Seeds of Summer (22 page)

A
FTER CHURCH,
J
ARED DROVE TO
C
ONCORDIA TO VISIT HIS PARENTS.
As he pulled up to the house, he met his dad carrying in a bucket of garden corn.

“Hey, you're just in time to help shuck.” His dad smiled and patted Jared on the back. “Your mom said you'd be joining us for supper. It's good to see you.”

Jared sat at the picnic table where his dad dumped the corn he'd picked. He chose one and peeled back the outer husk. “It looks like your garden is doing well.”

His mom came out of the house then and enveloped him in a big hug. “You'll have to take some of this back with you.”

Jared smiled his thanks, knowing he'd leave with a trunk full of vegetables. For as long as he could remember, his folks had planted a summer garden—a hobby for his dad and a mission project for his mom as she'd give their produce to anyone who looked like they might be hungry.

“I can't believe it's been two months since your ordination.” She pinched his cheek, a habit she refused to give up. “How are things going at your church?”

Jared removed a handful of silk from a golden ear of corn. “I can't
complain. We started a men's Bible study and have already finished Vacation Bible School. I'm not so busy that I can't get in a little fishing,” he said and winked at his dad.

“You look healthy.” His dad took Jared's piece of corn and placed it on a tray with several others. “The women at your church must be feeding you well.”

“It's good to see some color on your face too.” His mom shooed the flies from the corn piled high on the tray. “You must be getting plenty of fresh air.”

Jared glanced at his skin, now golden brown from his time in the sun. “I've been helping a friend with some ranch work. I hoped I might talk to you about that.” Jared waited for his dad to take the hint.

His dad caught it like a baseball catcher. “Mother, is it all right if I show Jared the new tiller we bought for the garden?”

She rose from the bench. “You men and your toys. Go ahead. I'm taking these ears inside where I can silk them without any flies. But come in when you're done, and we'll have some blackberry pie. Your dad picked them fresh yesterday morning.”

His dad made a face. “Briars and all.”

Jared reached over and pecked his mom on the cheek. “I can always count on you to have a pie for me when I come home.” He held the back door for her, then walked with his dad to the garage.

“Tell me, son, what's on your mind. While I know your mother's cooking is a great enticement, I also know how precious a minister's time can be. Are you having to take on an extra job to support yourself?”

“It's not like that.” Jared attempted to ease his dad's mind. “This friend of mine, her father died, and she needed someone to help with the hay crop.”

“She?” His dad's brow curved with reservation.

Jared's ears burned as though he'd been caught in a lie. “She's a young woman, raising her two siblings by herself.”

“I'm sorry to hear about her loss. Does she attend your church? Is that how you met her?”

“Not exactly.”

“I see.” His dad hovered over his new tiller and brushed a speck of oil from the bright red paint. “Does she go to church?”

Jared jammed his hands in his pockets. “She's been a few times, but she's had a lot of roadblocks to her faith.”

“Okay, so you're helping a single gal who's struggling with her faith, and you want advice from your old man.” He revealed the barest hint of a grin. “If you want my help, you're going to have to offer more than that.”

Not eager to admit the problems he'd made for himself, Jared tamped down his pride. “Natalie Adams is a strong and intelligent woman, and the more I'm around her, the more time I want to spend with her. Working on her ranch this past month has brought back a ton of memories. It has me wondering if I made the right choice in becoming a minister or whether I should have stuck it out and tried to work my way into farming.” He stared at the rear-tine tiller as though their conversation centered on it. “Right now, I'm confused about a lot of things.”

His dad scratched his chin. “This girl, you really like her?”

Jared smiled as an image formed in his mind of Natalie standing on the riverbank with her hair floating long and free. “She's a remarkable woman. She's been through so much, but she always perseveres. I doubt I could have carried her load for as long. Her determination and courage seem to drive her forward. What amazes me is that through all her troubles, she somehow managed to win first runner up for Miss Rodeo America.”

“That's quite an accomplishment for a young lady. His dad's eyes perked with interest. “Your friend sounds like a fascinating person—one I'd like to meet someday.”

Jared raked his fingers through his hair. “But that's just it. How will I know if Natalie is the woman I'm meant to be with? And, if
she is the one God has chosen for me, how will I be both a rancher and a pastor? You and Mom moved to half a dozen churches before you settled here.”

“Whoa down, son. These are some mighty big steps you're talking about.”

Jared took a breath to settle himself. “I just want to be sure that Natalie and I aren't setting ourselves up for disappointment. Or should I put some space between us and give my full concentration to the church for awhile?” He gripped the handlebars of the tiller. “When I went through seminary, I never questioned whether I would fall in love and marry. I assumed it would happen—expected it to. But I never counted on such an unexpected twist. To fall in love with someone who isn't a member of the church, and who comes with all this extra baggage.”

