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He intended just a small kiss. Honest. Just
a taste. But her body molded to his and the kiss deepened. Her fingers pressed
against his chest in hungry exploration and he responded, tightening his hold
and pulling her closer. When they parted, a sultry gleam glimmered in her eyes.
“I changed my mind. I don’t want to take a walk tonight,” she murmured.

John stepped back, unsure if she meant what
he thought she meant. He took her chin and gently turned her face to the light.
The sultry look flickered a moment before settling into place. He dropped his
hand.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“That’s not what I… John…”

He reached around her and opened the door.
“Let’s talk. Inside.”

John put the windows down, letting the
fresh-water scent of the lake blow through. The breeze lifted strands of
Lauren’s hair, giving him a perfect opportunity. Leaning over, he tucked a
stray behind her ear and pulled her close to him, kissing her again to let her
know he wasn’t angry. Her lips felt hungry under his, except he didn’t really
know what she was hungry for. For that matter, he wasn’t sure what he wanted
either. But he knew she pulled at his heartstrings in a way he hadn’t felt in a
very long time. Despite her damaged psyche, she intrigued him. He deepened the
kiss before ending it, pleased when she didn’t pull away.

When it ended, for several seconds, neither
said anything. The sounds of the lakeshore’s nightlife wafted in on the night
air. When they finally spoke, they overlapped each other.

“John, I really like you…”

“Lauren, I don’t know what you want…”

He smiled and she chuckled nervously. With
a gesture, she indicated he should go first. Reaching over, he took her hand in
his. “I really enjoyed dinner tonight.”

“So did I.”

“More than I thought I would.”

That surprised her. She cocked an eyebrow
at him. “Oh?”

“Yesterday you caught my eye with not only
your skill on the field but your charm afterward.”

Lauren snorted. She’d flirted, yes. But
been charming? She doubted that.

“If I hadn’t been intrigued, I wouldn’t
have asked for a date.” His tone mildly scolded and Lauren nodded, unrepentant.
She took refuge in humor when people got too close. And John treaded far too
near the line.

“So now I have a dilemma. I can take you to
my house and have my way with you…”

“Tied and made love to all night long, I
believe was your promise.”

She meant to egg him on, get him angry so
he’d just take her home, since it was becoming increasingly clear to her that
he was trying to let her down gently.

“It was,” he agreed without a trace of
rancor in his voice. “I find myself, however, asking if tonight’s the right
night to do that.”

“It is Sunday night. I suppose you have
work in the morning? Summer school or some such?”

“No, I don’t teach in the summers. It’s my
time to do research.”

Damn him. He remained unflappable, even as
she got snippier.

“Lauren, I like you. I’d like to get to
know you more. But you deflect every question, every topic that has to do with
you. I could still take you home, tie you up and make love to you all night
long, except that I’d only be making love to your body, not your heart. And I
already know I want more than that with you. You deserve more than that.”

His hand squeezed hers but she had no
strength to squeeze back. Her thoughts whirled. How did you argue with a man
who understood you needed more than just a one-night stand? What woman would
complain about a man who wanted her for more than just her body? Finally she
nodded. “Thank you.” She looked over at him, glad for the shadows that
prevented him from seeing the tear that escaped. “I’m not used to… I’ve kept
people at a distance for a long time. It’s hard for me to let anyone in.”

“I know.” His voice sounded soft,
reassuring. “I will only come in as far as you want me to. I’m not going to
force you.” His hand squeezed hers. “But know I’m not going away. I’m very
serious when I say I want to know you better.”

“Thank you. I want to know you better too.”

“Even though neither of us has anything
pressing to do tomorrow, I think I should be getting you home.”

Lauren nodded, liking the feel of his
goatee on the back of her hand as he gave it a chaste kiss.

They drove to her apartment in near
silence, each thinking over the other’s comments. Although she didn’t say
anything as he drove down the streets, her hands, clenched together on her lap,
told him all he needed to know.

He also knew he couldn’t rush her. Her
breathing had returned to normal and some of the tension had gone from her
shoulders. Didn’t matter. She’d have nightmares tonight. So would he. Stopping
in front of her apartment, he turned off the engine.

“Lauren…”

She turned to him, a sad smile on her lips.
“Thank you, John. I really enjoyed myself tonight. It’s been awhile since I let
myself…” He waited as she struggled for the right words. “Since I let my guard
down,” she finished.

“I’m honored you felt safe enough with me
to do that.”

Lauren chuckled. “I don’t know what it is
about you, but you’re right. ‘Safe’ is the operative word here. There’s
something about you that makes me want to curl up in your arms and…”

“And?”

She shrugged and her head dipped down. Her
hair fell like a curtain in front of her face and John knew she’d made the
movement deliberately. She wasn’t quite ready to share all her secrets with
him. When she didn’t answer, he took her hand, running his thumb along the
length of her slender fingers. “Lauren, you are safe with me. And to prove it,
I’m going to walk you to that door and see you inside and then I’m going to go
away and not press my advantage when you’re feeling vulnerable.”

Her head shot up at that. “Vulnerable? I’m
a big girl and can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

Obviously he’d hit a nerve. Patient, he sat
and waited. Finally, she caved and smiled.

“Okay, so maybe I need a little help now
and again.” She grinned and John liked seeing her so relaxed. “But I’m not
totally helpless, you know.”

“I know. I’d like to see you again.”

“Even after my meltdown?”

“Probably because of your meltdown.”

She arched her eyebrow at him. “Oh? I
appeal to your knight’s sense of chivalry? You’re going to rescue a damsel in
distress?”

