Sensual Stranger (25 page)

Too quickly, his remembered voice filled her mind.

No one will believe you. You’re just a stupid kid. I’m a
decorated cop.

Frustration and rage stole Toni’s breath. She imagined Zach
calling Joe, with the man claiming she’d run from home for no good reason. How
she’d been trouble from the start. How he’d tried to help her, but she wouldn’t
listen. She wouldn’t do as he’d asked.

“Hey,” Yacobi said, his voice sounding confused. “You okay?”

She blinked back tears, refusing to cry. Never again would
Joe Bauchmann make her cry. Nor would Zach. What she’d hoped was his growing
affection for her last night, his insatiable need to have her close, proved to
be nothing more than his acceptance of what she was, what Joe had probably told
him. That she didn’t deserve respect.

“Hey,” Yacobi said again.

“I’m fine,” she answered, her voice sounding dead. She
pushed away from the desk. “I can’t find your account. I’ll have to ask Angel
to look for it.”

Rounding the desk, she started for the door, then changed
direction and went to the board that held customer keys. Selecting the ones for
the Lincoln, where Zach had taken her repeatedly last night, she went into the
garage area and spoke to Angel.

“I can’t get into the accounts. You’ll have to help Yacobi.”

“Where you going?” Robbie asked.

Toni slung her saddlebag into the front seat of the Lincoln.
“I’m taking it for a test drive.”

“You’re through with it already?” Angel asked.

She continued to lie. “Yep.” Slamming the door, she started
the motor and pulled out of the garage, driving away quickly, the first move
back to her old life.

One she should have never left.

Back from his errand, Zach entered his office and nodded to
Angel who sat behind his desk.

The younger man pushed out of the chair. “Yacobi came back.
He claims there’s still trouble with the air-conditioning. We’re gonna take a
look at it.”

“Good.” Sidestepping Angel, Zach went behind his desk and
sat. “Everything go okay while I was gone?”

“Only Yacobi came in.”

He nodded, closing the man’s account on the screen. In its
place, Anunciata’s report jumped up.

“Toni tried to help him,” Angel said, “but she couldn’t find
his account on your computer.”

The skin on the back of Zach’s neck crawled, his flesh
growing cold as blood drained from his face. Eyes darting to Angel, he asked,
“Toni was on my computer this morning?”

“Yeah. I gave her the password to log in.” An odd look swept
across his features. “That was all right, wasn’t it?”

Zach tried to swallow, but could not. His thoughts raced.
Had he turned off his computer last night or had he stupidly left it on with
the report still opened? He couldn’t recall.

Had Toni seen the damn thing? Or had Angel brought it up?

“Did you have trouble finding Yacobi’s account?” Zach asked.

Angel shook his head. “Not at all. Why?”

“I had some personal papers on the computer, and—”

“Oh hey, I didn’t read nothing but the account.” Angel held
up his hands. “After Toni left, I saw she had some kind of document on the
screen, but I didn’t read—”

“What’s she doing?” Zach stood so quickly pain shot up his
leg. It echoed in his voice, “Where is she?”

Angel rubbed the top of his shaved head. He looked worried.
“She took the Lincoln for a test drive.”

“How long ago?”

“I don’t know. Maybe ten minutes or— Hey,” he called out as
Zach hurried from the office. “What’s wrong?”

Chapter Fifteen

Zach slammed the heel of his hand against his pickup’s
steering wheel. “You fucking idiot.” How could he have been so stupid and
careless? Jaw clenched, he drove as fast as he dared to his house, figuring
that’s where Toni had headed.

I’m not a thief,
she’d said.

After seeing Anunciata’s report, she’d probably figured he
hadn’t believed her and that’s why he’d hired an investigator. Once she grabbed
her things from the guest bedroom, he suspected she’d head to the main road and
hitch a ride to god-knows-where. She didn’t even have her damn cycle. She might
disappear into one of the thousands of small towns in this country. He might
never see her again.

“Fuck.” Eyes sweeping the road, Zach searched for her
standing on the shoulder, thumb out, her stance all sass because she had
nothing else.

His chest collapsed with a sigh when he didn’t see her. His
shoulders began to relax, until he considered someone might have already picked
her up.

