Serenity (28 page)

Her softness was his undoing. “Ren, I have to kiss you now, and I want you to know that’s all I want. I’m not asking for anything else. But God, I need to taste you.”

Ren looked shocked at his words, slowly sucking her lip ring into the corner of her mouth. He closed his eyes and moaned. “Lord, Ren you undo me.” With one step he had Ren in his arms. “I will never intentionally hurt you. We’re screwed up, but we’ll figure it out.”

Ren nodded, then placed her soft lips against his. Slowly, Jolin moved his mouth against hers. Threading his fingers through her hair, he cradled her head and deepened the kiss. Drawing her tongue into his mouth, he sucked on it, twisting his own around hers. The feel of her lip ring was his undoing, the warmth of the stud in her tongue had his dick throbbing, but they weren’t going there. He ran his free hand under her sweatshirt, touching the smoothness of her bare shoulders. Her hands found their way under his T-shirt, pulling it up to slip over his head. They broke their connection only long enough to release the shirt from around him. Her mouth was like heaven. Her scent was intoxicating. He was losing himself in her. And that was why he pulled away. His breathing was labored as he rested his forehead on hers.

“We don’t have to stop,” Ren suggested. “I’m offering. Don’t feel like you’re pressuring me.”

“No,” he croaked. “No.” Jolin smiled as he realized she was as breathless as him. “You feel it too… right? Tell me you feel it.”

“I feel it. I feel completely out of control. I don’t like that feeling.”

“It scares me, too, baby. I don’t want you taken away from me like everything else. My heart is as fragile as yours.”

-oOo-

They spent the rest of the day sprawled on the couch, kissing, and laughing about the better memories of elementary school. After dinner they ended up laying across Jolin’s bed looking at pictures from their third grade class.

“I’m not in any of these.” Ren rolled onto her back, holding a few photos above her head.

“My mom took them so I don’t take any responsibility.” Jolin rolled over, supporting his body over hers. He ducked his head between her arms and rubbed his nose against hers.

“I’ve never had a day like this.” Ren let the photos drop and linked her hands around the back of Jolin’s neck, scraping her fingernails along his hairline.

Jolin closed his eyes and let out a quiet moan.

“Thank you. If I never have another day like this, thank you.” Ren giggled and continued to run her fingers into his cropped hair. “I could make it better…for you.”

Jolin didn’t open his eyes. He lowered his lips to hers and softly kissed her. “No. Thank you, Ren. You saved me from myself, and I will strive every day to make you know how much that means to me and my mom.”

Ren took his bottom lip between her teeth. Jolin’s hips ground into her.

His eyes snapped open, and he quickly climbed off her.

Ren sat up and huffed. “Seriously, Jolin are you going to run away from me everytime I do something you like?”

“If it is pushing my limit on control? Then hell yes.”

She got on her hands and knees and crawled across the bed. “Jolin.”

He turned around and crossed his arms. “I told you. Until we get the screwed up out of our heads, all we do is kiss. Everything else is off limits. I don’t want you thinking I’m using you, and I don’t want to question if you are manipulating me. You really don’t want to give me a blow job. You just feel like I’m getting too close. You want the upper hand for the two seconds it will take me to blow when your lips hit my cock.”

Ren flopped over on her side and laughed. “You’ll take longer than two seconds.”

Jolin crawled over her again and kissed her to stop her laughter. “Baby, just looking at you makes me want to come. I don’t stand a chance.”

“In a crude sort of way, that’s sweet.”

“It was meant to be sweet.” Jolin pressed a hard kiss to her mouth and climbed off the bed.

He settled in his chair, putting his feet up on the desk. “Have you heard from Quill?”

“I texted him yesterday, but haven’t looked at my phone again. He has a girl he stays with. He was only at the house the other night because he was picking up some stuff. Probably stealing pot off my mom. He doesn’t stay often.”

“You can’t smoke pot in the house.”

“I don’t even have pot. God, Jolin, give me a break.”

“Just saying. You smoked it the last time you were here.”

“Because I was flipping out about why I was here. I needed to relax, or I wouldn’t have been able to do it.”

“I thought you craved the control?”

“Not with you. I never had control when it came to you. Still don’t.” She winked.

“Yeah I kind of struggle with that, too.” He winked back.

