and I rode off together.

They were such happy days until I noticed the change in him. I knew him so well now and it was hard for him to deceive me. I fancied there was a false note in his laughter and I caught an anxious expression in his eyes now and then. He was preoccupied with some problem, though making an effort to pretend all was well.

“Is anything wrong?” I asked.

“No. Nothing. What should be?”

How I wished he would tell me everything! That vague uneasy feeling was back with me. I thought it had gone for ever.

1 wanted to say: There must be complete trust between us. Tell me what it is that is bothering you. Let us share it.

There were times when he cast off this anxiety. Then I asked myself if I had imagined it.

It was some days later when he said he had to go to Salisbury on business and would be away for the day. I wished that I could go with him but he said he would be engaged with various people during the day and I should be left alone.

“It’s only for a day,” he added.

But when we said goodbye that evening he held me tightly to him as though he were very reluctant to let me go.

“I shall see you the day after tomorrow,” I said.

“Yes,” he said, still holding me tightly.

“You don’t seem to want to let me go,” I said lightly. He replied fervently: “I shall never let you go.”

That morning Aunt Sophie said to me: “I am going into Devizes this afternoon. Why don’t you come with me?”

“I think I ought to go and look in at the office,” I replied. She nodded.

“Oh well, never mind. I shall take the trap. There are one or two things I want to get. I’ll be back before evening.”

I went to the office. James Perrin was there. He had changed towards me since my engagement to Crispin had been announced. He was quieter, more reserved. I knew that in his rather sober way he had contemplated marrying me. I should never have done so even if there had not been Crispin, but I liked him very much all the same.

He talked about the tenants and how concerned he was’ about the north-facing walls of some of the cottages. :

“I think they will have to be carefully looked at,” he said. He was going to do this now and I was glad that he did not suggest I accompany him.

1 asked him about the place he was considering renting.

“I’m giving that one a miss,” he told me.

“There’ll be something else when the time comes. As a matter of fact, someone has already taken the place 1 was thinking of.”

1 was glad when it was time to go home. 1 realized afresh how empty the days were without Crispin.

When I arrived home Aunt Sophie was not back. Well, she had said before evening. I supposed something had delayed her.

It was nearly seven o’clock when she returned and 1 was beginning to get anxious about her. She looked tired and rather strained.

“Are you all right?” I asked anxiously.

“I’m exhausted. It’s a long journey. I’m going straight to my room.”

“Shall I get Lily to bring something up?”

“No. I don’t really want anything to eat. I had something in Devizes. Really, I’m worn out.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing … nothing. I’ll tell you about it some time.

Just now I want my bed more than anything. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing. “

“Can I do anything?”

“No … no.

I’ll be better in bed. “

“You’re sure Lily can’t bring you something?

Some hot milk? “

“No, no.” She was frowning. That was so unlike her.

She went to her room and I went to see Lily.

“She’s back, then,” said Lily.

“I’ll see about dinner.”

“She doesn’t want anything. She’s gone straight to bed.”

“She must have had something in Devizes.”

“She looks worn out and she just wants to go to bed.”

“Doesn’t want anything! I’ll take up some milk.”

“She firmly said she doesn’t want anything. All she wants is bed and sleep.”

It was a gloomy evening. It started to rain and there was thunder in the air. I had expected Aunt Sophie to come back and tell me with her usual vivacity all about the visit to Devizes. This was most extraordinary and 1 was worried about her.

2. I could not resist going to her room. She was lying in her bed, her eyes tightly closed, but even so she looked unlike herself. 1 was afraid she was going to be ill.

1 went to Lily. I said: “I hope she’s all right. 1 just crept in to look at her.”

“So did 1,” said Lily.

“She is just worn out. Exhausted, that’s what.

It’ll teach her a lesson. She’s always doing too much. “

1 had to be satisfied with that.

1 went to my room. It was about half past nine. How different everything seemed without Aunt Sophie. I could not bear anything to happen to her.

I sat by my window looking out. The clouds were lour ing. I could see Barrow Wood. It looked particularly menacing in this light, but it always did to me . even in sunshine. From the distance came the rumble of thunder. It had been a very unsatisfactory day. I kept saying to myself I should have gone to Devizes with her.

I undressed and got into bed. I could not sleep. Then suddenly I thought I heard a footstep. It was nothing, I told myself. The Rowans was an old house and the boards creaked at times. One frequently heard them in the quiet of the night. But was that the sound of a door being quietly opened?

1 put on my dressing-gown and slippers, went to the door, opened it and listened.

Yes, someone was downstairs. Could it be Lily? She had said she would have an early night, but perhaps she had gone down to the kitchen for something.

I decided to go and see. So I went downstairs to the kitchen and quietly opened the door. On the table was a lighted candle on a stick and sitting there was Aunt Sophie.

There was a look of abject misery in her very attitude;

She was leaning forward, her face cupped in her hands, staring ahead of her. ;

“Aunt Sophie,” I said.

She stared at me in alarm.

“What has happened?” I asked.

“Oh,” she said.

“I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d come down and make a cup of tea. It might help.”

