Send Me a Sign (10 page)

I was fifteen minutes late because I sat in my car and flipped through the radio for a song sign. The distance between my friends and me stretched from the month behind me to the parking lot in front of me. I should’ve been running through the diner’s door, but the radio was being uncooperative and I was glued to my seat. One hand clenched my necklace, the other jabbed at the Scan button: an unintelligible rap, a commercial for laser eye surgery, a schmaltzy long-distance dedication. And then my sign: No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak” on one of Mom’s easy-listening stations.

The lyrics taunted me, sucking the oxygen from my lungs and making my hand shake as it reached for the radio’s Off button. The A/C felt too cold, the car too small. I gritted my teeth and opened the door.

Everyone was already seated in a corner booth. It was déjà vu of our last meeting, only they were the same and I wasn’t.

The song was a sign, and my friends’ appearances reinforced it; they looked … healthy. After a month of seeing hospital-pale patients, it hurt to take in Hillary’s toasted-almond tan, Ally’s new blonder-blond highlights, and the sunburn balanced
across the bridge of her nose. Even fair-skinned Lauren was freckled and pink-cheeked.

Then Ryan stood up and my breath caught. His hair was bleached to the color of sunlit sand. His blue eyes glowed from within the faint outline of his Oakley’s tan line. A jolt passed through his hand squeezing mine before it was ripped away by Hil’s fierce hug.

“Miss me?” Her grip revealed her feelings.

Before I could answer, Ally chimed in, “Mia! You’re never allowed to go away for that long again.”

Hil’s hug and musky perfume were replaced by Ally’s grapefruit lotion, then Lauren’s vanilla body splash. But all of these were erased when Ryan wrapped me in his arms—smelling of beach, sunshine, and … him. He swung my feet off the floor, twirled me once, then set me down. Casual, like he did so every day, he pressed his lips to my cheek and whispered the words I’d been thinking, “I forgot how good you smell.”

Chris nodded his greeting from the booth, where Lauren was climbing across his lap to reclaim her Diet Coke. He was cute, but cute compared to Ryan’s sexy. He smirked at Ryan’s display and my shocked face. “Hey, Mia. Someone’s either really horny or he missed you.”

I’m sure Hil smacked him, but I was dizzily being tugged away from Ryan so Ally could grab a second hug before pulling me down into the booth beside her.

“What’d you do to your hair?” Lauren asked.

I forced a quick laugh. “I tried to get it cut and highlighted in Connecticut. Oops.”

“Why? It was so long and gorgeous,” Hil said. “You’re supposed to call me before you make any big beauty decisions, remember? We pinky-promised after I dyed my hair with Jell-O in eighth grade.”

I laughed. “I totally forgot about that. Your head smelled like lime for a week.”

She grinned at me. “It wasn’t my smartest decision—especially since I used my mom’s good towels. Oh, before I forget, Cobb salad with fat-free Italian on the side, right? That’s what I ordered you, so if you want something different, you need to grab the waitress.”

“Actually, I kinda want a cheesesteak. You can’t get a good one in Connecticut.” I craved real, nonhospital food.

“Really?” Lauren asked. “But that’s so fat—er, fried.”

“And a vanilla milkshake.” After a month of vomiting, I wasn’t worried about calories.

“I’ll go tell the waitress,” Ryan offered, slipping out of the booth.

Hil was still studying me. “Where are the highlights?”

“I don’t see any either,” Lauren agreed, kneeling up on the booth and tipping her head to examine me like a lab specimen.

“It didn’t take—my hair had a weird reaction and burned. It was a mess.”

“Oh my God!” Ally squeezed my arm in sympathy. “I’m never getting my hair cut in Connecticut! Poor you.”

“It’ll grow back.” Turning to Lauren and Hil I added, “It’s just hair.”

“I’d kill for your blond.” Hil blew her perfect brown bangs
out of her eyes and reached out to take a lock of my hair. I scooted away, bumping into Ryan, who was sitting back down.

“If you want to sit in my lap, all you have to do is ask.” He smiled but I was too overwhelmed to echo it or joke.

“How’s your pops doing?” Ally asked. “And are you okay? That must’ve been so hard!”

“He’s doing great. Really, really well. Thanks.”

Hil continued her critique. “You don’t look like our Summer Girl! Didn’t your grandparents let you out in the sun? And I thought Lauren was pale.”

