Seduced by the Gladiator (17 page)

Some of the men had been in the enclosed sands, but they moved about without purpose, and I saw that the doctore was not there to direct the drills.

But as soon as he entered the clearing, walking down the steep stairs that led from the balcony above, I felt nerves flutter across my flesh. Before I could wonder what was going on, or could ponder the identity of my nighttime visitor and what those footsteps had signified, I was taken upstairs by the doctore yet again. Now I stood in the office of the dominus, with the man himself . . . and with Christus.

“What has happened?” Though I spoke to my master, it was Christus at whom I looked.

He returned my stare, but his expression was uneasy.

My heart began to thud faster than was comfortable.

“Lilia.” My name was spoken as a reprimand, for I had spoken impertinently, questioning the dominus.

“Apologies.” I did not mean it.

“We must hurry, before Gaius rises.” The dominus looked at me pointedly as he ran fingers through nut-brown hair that needed to be washed. Though I blanched as my master spoke the name of my tormentor, I also fixed him with a look that surely told him volumes about my feelings on his betrayal.

He flushed, guiltily, I thought, but his words were harsh. “You overstep, gladiator.” I felt as if I had been hit, until I understood that the man was attempting to distance himself from me, trying to lessen his affection.

After all, it was very likely that I was about to die.

“I have been hearing rumors of an affair between two of my gladiators.” The dominus pinned me with that look, that intelligent stare that had caught my attention so many years ago in the market. He was certain of whatever he was about to say.

“I did not believe that Lilia, the meek girl who fought so hard to reach the top, to ensure her safety, would be so foolish as to weaken herself with a romance.” The dominus sounded disappointed, and I felt anger begin to percolate.

Who was he to judge me? He had no idea of what I had lived through.

“Even when I saw how the two of you were together, I did not think that you would have fallen prey to an affair, Lilia.” The mouth of the dominus was pinched—he was not pleased with me. “I have always been so proud of you, of how you fought through the challenges that Bavarius and others cast your way. And then you give him ammunition like this.”

I stilled as the words sank in.

“You knew?” My voice was no more than a whisper. “You knew what Bavarius did to me?”

The dominus looked peevish, and I understood in a flash that I had been wrong all along. Though surely there were worse masters that I could have had, this man had never seen me as a person. I was just a slave to him, a way to put coin in his pocket.

“You knew this, and did nothing to stop it?” This time it was Christus who spoke, and I could hear the barely suppressed rage in his voice. The dominus arched a brow, but I was not subdued by the reminder of our status.

“I had no reason to. I knew that fighting through it on her own would make her stronger. I was right.” The dominus clasped his fingers together tightly, then unclasped them again. “And after all of that, Lilia, you find a weakness, and show it to the others. I had the doctore make certain last night, and if he heard you, then you can be certain the other men have as well.”

The doctore had been the one outside our room—and he had reported straight back to the dominus.

I felt sick as the list of betrayals continued to grow.

“Christus had just shared an interesting story with me, Lilia.” Casting a sidelong look at my lover, I fisted my fingers in the leather of my subligaculum. I did not know how much more my nerves could take.

“Yes, Dominus?” Even before I knew what he had done, I felt the kindling of anger at Christus.

I knew, just knew, that he had attempted to shield me from the Battle of Gaius. To do so was in his very nature, and I could no longer blame the man for that. But whatever he had done should have been discussed with me first. After what he had shared with me the night before, I had thought that that would have been obvious.

“Christus tells me that you are expecting his child.”

My mouth fell open, and I felt the insane urge to laugh. Whatever I had been expecting, this had most certainly not been it.

“I . . . I do not know what to say, Dominus.” Incredulous, I turned to Christus. His narrowed eyes warned me not to argue.

I could not lie.

“This is not so, Dominus, and my apologies. Christus is misinformed.” As I spoke, I realized that my lover could be punished for creating the story, and angry as I was at him for the secrecy, I did not want that. I added hastily, “Perhaps he merely hoped he had passed on his seed, as all men do.”

