Seducing the Ruthless Rogue (51 page)

“Sir, the driver was checking the inside of the carriage to make sure Mrs. McKenzie didn’t leave anything behind.
 
He found this stuffed down between the seat and the side wall and brought it to me just a few moments ago.
 
I thought you would want to see it immediately.”
 
He held out a crumpled piece of paper.
 

“Just lay it on the desk over there.”

“Yes, sir, but I really think you should look at it now.”

“Fine,” he ripped the paper from John’s hand, giving the man a hard glare.
 
He saw that the envelope was addressed to Cassie.
 
He removed the paper within and read it,
 

Tic Toc
.
 
Hear that?
 
It’s not a clock.
 
It’s the very last beats of your husband’s heart.
 
Enjoy what time you have left
.

He held the paper out to John after reading it through several more times.
 
“Thank you, John.
 
I apologize for my abruptness.
 
Please make sure the house is secured.”

“Already taken care of.”

“Have the footmen rotate around the clock as well as the stable hands.”

“Already done.
 
Anything else?”

“No, good night.”

“Good night.”

Mack had a sudden, desperate need to see Cassie, to make certain that she was well.

***

He wore a pair of loose Cossack pants and only his robe over them, much as he had that first night when the raven had been impaled on the tree.
 
He muted all the lights in his room before crossing to the connecting door and opening it.
 
There, in the bed, lay Cassie.
 
She no longer looked like a seamstress’ pin cushion, which he was thankful for.
 

He silently padded across the room.
 
A ladder back chair sat next to the bed.
 
He flipped it around so he could straddle it and lean against the back.
 
The candle’s flame had long since died, and just the barest hint of moonlight entered the room.
 
There was, however, a fine trail of smoke drifting towards the ceiling, giving off some sort of smell in the room.
 
Most likely it was something else to improve the bad
qí
I left behind
, he thought.

Mack crossed his arms on the uppermost rung of the chair back and rested his chin on his crossed forearms.
 
He watched Cassie inhale then exhale.
 
Mingzhu was right.
 
He carried bad
qí
and he either needed to figure out how to fix it, or let Cassie go, regardless of the stigma.
 
She did not deserve being continually hurt.
 
Mack replayed the words Mikala, Tessa, and Gabe had thrown at him over and over.
 
Deep down, he knew they were correct, but between that knowledge and his heart was a chasm so wide and deep he didn’t know if love would be enough to breach it.
 
Did he love Cassie?
 
He pondered it a moment.
 
He thought he might, but what did he have to use as a guide?
 
Laird McKenzie and his mother?
 
The previous Duke and Duchess of Hawkescliffe?

“You have all your friends and their wives, you idiot,” he whispered to himself.

Cassie’s eyes fluttered at his words.
 
He remained silent hoping she would go back to sleep, but she didn’t.
 
Her eyes opened, and she blinked a few times before she focused on him.

“Hello,” he said softly.

“‘Lo,” she managed to get out.
 
“Water.”

He stood and stepped around the chair.
 
He took the glass of water on her side table and lifted her head so that she could take a sip.
 
“Better?”

“Yes.”
 

He gently laid her head back down, replaced the glass, and reassumed the spot he had vacated.

“Staring.”

“I’m worried about you.
 
What causes these?”

“Stress.”

“Does it still hurt?”

“Yes, but not as bad.”

“I’ve been an arse to you,” Mack said.
 
He watched one lone tear slip down her temple and get lost in the silvery blonde strands of her hair.
 
“No more tears,” he said, reaching out and erasing the track.
 
“Mikala and Tessa told me about the debutantes.”

“Shouldn’t have.”

“They said you were something to behold.”

“Horrible.
 
I want no part of society.”

He saw her wince and could see the blood rapidly pounding at the base of her throat.
 
“Shhh, calm down.
 
Breath slow and easy, that’s it,” he coaxed as he took her hand in his.
 
His thumb slowly stroked the back of her hand.
 
“I want to talk to you about something, but I don’t want you to get upset.”
 

“I’ll try.”

“We found the note in the coach.”
 
He watched her, but her face remained placid.

“Wanted to spare you.”

“What were you planning on doing?”

“Nothing.”

“And is that why you crumpled it up and stuffed it betwixt the seat and the carriage wall?”

“Exhausted and head still hurts,” she said, slipping her hand free of his.

“Cassie, we can’t not talk about this.”
 
He watched her close her eyes, her face revealing nothing of what she thought or felt.
 
Mack continued to sit there and watch her until her breathing deepened.
 
He believed her finally asleep.
 
“They told me you loved me.
 
Either they lied or I’ve already destroyed whatever you felt.”
 
The chair screeched just slightly along the floor as he stood.
 
He crossed the room and returned to his, leaving the door open so that he could see if someone entered or exited her room.

***

Cassie had somehow kept herself together.
 
Kept from showing him how she truly felt.
 
Kept the love for him trapped deep within her.
 
She had wanted to scream at him at the top of her lungs that she loved him with every fiber of her being, but she was a death sentence for him.
 
