Seth's Cravings: An Endless Series: Book 2 (61 page)

     The frown on Cole’s face as I relayed the details said
he was confused by what he was hearing. “That doesn’t sound like my
grandparents.”

     “I’m sure they have more of a connection to you. They
didn’t know us and I guess we really didn’t allow them to get to know us.”

     His frowned deepened. “You were dealing with a crap
load of shit, even I realized that. They should have made more of an effort.
They were
your
grandparents too.”

     It was basically the same thing Seth had said and it
made my chest painfully constrict.

     Cole leaned forward in his chair. “You okay? You went
pale suddenly.”

     “I’m sick, remember.” I explained away. “I don’t hold
any bad feelings against the Barber’s. Unfortunately, I don’t really hold any
feelings for them at all. They were just people we lived with. But I wasn’t
going to leave Luka and Issy with them after I became an adult. They needed a
more loving atmosphere, and we needed to stay together.”

     He leaned back in the chair staring at me with a frown.
“You aren’t what I expected.”

     My lips twisted. “What were you expecting?”

     He shook his head with a twisted grin of his own.
“Hell, I don’t know, just not you.” Suddenly, his face became serious. “Do you
hate him…for what he did?”

     The question was like a punch in the face. “Uhm…
derr’mo
.
That’s difficult to answer. Do you?”

     His head rocked back in reflection. “Yeah, it is a
difficult question to answer.” His hand rubbed through his hair. “I’ve had so
many questions. I’ve always wondered if he was different with you than he was
with us. I had never been in doubt that he loved us, that’s why it shocked me
when I found out about you. If he’d been noticeably unhappy it might have made
more sense, but I don’t think he was. Or he was damn good at acting…Shit, we
already know he was a damn good actor.” He said cynically.

     My heart tapped double time as he echoed my thoughts.
“Those are the same things I’ve wondered. I never doubted his love either, or
that he was happy with us. I questioned if he was unhappy with his first
marriage and when he met my mother thought he had a second chance at happiness.”

     Cole exhaled a gruff laugh. “We’re never going to know,
are we? He took all his answers to the grave. I wish we could have gotten
together to discuss this years ago, cleared the air for both our families sake.
We probably wouldn’t have attained any real answers, but we could have bonded
in our shared shit storm.”

     I laughed at his description. “Graham hates my guts.”

     “He was the youngest of us all and the most influenced
by our mother’s opinion of you. I’m sorry for what he said about her, and you.
He’s a bit of a spoiled ass, and I’ve told him so.” He said regretfully. “Todd,
I think, might be more inclined to meet you though.”

     There was noise at the door before it suddenly burst
open and Issy ran into the room. “Nadia!” She ran right for me but halted at
seeing Cole. Her face showed surprise and then she was on the couch, curling up
next to me in shyness.

     Cole stared at her in undisguised curiosity. It loosed
something inside me to see him showing interest in her. I could admit that I
was just as interested in him.

     “Let me talk to both of them before.” I said as I
smoothed down Issy’s hair.

     He nodded his head understanding what I was asking. I
wasn’t going to blurt out Cole’s identity without warning them first.

     Standing up he headed for the door and I stood up to
follow, leaving Issy on the couch. He slipped on his shoes and I opened the
door following him outside.

     “Thanks for opening the door to me today.” He turned
around to face me, watching me pensively.

     I nodded. “Thanks for getting up enough guts to come
over.”

     The slamming of a door had us both looking down to see
Luka getting out of Samantha’s car. “It’s amazing how much all three of you
look alike.” Cole said shaking his head.

     “We got our looks from our
mat’
, but our height
from
otets
. You and Graham seem to have received his height as well.” Cole
had to be at least six-three.

     Cole nodded. “Todd did as well.”

     Luka walked around to Samantha’s side of the car as she
got out. They gave each a short hug before pulling away with a wave goodbye.

     “Is that his girlfriend?” Cole asked.

     I set my hands on the railing. “I think they’re just
friends. They met a couple months ago and hang out every now and then. She
lives an hour away and is a senior in high school. I haven’t heard any
indication on his part that he’s interested in her romantically. But who
knows.” The hug I had just witnessed between them seemed platonic.

     “She’s very pretty. It’s hard to imagine him not being
interested in her.” Cole snorted still watching her.

     I gave him a small nudge. “Are you saying that
attractive girls and boys can’t just be friends?”

     Half of his mouth hitched up. “Let’s say I find it rather
difficult to comprehend.”

     I gave him an arched look. “You’re a player, aren’t
you?”

     He smirked. “I like the ladies, and that’s all I’m
admitting.”

     Samantha looked up and seeing us waved with a smile. I
waved back. Cole just stared down at her. Getting back in her car she drove
away and I turned as Luka came up the steps toward us. He frowned at seeing
Cole, but I don’t think he recognized who he was. It had been a few years since
he’d seen pictures of them and he’d been quite young. He’d most likely
forgotten.

     “Anything wrong?” Luka asked, his gaze switching back
and forth between the two of us.

     “No.” I reassured him with a smile. “I’ll be inside in
a minute.”

     Luka gave Cole one more narrowed eye look before
stepping inside the apartment.

     “He’s protective of you, that’s good.” Cole chuckled
before turning serious. “Can we exchange numbers then, and maybe set up a time
to talk further?”

     I nodded, actually looking forward to it. “I’ll give
you mine and you can give me a quick text to give me yours.”

     Cole pulled out his phone and I gave him my number.
“Maybe sometime this week we could all have dinner together, or next weekend?”
He suggested. 

     “Let me talk to them and then I’ll get back to you
about it.”

     Nodding in agreement he slipped his phone back into his
pocket, and went back to staring at me intently. “Again, I’m sorry for what
Graham said. I don’t blame your mother, or any of you. The blame all falls on
dads’ shoulders. I hope my coming here can be a step forward for both our
families, we are related after all, and I would like to get to know my half-siblings.”

