Secrets (The Secret Series Book 1) (9 page)

“Sorry, I haven’t even thought about that. How are you doing?” He hadn’t had the luxury of time to heal properly, not to mention falling off a cliff and then over the waterfall. Both things couldn’t have been good for the knife wound and I could see on his face that he was showing some remarkable resolve to keep the pain down. “All this must have taken a toll on you. You will need real medical help to fix that wound real soon.”

“I’m fine and as long as I don’t think about it. I can’t feel the pain.” I wasn’t sure if I believed him or not. Plus I mistakenly looked over his direction to see the presence of his love muscle pumping inside his pants like it had its own pulse. “I just want to get this over with and never have to think about it again. I basically ruined my career and the only thing I can do after this is over is to go on early retirement and disappear. I’ve known this day was coming, but I had no idea that it was going to be so soon. Thankfully, I took precautions for this moment and I have plenty of money in an offshore account that should keep me going for the rest of my life. That’s if I don’t become extravagant and start spending it too quickly, but that really isn’t the type of person that I am. I’m a minimalist and I live on the bare necessities and not beyond my means.”

I couldn’t exactly say the same thing, because I like to go occasionally and have something to eat at a good restaurant. Of course, that would cost me over $50.00 or more, but it was worth it to experience the flavors and ambiance of a new restaurant that just opened up. I’m a foodie, somebody that liked to have new and interesting things dance on my palate. Right now I could see something else that I would love to have linger on the edge of my tongue. I was doing my best to stop myself from giving into temptation, but he was right there and was looking so manly.

I didn’t think that I went for that rugged, steel jawed look, but the combination of that and his cobalt blue eyes and I was literally gaga for this man. I didn’t want to be, but I didn’t have the power to resist the charms of this dangerous and exciting man. “I wish that you would stop staring at me like that, because you’re making me feel like I’m a piece of meat.” I didn’t realize that I was staring, but I also knew that he was only having fun at my expense.
 

He shifted in his seat a little and I was soon rewarded with his elongated cock unfurling before my eyes. It appeared to me that he was just as excited by having me close to him, as I was having him close to me. That at least gave me the courage to reach out and touch it, watching as it flexed against my fingers and hearing the telltale sign of his arousal coming from his sexy lips. “I can’t help it that I’m attracted to you and if you were a real man, you would stop me before I did anything that I regretted.”

There was no way that he was going to let this opportunity slip out of his fingers, but then again maybe that was me, as my fingers were now moving his zipper down very slowly. I’ve never given a blow job to a man while he was driving and it was kind of exciting to think that we could crash. I was using that to feed my desire, reaching into the opening and feeling the hotness of his shaft. I gave it a few tentative strokes; just to see what would happen and it didn’t at all surprise me that he was already as hard as stone.

Pulling it out, it was now like his cock was the siren of the sea and was now drawing me ever closer towards it with its song. I knew that there was no sound coming from it, but it felt like I had no control over what I was going to do next. He had betrayed me in the worst way possible and was about to kill me, yet here I was not more than a few inches away from slipping my lips over top of his crown. There was no rhyme or reason for what I was doing, only that it was an urge that I felt deep down inside that couldn’t be satiated without at least extending my tongue.

I looked up to see that he was trying to concentrate on what he was doing, keeping his eyes on the road but still casually looking down to watch my hand moving ever slowly up and down his length. I was using the product of his excitement to slicken the surface, salivating at the very chance to put that thing back into my mouth. It had already been an hour since we’ve done anything together and I now had this ache that needed to be filled immediately. There was no denying that this was wrong on so many levels, but my body was screaming out to do this and I wasn’t about to deny myself the chance.

“Jason, I still don’t like you very much and what I’m about to do doesn’t take away from the betrayal that I feel.” I just wanted him to know that this wasn’t love, but maybe that was my way of trying to convince myself. “You were about to kill me and I’m not sure if I can ever forgive you.” I moved a little closer and could smell the muskiness of his loins, making my eyes flutter like I was on some kind of drug. If he was my drug of choice, then I could certainly see myself getting lost in the sexual delights that we could find in each other’s bodies.

