Secrets of the Lynx (13 page)

“Sometimes I think you’re wrapped way too tight.”

“You think too much,” she countered, then took off at a fast clip, hurdling the low metal gate designed to keep vehicle traffic off the foot trail.

He caught up easily in a few seconds, laughing. “I
think
too much?”

She increased her speed, though it was tough going on that winding cobblestone trail, and evened her breathing. She intended to jog at least an hour. Unless she was close to exhaustion by the time they finished, she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.

After ten minutes she realized that she was setting the pace. “Am I going too fast?”

“Not at all. I’m just enjoying the view from back here.”

She slowed down immediately. “Why don’t we run side by side...unless you want to drop out now,” she added, immediately contrite. “I have no idea what kind of rehab program you’re following.”

“Why are you worried?” He came up beside her, his voice not at all winded. “Do I look out of shape?”

She didn’t have to glance over to answer. “Far from it.”

“Then don’t worry about me. Choose whatever pace you’re used to following. I’ll keep up.”

“I run three or four hours a week,” she said.

“So it’s not that far then.”

Now she’d done it. Her competitive nature would never let her quit first—and clearly neither would his.

After another half hour, halfway around the big loop that wound up and down both banks of the cold river, she glanced over at Paul. To her annoyance, he wasn’t even breathing hard.

“You look as if we’ve been out on a stroll, not running up and down these inclines. That’s some stamina,” she said.

“When I was living on the Rez my brothers and I would race each other up and down the canyon trails. It was a great way to work off excess energy and stay fit. The closest gym was at the high school, and that was thirty miles away. Most of the time we didn’t have the gas money for trips like that, so we worked out at home.”

“You mentioned that sometimes you were completely broke and had to go hungry,” she said, hoping he’d talk about himself a bit more.

“That was before the foster homes, and before I went to live with
Hosteen
Silver.”

“Life must have been tough when you were a kid.” She slowed down without even realizing it, more interested in their conversation than in jogging.

“I guess. My mom did her best, but she was barely sixteen when she got pregnant. She quit high school to have me, so she never graduated. She took whatever jobs she could find, kitchen help, cleaning, stuff like that. By the time I turned eight she just gave up. I think she was ill, cancer or something like that. One day she dropped me off at a fire station, and I never saw her again. New Mexico Children, Youth and Families Department took custody after that.”

He’d been matter-of-fact, and the only indication that the past still caused him pain was that he’d increased his pace, as if he were trying to outrun the memory.

“Eight years old is so young,” she said, trying to keep up with him. She wouldn’t offer him sympathy she knew he didn’t want, but she could show him support by just staying beside him. “Did you know at the time that she wouldn’t be coming back?”

“No. We’d taken the bus, and when she dropped me off, she handed me a sealed envelope. I was supposed to give it to the first fireman I saw. Later I found out it was a letter relinquishing custody of me. For a long time, I kept thinking she’d come back for me after she got better. It never happened.”

“Did you ever find out what happened to her?” she asked, increasing her pace to match his.

“Not for years. I figured since she’d thrown me away, there was nothing for me to find.” He slowed down, and their pace returned to a fast jog. “Eventually I found out that she passed away about six months after she left me at the fire station.”

Although Paul’s words held no trace of emotion, the revelation stunned her. She’d known about the wound on his shoulder, but the scars he bore inside went far deeper than any bullet ever could.

Somehow the moon, the darkness and the physical exertion had worked a magic all their own and helped her see a side of him she doubted many ever saw.

“It’s a beautiful night. Let’s just enjoy the moonlight for a while,” she said, slowing down to a walk.

“Tired?”

“Me? No, not at all,” she said, unwilling to admit it. Realizing he was going to speed up again, she bit back a groan. “Slow down anyway. I’m tired of being in a hurry. The pressure to get there first is part of everything I seem to be doing lately.”

“I get that,” he said, and slowed to a walk. “The urge to see the payoff at the end of the line is always there. It can make the journey nothing short of a test of endurance.”

