Seductive Secrecy (Shadows series) (14 page)

“It was well worth the wait to see you like this,” he said.

Keeping my eyes fixed on him, I turned on my heels so he could see both sides, and completed the full twist. “You have excellent
taste.”

He shook his head. “You’d look good in anything.”

I could tell by the way he gripped the molding of the door that he was having a hard time keeping his hands off me. As much as I needed them on my body, the feeling of want that consumed me felt so good that I could tolerate it for a little longer.

“Sometimes I look at you and I’m amazed that you’re mine.”

I knew the words had come from his mouth, but it felt as if I had
spoken them. It was exactly what I’d been thinking; that, after
everything we had experienced together, everything he knew about me, he still treated me the way he did. He still wanted me as much as he had
before he knew the truth. He showed me continuously that he
wanted me even more. And I felt the same. Cameron made me insatiable; as
much as he gave me, I wanted to be even closer than we were. I
wanted his breath to come from my mouth every time I exhaled.

He didn’t take a step forward. He just reached out his hand and felt along the shrug, following the fabric until he arrived at the knot
between my breasts. He untied both sides and pulled it off my
shoulders. His fingers then circled around me, and without warning he yanked me toward him. My palms settled on his chest, my mouth moving closer to his as he had bent his neck to reach me. Our lips didn’t touch; they hovered, each waiting for the other to close the gap.

We simmered in the temptation.

He was the first one to move. His mouth finally crushed against mine, his tongue dipping inside with each kiss. After several, he pulled away. We were both left breathless, our chests rising and falling as we tried to calm ourselves.

“Walk to the bed,” he ordered.

It was another similarity to the mansion. But coming from him, knowing that meant he was even closer to touching me, it made a different impact. I turned my back to him and took a step.

He stopped me.

His hand plucked my lip out from under my teeth. “Only I can taste that tonight.”

I nodded, and I continued to the bed. Before I got the chance to sit, he’d slipped in front of me, backing me up until I rested against one of the bedposts. My arms reached above my head and gripped the wood between my fingers.

“Can I feed you some champagne?” he asked.

I glanced at the nightstand where two empty glasses sat. A bottle had been placed in an ice bucket. “No,” I replied. “The only thing I want in my mouth is you.”

He leaned over me, his hands resting on top of mine, creating a cave around me. “Turn around.”

I slowly twirled again on my heels. My shoulders were greeted by his fingers moving my hair to one side so his mouth could devour the new flesh that was revealed. The heat from his mouth warmed my already-blazing skin. But instead of taking his time as I thought he would, kissing every single spot on my body, drawing out the tease until I screamed, he gave me exactly what I’d wanted all along. He quickly unhooked the clasp on my bra and his lips traveled straight down to my ass, stopping to lick the length of each cheek. When he got to the center, he didn’t bother to remove my panties. He ripped them apart, eliminating the cloth that separated his
tongue from my skin. Then he was below me on his knees, pushing
my legs even farther apart, giving himself room to fully lick the front. He dragged the wiggling tip of his tongue all the way to the back.

I hugged the pole between my arms, my face pressing into the ornately-carved wood. When I opened my eyes and glanced down, my gaze met his forehead. The pressure he used and the intensity of his flicking were too much for me to keep still. My hands rubbed the poster’s surface, my skin burning as my fingers kneaded it. The pain added to the pleasure; it created a combination that so easily drove me to the edge.

And I knew it was what Cameron wanted; he had already filled
me with two fingers, a third taunting my ass. But I wanted the
moment to last a few seconds longer. Through my mask, I admired the top of
his head. It reminded me of all the times I had been inside that
house,
hoping it would be his hair, his eyes that met me when my lids
opened instead of the stranger I’d been contracted to please.

That hope was finally coming true.

And it was happening for Charlie, not Cee. Cee wasn’t in this
mansion. I wasn’t sure what to do with this split, this division
between us. But as of that moment, it felt like the right thing.

The realization of
him
combined with the penetration of his
fingers and the flapping of his tongue started the spiral. I screamed out in response to the sensation. He didn’t stop when he felt my body shudder. He simply slowed to an exquisitely painful rhythm until my body calmed. Then his hands were back on my ass, lifting me, wrapping my legs around his waist.

His mouth took me in roughly. The wetness he had created
spread
from his lips to mine, and I was filled with my own sweetness—
another element of the pleasure he was able to give me, and continue to give me as he carried me to the bed and climbed on top of me. He was fully dressed…I ripped his shirt, starting with the first button and tugging my way down so each popped off and fell to the blankets. His belt was next, and his zipper followed. I peeled his pants and shoes off with my heels.

Rather than thrusting forcefully, he entered me at a slow, steady pace. His hands were tangled in my hair; his mouth never left mine. His body remained on top of me as we moved together. There was no rush, no desperate need. No pain. My nails avoided his skin as I rotated my touch between his neck and shoulders. The shift sent pulsating waves coursing through me.

I hadn’t felt him loosen the strings, but suddenly a burst of air hit my freed skin as he lifted the mask off my face.

“I need to see you. I need to know you’re with me.”

I reached behind his head and did the same, pulling the thick
fabric away from him, taking his cheeks between my hands. “I’m
here.”

His eyes glittered above me. “Just me?”