Her voice had gone cold and John suddenly
realized the thin ice he stood on. There was some truth to her statement but
there was more too. He liked her. He’d found her competent on the field of
battle, so to speak, been intrigued enough by her beauty to ask her out and
then enjoyed their banter over dinner. Until her meltdown she’d been pretty
close to a normal date.

Then she’d shown him a deeper side that
he’d only caught glimpses of before, a side that had seen the same horrors he
had. How many women had gone screaming into the night because of
his
nightmares?
Lauren wouldn’t. John was sure of it. He couldn’t let her go.

His head tilted a little to the side as if
considering. “Probably there is some of that.” He smiled a little sheepishly.
“Honor and glory and all that. And a mother who’d smack me upside the head if I
didn’t show proper respect to women.”

She smiled at that, but the air of waiting
still hung between them. He wasn’t off the hook yet.

“Truth is, you intrigue me. I want to see
you again because you’re fun to be with, you’re cute,” he paused to bop her
nose with his finger before going serious again, “and I see some of myself in
you.”

She dropped her pretense. “I’d like to see
you again too, John. Not,” she added quickly, “because I see you as my knight
in shining armor swooping in to rescue me from the dragons of my nightmares,
although,” she raised her shoulders in a gesture of surrender, “having someone
to do that does cross my mind now and again.” Lauren raised the latch of the
door and stepped out. As John came around the front of the car, she completed
her thought.

“I’d like to see you again because you’re
one of the good guys.”

He laughed outright at that. “Then I’d best
not tarnish my reputation, Miss Lauren. Shall I see you to your door?”

“I’d be delighted if you would, Mr.
McAllen.”

She’d put on an excellent Southern drawl
and he couldn’t help but laugh again. At the door to her apartment, he waited
as she unlocked the door. When he heard the door down the hall snick open, he
leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“Shall we give Mrs. Boorman something more
to discuss with the neighbors?”

Lauren stifled a giggle and turned to face
him. “You do have a mean streak, John McAllen.” She smiled coyly. “I like that
in a man.”

“Stop talking, Miss Lauren.”

To be sure she followed his orders, he
covered her lips with his. She was soft and pliant in his arms and for a moment
John regretted his decision to be honorable. When she pressed back, he pulled
her closer but didn’t push his advantage. Releasing her, he let his arms drop.
“‘Til next time?” He pushed open her door.

“‘Til next time,” she answered and floated
inside.

The door shut and John glanced down the
hall and saw the squinting eyes of Mrs. Boorman. He nodded his head and tipped his
imaginary hat before sauntering down the hall, down the stairs and out to his
car. Tonight had been a promising beginning.

Chapter Four

Lauren leaned against the door, still
feeling the touch of his lips on hers. She wanted him. Desperately. So much so
she made a half move to open the door and call him back. Her hand stayed on the
doorknob, though, not turning it as second thoughts set in.

She’d wondered what it would be like to
kiss a man with a goatee and she’d certainly found out. His beard and mustache
tickled a little, but she found it arousing. A man like John McAllen would know
how to use that tickle to great advantage. In the darkness of her apartment,
she smiled wickedly, thinking about how those whiskers would feel if he were to
go down on her.

Dropping her purse on the small table, she
turned to lean against the door. She remembered his arms around her, how
comforted she’d felt, how protected. Tie her up and make love to her? With
those muscles? She didn’t have a chance.

The more she thought about it, the hornier
she got. Maybe she should’ve persuaded him to come in and ravish her. That kiss
certainly held promise. She shook her head as she pushed herself away from the
door. No, she’d done the right thing. They both had. She wanted more from John
McAllen than a one-nighter and she’d certainly gotten the impression he did
too.

A night-light in the bathroom gave her
plenty of light to make her way to the bedroom, her mind still filled with
thoughts of his kiss. Shedding her little black dress, she thought of what it
would be like to have his powerful hands sliding the straps down her arms,
resting on her waist and pulling her toward him.

Her eyes slid to the drawer in the
nightstand. Yes, definitely a night for her little toy. Quickly, she took off
the rest of her clothes and pulled out the vibrator that had become her best
friend over the past few months. About eight inches long and only an inch in
diameter, the motor on this little puppy had proven worth the price she’d paid
for it.

While overseas, a former boyfriend had sent
her a stuffed panda bear as a romantic gift. Lauren hadn’t much cared for the
boyfriend by then, but the panda fit under her shoulder just right when she
slept. A night hadn’t gone by since that she hadn’t slept with that stuffed
animal. Nameless, it had received her tears when she’d been upset, been thrown
against walls when she’d been frustrated, and served as a wonderful pressure
point when she’d needed sexual relief.

Turning the vibe to high, she placed it so
the tip sat right over her clit and almost came right away. She fell onto the
bed, grabbed the panda and shoved it between her legs so it would hold the vibe
in place, then rolled onto her stomach. Perfect.

She thought of John’s arms again and those
incredible shoulders. Her hand wouldn’t even cover his entire shoulder, she
realized. His body, so powerful, so graceful, could cover hers completely. He’d
rein in that power, his touch light and gentle as his hands explored her body,
finding the spots that were ticklish, finding the spots that made her putty in
his hands.

And then? When he’d turned her muscles to
jelly, would he press his advantage? Would he get out the ropes and tie her up
for real? Lauren had had that fantasy before. What woman hadn’t? Of being tied
and taken. All the fun and none of the responsibility.

But John would make her responsible. He’d
want her to submit willingly, she just knew it. The tension between her legs
jumped exponentially. To put herself at his mercy? She imagined the ropes
around her wrists and ankles, his hands roaming across her skin at will, the
vulnerability, his goatee brushing against her skin, his hot breath across her
pussy.