Seeking Vengeance: Callaghan Brothers, Book 4 (23 page)

“It’s not quite that easy...”

Sean fixed Ian with eyes like ice.  “Find her.  I don’t give a shit what it takes.”

Ian hesitated.  “Sean, there’s something you need to know about the Chameleons.  It’s not just something you walk away from.  It’s a lifetime commitment.”

“Excuse me?”

Ian looked uncomfortable.  “Just what I said.  The organization is very particular about who they accept.  Potential candidates have to be extremely intelligent, have some natural skills, and possess an iron will.  But their most important qualification?  They have to have nothing else to live for.”

All was silent for a few moments as the weight of that last statement settled upon them.  “What about her brother?” Shane asked.  Sean wanted to clasp his brother on the back.  From the little bit he knew of Nicki, he found it impossible to believe she’d be capable of completing cutting her twin out of her life.  “Given the fact that she’s been contacting him over the past eight years and spent a couple of weeks with him, that sure doesn’t seem to be the case.”

If anything, Ian’s eyes darkened.  Sean didn’t like that look, not at all.  “What is it that you’re not saying, Ian?”

“Nicki didn’t just bend the rules.  She shattered them.  While they might be willing to overlook a few minor infractions, they cannot ignore what she did here in Pine Ridge.”

“So, what – are they going to kick her out or something?”

“Haven’t you been listening?” Ian said, his voice rising with the level of frustration in his voice.  “It is not something you walk away from.  You can’t just leave.  There’s no such thing as a ‘former Chameleon’.”

The temperature in the room seemed to drop at least ten degrees in a matter of seconds. 

“What’s happened to her, Ian?”  Sean’s voice was barely more than a whisper, but was easily audible in the absolute silence.

“Honestly?  I don’t know.  No one does.  The only thing my contact heard was that she was suspended indefinitely and remanded to a secure location.”

* * *

N
icki’s toe touched the porch flooring, just enough to maintain the lazy, rhythmic arc of the porch swing.  It was another gloriously beautiful day.  The sun was shining.  There was hardly a cloud in the sky.  The air was balmy, with the slightest breeze carrying the scent of wild magnolia across the meadow.  If she listened carefully she could hear the steady stream of icy creek water over the flat rocks behind the cabin.

Quite simply, it was paradise.  There were no people, no missions.  Other than a few modern conveniences for which she was profoundly grateful, there was only simplicity.  She passed her time reading – the little place had an amazing selection of books; working out – the property included a shed with a weight bag and various fighting implements; and tinkering with the old Jeep in yet another outbuilding. 

Nicki eventually forced herself off the swing and down toward the creek.  It was here that she spent an hour each day, stripping down to what the Lord blessed her with and stretching out on the rocks like a lizard in the sun.  She’d inevitably fall asleep, lulled by the sound of the water, letting her mind wander in the dreams that bled into her waking thoughts.

Sean Callaghan.
  The warmth and solidity of the rock reminded her of him.  If she tried really hard, she could imagine that it was his hard body beneath her.

Wants and wishes
.  A sad smile teased the corners of her mouth as she recalled their little dialogue that day.  She now had everything she wanted, everything she could attain through her own efforts.  She’d thought Sean was among the things she wanted, and for a time, he had been.  She’d given in to her desire, had taken him even as she had given him a part of herself.  But somewhere along the line, Sean had moved from the “want” category into the “wish” category.  He was something she was incapable of having.  And Nicki didn’t do wishes.

She wasn’t stupid.  She knew she’d fucked up royally.  They didn’t have a lot of rules, but the ones they did have were law.  No family.  No friends outside of the organization.  And absolute secrecy. 

They knew about Nick.  That was enough to earn her a severe slap on the wrist, but nothing more.  She was one of their best, and had never actually revealed where she was or what she was doing. 

They knew about her mom, too, but Charlene wasn’t going to tell anyone now, was she? 

They knew about Benny.  Allowing her to be the one to take him down was an added bonus; they would have gone after him eventually anyway. 

What was unforgivable, what had sealed her fate, was her brief affair with Sean Callaghan.