Too fast, he took the turn leading to his place. His Ram
fishtailed. What he’d picked up for her earlier bounced in the vehicle’s bed.

Fighting for a full breath, Zach stared at the Lincoln
parked near the front porch. He prayed she was still inside the house.

Teeth gritted against his protesting muscles, he took the
stairs two at a time, hurrying down the hall, stopping at her door.

His chest ached at what he saw.

She’d changed into her black tank top and leather pants, her
overalls tossed to the side on the bedroom floor. Profile to him, tears dripped
from her chin as she stuffed her things, so few and meager, into the saddlebag.

Zach’s heart tore a little more. He stepped closer, the
floor groaning beneath his weight.

She didn’t look up. The tremor in her voice, her words said
it all. “I wasn’t planning to steal the Lincoln.” Clearing her throat, she
continued, her voice still gravelly. “The keys are on the dressing table, along
with cash for the gas I used. I’m not a thief.”

“Toni.”

She went to the dressing table, grabbing the keys and
crumpled bills. Bringing them to him, she avoided his gaze. “Here. Take it.”

“I didn’t think you’d stolen the car.”

Inhaling deeply, she insisted, “Just take it.”

“No.”

Returning to the bed, she dropped the cash and keys on the
mattress. “I’ll be out of here in a sec.”

Zach’s heart beat out of control. His throat ached from
unbearable sorrow, making his voice rough. “You don’t have to go. Please,
listen to me. I’ve never had any doubt about your honesty.
Never.
I only
hired an investigator because I wanted to know about you, where you came from,
your people, why you ended up without anyone except the Starrs. You wouldn’t
tell me anything about yourself.”

She stuffed another tank top into the saddlebag. Breathing
hard, tears slipping down her face, she spoke in a halting voice, “Maybe that’s
because I didn’t want you to know.”

“I understand that…at least I do now.”

Her shoulders sagged. Her voice sounded so small. “Because you
talked to Joe? Because he told you about me?”

“Toni.” Zach edged closer, wanting to touch her, afraid to
try. “I didn’t speak to him.”

Her head jerked up, a look of surprise on her face. Her eyes
touched his for a second before she glanced away.

“Even if I had,” Zach murmured, “I wouldn’t have believed
anything he said.”

The tank top she held slipped from her fingers. Her
shoulders shook with a quiet sob.

Zach went to her. Just as quickly, Toni backed away from his
touch. “Don’t.” Her voice shook with sadness. “No matter what the investigator
found out or what Joe would have said, you have no idea who I am.”

Bringing back his hands, Zach spoke in his gentlest voice.
“I knew enough even before I got the report. You’re a remarkable woman. One of
the finest I’ve ever known.”

Toni’s chest heaved with her ragged breaths. She shook her
head, clearly not believing him.

Zach spoke quickly, trying to reason, desperate to make her
understand. “I was worried about you not having any money or anyone to help.
Weeks ago I’d gone online and found pictures of you with Belle and Lucky. Given
the dates on the pictures, I knew you were still a kid when you hooked up with
them after you ran away from home, and—”

She interrupted in a cry. “I didn’t run away, Zach. I wanted
to stay more than anything. But my mother told me I had to leave. She had a
choice between Joe and me. She chose him.”

The moment the words left Toni’s mouth, she saw disbelief
flaring in Zach’s eyes.

His voice sounded gritty, confused. “You didn’t run away?
Bauchmann didn’t—” He stopped abruptly, his gaze turning inward. “I read—that
is, I thought—” Halting again, he looked at her, horror in his eyes. “You were
told to leave your home when you were only a kid?”

Toni swallowed. Memories returned from that horrible day,
the anger, then indifference on her mother’s face.

“How could she have done that?” Zach asked, pain lacing his
voice.

Fresh tears filled Toni’s eyes. Her mouth trembled. “I don’t
blame her.”

He stared as though she should.

“You don’t understand,” Toni said, trying to explain. “She’d
had it tough growing up in foster care. By the time she was eighteen, she’d
lived in twenty different homes. It made her afraid to share anyone’s love.
When my father was still alive, she wanted him all to herself. She saw me as
competition, not her daughter.”

Zach looked ill. “Oh my god.”