I swallowed and tried to look casual, but Hil was circling. She could tell something was off—we’d been close for far too long for her not to pick up on whatever vibe I was projecting—and I knew she wouldn’t rest until she’d figured it out.

“I’m a redhead. You know I don’t tan, I burn and freckle,” Lauren grumbled.

Ryan picked up my arm and compared it to his own. “You’ve got some serious catching up to do.” He slipped both our hands under the table and didn’t let go.

I forced myself to join in the laughter and smile at the Casper and albino jokes. So many lies needed to be remembered, topics avoided, questions dodged. Ryan and I didn’t usually hold hands. Or we hadn’t before. My palm sweated and I was sure he felt my pulse pounding.

“Hey, neighbor. Didn’t know you were back. Hi, guys.” Gyver’s deep voice cut across the good-natured criticism. My racing heart slowed as he approached.

Hillary batted her eyelashes and Lauren smiled supersonically. Gyver didn’t look at them.

“Hey.” My tension melted. I poked Ryan and he stood to let me out of the booth.

Ryan gave Gyver a stiff nod.

I launched myself into his hug. “How are you? It’s good to see you.” Stepping out of his arms was hard, but I’d stayed there a beat too long already. I released him but stood close, breathing in his familiar safety.

Gyver picked up the conversation. “How was Connecticut? You cut your hair—it looks good.”

“Are you blind? They destroyed her hair,” Hillary growled. Her flirty smile was gone.

“I like it.” He smiled at me without acknowledging Hil. Lauren leaned forward in a way that showed too much of her lace bra and cleavage.

“Thanks.” I meant it to sound casual, but my desperation and appreciation snuck into the word. Out of habit and fear, I nearly laced my fingers through his, then overreacted and jerked my hand away.

“I like it too.” Ryan’s words and arms wrapped around me at the same time. He pulled me back into the booth, onto his lap. “Now that I’m used to it, I like it a lot.”

Gyver’s eyebrows went up. I shrugged off Ryan’s arms so I could slide onto the bench beside him. Hil looked puzzled and annoyed. She’d always been dangerously observant. And opinionated.

I moved down to create more room between Ryan and me. “It was good to see you, Gyver. I guess I’ll see you around.”

The others gave halfhearted good-byes, but Gyver focused only on me. “Welcome back.”

He was barely out of hearing when Hillary said, “I get that you guys were sandbox pals, but I don’t see why you still hang out with him.” Her eyes traced a blatant path between me, Gyver, and Ryan.

“Why wouldn’t I? Am I supposed to reject him because he rejected you?” I challenged. Ally’s mouth was a perfect lip-glossed
O
and Lauren’s eyebrows were halfway up her forehead. “I mean, clearly he has bad taste, but he’s still my friend.”

Hil smiled icily. “I only asked him out because you were always going on and on about him, but he’s such a loner.”

“He’s not a loner, he’s here with …” I looked up to see who he
was
here with and the rest of the sentence died in my throat.

The girl was wearing a light-green sundress. It was the type of thing I’d had to retire to the back of my closet because the straps would showcase my port and bony shoulders and the color would make my pale skin look gray. She, of course, looked adorable. She was smiling and saying something that made him laugh. She was leaning toward him. She was touching his arm.

“Who is that?” asked Lauren.

“Meagan something.” I barely knew her. I didn’t know Gyver did. Well enough to have lunch, just the two of them. Then again, I didn’t know how he’d spent his nights. Except for gigs and his work at the record store, we hadn’t talked about
how he’d spent the nonhospital part of his summer or with whom he’d spent it.

“She’s a no one,” Hil said, looking at me with concern. “
No one
, Mia.”

I went into autopilot protective mode. Defending Gyver was what I did. “She’s in our AP classes. And he’s got his band and plenty of other friends—ask anyone who knows him and they’ll tell you he’s great.”

Hil grinned and waved a dismissive hand. “But those classes are full of nerd types. I wasn’t counting them.”

“Nerd types? Thanks, Hil.” I was probably being too defensive, and aggressively so, but after all he’d put up with this summer, I wasn’t going to shrug this off or let Hil use him to create drama with Ryan. And why was that girl eating one of Gyver’s fries? If she wanted some, she should’ve ordered her own.