“There’s something wrong, isn’t there?”

She was silent.

“You must tell me. What is it?”

Still she did not speak.

“We can’t go on like this,” I said.

“I know something is very wrong.

You have to tell me. “

“I don’t know what to do. Perhaps I was mistaken. No, I wasn’t. But perhaps.”

“Mistaken about what? Where was it? What was it you saw? Was it in Devizes?”

She nodded. Then she turned to me and put her arms about me. I knew she had decided she must tell me.

She said: “I saw them. They came out of the hotel together.”

“Who, Aunt Sophie?”

“I keep telling myself it couldn’t be. But I know it was.”

“You must tell me everything.”

“It was Crispin. He was with Kate Carvel.”

“His wife? She’s dead.”

“It gave me a terrible shock. I thought I must be dreaming. But it was her. She’s not the sort you forget. There couldn’t be any doubt.”

“But you couldn’t have seen her. Aunt Sophie. She’s dead. She died in a railway accident a long time ago.”

Aunt Sophie looked at me steadily.

“I didn’t know whether to tell you or not. I’ve been trying to make up my mind ever since. 1 couldn’t face you. I had to be by myself.”

“You must have imagined it.”

“No. 1 couldn’t be mistaken. She had the same gold hair. She’s not changed. She’s just as she was … and they came out of the hotel together. They stood there and then they got into a cab.”

33

“It simply can’t be true.”

“Well, I saw it. What can you make of that?”

“It must have been someone else.”

“There couldn’t be two like her in the world. It was Kate Carvel, Freddie. It means … she’s alive.”

“I can’t believe that.”

“She’s his wife. He married her. Oh, Freddie, how can he marry you?”

I sat at the table, limp with horror and fear, trying to grasp the implication of all this. I could only keep repeating to myself: It isn’t true.

A great clap of thunder startled me. I was bewildered, uncertain. The night lay ahead of me. The clock on the mantelpiece told me it was only half past eleven. Tomorrow I would see him, but how could I live through the night? I must see him now. I must hear from his own lips that Aunt Sophie had made a terrible mistake.

I stood up and said: “I am going to see him.”

“Tonight?”

“Aunt Sophie, I can’t go through the night not knowing. I have to find out now if you were right.”

“I shouldn’t have told you. I knew I shouldn’t.”

“You should. It is better for me to know. 1 am going now.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No. No, I must go alone. I must see him. I must know.”

I went to my room and put on boots and a heavy coat. Then I ran downstairs and out into the night, through the rain to St. Aubyn’s. I rang the bell and, late though it was, a manservant opened the door.

“I want to see Mr. St. Aubyn,” I said.

He looked amazed.

“Come in. Miss Hammond,” he said, as Crispin came into the hall.

“Frederica!” he cried.

“I had to come,” I said.

“I had to see you.”

It’s all right. Groves,” said Crispin to the servant, and to me: ” Come in here. “

He took me into a small room leading from the hall and attempted to take off my coat, but I kept it on. I had not waited to dress properly.

“I had to come,” 1 burst out.

“I had to know if this is true. I could not wait.”

He was looking at me in alarm.

“Tell me what it is,” he said.

“Aunt Sophie was in Devizes today. She is very upset. She said she saw you there with Kate Carvel.”

He turned pale and I knew in that moment that Aunt Sophie had not been mistaken.

I said: “It was true, then?”

He seemed to be grappling with himself.

I went on: “Please, Crispin, I must have the truth.”

He said: “It’s all right. Everything is going to be all right. We’re going to be married. I tell you, it will be all right.”

I knew he was not telling the truth. I thought: He tells me what he wants me to believe. A great fear came to me then.

“Everything is settled,” he went on.

“I have arranged everything. It is all going to be just as we planned.”

“You said you were going to Salisbury,” I reminded him.

“Yet Aunt Sophie saw you in Devizes.”

He was silent and I knew that he had been to Devizes to meet Kate Carvel and there was no doubt now that Aunt Sophie had seen them together there.

He laid his hands tenderly on my shoulders.

“Look,” he said.

“There is no need for you to worry about any of this. I have arranged it all.

You and I are going on as we planned. I could not endure it otherwise.

Nor will I. I am determined on that. “

“If you are going to have secrets from me, Crispin, if 1 am not to be told what I know affects you deeply, there can never be true closeness between us. I must know the

truth. Aunt Sophie saw you coming out of the hotel with the woman whom you married. She is supposed to be dead. How can she be if she were with you in Devizes? “

His arms slipped round me and he held me tightly.

“I will tell you what happened, but it isn’t going to make any difference. She is silenced. I could arrange that, and I did.”

“Silenced!” I cried in horror.

“I see I must tell you everything. A few days ago I had a letter from her.”

“I knew something had happened,” I cried.

“Oh, Crispin … why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t. 1 feared what this would mean. I am determined that at all costs I will not lose you. Frederica, you must not leave me. She wanted money. She always wanted money. That is why it is an easy way out … to silence her, to keep her quiet … to stop her preventing us”

“But she is there. She is your wife.”

“She read the announcement of our engagement. That is what started it.