It was just him before he had taken off my mask; the removal didn’t change that. And I was exactly where I wanted to be.

“Only you,” I whispered.

He briefly bit down on my lip. “Then let me hear you come.”

I knew what tonight was about, that he was trying to recreate
experiences that resembled my old ones, but make memories that
were stronger, deeper, more meaningful. I also believed he was trying to show me a different side of him, one that stroked with an unhurried, loving pace rather than our usual feral need. But that wasn’t what I wanted for my second round.

“Bite me harder,” I demanded.

His teeth found me again, and I pushed the back of my head into the pillow. The build was there, but it was slow.

“Harder, baby,” I breathed.

His body pumped with more force instead, knowing it was what I really wanted, what I had meant to ask for. I moaned after each plunge. I couldn’t keep those bursts of bliss inside. The vibration of
my voice was almost as pleasurable as he was. And though he
wasn’t as loud as me, I could hear his enjoyment. I could feel it.

“Now fuck me…faster.”

I knew he was close; I was even closer.

“Cameron…”

His body slowed just a bit and rather than straight penetration, he circled his hips, grinding and filling me at the same time. It only took a few full twists before I completely released the build, letting it take over my entire body.

He wasn’t far behind me.

He didn’t pull out when we both finished. He stayed inside my warmth and surrounded my face with his forearms, pressing short, soft kisses on my lips. Everything tingled; my limbs were numb. It felt like the mattress was made of bubbles and they were sucking me into their delicate froth and enclosing the both of us.

His lips paused above me and we both opened our eyes. “Did you feel it?” he asked.

I searched his face, trying to figure out what exactly he was
asking me. But I knew. That was a thing we had between us…we
didn’t have years accumulated, we didn’t have a lot of words collected. But we didn’t need either. I didn’t know how I knew this, but I did.

I nodded. “Yes. I felt it.”

Cameron and I had the most intense, totally absorbing sex I’d
ever had. I just didn’t want that to be the source of my answer,
though.

“In there?” He looked down at my chest, then back up at my eyes.

I nodded again. Neither of us had to verbalize it. We both knew it was there.

The looks on our faces were enough.

YOUR PICTURE WAS PRINTED IN SEVERAL NEWSPAPERS
last week. My favorite was the one in the
Globe
, under the heading, “Boston’s
Newest Budding Artist.” Cameron stood so protectively by you in that
image, with his arm so snug around your waist. There was nothing but happiness in your expression. You were beaming, Charlie, looking over the crowd with such a humble, quiet confidence.

You’re not the same young woman I left behind.

You’ve become more.

When I think about what you’re going to accomplish, how hard you’re working, how you’re making better choices and decisions than I did, I feel rich with pride. I know I had absolutely no part in raising you and I didn’t instill any of these values, that the only thing we have in common is genetics. But I would like to think you inherited at least something from me…my best trait, since we both know my worst.

Regardless of my own shortcomings, as soon as I found out about you, I prayed that you would turn into a strong, determined, self-reliant woman. And that’s exactly what you’re becoming. I see those qualities radiating from you in all of your photos. I feel that, for the first time in a long time, you’re in the right place. I believe you’re safe, and I believe you’re being taken care of.

I will
always
worry about you; that concern appeared naturally the
moment I discovered I had a daughter. But now, it’s a different kind of
worry, because I trust that Cameron would never allow anything to happen to you. I know how men can be, Charlie. I knew of Cameron’s reputation long before you began dating him
don’t forget: he and I did business together in the past. He’s changed a great deal since then. Those photos revealed that to
me as well. I can tell by the way he looked at you that he cares for you
deeply. If he hasn’t told you yet, he will. Men have a difficult time opening up sometimes. We’re challenging animals. But give him a chance. In much the same way, there are people in my life with whom I wish I would have shared my feelings. It’s too late for that now. But it isn’t too late for you.

Be well.

Continue being happy.

-D.

***

The evening those pictures were taken was one of the best nights of my life. Cameron spent so much time planning every detail, making sure it all went so perfectly. Things between us have been different ever since.

I’m happy.

No…I’m
ecstatic
.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt this level of joy before. In the past, it’s come to me in short bursts, usually fueled by something dark. The feeling never lasted more than a few hours. But this has lasted far longer than any of that.
It’s becoming all-consuming. Like my art, it haunts me; it constantly
reminds
me of its existence. It appears to me when I least expect it, as a sweet
surprise.

I don’t know how to process these feelings, or how to voice them. I don’t know how to show my feelings more than I am already. But I think I need
to. He isn’t demanding that of me, or pressuring me. We have an
understanding; he’s the first man who hasn’t pushed me or made me uncomfortable. He’s allowed me to unfold at my own pace. Maybe that’s why I’m still here, why I haven’t run.

Or maybe I’m just wiser now. Maybe things are much clearer.

Or maybe none of that is true, and it all comes down to this: he’s the first man I’ve ever truly cared for.

Whatever it is, I’m finding peace. He’s helping me with that. It’s a slow process, and I don’t expect the thoughts or the memories of my life before to ever go away. But I want them to be distant and small, like the stars; not things I bring forward with me, but things that, when I turn around, I discover how much ground I’ve gained beyond them. I’m not waiting for the outcome of the trial to determine justice…whatever that means at this point. I’m waiting for my own feelings to settle.