Seized (Hostage Rescue Team Series, #7) (28 page)

Wira’s face just before he pistol whipped her. The man he’d killed in cold blood. The father and children’s faces when Dwi forced them away from the lifeboat. The teenage boy who’d plunged into the water and probably died of hypothermia before he reached the Coast Guard ship.

She rolled to the side and conjured up an image of Sawyer to focus on instead. She wanted to see him so badly, needed to feel his arms around her. More than anyone except for Ethan, he would understand what tonight had been like for her. He knew what it was like to face gunfire and the instinct to flee, to survive.

He would know all about mental trauma and survivor’s guilt.

“Miss Cruz?”

She rolled over and looked up at the soldier standing beside her cot. “Yes?”

“Your brother’s here and is asking to see you.”

Ethan? She gasped and jackknifed into a sitting position, searched for him. Then she saw him, winding his way toward them, dressed in his fatigues, a huge smile breaking over his face when he saw them.

She reached out and batted her mom’s shoulder. “Mom! Ethan’s here.”

Her mom sat up instantly and gasped when she spotted her son. “
¡Wepa!
”she cried.

They both rushed to him. Carmela flung her arms around his neck and closed her eyes, hugging tight while their mom clung to his waist. His big arms enfolded them and for a moment he didn’t say anything.

She lifted her head to search his eyes. “When did you get here?”

“Just now. They would still have us in a debriefing if we hadn’t insisted on coming here to find you guys.”

“We? You mean your team? Were you guys called in for this?”

He nodded. “We were on the ship.”

Oh, God, and she hadn’t even known. She stepped back, still holding onto his shoulders, and scanned the length of him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. You?”

“Little worse for wear, but yeah, I’m okay. And what about Sawyer?”

“Like you. A little worse for wear,” he said, his gaze shifting to the right, “but otherwise okay.”

Carmela automatically followed his gaze over to the door. Sawyer was standing there, looking around, his arm in a sling.

Without even thinking she gasped and tore away from her brother, shouting Sawyer’s name as she raced toward him.

****

“S
awyer!”

He whipped his head around, saw her running toward him and something in his heart cracked wide open. Sheer relief almost dropped him to his knees where he stood. Instantly he teared up. His legs ate up the distance between them, and then she was in his arms. Or arm, to be exact.

He banded his left arm around her back and lifted her off the ground, burying his face in her hair. “God, Carm,” he choked out, squeezing her probably too hard but he couldn’t help himself, all too aware of how close he’d come to losing her tonight.

She clung to him fiercely, her arms trembling with the force. “Don’t let go,” she whispered.

Swallowing hard past the thickness in his throat, he promised, “I won’t.”
Not ever
, he vowed to himself.
Not ever again.
He’d been so stupid in holding back before. Life was too unpredictable, could be cut short in an instant and he knew that better than most. His feelings for Carmela eclipsed what he’d felt for any other woman, even Trina.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, just holding on to one another. Finally she lifted her head from his neck and looked up into his eyes as one of her hands gently touched the sling holding his arm across his chest. “You’re hurt. Were you...did they shoot you?”

“No, just wrecked something in the joint when we were being extracted. Was only a matter of time, I guess.” Tendons for sure, but maybe ligaments and the labrum, Schroder had figured. He now had bursitis because of it, but they wouldn’t know how bad the damage to the joint was until he could get a CT scan or MRI when they got back to Quantico. It hurt like a bitch but somehow the pain was less now that he was holding her.

Not that he really gave a shit about his shoulder at the moment.

He set her down and brushed the fingers of his left hand over the side of her cheek, which was wet with tears, her beautiful golden brown eyes brimming with them. And she had a few stitches in her scalp. “You okay?”

“I am now,” she murmured, settling back against him and laying her cheek on his chest. “I didn’t even know you guys were on board until Ethan told me.”

“They flew us up here with the ST6 guys as soon as the news broke.” He kissed the top of her head, careful to avoid her cut and ran his hand up and down her back. She felt so tiny and delicate in his embrace.

“It was a nightmare. I was there through the whole thing but I can’t even believe it really happened.” She shivered.

