Seven (29 page)

“I should’ve told you,” he whispers. The sadness in his eyes is devastating.

“I understand why you didn’t,” I say. He doesn’t move or respond. “Hey.” I squeeze his hand. He looks at me with glistening eyes that break my heart all over again. “Bryant, I get it now. I understand why you didn’t want to say anything and it’s okay. You weren’t trying to be malicious. You were just trying to protect me from hurting.”

He shakes his head slowly, his lower lip quivering. “Yeah.”

A tear slips out of my own eye as I watch him almost fall apart in front of me. It looks like he’s been taking this all so hard…and I wasn’t coherent enough to help him. As I watch him, visions of Peyton and Shawn and Ivy and their friend all smiling and playing amongst the roses flutter through my mind. They were all so happy…peaceful.

“Bryant?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to tell you something…and…you’re probably going to think I’m mental and maybe I am, but I need to tell you anyway.”

“You can tell me anything Sev. I assure you, nothing you say is going to change my opinion of you.”

“I saw Peyton.” I smile when I say her name. “And Shawn, and Ivy and another little friend of theirs…all playing outside a place that looked just like your house. Bryant, I got to hold her and talk to her, and smell her.”

“When did…” He clears his throat. “When did you see them?”

“I don’t know. I mean it was while I was in here, asleep, so it must’ve been some sort of dream, right? But Bryant…I hadn’t seen Peyton or Shawn in a dream ever since the day they left me. Not once.”

Bryant peels his eyes away from me as he adjusts his hat down over his eyes. He hasn’t said anything yet. I’m not sure what he’s thinking.

“Well that’s great.” He nods. “That’s really great.” He looks up at me and smiles, though his smile doesn’t match mine.

Something is wrong.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him.

“Huh? Nothing at all, sweetheart.” He never calls me sweetheart. “Did you…you know, talk to Peyton or…Shawn? In your dream, I mean?”

“Yeah, of course I did. Peyton showed me all the fun she was having…she was older in my dream though…Ivy’s age, I guess. They were playing together and giggling…throwing rose petals in the air like it was confetti.” I laugh…and then wince, because it hurts my head to laugh.

Bryant’s eyes glisten as he listens to my story. I have no clue what could be going through his head right now, but he isn’t making eye contact with me.

“And Shawn? How did that…make you feel?” he asks anxiously.

I decide not to answer him at first, pausing my story until he looks me in the eye so I can tell him exactly what Shawn said. It takes almost twenty-five seconds for him to finally look at me, his eyes worrisome. Reaching out to touch him, I brush my hand over his chest. I want him to hear me.

“He told me that everything I’ve ever wanted is right in front of me.” Bryant’s eyes grow bigger as if those weren’t the words he was expecting to hear. “He reminded me that we only have one life, this one life, and that I should take a chance on love again because…” I sniffle through the tears that are sliding down my cheek. “Because I deserve to be happy, and he knows you make me happy.”

Bryant blows out a huge breath of air. He holds his forehead in his hand for second before looking back to me. “Really? I mean…really?”

“Yeah…” I say through my tears. “Really. I love you Bryant. I’m so sorry I did this to us. I broke us. I knocked us both down, and I’ll always feel terrible about that because you didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t your responsibility to put my broken pieces back together again. I needed to do it all on my own, but it sure was nice to know that every time you touched me or held me, or hugged me, you were gluing another piece back into place.”

“Savannah.” He slides into my bed, tenderly putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me into his chest. I missed his body so much, his warmth, his comfort. “I love you too. So damn much it hurts. It broke me knowing that I had anything to do with this; I never ever wanted to hurt you. I’m so grateful you came back to me.” He kisses my head as I nuzzle into the side of his chest.

“Stay with me,” I whisper grasping his t-shirt in my fingers.

“I’ll never leave you, Sev. I’m right here.”

“Bryant?”

“Yeah?”

“Why were you watching
Say Yes to the Dress
?”

I feel his body tremble as he laughs quietly. “I wasn’t. I turned it on hoping you would hear it and wake up. I know how you like those girly shows.”