Extending my tongue, I licked around the top, getting a good taste of what he’d left there for me. It was more than enough to make me want to go after more from the source and god help me, I let all caution fly to the wayside, as I engulfed his cock. I tried my best to accommodate it all, but it wasn’t going to happen. In this position where I was lying across the seat, I could barely get 6 inches, let alone the whole thing, but it was still more than enough to satisfy my craving. I’ve never felt like this with a man before and it was a little hard to take that he could have that kind of effect on me. The strong unyielding presence of his cock in my mouth was making me feel like I could fall for him all over again.

“Shit… I really wish that you wouldn’t do that and I know that I could stop you, but I don’t want to.” His hips were coming off of the chair instinctively and he was matching me, until finally we were joining forces to find his release. “That mouth should be registered as a lethal weapon, because no man could resist the feel of that…heat and…ahhh…tightness.” I loved that he was praising my skills, yet at the same time it felt demeaning. However, this had nothing to do with equal rights and just this overwhelming desire to consume him.

With each small droplet that landed on my tongue, it turned me into a ravenous animal that couldn’t stop until I got what I wanted. Back at that farmhouse, I had succumbed to my baser instincts, letting nature take its course. I’d taken what I wanted from a man who was in no position to deny me anything. I don’t think he even knew what he was doing. He probably thought it was some kind of dream. It was probably only after the fact that he realized what had happened, but so far he hadn’t mentioned.

The shaft was rubbing up and down my slick tongue and I was doing everything in my power to release the frustration of the day. I wanted what was now building and I wasn’t going to be satisfied until I had every single drop. My life was on the line and right now all I cared about was sucking this man dry.

“AHHHHHH.” It came over him so quickly. I could feel his release with several spurts cascading over my tongue and into the back of my mouth. I savored every moment of this heat with him, until finally he was finished. I kind of wished that it had lasted longer, but I was unable to keep teasing him. This was one of those spontaneous moments that would live with me forever. Even though I didn’t see myself as this type of woman, didn’t mean that I didn’t want to try it again.

I licked him clean, making sure that there was nothing left, before finally placing him back into his pants. “I can’t believe that I did that.”

“You and me both, Larissa and I hope that you don’t regret it. I don’t want to hurt you, but it seems everything I do does just that. I think that we have something very special but I don’t think that we can take it much further. After this is over, I am going to be out of your life for good, because they will continue to hunt me until the very day I die. I don’t believe that we’ll ever see each other again. You don’t know how much it pains me to have to put you through all this. I’m not one to deviate from a plan, but you’ve given me a new purpose and a new reason to think differently for the first time in my life. Back there, I would’ve normally killed them, but you made me think about their lives and the family’s that they have. I’m not sure that getting in touch with my humanity is a good idea, but I can’t go back now.”

He was telling me that I was responsible for him becoming a better man and he may as well laid his heart on his sleeve for all to see. I couldn’t stay mad at him, not after such a declaration and that confession alone had shown me that he wasn’t as bad as I thought he was. Perhaps, there was something to save after all and maybe I was the one that had the capability of changing him for the better.

“I don’t know what to say Jason. I feel for you but that doesn’t mean that I can ever truly forgive you. You betrayed me and were going to kill me. That’s not something I can easily forget, but you’ve given me food for thought.” Putting my finger to my lips, I found a lost errant drop of his seed, wiping it off and putting into my mouth. I needed to have him again. It felt like he was an addictive drug that I couldn’t shake.

“I can’t forgive myself, so how could I think that you’d forgive me. I was this close to ending your life Larissa. You’re an amazing woman and you’ve made me see that you’re not just another victim. You aren’t a faceless mark, but instead you showed me who you were on the inside. I’ve never experienced that before and it awakened a part of me that I thought was long dead and buried. I didn’t want to let that side of myself reemerge, but you easily pulled that out of me with just one look.”
 