“So you seriously want to walk into school tomorrow as a couple?” Ren nervously picked at the blanket on his bed.

Jolin swirled in a circle on his chair. “One hundred percent. I’ll drive tomorrow so if things get touchy we can bail.”

“Yeah, like your girlfriend trying to jump me.”

“They’re cheerleaders not MMA fighters. They aren’t going to jump you.”

Ren snorted.

“Did they say they were going to jump you?” Jolin stopped spinning in his chair and rested his elbows on his knees.

Ren looked up, then pointed to the bruise along her jaw. The one he had kissed.

“No fucking way!” Jolin jumped up. “Shit, Ren, hardly any of your injuries actually happened last night. What are you, the town punching bag?”

Ren shrunk back.

He stopped his rant and noticed Ren’s posture. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“They cornered me at the party. One of them hit me.”

“You going to tell me who?”

“Nope. Doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t want them hurting you.” Jolin sat beside her on the bed. “I don’t want you hurting you.”

Ren snorted a sarcastic laugh.

“I’m serious.” He took her bandaged arm in his hand. “No more of this. No more hurting yourself. If you feel angry or frustrated come to me or my mom, but don’t take it out on yourself.”

“When did you get your PhD in counseling?” Ren teased.

“I’m serious. I don’t want to see this anymore.”

“It isn’t that easy, and it isn’t something I can promise.”

Jolin threaded his fingers through hers. “They were worried after the accident. I had to talk to a guy at the hospital before they let me out. I was on some pills for depression for a week or so, and then I tossed them. Made me feel numb. I’d rather feel crappy than nothing.”

“Sometimes I feel too much, and I have to let it out.” Ren sniffed.

“Please try not to do it anymore.”

Ren gave him a sad smile. “I can’t promise that.”

Serenity

Wednesday, October 29

6:30 a.m.

Jolin’s plan sucked.

Ren dressed in her normal attire. Feeling much more like herself after a day in sweatpants and no makeup. When she emerged from the bedroom, Jolin hadn’t looked overly happy. He seemed to prefer her more subdued.

“I’m wearing pants.” She held her hands out to her side.

“I didn’t say anything,” Jolin countered.

“You don’t have to. You don’t like the way I dress.”

“I never said that.”

“You said I dressed inappropriate.” She put her hands on her hips. The shorter chunk of hair fell forward into her eyes.

Jolin stepped toward her and tried to put it behind her ear. It was too short to stay.

“My mom wanted me to get rid of the color. I didn’t, so she decided she should cut it off,” Ren explained.

He ran his fingers through the light curls she had. “I don’t dislike how you dress. I just prefer the softer Ren to this image you hide behind.”

Ren ran her hand down his letterman jacket. “Don’t you think you hide behind your clothes, too?”

Jolin shrugged out of his jacket. “I guess I do. Not anymore.”

“You can still wear it. I was just saying.”

“No, you’re right. I don’t need this to try and prove I’m still one of the crowd. I can hack it without my armor.” He walked to his closet and grabbed a hooded sweatshirt, pulling it over his head.

“It isn’t like I can just undress and go to school. This is all I own.” Ren held her hands out to her sides.

“I wasn’t implying you had to change. I was just making a point for myself.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“Fine,” he smiled.

“Fine,” she repeated.

“Ready?” He smiled.

“No.”

“Well we’re going anyway. C’mon.” Jolin grabbed his bag and headed out the door. Ren pulled her messengers bag over her head and followed.

Jolin may not like her look, but the makeup did a good job of covering the bruises. Her ever present long sleeves covered her latest injury and everything else was hidden under her clothes. The day would have been like every other except Jolin expected to waltz through the front doors with her hand in his. It wasn’t going to end well.

-oOo-

Jolin parked in his spot near the front of the parking lot and turned off the engine. “Here goes nothing.”

Ren looked over at him and gave him a sad smile. “Why don’t you go in first? I’ll see you in bio.”

“I told you we were going in together. I want people to know you’re with me.”

“What are you trying to prove?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why does it even matter?” Ren argued.

“I don’t know, it just does.”

Ren leaned her head back on headrest. “Jolin. A lot went on after the party. But in these people’s lives, all they know is I showed up with Ty and you were looking for Elizabeth. It will look really weird if we all of a sudden are skipping into the school together.”