Christus looked as if he might throttle me. The dominus sighed and, leaning back in his wooden chair, massaged his temples with his fingers.

“I know that you are not with child, Lilia. Not with Christus’ babe, and certainly not with that of anyone else.” While I gaped at him, he exchanged a look with Christus, then settled his chair back on the floor with a slam.

“How would you know that?” Now that I knew that the dominus himself had spies in the ludus, ones who recorded every nuance of our daily lives, no matter how intimate, the question was superfluous, but I still had to ask.

“You have never once had courses since the day that you came to the ludus, Lilia, the day that you began to train as a gladiator.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. It was not something of which I often thought, but the man spoke the truth.

The grueling physical activity and the severely restricted diet had halted my courses long ago. I had suspected vaguely that this was an impediment to conception, but again, it had not been a concept on which I had dwelled.

Thinking quickly back to Bavarius and his early treatment of me, I felt that this had been a blessing.

“I do not know what to say.” Since it seemed that the dominus was trying to give up on me at any rate, I turned to Christus and spoke freely. “Why would you tell our master such a thing?”

Christus’ face darkened with anger. I knew, of course, exactly why he would concoct this tale. He was hoping that Gaius would take pity on a woman who was with child, and that he would exempt me from the games. That he would choose someone else—someone like Christus, who I knew would volunteer to take my place before anyone else could even draw in a breath.

“You have made a mess of things.” I hissed the words out angrily, glaring at my lover as I addressed him.

What I knew that Christus did not was what I had seen in the eyes of the man-child the night before. There was no sanity in the noble, and no pity either. He would not think twice about throwing his supposedly pregnant obsession into the games.

Though it had not at all been what he meant, Christus’ actions had solidified my fate . . . at least, if the dominus were to tell Gaius of this conversation.

I had one idea left. Against everything that I tried to tell it, my heart leapt with hope.

“Please, Dominus. I beg it of you.” I thought about dropping to my knees to demonstrate devotion, but the dominus knew me far too well—he would know that it was naught but a display. “Do not speak to Gaius of this story. Do you not see? I know that any hope I have of escaping these games is slim, a whisper, really, but if you tell him of this, then even that goes away.”

“You do not know of what you speak!” Christus’ words were colored crimson with his anger. “This could save you. This could keep you alive, woman!”

“Enough!” Standing abruptly, the dominus slapped his palms down flat on the desk. “Lilia, I do not wish to see you participate in this sham of a competition any more than your champion here does. Entirely apart from any affection that I have held for you over the years, if you die, I lose the gladiator who brings in most of the coin to this household. I have children to feed, a ludus to run. My wife desires many fine things, and I enjoy having wine on hand to drink. If you die, much of that is gone.”

I ground my teeth together. I did not like being viewed as a commodity, though I knew that, to most Romans, that was my sole purpose.

The dominus pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb as I exchanged a helpless look with Christus, who was clearly still furious with me. I opened my mouth to speak, but my master spoke first.

“I do not know what to do, Lilia. As you saw last night, I have no power to control the man.” I narrowed my eyes and bit my tongue, for I wanted to retort that he could not have known if he had any power, for he had not tried to exert any.

“Dominus—”

“What a lovely surprise.” A shudder ran through me—I would have known that voice anywhere, burned as it now was into my brain. How the man could have wrought such fear from me when he had yet to touch me, I did not know, but as soon as he entered the small office, I began to tremble.

Though I made certain to stare straight ahead, Gaius crossed directly to me and tilted my chin up with one finger pressed beneath it. His hands were cold, and I tamped down the urge to bite that finger right off.

He forced me to look into his eyes. They had not changed from the night before, even though this morning he wore at least a thin veneer of normality.

They crinkled with amusement at my obvious struggle for control of my emotions. From behind me, I heard a low growl.

Christus had noticed, as well, and he was not pleased.

“I find your trembling so very sweet.” The whisper was intimate, the tone the kind that should be reserved for lovers.