If it’s possible to fall even more in love with Bryant Wood, I just did.

Chapter 32

Bryant

Holding her while she sleeps is my new favorite thing. It’s better than an ice cold beer. It’s better than driving down a dirt road with the windows wide open. It’s better than sex. Feeling her body lying comfortably on mine, her arm wrapped in a cast lying across my stomach, her fingers clutching my shirt like she’s afraid I’ll leave her…she makes me feel like the goddam king of the world. I didn’t think I would ever love someone as much I love Ivy. God knows my life has been nothin’ but mountains and canyons, but for the first time in a long time, I finally feel like life is working its way back to solid ground. I’ve got my two best girls in my life. I’ll love them. I’ll protect them. I’ll care for them. I’ll provide for them. And I’ll enjoy every minute of it.

“Good morning.” A stout looking nurse, who kind of reminds me of Mrs. Potts from
Beauty and the Beast
, waltzes in with her tablet in hand. She catches my eyes when she sees that I’m lying with Savannah, her body comfortably curled into mine. For a moment I think she’s going to sternly tell me to get my ass out of the bed at which point I would’ve told her to go fuck herself. Instead she sweetly smiles and softly says “I need to check her vitals. I hate to wake her up, she looks so comfortable. My name is Ruth. I’ll be your nurse through the afternoon.”

“Bryant.” I smile back at her and nod. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Delicately I smooth Savannah’s hair on her head a few times until her eyes open.

“Morning gorgeous,” I say to her. “Ruth here needs to check your vitals. You okay to do that? I’ll need to move so she has access to your good arm.”

Savannah yawns and stretches a little bit before answering. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Thank you.” Ruth thanks me with a smile. She’s a bubbly lady for such an early hour. I guess it’s better than having a cranky bitch for a nurse. She must be just starting her shift. She walks swiftly over to Savannah’s left side to check her IVs, and her blood pressure as well as her other vitals, all of which seem to be good.

“Um…” I hear Savannah say. “Do you think I could get rid of this catheter?” Her cheeks blush when she says it like she’s embarrassed to say the words in front of me. Maybe it’s a bad time to tell her I’ve been watching her pee fill the bag for a couple days now. Girls and their modesty.

“Sure thing dear,” Ruth says. She turns and looks to me expectantly and I hear her loud and clear.

I clear my throat and tell Savannah “Hey I’m going to walk down the hall and grab a coffee. You need anything?”

“Ohhh a coffee sounds so good right now. If it’s okay with Ruth, maybe you could get me a small cup?”

“Of course sweetheart, that’s fine.” Ruth confirms.  “Oh…” She points her finger up in the air as she turns to face me. “Not too much caffeine though. It’s bad for the baby.”

“Will do. Be right back,” I say as I head for the door.

Except I don’t make it through the door.

I run right into it instead.

Did she just say baby?

My feet shuffle back a few steps until I can see Savannah’s face. Her expression will tell me what I need to know. Maybe I just heard everything wrong.

“I’m sorry,” Savannah says. “But did you just say…”

“Baby?” I finish Savannah’s sentence for her.

Fuck. I wasn’t wrong. She heard it too.

“Yes, Dear. That’s what I said. Too much caffeine can be bad for the baby during a pregnancy.”

Savannah’s eyes dart to me and she shakes her head clearly confused. “But I’m not…I can’t be…there’s no way I’m…”

Ruth looks taken aback as she stops what she’s doing to look at the befuddled expression on Savannah’s face, shocked that it seems as though she told a secret that nobody knew. “Well dear me, you mean you didn’t know? It’s right here in your lab work. They even did an ultrasound…oh.”

“Oh, what?” Savannah and I both say together.

For the love of Christ, Ruth better not give her bad news now that she’s told Savannah that she’s pregnant.

“Oh, I just see that they did your ultrasound when they had you back in the operating room to fix your knee and your elbow.” She looks at Savannah and then says quietly. “I’m sorry, Dear, I just assumed you knew and that this man was the father.”