I was flabbergasted and he literally had me speechless. There was really nothing that I could say that could match up to what he had just said to me, so I sat there and reached over and held his hand in mine. At that moment, actions were more needed than words and the feeling of his fingers entwining around mine only confirmed that he had fallen for me as well. I guess love is deaf, blind and stupid. This was a dangerous man that killed for a living and yet here I was falling for him.

Chapter Eleven

We arrived at the university just in time for classes to begin, making it easy to mingle with the masses, as they went from one class to the other. “We can’t talk to her until she is done with her class, but we can sit in and make sure that we aren’t being followed. If anybody can tell us what that woman said to you with her dying breath, it’ll be her. She’s been studying ancient arts and languages for a very long time and has accumulated a good ear for languages. I usually use her when it’s necessary to translate some kind of dialect that I haven’t heard of before or have never spoken.”

“I would ask how many times you have gone on missions, but something tells me that I don’t want to know. I’m also curious about how many people you’ve killed in this profession, but once again, something tells me but I don’t want to know. You’d probably tell me that if you told me that you’d have to kill me.” He smiled and pointed his finger to his nose, before we went into this auditorium that was surrounded by people. I don’t know how anybody got any studying done or learned anything in this kind of environment, but this was the way of the world.

“She’s not going to be very happy to see me, because we kind of left things on shaky ground. She knew what I did for a living and yet she still tried to convince me to quit. This is the only thing that I know how to do, although it’s starting to look like I won’t be able to do it for much longer. If I left, I’d probably miss everything about it. However, now you’ve opened my eyes to the fact that everybody has a right to live. I’m not sure if I could even do one assignment let alone many.” I still wasn’t sure if he was playing me like a fiddle even though I’m usually a pretty good judge of character.

Even from the moment that we had met while he was portraying somebody else at the time, I could see that there was goodness inside him that just needed somebody to blow on it to keep the flame alive. I could also see that something was haunting him. I thought it might’ve been a pass love and not those faces that had been burned into his psyche after each kill. Being in love with this dangerous man was not really my idea of a good time, but it wasn’t like I could just shut that part of myself down.

“Great, so not only do I have to worry about somebody trying to kill me, but now I have to worry about a jilted lover that’s not going to like having me taking her place.” It was one of those secrets that I didn’t want to know. I had no interest in drama and sometimes that’s even worse than looking down the barrel of a gun. I get so flustered when I am confronted by somebody that is angry that I just unleashed a barrage of filthy words that would make a sailor blush. It doesn’t happen very often and I think some of my friends have learned to hold their tongue.
 

I saw her coming out onto the stage, her blue blouse opened at the first couple of buttons to indicate cleavage, although she really didn’t compare to what I had going for me. She was the type of woman that men would gravitate toward because she moved with a raw sexuality that was very hard to deny. “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s so nice that you were able to make it in this lecture on the social economics of feminism in this century.” She talked for over an hour and despite my misgivings about meeting her, I could see that she was well put together and had a good head on her shoulders.

“When she gets going, there’s virtually nothing that can stop her until she is finished her thought. I find her fascinating and it's the reason why I come back to town from time to time. Those are times that she doesn’t even know that I am in the audience and that’s the way that I want to keep it.” I could see that this woman did a real number on him and was most likely the reason why he was so cold and distant, even though there were telltale signs of his feelings for me. I didn’t know if I could trust him, but when did love have anything to do with trust.

“She has a way of keeping me on the edge of my seat and compelling me to listen to every single word that is coming out of her mouth.” I didn’t want to like her, but it was hard not to, when she was so damn good at what she did. When I was in university there wasn’t a teacher alive that had that kind of charisma that challenged students to think for themselves. She’s a cut above the rest and made most teachers pale by comparison.