Of all the men in the world, why had she chosen to break her vow of celibacy with him?  She hadn’t willingly engaged – and so hadn’t engaged at all – in any sexual relationships since they scraped her out of the alley Benny’s thugs had dumped her into nearly a decade ago.  So why now?  Why him?

Because he, and he alone, had done what no one else had ever done.  For a little while he had filled the Grand Canyon-sized hole in the middle of her chest.  For a little while she had felt truly loved, wanted and desired.

Even now she couldn’t regret it.  That brief span of time with him was more than some people ever got in an entire lifetime, and it was certainly more than she’d ever expected.  No, she realized as she lay in the sun, letting the cool water trickle over her fingertips and toes, she wouldn’t change anything.  She had experienced true happiness, and now had enough memories to sustain her for whatever small amount of time she had left.

It couldn’t be too much more.  Six weeks had already passed; it was more than she’d anticipated.  It was a beautiful place for someone to spend their last days.  It was a rare treat, she knew, one most in her position would not get to experience.

She wasn’t a fool.  The only reason she was allowed into Taser’s private refuge was because she’d never be able to tell anyone about it.  This was her final gift – the chance to make peace with herself and whatever she believed in.  When the end came, it would be swift.  Hopefully painless.  And, if there was a God, she would never see it coming.  But if she did, she’d already made up her mind that she wouldn’t fight it.  She’d accomplished what she’d set out to do.  She’d broken the rules, knowing the consequences.  She was ready to face her fate.

––––––––

I
t was Wednesday, which meant a new shipment of supplies would be waiting for her at the far edge of the property come twilight.  She never saw who delivered them; she’d obeyed Taser’s instructions to the letter, and they clearly stated that from four to six p.m. on Wednesdays, she was supposed to remain completely out of sight. 

Nicki emerged from the woods, peering carefully this way and that.  As always, she was alone.  But this time, there was no shipment awaiting her.  She sighed, bracing herself for the inevitable.  Her time had finally come.

She took the long way back.  Slipping off her shoes so she could feel the cool, damp earth and leaves beneath her feet, she wound her way through the forest.  Her fingers stroked every tree along the way, memorizing the feel of the bark.  She stopped briefly to admire every flower and inhale its scent.  She listened to the sound of the awakening nocturnal creatures, the soft brush of the wind through the leaves.  And when she emerged just short of the cabin, she looked up into the most brilliantly designed sky she’d ever seen.

There was a light on in the cabin; the soft glow spilled out welcomingly.  So much for her not seeing it coming.

The aroma of steak and onions floated out to her and she smiled. 

“There’s nothing like a great steak.  Wouldn’t you agree?” the man asked without turning around.  Nicki recognized him immediately.  Taking a deep breath – she didn’t think it would be this hard – she smiled.

“Taser, you devil.  I’m honored.  I thought they’d send Fish.  He’s been wanting to off me for years.”

The Chameleon leader laughed, a hearty, genuine rumble that filled the whole cabin.  He had long straight hair the color of milk chocolate hanging out from beneath the do-rag that capped his skull.  A neatly trimmed patch of facial hair appeared above and below his mouth, giving him a very sophisticated, bad boy look.  Intense amber eyes – almost golden – turned to smile at her.

He took in her bronzed, sculpted flesh meticulously, scanning her from head to toe.  Nicki didn’t bother feeling self-conscious.  That was Taser.  It was said that he got the nickname from the effect he had on people simply by looking at them.

Nicki joined him at the stove, plucking a mushroom from the pan.  “Make yourself useful,” he said, his voice as compelling and hypnotic as his eyes.  “Start on the salad.”  He waved a skewering fork in the direction of a grocery bag spilling over with various green and fresh vegetables.  She thought it was a little tacky for him to ask her to help prepare her own last meal, but what the hell.

“How are Fisher and Brookes?” she asked, pulling out a colander and breaking lettuce leaves into it.

“Like lost puppies,” Taser chuckled.  Nicki smiled too.  It wasn’t true, she knew, but it was kind of him to say so.  Taser was nothing if not a psychological genius.  He knew what people needed to hear and had no qualms about saying whatever was necessary to suit his purposes.  And Taser would make this as pleasant as possible. 

That was okay.  Nicki had a similar gift, only hers allowed her to see through the bullshit and hear what he was really saying.