He held her closer. “Shock,” he murmured into her hair. But yeah, he knew what a nightmare it had been. It was going to be a long while before he shook this one off. He wanted so badly to tell her he loved her but he wanted to do it when she wasn’t overwhelmed by the trauma of the attack and everything that had happened.

“I can’t believe you’re really here,” she said with a shaky smile.

He smiled in turn and bent his head to cover her lips with his. Her hands linked around the back of his neck. They kissed slowly, gently, a gesture of claiming but also one of comfort and reassurance.

After a minute she drew back and wiped at her damp cheeks. “So what happens from here?”

“They’re going to bus you to a hotel for the night. Once the FBI takes everyone’s information and statements down they’ll make arrangements for you to fly back to Seattle and then home. The cruise line is covering the cost.”

She snorted. “I should freaking hope so.” Boy, was she going to write the most heated, negative review in the history of reviews when she got home. “What about you guys?”

“We’ll be here for the night in meetings, maybe part of tomorrow, but then we’ll head back to Quantico.” He cupped her cheek once more, ran his thumb across her cheekbone. His reasons for being afraid to open his heart to this woman seemed so ridiculous now. “Can you still come out to see me, or...” He trailed off when she glanced behind them where Mama Cruz was still hugging Ethan.

“I want to, but don’t think I should leave her yet. It was...really hard tonight,” she finished, a tremor in her voice.

Ah, baby.
“I know it was. I’m so damn thankful you guys are okay.” He didn’t know exactly what they’d been through, but he could guess well enough and it still made him sick to think of them enduring all that. “Listen, if you can’t come to me, then I’ll come to you. I can’t work with my shoulder like this right now anyway, so I’ll fly down to Miami as soon as I can get clearance. Maybe in a few days.”

Her smile was full of relief. “Okay. I’d like that.” She glanced behind her at her mom and brother. “And so would my mom.”

“I’d like it too.” He’d love to spend some time with the two women who meant the most to him in the world. But mostly, he wanted Carmela to himself for a few days at least. “Think she’d mind if we snuck away on our own for a while when I’m down there?”

She snuggled up against him once more, her arms around his waist, cheek resting over his heart. Right where she belonged. “I think she could be persuaded to let me go for a few days,” she teased.

“Good.” He kissed her forehead, met Ethan’s gaze across the room. Mama Cruz was smiling at him. He waved at her, received a blown kiss in return. Ethan nodded at him. Time to go. “Sweetheart, we gotta get back to base now,” he murmured.

Carmela lifted her head and gazed up at him with the same disappointment he was feeling. “Now?”

“Yeah. DeLuca gave us an hour to get here and back and our time’s up.”

To his horror she bit her lip and tears filled her eyes. “Don’t cry,” he begged. He didn’t think he had the strength to leave her if she broke down in front of him.

She sniffed, wiped impatiently at the tears. “Can you come by the hotel later?”

“I’ll try.” He’d move heaven and earth to make it happen, but it all depended on whether or not they could get all the briefings done before they had to catch a flight back to Seattle in the morning.

Her chin came up and her shoulders straightened, that inner strength he admired so much shining through. And he couldn’t help but smile. “Come on, babygirl,” he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “Let’s get you the hell out of here.”

Once she’d collected herself fully, he tucked her under his good arm and led her outside. Buses were lined up at the curb, ready to take the passengers to a local hotel for the night, maybe longer. He hated like hell to let her go so soon though.

Outside in the school parking lot an FBI agent held an umbrella over them to shield Carmela from the cold drizzle as they made their way to the first bus in line. The cruise line was facing one hell of an undertaking with arranging transportation home for everyone, not to mention cooperating with the salvage operation and paying for damages.

Not that money had ever brought back a dead loved one. Sawyer hated to think of what the victims’ families were going through right now.

Carmela looked up at him with a worried expression. “Are you sure about this? I’d rather stay with you until we get everything sorted out.”

He shook his head. “Wish I could stay but we’ve gotta go. We’re gonna have a long night getting everything tied off on our end.” And he needed to get his shoulder looked at by someone other than Schroder, get x-rays, all that. It hurt almost as much as the thought of letting Carmela go in another minute. “You go on to the hotel and we’ll come see you guys as soon as we can, okay?”