“It wasn’t all bad,” Toni blurted. “My dad was a good guy.
Whenever my mom was on trips with her friends, he’d do stuff with me…fishing,
camping, sports events. Stuff my mom didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to do it
either,” she admitted, her voice catching, making her next words jump. “I never
even liked any of that junk, but it was my only chance to be with him.”

“I’m so sorry,” Zach said, his voice soft.

Her lower lip trembled. “I still miss him.” Barely contained
anguish rasped her voice. “When he passed, my mom fell apart even more than I
did. She’d always needed someone to take care of her, so I promised that I
would.”

“You were only a kid.”

Toni wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands, then stared
at her unpolished nails. Curling her fingers into fists, she hid them and spoke
in a barely audible voice. “I didn’t mind. I would have done anything for her,
just so she’d love me. And she started to for a little while.” Her shoulders
shook as she suppressed a sob, her voice shaking with it. “We did things
together. We talked. She depended upon me for almost a year. And then she met
Joe.”

With his name, Toni took a step back, instinctively trying
to distance herself from what had happened. Ruthlessly, it remained, hounding
her.

“What happened?” Zach asked.

She shook her head, having said too much already, details
only Belle and Lucky knew. Returning to the bed, she resumed packing so she
could head for the next town, hopefully another job, then get her bike out of
impound and leave for the circuit.

Zach crossed the room to her. He eased the tank top from her
hands. “What happened?” he repeated, his voice low, his anger barely
controlled. “What did he do to you?”

A shiver tore through her. She moved away from him. Arms
crossed over her chest, Toni held her elbows in her palms to keep from shaking.
“Nothing.” Her voice wobbled. “I wouldn’t let him.”

Zach reduced the distance between them. Again, Toni backed
away. “It’s over,” she said, trying to make her voice light. “Completely
forgotten.”

“It’s killing you. It stole your adolescence and future.”

She shook her head to refute it, even as tears streamed down
her face. “I’m okay. I can take care of myself.”

“Why should you have to?”

Toni turned her face away.

Zach begged, “Talk to me, please. Tell me how I can help.”

“You can’t. It’s too late. He—” She stopped, struggling for
breath.

“What?” Zach murmured.

Toni wanted to run, but couldn’t move. Years of uncertainty,
loneliness and loss came crashing down, the cockiness she’d tried so hard to
maintain fading like smoke, leaving her too young again, vulnerable. In a small
voice, she said, “When he came into our lives nothing was ever the same.” She
looked at Zach, then away, shamed by the past.

“It’s okay,” Zach said.

Toni shook her head. She hadn’t wanted him to know any of
this. It was easier for her to lie, evade, pretend she was something she hadn’t
been for a very long time. Loved. Cherished.

Now, it was too late. The investigator had stripped away the
last of Toni’s pride, leaving her with nothing but the truth. Swiping tears
from her eyes, she said, “I don’t want you thinking less of me.”

Zach’s boots slapped the floor as he went to her. “I won’t.
I couldn’t.”

“You don’t know what happened,” she said, her voice weary.
“You have no idea what kind of man Joe is. At first, he was super nice, taking
an interest in my school activities. He asked me to watch sports with him like
I did with my dad. He said one day we could go camping, and—”

Her words stopped on a wrenching sob at a time she’d never
wanted to revisit. Uncrossing her arms, she held up her hand to keep Zach from
touching her. She couldn’t risk his comfort. It was too precious. Having his
compassion for a few moments more only to lose it would make things that much
harder.

Zach lowered his hands, his fingers tightening into fists.
“What happened? What did he do?”

Toni’s shoulders trembled. “He started to come around the
house when my mom was out. At first, I didn’t think it was weird. He just
talked about my schoolwork, helping me with math and science.”

Wrapping her arms back around herself, she spoke even
faster. “Then one night when my mom was at her weekly book club, he showed up.
I was telling him about a pop quiz I’d passed. He acted like it was the best
news he’d ever heard, then he slipped his arm around my waist and hugged me. I
froze. I didn’t want him touching me, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings
either. I was afraid he’d tell my mom and she’d be angry with me. Before I knew
what was happening, he started kissing me and feeling me up.”