“Yeah, it feels like that sometimes. Even in my private life I’m always racing to reach a new goal.”

“Like what?” His voice was softer now, gentle.

“I’ve been looking into adoption,” she said, liking the way he’d stepped closer to her. She could feel the warmth of his body wrapping itself around her, and the way he was looking at her made her tingle all the way down to her toes.

She looked away and struggled to clear her thinking. “There are some holdbacks I’ve yet to work out, but I’m not giving up on the idea.”

“Why not just have a baby of your own?”

To her credit, she didn’t sigh, but it took a concerted effort not to look at him. “I’ve considered that, but, to me, adoption is the way to go.”

“How come?”

“It’s complicated,” she said.

“We’ve got time.” Seeing her hesitate, he added, “We need to get to know each other, Kendra. Working as partners, even for who knows how long, means we have to learn to trust each other all the way. I don’t like talking about my past, but I’ve told you a little about myself. Now it’s your turn. Help us maintain the balance between us. By doing that, you’ll also be honoring Navajo ways.”

“All right,” she said after a moment. “It all goes back to the days where ’home’ was wherever the colonel’s change of station took us. We traveled all over the world. One of the things I learned back then was that in an amazing number of countries poor kids have no chance, no future. Toddlers and their mothers would be living on the streets, and older kids sometimes completely on their own.”

She paused, then in a soft voice, continued. “I know I can’t change the world, but maybe I can make a difference in one life. International adoptions are complicated, but someday that’s what I’d like to do.”

“There are kids in our own country who could use a loving home. Look at my brothers and me.
Hosteen
Silver changed our lives. He gave us a future.”

“I know,” she said quietly, “but in the U.S. babies and toddlers are harder to find, and preference is usually given to two-parent homes.”

“You’re not planning to marry?”

“It’s not that I’ve ruled it out, but there’s no man in my life and I don’t know if there ever will be,” she said. “A single-parent adoption, particularly for someone in my profession, is difficult. I’ve got practically no chance in the U.S.”

“Yeah, running down fugitives, transporting prisoners, and having to travel halfway across the country at a moment’s notice could be real tough for a single parent.”

“I’ve taken all that into account myself. That’s one of the reasons I haven’t gone any further than fact-finding. I have a lot of things to work out first.”

Aware of how much she’d revealed about herself, she suddenly grew quiet. It had been way too easy to open up to Paul. His nearness, the sound of his low, sexy voice, and the quiet beauty of the
bosque
trail had conspired against her.

Soon after they’d rounded a curve in the trail, the
bosque
became increasingly dense. She picked up the pace. “We’re hemmed in here, and I can’t see into the trees. Tactically, this isn’t a good place for us.”

She’d barely finished speaking when they both heard a deep catlike growl coming from the brush to the right of the cobblestone path. All she could see was a dark shape and two amber eyes gleaming in the moonlight.

Kendra reached for her gun slowly, glad she always carried her weapon, even when off duty. If the animal attacked she’d be able to defend Paul and herself.

“Don’t. We’re in no danger,” he said in a barely audible voice.

“It’s a wildcat and it’s coming toward us.”

“It won’t harm us.”

Paul stepped in front of Kendra and pulled out the leather cord he wore around his neck. Something hung from it, but she couldn’t make out what it was. A good luck charm? She preferred bullets. Her gaze shifted back to what appeared to be a bobcat that was advancing silently toward them with graceful but deliberate strides.

Paul took another step toward it, effectively blocking the creature’s path. “Go your way and walk in beauty, my brother.”

Kendra kept her hand on the grip of her pistol, but, to her surprise, the animal stopped its advance. It seemed to nod, though it was probably just a twitch, then turned away and walked off into the undergrowth.

It wasn’t until the cat had disappeared completely that she finally drew in a full breath. “Guess we’re too big to take on.”

“That wasn’t it. He never intended to attack. The cat came out to honor the connection between him and me. The animal kingdom is more attuned to things like that than the Anglo world is.” Paul fell into step beside her. “What amazes me is that he approached even though there were two of us.”

