Secret Pleasures (22 page)

His hands
moved up
,
closed tightly on her shoulders
,
and Arianna was sure he would set her away from him
.
To her shock, he jerked her against him
.
He pressed a hand against her lower back, dominating the kiss and bending
them both
over the rail she had had him trapped against
.
All Arianna could do was hold onto his shoulders
.
E
very nerve ending fired in unison
.

Abruptly, just as a hot flush began to spread over her body, up her limbs, Robert jerked away and retreated to the other side of the bridge once more.

“You need to get home before your father finds you missing.
”
He hung his head over the water, breathing in the
mist from the
dark brook below.

“He thinks I’m safely locked in my room.
”
Arianna took a shaky step toward him
.
If he had experienced anything like
what
she had, he would have no choice but to kiss her again
.
“He won’t check for me until the morning
.
Is there someplace when can go
?
Where are you staying?”

He turned and she took another step towards him.

“I am staying with your future husband at Westhaven House,” he said too quietly.

“It’s a large house, isn’t it?”

“Yes it is, but not big enough for the both of us
.
I plan to clean out the rectory and move in there before you arrive.”

“You can’t, please.
”
She braved his change in mood and grabbed both his hands
.

“You ask too much of me, Miss Maddox
.
Our flirtation is over.
”
His words rang with harsh finality
,
but he did not let go of her grip.

“I want to be your lover.”

“What?
”
He tried to pull his hands from hers
,
but her
firm
gr
asp
was hard to break.

“I am no foolish girl
.
I know what I speak of.”

“No, Arianna
.
You don’t know me very well at all.”

“I shall be married to a man old enough to be my grandfather
.
Is that fair?”

“I will not cuckold my grandfather.”

“Then make love to me, now, before the wedding
.
I want you to show me what it’s like to be a woman
.
I want it to be you.”

He shook his head and took a step back
.
“I’m returning
you
to the inn and your father.”

“I love you.
”
She hated the desperation she heard in her voice.

“I am sorry if I led you astray.
”
His hard gaze was that of a stranger
.
“My feelings don’t run that deep
.
Come along
.
I have things to do tomorrow
.
I’ve no time to spend chasing after a wayward child.
”

Robert strode past her towards her equally disobedient mount.

Arianna watched his retreating form, unable to accept his cool dismissal
.
She knew t
here were worse things than being forced to marry a grumpy old man
.
She struggled not to cry
, and managed to hold
her head high
.
He
secured
her horse that had been enjoying the tender grass by the stream
, then brought it to her
.
Robert held the reins while cupping his hands to help Arianna onto the saddle.

Arianna leaped from Robert’s offered step and onto her mount
.
She kicked her heels into her horse’s side, barely avoiding running Robert over as he tried to grab for the bridle
.
The horse found the well-worn trail she
’d
followed from the inn
.
Arianna
grabbed the horse’s mane,
hung on and spurred
it
into full gallop
as the reins dangled out of reach
.
Wind and tears blinded her vision
.

The rapid beat of the horse’s hooves could not drown out the ugly truth
.
Robert did not love her, he never had and it seemed he never would.

***

Ivy listened to Darien slowly climb the pine steps to the bedroom
.
Dawn’s healing light had deserted her completely as the endless night dragged on
.
She only had to blink to adjust her sight to the darkened room and spy Melody through the
willow branches
of her crib
.
Violin music had drifted from the yard for hours
.
After a half
-
hour of silence, Ivy braced herself for Darien to finally come to bed
.

The door creaked open and Ivy closed her eyes, feigning sleep
.
She must be mistaken
.
Melody could not be Darien’s child
.
There had to be another explanation
.
There had to be.

He crept across the floorboards
.
In their short time together, she had come to recognize the sounds of his movements, a squeak here, a pop of his ankle there
.
How could she look into his eyes and not tell him her suspicions regarding Melody
?
If he thought he might have a daughter, he would be fiercely protective, claiming her to anyone who would listen
.
Unfortunately, such unbridled devotion would wreak irrevocable damage for Melody’s future
.
But did Ivy have a right to keep such information from him
?