His dad crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. “You mean more baggage than what you've already expressed?”

The garage had turned into a sweltering sauna. “Natalie has a fifteen-year-old sister who has a few problems, and her little brother misses his dad something terrible. Then there's her stepmom who reappeared recently. They thought Libby was dead, but now she wants to be a part of their life. It's complicated.”

“Life is filled with complications.” His dad turned the key on the tiller, and it rumbled to a steady rhythm. “Take your mother for example. She didn't think we needed such a big tiller and fought me tooth and nail about buying it. But this little darling has an eight horsepower engine and works the ground so fine and soft, a weed won't dare grow in her garden.”

After a few minutes, he shut down the motor and patted the machine with satisfaction. “When your mother and I married before seminary, we both understood what we were getting into. We knew we wouldn't always agree, but we also knew God was great enough to handle any problem we would give him. Not all relationships are so easy, though. Your first obstacle seems to be Natalie's faith. Until
you get over that hurdle, there doesn't seem to be much future for the two of you.

“Unless, of course, you decide Natalie is more important to you than the ministry. And even then, a marriage between a nonbe-liever and one who is faithful is extremely difficult.” He moved to Jared's side and squeezed his shoulder. “Maybe you need to step back and look at things from a different view—see if your feelings are as strong when you get away from this gal and her family. Determine how you would feel if Natalie was no longer in your life.”

“You're disappointed that I've allowed this to happen?”

His dad shook his head. “No, son, in all my years as a pastor I've witnessed marriages between total opposites that seemed doomed from the very beginning but turned into beautiful, lasting relationships. What's important is that you set God as the foundation for your marriage, and when you do that, everything else will fall into place.”

Jared gripped the handlebars tighter. “I know you're right. Maybe I just need to put some space between us.” The thought of walking away from Natalie and her family nearly tore his heart from his chest.

His dad sat on a nearby work stool. “Want to talk about the other thing that's bothering you? About your granddad?”

“How'd you know?”

“Let's just say the troubles we had back then have been on my mind a lot lately. I'm guessing God's been working on both of us.”

Jared shook his head, recalling the day his granddad informed everyone what his intentions were. The man had lived a long, full life but in the end developed lung cancer. A month or so before his death, he gathered the entire family in his living room. He sat up in his chair braced by a walker, and with a voice so clear and gruff Jared could still hear it to this day, said, “I've decided to give the farm to Jimmy.”

The entire room rang with silence, and Jared felt the weight of burning coals heaped on his heart.

“Do you regret arguing with Granddad that night?”

His father winced. “You knew?”

Jared nodded. At the time, Jared had been honored that his dad would stand up for him, but also ashamed that he'd argue with a dying man. “I wish things could have been different in the end. I loved that man so much.”

“He loved you too.”

Jared wished he'd told his granddad instead of walking away with a bruised ego, thinking the old man had abandoned him. “Do you suppose Granddad deprived me of the farm for a reason?”

His dad braced his hands on his knees. “There was a lot going on back then that you weren't aware of. Your Uncle Jimmy had a mountain of debt and nothing to show for it. My brother needed help. While I'm sure Granddad struggled with his decision, he couldn't abandon his oldest son. What he did gave Jimmy hope for his future.” He shifted his position on the stool and seemed to weigh his next words. “Tell me this. Do you enjoy being a pastor?”

Jared considered the time he'd spent with his new congregation counseling, guiding, and teaching them. “I like the challenge and sense God's hand on my work. But I can't deny the satisfaction I receive in the hard physical labor of working the land.”

His dad nodded as though he understood completely. “I can tell you this, son, and maybe it'll help. I've known pastors who have stayed at their home parish all their lives,” he said. “They've worked farms and held outside jobs, called to do that work as much as they were called to minister. A man has to be willing to listen to God's call and follow wherever it leads him. And that's a lesson for all believers—not just the clergy.”

“I
CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE RUNNING HER OFF
,” C
HELSEY SHRIEKED AT
Natalie from across the kitchen. “I don't know why I even try talking to you. You've been against Mom ever since she arrived. You don't want her here, and you don't want me here either.”

Natalie tossed the dishtowel on the table. “That's not true, Chels. Don't you see, she's trying to buy your love? New clothes, boots, a brand new horse that she has no business buying—and we still don't know where she gets her money.”

Her sister shook her head in disbelief. “No, Nat, you're just jealous that Mom came back. You're jealous that Dillon and I want her to stay, and because you don't get to be our mom any longer.” The girl stormed out of the kitchen.