“Ahem.” I clear my throat having had enough of this woman. “First of all, I’m right here. You don’t have to be secretive. If anyone’s the father of that baby, I assure you, it’s me. And secondly, she only just woke up a few hours ago. Of course she wouldn’t know. We haven’t seen a doctor yet this morning.”

“Bryant, calm down.” Savannah says to me. “It’s okay.”

Bullshit. It’s not okay. She’s laying there in that bed with her hand on her stomach, clearly shocked beyond all belief that she’s pregnant and once again, it’s all my fucking fault. She’s quiet for a moment and it’s killing me. I have no idea what she could be thinking. Is this even true? What if Ruth, the dumbass nurse, just got her confused with someone else? Then it’s just more emotional shit that Savannah has to go through. On the other side, what if it is true?

“I want to see her chart.”

“Mr. Wood, I don’t…”

There’s a knock at the door before it swings open and a team of three medical personnel walk in. “Good morning. My name is Doctor Cortina. These are my two interns following me for the day.” He says as he motions to the people standing behind him, notebooks and pens in hand.

“How are you feeling this morning, Savannah?”

“Umm.” She clears her throat looking to me before she answers. “Like I just woke up from the longest nap I’ve ever had.” That’s my girl. Always trying to ease the air around her even when she has to be panicking on the inside. “My head still hurts a good bit and my body feels sore but other than that, I think I’m okay.”

“Good, good.” Doctor Cortina says. “I’m happy to report that all your bloodwork has come back and it doesn’t look as though there are any further complications, so now that you’re awake and alert, we’ll watch you for a few hours and hopefully get you out of here by later this afternoon. Do you have any questions for me?”

“Yes, actually,” she says quickly. “Ruth, here, just let it slip that I’m…I mean - that I might be - she says I’m…pregnant?”

Doctor Cortina smiles. “Oh, so you didn’t know when you arrived here? Your parents weren’t sure if you knew or not.”

WHAT? Her parents fucking knew?

Her father knew and didn’t say anything to me?

Savannah shakes her head slowly. Her eyes in a trance. “No, sir.” She gulps.

“Then congratulations are in order, Savannah. Yes, you are indeed pregnant. Your blood work and ultrasound put you in the nine to ten week range and as of now, I’m happy to report that the baby is doing just fine.”

“Thank you…doctor.” Savannah says unemotionally. I wish I knew what this girl was thinking right now. It’s killing me that I can’t read her facial expressions…or rather that she’s not giving me any to try to read.

“You’re quite welcome. You’ll want to make sure you follow up with your Obstetrician when you get home. Since you haven’t been on any prenatal care as of yet, it’s important to get started right away. We’ll make sure to set you up with some prenatal vitamins before you leave here.”

Savannah nods her head quietly. Doctor Cortina turns to me and nods his goodbyes before leaving the room, Ruth following right behind. Savannah and I are alone for the first time since receiving this life-changing news.

A baby.

Our baby.

“Bryant, what’s the date today?”

“Uh, July ninth. Why?”

“And what was the date nine or ten weeks ago?”

My eyebrows raise at her question. I pull out my phone and scroll back a few months counting the weeks as I go. “Umm, looks like the end of April or maybe beginning of May?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t get it. We were always so careful. We used protection every time.”

I swallow hard, knowing she’s incorrect. “Not every time, Seven,” I whisper. She glances at me questioningly. “The couch in my office…”

Fuck!

I fucking knocked her up on the couch in my office.

The same way I did it with Samantha.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

“Oh,” she says.

I feel the urge to scream, or cry, or…I don’t even know how I feel right now. I need to take a damn breath for just a minute.

“I’m gonna…go…get those coffees now.”

“Bryant don’t…” It’s all I hear before I hastily walk into the hallway. Once I’m out there I bend over at my waist, taking a huge breath of air.

“Sir, are you alright?” one of the nurses asks me.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just needed some air.” I walk down the hall to the elevators but can’t get myself to push the damn button to call for one. Something in me tells me not to be far from Savannah, but I just can’t bring myself to look at her right now. Instead I back track to the waiting room where the disgusting coffee vending machine is. I push a few quarters in and push the button for black coffee. It’ll taste like shit but that’s what I get for messing up Savannah’s life again.