Darien paused by the crib and stared down at Melody
.
A wound opened in Ivy’s heart that could not possibly be closed without losing her basic humanity or Melody forever
. 
Not telling Darien the truth, even if it were just suspicion, was betraying him all over again
.
But if she left for America with Melody, the daughter he would never know, Darien would truly and justly have reason to hate her.

Darien walked around to the other side of the bed
.
Diana wanted Ivy to have Melody and raise her as her own
.
That
had been
clear
.
In recalling her words, she had mentioned the child would only cause the family sorrow
.
If Darien were the father, Diana
had
not want
ed
him to know, that much was clear
.

Ivy kept her back to him, forced herself to take deep even breaths
.
His weight settled on the mattress
.
He hardly disturbed the covers as he slipped beneath them.

To withhold the truth about Melody
, if it was indeed the truth,
would ruin any chance of ever healing their long held rift
.
She would depart for America with a stain on her conscience that
she knew
would haunt her more than her broken engagement
.
Darien had made a horrible mistake in ever loving her.

Ivy shut her eyes tightly to stop the tears leaking from the corners.

Darien gently draped his arm around her, spooning behind her
.
His full erection snuggled against her backside
.
He sighed deeply and lay perfectly still.

Though his intention was obviously not to wake her, she could not feign sleep any longer
.
She turned and faced him, entwined her legs with his, parting her legs so his hard cock could find its way between her thighs.

It would have been better if Melody and Darien had never seen each other
.
They had already developed the tiniest thread of a relationship
.
How could she deny Melody a father that surely would love her
like she deserved
?

“Your father seemed upset tonight
.
About Diana
,
” Ivy blurted into the dark
.
She had to know the truth
.
It was the only way through this.

“I imagine he was
.
Westhaven abandoned her when my mother became ill.
”
Darien trailed kisses up her neck, trying to possess her mouth
.
Ivy turned her head away.

“I wonder if he knew
…
”
Ivy paused, knowing Diana would not want anyone to think her anything but a highly sought after temptress up until the very end
.
“Of her health problems,” Ivy finally said.

“It’s possible that he didn’t.
”
Darien suddenly rolled over onto his back
.
“I didn’t
.
Or rather I didn’t want to know how bad her circumstances had become
.
She claimed she moved to the East End to get away from the reporters who hounded her every move
.
I believed her because I wanted to
.
She wouldn’t take money from me, you know
.
”

Ivy braced herself on her elbow so she could study his face
.
Her eyes had gotten rather used to seeing in the dark
.
“So you
were
sampling her services
?
Did your father know?”

“It wasn’t like that.
”
He rose on his elbow to meet her gaze, brushed his thumb across her lips
.
“I went to Diana after I heard the rumors that you had become my father’s mistress.”

“Darien,” she began.

“Let me finish,” he said softly
.
He rolled her over and poised on top of her
.
His forearms braced on either side of her head
.
He used his knees to part her thighs
.
Despite her need to interrogate him, she let him settle his hips against hers
.
His heat felt too good
.
Ivy trailed her fingers down the muscles of his back.

“I went to Diana when I heard the rumors about you and my father
.
I was so furious and ripped apart
.
I thought sleeping with her would make us even or something equally absurd like that
.
She humored me, gave me more whiskey until I passed out
.
She told me that it was all a lie, a rumor that served the purpose of alienating us from each other.”

“And you believed her?
”
Ivy held her breath.

“I was not sure, but now I am.
”
He brushed her lips with his own
.
“Over the years I realized the truth.”

“I was destroyed by those rumors.
”
Though she had forced herself to take responsibility for her unorthodox choices, speaking out against that particular injustice was like dislodging a boulder from her throat
.
“A romantic liaison was not part of your father’s bargain
.
He paid off my father’s gambling debts that had quadrupled with the promise that he would be coming into money once his daughter married the heir to Westhaven
.
My father must have started racking up credits the moment news of Philip’s death reached London.”

“And then there was Marcus.”

“You have no idea, Darien.
”
Ivy shoved his shoulders, but he kept her pinned beneath him.

“Forgive me
.
I shouldn’t have said that
.
I don’t want to fight with you
.
Perhaps I never should have brought you to Devon
.
My home
.
I don’t know what I expected to accomplish.
”
He kissed her forehead
.
Nuzzled her ear
.
His voice right next to her ear sounded distant
.