Natalie forced back searing tears and pursued her up the living room stairs. “You don't mean that, Chels. How can you even think it after all we've been through? I nursed you through colds and flus, and the chickenpox, took you to ballgames and band concerts.”

She reached the top of the stairs and trailed Chelsey into her bedroom. “For Pete's sakes, last summer I helped you pass your driver's permit test. How can you believe I don't care about you?”

Her sister jammed another pair of jeans into an already full suitcase. “You brought it on yourself, blaming Mom for stealing Dad's money. That was just cruel, Nat. I can't stand by you after that.”

Natalie pressed her hand against her temple, her head pounding. “I caught Libby putting money in her pocket. You can't fight the facts.”

“She didn't know the envelope held money,” Chelsey defended.

“Yeah right, and I was born yesterday.”

“I've had it with your accusations.” Chelsey shook her head with bitter resentment and zipped the suitcase closed. “Mom's moving to town, and I'm going with her. Dillon can come too, if he wants.”

Her sister's words knocked the air out of her, and Natalie sunk into a chair. “You can't leave. I'm your legal guardian.”

“I guess we'll have to see about that, won't we?”

“You can't just leave when things get tough. That's Libby's way. She left when you were a toddler and now she's leaving again. Don't be like her. The only way to get through this is for you to stay and work it out.”

“No, Nat. I'm not going to sit back and watch you do this to her.” Chelsey lugged her suitcases to the bedroom door then paused. “Libby's changed—she's not the same as she was back then. If you won't allow her to stay, I'm not going to stay either.” Her sister raged down the steps with her heavy bags thumping behind.

Natalie fought the urge to go after her. There was no pleading with the girl. Her sister was past the point of listening to reason. When the back door slammed shut, Natalie returned to the kitchen and peered out the curtained window to see Chelsey loading her suitcases in the back of Libby's car.

Minutes later, Libby passed by the counter with her luggage, playing the part of victim quite well. “I never meant to cause such a fuss between you and the kids. I'm sorry it's come to this—that you feel you can't trust me.”

She stopped in the doorway and faced Natalie with a puckered
brow. “I'll try to talk Chelsey into calling you later, once she cools down. I know you love her.”

Her spirit too fragile, Natalie refused to answer and watched as the yellow sedan disappeared down the lane. She crumpled into a kitchen chair. How had things gotten so complicated? She'd begun this journey hoping to get through their father's death and forge a family bond, but somewhere along the way, she'd managed to sever nearly every strand she'd built. The agony inside threatened to pull her apart, piece by piece.

Natalie buried her head in her hands and allowed the tears to fall. She wept for the family she'd tried to hold together, for letting down her dad and destroying all his hard work. And finally, she cried for herself…for losing the two people she cared about most in this world—her brother and sister, for surely it was only a matter of time before Dillon would follow in Chelsey's footsteps.

Without them, it all seemed meaningless—and ironic.

All her life, Natalie had fought to escape the ties and responsibilities that held her, but in reality, those ties and responsibilities were what defined her. Natalie had raised those kids. She'd laughed with them in happy moments and dried their tears when they were sad. How could it all end so hopelessly? Her heart ached with bitterness, and when she could cry no more, a solemn gloom hung over her like a storm cloud.

She glanced out the window and realized darkness had fallen. Then she felt a small hand on her shoulder.

“I won't leave you, Nat.”

She shifted her head to see Dillon standing behind her, his own eyes watery.

“How long have you been here?”

Her brother shrugged, and it was then she noticed he held a leather book in his hands. He laid it on the table before her and opened it to a page marked with a red satin ribbon.

“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will
fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Dillon read the words Jared had repeated when he'd talked her down the windmill tower.

“Is this the Bible Jared gave you?”

At his nod, Natalie picked up the hair ribbon bookmark and broke down in tears. God had been with her all along. As a young girl when her mama died, through the years, and especially these past few months. She could no longer deny his existence or his care and felt his presence right now in this room.

For the next thirty minutes, she and Dillon read from the marked passages in Dillon's Bible, and the longer they read, the more comfort Natalie drew from them. Afterwards, she and Dillon sat on the porch and watched the fireflies blink across the yard.

“Are you afraid, Dillon? Do you trust me enough to believe that I want what's best for you and Chelsey? That I want us to be a family and that I'd never deliberately hurt either one of you?”

“I know you love us, Nat. Chelsey knows it too. She's just being stupid right now.”

Natalie hugged him to her side. “Tomorrow we'll visit Willard and see if he has any advice for solving this problem. Does that sound like a good idea?”

“What about Jared? He could help us.”

Natalie thought so too and couldn't think of anyone she'd rather talk to about this than Jared. She decided to call him before she went to bed that night. Only he didn't answer his phone.