I found myself gagging. With a soft chuckle, Gaius released my chin, then sauntered the rest of the way across the office. He did not even nod at the dominus—did not acknowledge him in any way—as he propped a hip on the wood of the desk, blocking the man from my view.

“Now, what is this that I have heard from the hallway? My precious Lilia is with child?”

Frantically I turned to Christus. This situation had just spun dangerously out of control, and insane as Gaius was, I could not anticipate his response, could not decide upon the best course of action.

Gaius clearly enjoyed the wordless struggle, and his face contorted with mirth. When he had finished laughing, he fixed me with that stare of his, the one that managed to hit without a hand ever being raised.

“Do not lie to me, Lilia. I was outside the room when Christus made his confession to Philipus here.” His eyes narrowed, and I knew that he was not pleased. “You have been naughty, my little Lilia. Fucking a gladiator behind your master’s back.” He cheapened it with so few words, made the bond that I shared with my gladiator nothing more than a quick fuck. “If this were my ludus, I would punish you for such behavior. Punish you in so many delicious ways.”

My stomach rolled, and I very nearly dry heaved. I now knew precisely what Gaius considered punishment, and it was something that he appeared to very much enjoy.

“Do not touch her!”

I cried out as Christus lost control. Flying from the corner of the room, he shoved me behind him, his teeth bared in a feral snarl.

“You will not touch her!”

“This is the little papa, I take it?” Seeing the two men beside each other, I saw that they could not have been more different. Christus was large where Gaius was smaller and slender, and his raw physicality could clearly have ended Gaius’ life before his heart beat even once more. Any other man would have shown fear at arousing such rage in a gladiator.

Gaius was secure in his stature as the brother of the most powerful man in the Roman Empire.

“Lilia, you are meant for someone much more refined than this brute.” I reached out and ran my hands over Christus’ back, trying to calm him. Challenging a patrician of such high rank could not possibly end well. Instead I found myself absorbing some of his rage, and I glowered at Gaius, my hands clenching tightly into fists.

“I am a brute myself, Gaius.” I used the man’s first name deliberately to show my lack of respect. “I kill. It is what I do. Do you not remember?”

For the very first time, I saw a flicker of what I was certain was fear. It passed over Gaius’ face so quickly that I could quite easily have imagined it. Then he was again smooth, smiling at the two of us grimly.

“This is the very reason that I cannot exclude you from these arena games, Lilia.” Though I had known that this was inevitable, I still felt panic at his words. I could not go, not unless I could win. I would
not
be separated from Christus by death.

Gaius continued, looking back and forth between my lover and myself.

“No, I certainly cannot exclude you from the games. Your loveliness is far too large of a draw. I need an exceptional turnout, you see. I am paying a small fortune to please the people of Rome with these munera. I have plans, large plans, and I need them to think of me with favor.”

“Fine.” My anger had been awoken, and it burned away my fear. I was Lilia, the only female gladiator in Rome. I had survived among men far stronger than this bastard, and I had done more than survive—I had thrived.

“I will compete. I will win.” I smiled slowly, and was rewarded again with that tinge of fear. I saw that it was twined tightly with excitement—sexual excitement—and I felt sick.

“I will kill them all. I am very good at killing.” At that moment I would have given anything to feel the cool press of a sword in my hand. Yes, a sword, a knife, a blade of any kind.

If ever anyone deserved to die, it was this man who stood before me.

I watched as he tamped down his twisted excitement, schooling his features into a mask of sympathy.

“No, I cannot deprive the people of Rome of your charm, lovely Lilia.” I wanted to spit on the floor at the endearment. Then Gaius shifted his attention from me to the barely restrained gladiator that I held in my arms, and a sense of foreboding washed over me in a flash.

“But neither can I part a father from his babe, even one that is yet unborn.” I heard a sharp intake of breath from behind Gaius; even the dominus was unable to continue hiding his distaste.

I continued to glower at Gaius, but against Christus’ shoulders, I felt my palms grow slick with cold sweat. I knew what Gaius would say before the words had actually fallen from his lips.