“I had to send them off to Seattle just for a little peace.  They’re driving me nuts.”  Nicki’s translation:  Taser didn’t want them to know when or where it would go down.

“Yeah,” she agreed, “they do that.  They’re good agents, though.  The best.”  It was her way of letting Taser know that neither of them had a hand in what she’d been up to.  Surely he already knew that, but she was just confirming it for good measure.  Taser nodded, amused.

“This place is awesome,” she said after a while.  The silence wasn’t terribly awkward as they prepared the meal together, but it had been quite a while since she’d had the chance to speak to another human being. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed it.

“Thought you’d like it,” he said.  “It’s my own personal therapy.  I come here when things get to be too much.”

Too much for Taser?  The thought was almost unimaginable.  Taser was the embodiment of knowledge, power, and control.  She said as much to him, evoking another round of laughter.  “You make me feel like a god, Nix.”

“Aren’t you?” she quipped.  “You’ve been insinuating as much for years.”

“Demi-god,” he corrected with a smile.  “There’s still a touch of humanity floating around somewhere.  I’ve been trying to quell it but it’s elusive as hell.”

Nicki, for one, was grateful for that touch of humanity.  Without it, she wouldn’t have had the last six weeks.  She wouldn’t be sitting here now, laughing and enjoying a delectable meal.  She told him that, too.

They talked, keeping the subjects light.  Nicki thought Taser might have slipped something into the food or drink at some point, but hours afterward, she still felt no unusual symptoms, just a pleasantly full belly and a sense of the inevitable.

Taser insisted she stay in the bedroom; he would take the couch.  That surprised her a little.  She’d half expected him to offer her a chance of one last night of passion, but he didn’t, brushing only a chaste kiss across her forehead when he bid her a good night.  It was just as well.  She wouldn’t have accepted.  Then again, he probably already knew that, just like the prescient bastard knew everything else.

As Nicki lay in bed, she stared up at the ceiling and did something she hadn’t done in a long time:  she prayed.  She asked for forgiveness, and for God to watch over her brother and Sean.  She thanked Him for these last few weeks of peace.  And she asked for special consideration for Taser, who was only doing his job.  When she was finished, she closed her eyes, and drifted off, never expecting to wake again.

I
t was quite a shock when she felt the warm, humid breeze across her bared shoulders the next morning.  The birds were singing, their gentle music clearly audible in the early morning hours.  Nicki opened one eye and looked around.  The room looked exactly like it had yesterday, and she was alone, wearing the same clothes she’d gone to sleep in.  She’d deliberately chosen a silky white nightie rather than her usual cotton T and panties.  Perhaps she had some kind of latent princess fantasy, but she wanted to look pretty in her final moments.

She could hear Taser in the other room, moving quietly as if afraid to wake her.  For some reason, that thought struck her as funny.

“Are you ever not beautiful?” Taser murmured when she emerged shortly thereafter to find him lounging on the couch, coffee in hand, laptop balanced on his long legs. 

Nicki paused, stunned by his words.  Deciding she must have heard wrong, she shook her head and proceeded to pour herself a cup of coffee.

Taser looked completely at ease as he directed his attention back to his laptop, not at all like someone who was going to kill her and dispose of her body.  She guessed that kind of mental control was what made him so good at it.  He did stretch out his hand, however, silently commanding her to refill his mug as well.  She did.

“I never really pictured you as the cruel type,” she said conversationally as she took a seat across from him.  “Is this part of my punishment?”

His golden eyes lifted from the screen.  “Do you find my company so punishing, Nix?”

“Not at all.  On the contrary, I think I might genuinely enjoy it were the circumstances different.”

“What circumstances would those be?”

“Oh, come off it, Tay.  We both know why you’re here, so why not just get it over with?  I know you’re into the whole psychological mind-fuck thing – and don’t get me wrong – you excel at it – but enough’s enough.”

Taser did something he rarely did.  He blinked.  “Let me see if I understand this.  I send you to my private retreat for a little R and R.  Provide you with everything you need – clothes, food, distractions.  Cook you a fine meal.  Give you my bed.  Make coffee and let you sleep in.  And that constitutes fucking in your mind?”