     “I would as well.” I echoed feeling a pull toward him I
hadn’t expected.  

     “And I hope you feel better.” With that last comment
Cole turned and walked away.

     I stared after him thoughtfully. He seemed like a
complex individual. Seven years ago he would have been around eighteen when
otets
died, and as the oldest male in the house it must have been a heavy load of
responsibility on his shoulders. I could see the effect of it in his eyes. I
recognized it as the same look in my own.

     The responsibility hadn’t seemed so heavy when Seth had
been near me. Pain lashed at me as he popped back into my thoughts.

     That distraction hadn’t lasted nearly long enough.

     I gave myself a mental shake and slap. I couldn’t let
myself wallow in depression. Issy and Luka were depending on me. Regrettably,
one tear duct didn’t get the memo, letting out a single tear to slide down my
cheek.

Chapter Thirty-Six

SETH

     It had been almost a full week with absolutely no word
from Nadia. She wasn’t returning any of my text’s or calls. For five days I’d
had to forcibly restrain myself from going over to her apartment, but I had no
idea where her mind was at and there was no way I was going to allow Issy to
witness another hellacious argument. So, I was biding my time in hopes that she
was still in the process of cooling off…and not writing me off.

     However, if she didn’t talk to me soon I was going to
have to do something drastic; corner her somewhere alone, make up some plumbing
appointment at a friends, kidnap her and tie her to my bed till she listened…I
was getting desperate.

     I was texting her everyday; telling her I loved her,
that I was sorry, explaining over and over again that I in no way meant to
deceive her, that everything was just a misunderstanding, and that I loved her.
Yes, I started with love and ended with it…I was going to bombard her with that
point until she believed me.

     Fuck, I missed her like crazy and was on the edge of an
emotional explosion. I literally needed to get her in my arms, be able to touch
her, or else I was going to turn someone’s face inside out.

     Evan, Blake, Nic, Noah, and even Landon had hauled me
out of the house tonight to a bar in hopes of distracting me, but the drinks I
was consuming were only bringing me down.

     “This isn’t working guys.” I grumbled, downing my
eighth beer.

     We were crowded at a high top table in the middle of
the bar so Evan and Blake had a better view of the whole bar and all it had to
offer in the female persuasion. It hadn’t taken long for several women to sidle
up and plant themselves near for offering. Both Evan and Blake had waved over
two instantly. Nic and Noah ignored them and instead were watching a game on one
of the television screens and rooting for opposing teams. Landon and I just
consumed drink after drink of alcohol.

     I still didn’t know what Landon’s problem was and at
the moment I didn’t care, because he was looking to get just as shit faced as me.
Besides the eight beers I’d also had several shots of vodka…from the top shelf.

     “This is our last drinking weekend, Seth.” Evan was
planning for a three day drinking weekend, that’s why we were here on a
Thursday. “Monday the season starts, and then so long alcohol for months. A
couple more shots and beers and you’ll forget being down in the dumps.”

     That was never going to happen. The only way I was
going to feel better was if Nadia finally started talking to me again.

     In regards to the upcoming lacrosse season, I was to
some extent looking forward to it. I needed to take some of my pent up
frustration out on some breathing bodies. I’d doubled my time in the gym, but that
was only helping a little, and because of this build-up of emotions my course
work was suffering, I just wasn’t able to focus. 

     Evan waved down a waitress to order another round of
beers and shots.

     I sighed, what the hell, it was worth a try.

     Landon was sitting next to me working to get his eighth
beer down. “Why are we here?” He grumbled drunkenly. The two of us had each
drank the same amount of alcohol, but because of my weight and frame it wasn’t
hitting me as hard as it was Landon. Lucky son of a bitch.

     “I don’t know.” I grumbled back. We were united in our
drinking, but our conversation sucked.

     A red head walked up to the table smiling in that way
they smiled when they were looking for a fuck. “Hey guys…”

     Both Landon and I interrupted her at the same time.
“Not interested.” “Keep moving.”

     Her smile flipped over instantly and she stormed away
in a huff. At least I think she stormed, I didn’t bother to watch her march
away. 

     Blake barked out a laugh. “I can understand Seth’s bad
mood, but what’s your problem, Landon?”

     “Herpes.” He replied in a deadpan tone. The two girls’
in Evan and Blake’s laps stared at Landon in horror. “And Syphilis, got me some
of that too.”

     The table rattled as the two girls bolted, and I rolled
my eyes at their gullibility, or most likely, stupidity. Nadia would have had
some snappy comeback to Landon’s comment. I rubbed my chest as the ache there
settled deeper.

     “Shit, Landon, that was priceless.” Nic choked out a
laugh.

     “You are such an asswipe.” Evan barked, trying to look
annoyed.

     Blake laughed as well. “I don’t think they’re coming
back.”

     Both guys knew they would have no problem finding
replacements so they weren’t holding Landon’s remarks against him.

     “Good thing, you might have caught their stupid. You
can thank me later…or now by buying my drink.” Landon announced as the waitress
walked up with our next round.

     Grabbing the beer bottle and picking up the shot, I
downed the vodka and chased it with half my beer. I then suffered through
another ten minutes of watching Blake and Evan gain another two new dull as
dirt females with inane chit-chat before admitting to myself that my bad mood
would be better spent at home by myself. I would take Landon with me and we
could spend the night together alone. It wasn’t like either of us was in the
mood for conversation.

     Or maybe I could sit in Nadia’s building parking lot
watching her apartment like some demented stalker. It wasn’t like I hadn’t
already crossed that line of disturbing behavior once this week.

     I was losing it.

     “I’m heading out.” I grunted.