She searched his eyes for a moment, then nodded. “All right.”

He hugged her, gave her one last kiss then helped her up onto the first step before letting her go. When he turned around, Ethan was walking Mama Cruz toward the bus.

Her face crumpled when she saw him. “Oh, Sawyer...”

Without a word he reached for her, pulled her into a one-armed hug. “It’s okay now. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

She cried against his chest and squeezed him for all she was worth, this little woman with a giant heart who he loved so much. After a minute she pulled back, wiped her eyes and tried a smile. “We’ll see you before you leave, right?”

“Absolutely.” He’d make it happen somehow.

Ethan hugged her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “See you in a while,
Mami
.”

“Okay,” she murmured, her gaze immediately going to Sawyer.

He smiled, gave her a reassuring nod. “Take care of Carm for me until I can do it myself later.”

Her expression softened with total adoration at the mention of her daughter. “I will,
pequeño
,” she told him.

Little one. Even though he towered over her and outweighed her by who knew how much. A lot. The ridiculous endearment made him smile.

She got on the bus, looking as reluctant as Carmela had, and moved toward the back. When it pulled away, he stood on the curb with Ethan as the drizzle coated them. There were so many things he needed to say to his buddy, he didn’t even know where to begin.

A long silence stretched out as he gathered his thoughts, then Ethan let out a deep breath and spoke. “So I guess I owe you an apology.”

Huh? Sawyer shot him a confused look. “For what?”

“You and Carm. I didn’t realize things were that serious. I understand now that I misjudged the situation between you guys.” He put his hands in his pockets, his gaze still on the retreating bus.

“Well it was...I didn’t mean for you to find out like that.”

His buddy shrugged. “I saw the way she ran to you the moment you set foot in that gym. That right there tells me everything I need to know.”

“Oh. Not everything, though.”

Ethan looked his way, frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I love her. Plain and simple. I’d do anything for her.” Anything but walk away, because that would kill him.

Now a smile tugged at Ethan’s lips. “Well that’s ...kinda cool, actually. Especially since it’s obvious she loves you back.”

Sawyer grinned too. “Yeah. I feel like I just won the lottery
and
the Superbowl.”

Ethan nodded, looking pleased. “Good, that’s the way you’re supposed to feel. I’m happy for you guys.”

Sawyer’s expression turned wary. “So you’re okay with it?”

“As long as you treat her right.”

His gaze sharpened on Ethan, old insecurities flaring to life. “I’ll be good to her, you know I will.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “But look, whatever happens with her and I down the road, no matter what I just need to know that you and I will still—”

Ethan snorted and shook his head. “You’re telling me you’ll be good to her, yet in the next breath you’re talking about the possibility of you guys not working out. What the hell am I supposed to read into that?”

Sawyer blew out a breath and glanced away, fighting those long-buried fears trying to scrape to the surface once more. “I want it to work. I do, and I have every intention of making it work between us. I’ll do whatever it takes and I want to make her happy. But I’m just saying,
what if
?” He shook his head, then added softly, “I couldn’t take it if I lost you because of that.”

“Aw, hell. Seriously?” Ethan shook his head in exasperation, looking equal parts insulted and baffled. “I’m not Danny, dickwad.”

Sawyer fought a smile at that. “I know.”

“Well then don’t lump me in the same category as him. Jesus, that just pisses me off.” Ethan stared through the drizzle at the bus as it turned the corner. “Can’t lie that thinking of you two together doesn’t ick me out a little though.” He made a face and Sawyer nearly laughed.

“What? Seriously? You’ve had, what, almost twenty-four hours to get used to the idea. Adapt already.”

“Give a guy some slack, man. It’s been a helluva couple days.” Ethan nudged him with an elbow and grinned. “Hey. As long as you treat her right, you and I won’t ever have a problem, no matter what happens. Okay? Satisfied?”

Sawyer let out a relieved breath, finally feeling like his world was balanced again. “You don’t ever have to worry about that.”