See You at the Show (21 page)

“Where’ve you been?”
 

Stevie threw her helmet down onto the hall floor and looked at Mark as he stood in the doorway of her living room, his hands in his pockets, his hair all dishevelled.
 
He looked tired and rough as hell.

“Sorry...could you tell me when it was we actually got married because I must’ve missed that.”

“What’re you talking about?”

She pushed past him into the living room.
 
“You.
 
Standing there asking me where I’ve been like you’ve got some right to know where I am.
 
And what the hell are you doing here anyway?”

“Looking for you.”
 
He followed her into the kitchen.

“Well, you’ve found me.
 
You look like shit by the way.
 
Have you been up all night or something?”

“I didn’t sleep much.”

She filled the kettle, getting cups out of the cupboard and milk from the fridge, until Mark grabbed her arm and swung her round to face him.

“Will you just stay still for two minutes, please?”

She stared at him.
 
“What the fuck is
wrong
with you?”

“Let’s go to bed.”

“I’m not tired.”
 
She tried to break free from his grip but he held onto her.

“Neither am I, and you know what I mean.”

She looked at him, giving up the struggle and letting him pull her close.
 
What was the point in fighting it?
 
She fancied the hell out of him, whatever mood he was in.
 

“Come on, baby.
 
Come to bed.
 
I missed you last night.”

“We never had plans for last night, Mark.”

“Jesus, Stevie, why can’t we just be like any other ordinary couple?”

She pulled away from him.
 
“Any other
ordinary
couple?
 
Since when were we even a
couple
never mind an ordinary one?”

She went back over to the kettle, waiting for it to stop boiling.
 
He was acting weird and she couldn’t deal with him right now.

“Maybe I
want
to be.”

She turned round.
 
“Maybe you want to be
what,
Mark?”

“A couple.”

“Ok.
 
You’re freaking me out now.”
 
She walked away from him, flicking on the TV.

“What’s so wrong with being a couple, Stevie?
 
Huh?
 
What’s so wrong with that?”

She faced him again, throwing the remote control down onto the sofa.
 
“There’s nothing wrong with it, Mark.
 
For other people.
 
But it isn’t you, is it?”

He leaned back against the wall, his arms folded, his head down.
 
Stevie had no idea what was up with him but something was and she wasn’t sure she liked it.

“Were you with Johnny last night?” he asked, scuffing the heel of his boot against the skirting board, his head still down.

She sighed, throwing her head back and closing her eyes.
 
“No, I wasn’t.
 
And I’m hazarding a guess you’ve already been round to his place so I’ve got no idea why you’re asking me a question you already know the answer to.”

“So, where were you?”
 
He looked up at her and she stared at him.
 
Mark Cassidy was suddenly getting complicated and it was making her nervous.

“What the hell has it got to do with
you
?”

“I love you, ok?
 
I fucking love you, Stevie, that’s what it’s got to do with me.”

“Whoa, hold it right there, Mark.
 
I really don’t want to hear this, this isn’t you, you’re scaring me.”
 
She walked away from him, out of the kitchen and into the bedroom but he followed her, grabbing her hand and pulling her back, giving her no choice but to look at him.

“Don’t walk away from me, Stevie.
 
We need to talk.”

“No, Mark.
 
We need to get back to normal
, that’s
what we need to do.”

“Did you hear what I said to you out there?
 
It took a lot for me to say that, Stevie, but you’ve got to me, baby.
 
You’ve really got to me.”

She stared at him.
 
This wasn’t the way things were supposed to be.
 
Her and Mark, they were supposed to be free spirits, no commitments, no ties; he wasn’t supposed to be standing there in front
 
of her telling her he loved her.
 
That wasn’t the deal.
 
She’d had a feeling things were changing but she hadn’t expected this.
 
Mark Cassidy didn’t do love.
 
And neither did she.

“I wasn’t with Johnny last night, but I
was
sleeping with another man.”
 
Her voice was quiet as she continued to stare at him.
 
“That’s where I was.
 
Ok?”

“I can’t deal with this,” Mark said, turning away and walking out of the room.

“That’s right, Mark!” Stevie shouted after him.
 
“You can’t deal with something so you just walk away, like you always do.
 
It’s the same old story, every fucking time!”

He swung back round.
 
“No,
you
were the one who walked away from
me,
Stevie.
 
I tell you I love you and
you
walked away.
 
Do you know how hard it was for me to tell you that?
 
Huh?
 
Do you have any idea?
 
And then you stand there and tell me you slept with another man?
 
How the hell is that supposed to make me feel?”

“Like you
should
be feeling, Mark.
 
Like you usually feel.
 
Like you don’t give a damn because you know I always come back to you in the end.
 
I always come back to
you
.
 
That’s the deal.
 
That’s the way it’s always been.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to feel that way anymore.
 
Maybe it’s time the deal changed.”

She sat down on the edge of the bed.
 
“And what if the deal doesn’t suit me, huh?”

He just looked at her for a second, offering nothing in the way of a reply, and then walked out.
 