She had already lost one person that she loved to this madman, she would not lose another.
 

Cassie watched Mack through the open door.
 
She felt like a voyeur watching her own husband.
 
He took off his robe and draped it over the end of his bed.
 
Mack left on his pants as he climbed on top of the bed.
 
He did not pull the covers over him, and the little splash of moonlight spotlighted his naked chest, making her body pulse with awareness.

“I love you, Mack,” she whispered so very softly.
 
“You’ll never know just how much I love you.”
 
Eventually, her eyes drifted closed.

***

Mack stayed close to home the next day.
 
He solicitously checked in on Cassie throughout the day, who still had a mild headache and was emotionally and physically drained.
 
On one occasion, he sat at the feminine desk located in her room with papers spread all over and spilling onto the floor.
 
Maps also lay scattered on the floor.
 
The drapes were pulled open wide, letting sun into the room, so he could work.
 
To protect Cassie’s eyes from the brightness of the room, a cloth soaked in lavender water rested across them, blocking out the light.

A soft humming reached Cassie’s ears, pulling her from the depths of sleep.
 
She remained silent and still so as not to alarm the person in the room with her.
 
The depth and huskiness of the voice told her it was her husband humming the song.
 
Cassie found herself enchanted.
 
Suddenly the music stopped.

“I know you’re awake,” Mack said softly.
 
“Ach, so this is how it’s going to be,” he continued when she remained silent.
 
“Your breathing pattern has changed, so you might as well admit you’re awake beneath that cloth.”

“I am,” Cassie replied.
 
She heard a chair scrape across the floor and a few moments later the bed depressed beside her.
 
Taking a deep breath, she could smell the scent of sandalwood he wore mixed with the lavender cloth covering her eyes.
 
The combination was erotic and made Cassie’s pulse race.
 
The cloth was slowly pulled away, giving her eyes time to adjust to the light in the room.

“How are you feeling?” sincerity laced his voice.

“Better.
 
Lethargic, but I’ll live.”

“Thank goodness.
 
When I walked in last night and saw all those pins sticking out of you, I thought they were killing you.”
 
Mack picked up her hand and threaded his fingers through hers.

“It’s strange to say the least, but it helps so much in the end…” she shrugged.
 
“What was that song you were humming?”

“Just something my mother used to hum to us children at night to get us to sleep.
 
The Laird did not like his time with mother interrupted, so she would put us down as soon as possible.”

“He was a beast, wasn’t he?”

Mack shrugged.
 
“I’m tired of this topic.
 
He has ruined enough of my life and I refuse to give him an opportunity to ruin anymore of it.
 
It seems that I need to thank you.”

“For?”

“Mikala and Tessa told me about the girls and how you stood up to them.”

“Oh, that.”
 
Cassie eyed the bedcover and nervously plucked at it.

“Aye, that.
 
Look at me,” he quietly ordered.

She looked up into his eyes and saw the silvery depths sparkle with something she was very much afraid to put a name to or hope for.
 
He moved in low, one hand braced beside her head on the pillow, the other still entwined with hers.

“Cassie, I—” A quick succession of taps on the door, followed by it opening, interrupted his words.

“What is it, Chilton?”

“I’m sorry, sir.
 
A man just delivered this.” He held out a note for Mack.
 
“He said it was an emergency and to give it to you right away.”

“Thank you, Chilton.”
 
He opened the envelope and quickly scanned the contents.
 
“Chilton, have John meet me in my room.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What’s wrong?” Cassie inquired after Chilton left.

“A new development that must be addressed immediately.
 
Cassie, there are things I need to tell you.
 
Things that we need to discuss.”

“There will be time later,” she said.
 
“Right now, the country needs you.”

He bent over her, kissing her with passion and promise.
 
“I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“I know you will.”

“Promise me you won’t leave me.
 
Not until we talk.”

“I promise,” she replied somewhat sadly.

***

Three days passed and Mack had yet to come home.
 
Each day he sent a note with a carrier.
 
Often he requested she send something back from all of those scattered papers and maps he had left in her bedroom where he had been working.
 
She had truly believed they were finding their way to each other when the war had cruelly interceded.
 
Resigned, she realized it would always be like this as long as England found itself involved in wars.
 
She decided that she would enjoy the time they were together.
 
When they were apart she would fill her time with her causes and her writing.

Cassie sat in the study, the sun streamed through the windows.
 
She glanced up from her writing and saw the clouds rolling in.
 
It looked as if they would be in for a thunderstorm this evening.
 
She sat staring out the window for some time, lost in thought, when a tapping sound pulled her out of her daze.
 

“Yes?”

“The afternoon’s post, ma’am.”
 

“Thank you, Chilton.”

“My pleasure.”
 

Cassie had to admit, she found it rather nice having more than just herself and Chang to rely on to keep the house operational.
 
Did that make her a hypocrite against what she advocated?
 
She certainly hoped not.
 
There were notes from both Tessa and Mikala asking after her health.
 
Both women wished for her to come visit them.
 
She would have to have them over for tea one afternoon, she decided.
 
There were several missives for Mack, which she set aside.