“Mia? Seriously? You know I’m kidding.” Hil reached across the table and poked my arm. I reluctantly looked away from Gyver and Meagan and at Hil’s confused expression. “Geez, one month away and you lose your sense of humor. As long as Mac ’n’ Cheese leaves me alone, I won’t bother him.”

Lauren glanced across the diner. “What a waste. He’s OMG hot, don’t you think?”

Ryan scoffed, “Did his shirt say pixies? Like, little fairy things?” He shifted his arm to the back of the booth and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“We’re friends. I don’t think of him that way.” My voice was too loud. I was being too sensitive. I forced myself to shrug and added, “By the way, The Pixies is a band.”

Ryan frowned. “What kind of band would name themselves after fairies?”

“As fascinating as this conversation is, here comes our food,” Chris said.

Hil poked me again. “Want my cucumber?”

They were my favorite veggie, and she knew it. This was Hil’s version of a peace offering. I nodded and she dropped the slices on my plate, snagging a fry as she did so. I laughed and she did too.

Ryan passed the ketchup across the booth to Chris, and I looked over their arms to Gyver’s table. He faced me and caught my gaze. Cocking an eyebrow in a look that was half-quizzical and half-comical, he watched for my reaction. I smiled and gave him a discreet nod; he smiled back and waited for me to look away.

When I did, Hillary was watching me, her expression part puzzled and part intrigued.

Chapter 10

I tore into my sandwich, wanting this reunion lunch over.

“Didn’t they feed you in Connecticut?” Lauren joked.

I swallowed a sip of milkshake. “I haven’t eaten anything with a taste all month.”

“Old-people food—yuck!” Hil dipped the tines of her fork in fat-free dressing and speared a piece of lettuce.

“Help yourself to my fries too.” Lauren pushed her plate toward me. “The last thing my butt needs is an excuse to get bigger.”

Chris looked up from his cheeseburger. “Your summer really blew. You had to live with old people, your hair got fried, you’re practically albino, and they didn’t feed you. Sucks to be you, huh?”

“And she missed cheer camp!” Ally added.

“But I’m back now,” I chimed in, twirling a finger in my necklace chain and maintaining my smile with an effort.

“We’re not letting you out of our sight for the rest of the summer,” said Hil.

“Tomorrow we’ll do a pool day. Magazines, drinks, and lots of gossip,” Ally soothed.

“Sounds perfect,” I said. She described a typical day from any other summer.

“We’ll catch you up on the choreography you missed at camp, so you’re not clueless during tryouts,” added Hil.

“You can have her tomorrow, but she’s mine tonight.” Ryan stood and offered his hand. “Ready, Mia?”

Ally gave a high-pitched squeak and smiled at Lauren. Chris groaned and rolled his eyes.

Hillary stood up too. “Wait! What? I thought we’d sleep over my house tonight.”

“Sorry. I made plans with Ryan.”

“But you haven’t seen us in a month!” Hil glared at Ryan’s hand on mine. “I can’t think of a
single
reason you’d choose him over us.”

I’d noticed her watching Ryan watch me and knew exactly what her emphasis referred to. “I promise I’ll see you first thing tomorrow.” My eyes pled with her to let it go.

She did, with a reluctant, “If it wasn’t August and you weren’t Summer Girl …”

“Relax, Hil. I go back to the shore tomorrow. It’s one night,” Ryan said.

Chris grinned and leaned toward Hil. “I’ll sleep over.”

Hil sneered, “You wish,” and hid her smile behind a sip of Diet Coke.

I hugged them all. “It’s so good to see you guys. I can’t wait till tomorrow.”

I followed Ryan across the restaurant, catching Gyver’s eye as I passed. He nodded once and I nodded back, fighting an urge to interrupt his lunch so I could hug him too. I’d gotten used to seeing him every day; it’d be hard to readjust to the small doses we saw of each other in normal life. I needed to remember I wasn’t usually the central person in his life, and he shouldn’t be in mine.

Ryan was holding the door open for me. “Want one?” he asked, holding up one of the chocolate mint candies from the dish by the register.

“Sure.”

Lauren always had a handful of these in her purse. “Kissing mints,” she called them.

Kissing was exactly what I needed right now. Kissing Ryan—whose fingers were warm and strong around mine when he passed me the green-and-brown mint. Whose smile was an invitation.

I smiled back.