Stevie pulled her knees up, hugging them to her chest, closing her eyes as she sound of the door slamming made her flinch slightly, signalling Mark’s exit.
 
She sighed heavily, keeping her eyes closed.
 
What she’d done last night was something Mark had been doing for years, it wasn’t unusual, it never hurt them.
 
Their relationship was intense but it had always been open and that had always worked for them, so why was he suddenly shifting the goalposts?
 
And why did she suddenly feel as though nothing could be the same anymore?

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Samantha busied herself tidying away the debris of dinner, stacking plates in the dishwasher as the sound of the TV in the background filled the gulf of silence that echoed round the kitchen.
 
It had pretty much been that way all through dinner too – silent, because Daniel hadn’t been particularly talkative after his arrival back from
London
.
 
He’d tried to make polite conversation with her about her day while he’d picked at his food but as soon as he could he’d disappeared into his office, leaving her on her own.
 
This wasn’t entirely unusual, of course, but Samantha sensed something was different this time.
 
He wasn’t her Daniel.
 
He’d been acting a little strange for days now, ever since Audra’s party really.
 
He’d been more distant than usual, more introverted, not to mention the way he’d just upped and left last night without any explanation.
 
The way he’d ignored her calls.

She put it all down to this leadership campaign.
 
It was bound to take up all of his time, it was extremely important to him, she knew that, but there was still something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
 
Something about him that didn’t feel right.
 
His behaviour, the way he’d been acting around her lately, it just wasn’t sitting well with her but she had no idea what to do about it.
 
They weren’t the kind of couple who sat and talked about their feelings so Daniel wouldn’t appreciate her asking him what was wrong.
 
If anything
was
wrong.
 
She just felt that it was.

She pulled down the blind on the large picture window, shutting away the day.
 
It was just starting to get dark outside and she suddenly felt very tired.
 
Maybe things would feel different tomorrow.
 
Maybe he was just tired too.
 

She turned off the light and closed the door behind her.
 
Yes
,
she thought, as she headed upstairs to bed, just a hint of hope making her believe everything was going to be fine.
 
Things always looked better in the morning.

***

Daniel watched from his office window as the light in the kitchen was switched off followed a few minutes later by their bedroom light coming on.
 
He breathed a sigh of relief, and hated himself for it.

He wasn’t being himself, he knew that, but how could he be?
 
He also knew Samantha could tell something was wrong but what could he say to her?
 
That he’d spent last night with the most extraordinary woman he’d ever met?
 
A woman he couldn’t get out of his head?
 
He couldn’t tell her that, could he?

He sat forward, resting his elbows on the desk, his head in his hands.
 
He had no idea how he’d got through the day because he felt as though he’d been on autopilot for most of it, and if he didn’t pull himself together soon he’d have more than just Samantha asking questions. Angus had already saved him from a potentially embarrassing situation that afternoon during a TV interview in The City when he’d just completely lost concentration.
 
He’d told Angus he was tired, which wasn’t a complete lie seeing as he hadn’t really slept much the night before, but he wasn’t altogether sure Angus had been totally convinced.
 
So he had to start getting his head together.
 
With an important few weeks ahead he couldn’t risk losing focus, not now.

Sighing heavily he sat back in his chair, taking a long sip of the whisky he’d poured himself earlier.
 
What he
should
be doing is forgetting all about Stevie Stone, but she wasn’t going to go away.
 
He couldn’t pretend that was going to happen because it wasn’t.
 
Just thinking about her made him light-headed, excited; she made him feel things he hadn’t felt in a long time.
 
All tinged with guilt, of course.
 
The guilt was never going to leave him, and a wave of it kicked in again as he looked back out of the window.
 
The light flicked off in their bedroom and he found that feeling of guilt being replaced with one of relief, another reason to hate himself even more than he already did.
 
Samantha would more than likely be asleep by the time he joined her and that meant no talking, no questions he wasn’t in the mood to answer.
 
That’s why he was relieved, because he didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want to have to explain something that he had no explanation for.
 
He just wanted to close his eyes and re-live his night with the most incredible woman he’d ever encountered.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.
 
The beginnings of a headache were starting to throb away as another wave of guilt hit him.
 
Samantha didn’t deserve any of this.
 
What he was doing to her wasn’t fair because he loved her, of course he loved her, didn’t he?
 
But she was no Stevie.
 
Nobody he’d ever met before or was ever likely to meet again could ever be Stevie.
 
She was a one-off, an original.
 
And he needed her, for some reason he just couldn’t explain.
 
He really needed her.

The beeping of his ‘phone signalled a text message arriving and he reached out and picked it up, smiling as he read it: -
Hey mr politician! 2morrow nite, repeat performance
?

He wanted a million repeat performances with Ms. Stone and he knew he’d never get tired.
 
What
she
wanted out of this he still didn’t know, but he also didn’t care.
 
He just needed to be with her again.
 
And for the first time in his life, Daniel Madison wasn’t thinking about the consequences.