“I don’t want to let them dictate what I can and cannot do anymore. Who cares if they know what they
think
was going on? I want to be with you.”

“As a fuck you to Brock and Elizabeth?”

Jolin didn’t say anything at first, and Ren thought she hit the nail on the head. He was using her as a way to flip off everyone in the school. It hurt to think that’s what he wanted, but she’d been used for a lot worse. “It’s okay. I’m all for sticking it to the establishment.”

Jolin dropped his head onto the steering wheel.

“We’re going to be late,” Ren finally said.

“I thought you understood,” Jolin mumbled.

“I do.” Ren opened the door and stuck a leg out. “I’ve been asked to do a lot worse. You gave me a place to stay. I owe you.”

Jolin grabbed her arm. “You don’t get shit.”

Ren looked at where his hand sat. “You’re hurting me,” she whispered.

Jolin lightened his grip but didn’t let her go. Slowly, he moved across the seat. “I like you, Ren.” His breath made the hairs around her face move. “I really like you. This isn’t about anyone but us. I want to walk in the school with you because
I
want to. Not because of anything else. It’s just me and you.” He leaned in and took her mouth with his. A slow and tender kiss that brought tears to her eyes.

“You and me?” she asked.

“Yep.” Jolin rested his forehead against hers. “You and me.”

“Okay.”

By the time they got out of the car most of the students had moved from the parking lot into the hallway. Jolin grabbed her hand, threaded his fingers through hers, kissing their fists before pulling her after him. “C’mon, we’re gonna do this.” It only took one step into the crowded hall to be reminded it was homecoming week. Streamers hung from the ceilings, banners announcing the candidates lined the wall space above the lockers.

“Oh God,” moaned Ren.

“Holy shit,” muttered Jolin.

Ren turned. Jolin’s gaze was glued to a sign hanging above the line of lockers that housed the football players, a huge orange sign with black lettering announcing Jolin as a favorite for Senior Homecoming King. A smaller sign was beside it with Brock’s name.

Jolin’s hand went slack. Ren searched his face. She’d lost him before first period. She pulled her fingers from his without a single complaint. Her heart sank a little. Someone nominated him and he was back on top. Ren was easily shoved to the side as the team encircled him and patted him on the back. Pushed out of the celebratory crowd, she headed off to biology.

Jolin

Wednesday, October 29

7:00 a.m.

The last thing he expected when they walked through the door of the school was to see his name larger than life for Homecoming King. He was in shock…that was all. But Ren took his mood as one of indifference to her. He had to find her. He needed to explain this didn’t change anything. But Elizabeth intercepted him… and he’d lost her.

“Jolin,” Elizabeth squealed. “Isn’t it great? We both got nominated!” Her perky ponytail swung back and forth.

Jolin pushed her aside, looking through the crowd for Ren.

“Joli?” Elizabeth grabbed his arm.

Jolin shrugged her off again. “We aren’t together, Lizzie.”

“Jolin, don’t be like that. That was before. Obviously the school is behind you.”

He turned on her. “It doesn’t matter. I told you. I’m done.”

Elizabeth stopped her bouncing and frowned at him. “We aren’t done until I say we are.”

“You don’t have that kind of power. This is a fucking high school, Liz. Not a monarchy. Get a life.” Jolin pushed past the crowd and headed down the hall to find Ren.

“Mr. Daniel.” The principal peeked his head out of the office.

Jolin stopped and looked at the ceiling. This day was not going as he planned.

“Mr. Daniel, we need to have you and Elizabeth in the office with the other nominees so we can set the ground rules for the campaign.”

“I’m not really interested in campaigning.”

The principal looked confused. He probably couldn’t understand how anyone wouldn’t want to be a Homecoming King. But Jolin had bigger things to worry about.

“Well, someone obviously thinks you’re worthy of the nomination, so you need to get in here and get with the program.”

Jolin groaned, looked over his shoulder in one last attempt at finding Ren then followed the principal into the office. As soon as Elizabeth saw where he was headed, she plastered herself to his side and followed.

“I think you have a great chance at winning,” she chattered after they sat around a big conference table. “I guess the sympathy vote is working for you.”