“Jamie told her that the only reason she would want to be with you
is so you’ll knock her up too, and give her another kid
to replace the dead one she no longer has.”

“Savannah, not that you really want or need to know this,
but Ivy was conceived on the couch in my shit hole of an office at the bar.”

“Damnit!” I shout and kick the snack vending machine. To my surprise a package of Oreos slips out and lands in the tray. I stick my hand in and pull them out, placing of them in my pocket. I’ll stress-eat them later. I can’t believe I did this to her. She’s got to be upset with me. Jamie was right, I knocked her up and I fucking did it on a damn couch in my office. I treated Savannah like a piece of trash, like another piece of ass. At least, that’s the way she’ll see it. How could she not? I didn’t give her what she deserved. I didn’t protect her. I wasn’t honest with her. I’m the last guy she needs in her life right now.

“Bryant?” Mr. and Mrs. Sanders are in the doorway watching me pace the room by myself. “What’s going on, Son? Is Savannah okay? Did she wake up?”

“Yeah, she woke up,” I mutter.

Mr. and Mrs. Sanders look to each other frowning in confusion. “What happened then?” Mr. Sanders asks. Mrs. Sanders chimes in too. “Something must’ve happened because you look like you’re about to...”

“You knew she was pregnant,” I whisper. “You knew, and you didn’t tell me?”

Mr. Sanders inhales a deep breath. It’s not lost on me the way he puffs his chest out a little to show me that he’s the boss.

“Sit down, Bryant.”

Fuck you dude.

“I would rather stand if you don’t mind.”

“Sit…down…Bryant.” He says more sternly. I stare at him, trying to decide if I want to push past him and run like hell, or follow his direction. Like a pouting child, I throw myself into a chair along the wall, of course, spilling some of my coffee.

“I’m…umm,” Mrs. Sanders looks to her husband and me. “I’ll just go check on Savannah.”

Mr. Sanders is quiet for a moment when he sits down in the chair next to me. He leans his head against the wall, deciding on the words to say.

“Bryant, you’re right. The doctor told us when we were here that night that it looked as if Savannah was pregnant. Assuming it’s yours…”

“Yeah, it’s mine, sir. Your daughter’s not a piece of trash. She doesn’t sleep around.”

“Well I hope you’ll understand then that when you were here with us that night and never mentioned a baby, I knew that meant that you didn’t know, and it wasn’t my place to tell you. For what it’s worth though, from what I’ve heard these past couple days from people in the Bardstown community, and from some of your friends, you’re a pretty great father. Probably more patient and stronger fighting than I ever was for my baby girl. For those reasons alone I know you’ll be a good father to this child too.”

“Sir, I can’t even be certain that Savannah will want me involved. This is all my fault too. How could I have been so stupid?”

“Did you force yourself on my daughter, Mr. Wood?” he asks. I turn my head towards him, immediately offended that he would ever think I could hurt Savannah. “Never! Dear God, I would never do that to a woman.”

“Then I think it’s safe to say this isn’t all your fault.” When I make eye contact with Mr. Sanders, he winks at me. He fuckin’ winks. “We’re all adults here Bryant and everyone knows how babies are made. It happens. Do you love her?”

“More than the air I breathe, sir.”

I see the side of his mouth rise up in what I’m sure is a tiny satisfied smile. “Then don’t run away too quickly, Bryant. You two are in this together and she’s going to need you now more than ever. I’m too old to deal with the hormones that are going to be coming your way…the hot flashes, and the late night pickles and ice cream runs. I’m just an old man trained and ready to spoil my grandchild with all the love in the world.”

“But what if something happens to her, sir? Or the baby? She can’t…I can’t…”

“Perhaps it would be better for you to stop focusing on all the what-could-go-wrongs, and steer your thoughts towards the what-could-go-rights. It’s okay to let your faith be bigger than your fear.”