“I don’t understand what you mean when you say you two are connected. Do you think the cat saw you as a friend?”

“No, not exactly. It’s more, and less, than that.” He took off the leather cord from around his neck and showed her the small fetish that hung from it. “It’s a lynx, carved from oak.
Hosteen
Silver gave it to me right before I left to join the marshals service. Although all my brothers had their fetishes given to them on or around their sixteenth birthday, mine remained uncarved until that day.”

“Was he punishing you for something?” They were walking side by side now, close enough to touch, but not doing so despite the temptation.

“No, not punishing—teaching. You see, I’d always played things close to my chest, and I guess that made me hard to read. On my sixteenth birthday he told me that I was still a work in progress. Until I became the man I was meant to be, he couldn’t be sure which fetish would be the right spiritual match for me. Then, a few days before I was scheduled to report to the USMS training academy in Georgia,
Hosteen
Silver had a very vivid dream. He told me about it. He said he saw a beautiful lynx walking ahead of me as we went out on a hunt, so
Hosteen
Silver honored the sign and had the carving made for me from this piece of oak. I’ve worn it ever since, and as
Hosteen
Silver promised, it’s proven to be invaluable.”

“How so?” she asked. Paul’s voice drew her. She wanted to stop, hold the fetish...and him.

“It’s said that each fetish possesses the qualities of the animal it represents and shares them with its owner,” Paul said, slipping the fetish around his neck again. “Lynx knows what others try to keep secret, and sees what’s not readily apparent. That’s why Lynx is the perfect match for someone in our profession. We have to find the truth, no matter how deeply it’s hidden. We’re also hunters.”

“Maybe
I
should carry a lynx fetish,” she said. “Do you think it would work for me?”

He shook his head. “Lynx isn’t the right match for you. One of the things Lynx does is bring you knowledge that you may have forgotten about yourself. But you have no hidden past, as far as I can tell.”

“No, I don’t.”

“I’ll tell you what, then. Give me a chance to think this over, and as I get to know you better, I’ll find the right fetish animal match for you,” he said as they reached the end of the trail.

“Remind me never to say no to a run with you,” she said walking with him to his truck. “It’s been an amazing night.”

“What still surprises me is that the cat allowed you to see him. That’s not the way it normally works. I wonder what he was trying to tell me.” Looking into her eyes, Paul stepped closer to her. “What does he know about you that I don’t, Kendra?”

Everything about him enticed her and teased her senses. The fire in his eyes called to her, whispering temptation. More than anything, she wanted to feel his arms around her, to rest against his chest and enjoy the heat there.

He tilted her chin upwards, ready to cover her mouth with his.

Suddenly his cell phone rang, startling both of them.

Paul cursed, moved back a few steps, and glanced at the caller ID. “It’s Preston,” he growled.

While Paul spoke to his brother, she took a deep breath. Her body was still tingling and not from the cold. She sighed softly as she looked at Paul, wondering what his kiss would have been like. Would he have been tender at first, then rough? Would he have deepened his kiss slowly or would it have started that way?

She swallowed hard and looked at her surroundings for a moment. She had to keep her mind off Paul and on business.

“I have no idea where we’ll sleep tonight,” Paul was saying to Preston, “but it won’t be Copper Canyon. Things are happening here, so this is where we have to be, close to the action.”

The realization that, in order to stay alive, they’d have to spend the night standing guard over each other put her thoughts back on track. What had she been thinking? If there was ever a time
not
to let her guard down, this was it.

Paul hung up and glanced at her. “My brother suggested a motel that’s not too far from here. The owner is an ex-cop, and the local D.A. occasionally uses the place to sequester a jury or hide away a key witness.”

“Sounds good to me,” she said.

He brought out his truck keys and opened the doors with the remote. “You and I are up against a pro who’s getting paid for the hit. He won’t give up till it’s done.”

As she looked into Paul’s eyes, she saw a renewed sense of caution mirrored there. As much as she wanted to prolong this tender moment with him, living to take their next breath had to take priority now.