Secret Pleasures (11 page)

Ivy slipped off the step and silently approached him
.
She stopped short of laying her hand on his tense shoulder that seemed to stiffen at her approach
.
She stood motionless
.
Close enough to see the flare of his nostrils with each deepened breath.

“There were only rumors and your father’s word is almost impossible to contradict.
”
How clearly she had learned that painful lesson
.
Though there was no evidence other than the sudden disappearance of her father’s gambling debts, she had been eternally branded an outcast with a few crude jokes over port and cigars by men who called themselves gentleman.

“But I should have,” he abruptly turned to face her, stared down into her eyes. “I should have called him out if I had to.
”

“Your father claimed the incident a hunting accident
.
He even admitted that he pulled the trigger.” She swallowed the bitter taste of defending Westhaven, but the alternative was too awful and would only hurt Darien more
.
And the idea that Darien’s father had far more threatening tactics than ruining one’s reputation to get what he wanted terrified her too much to contemplate.

“I received the first note almost immediately after Philip’s death and assumed that it was an ugly prank.
”
He shook his head
.
“That’s a lie
.
After I had begun to drink myself into oblivion on a daily basis, I talked myself into believing the first note was a joke, but somewhere I always knew better
.
Then the second letter arrived
.
I will not rest until I find out what exactly happened to Philip.”

“Who do you think wrote the note?
”

“I have an idea
,
but I think the person in question is in hiding
.
Philip was not alone at the hunting lodge that night.”

“What
?
Then why did he not speak up?”

“Philip was not hunting,” he said heavily
.
“He was with someone
.
I don’t know exactly what took place
,
or who was involved
,
but I have my suspicions
.
I do not want to accuse anyone of anything without actually knowing the details first.”

“Since when?”

“Since it could hurt someone Philip loved.
”
He lowered his gaze
.
“My father knows the truth and I want it
.
Will you help me, Ivy?”

“What can I do?”

“You have a level head about these things
.
Westhaven has not hunted on the estate since Philip’s death
.
He cannot be so removed from feeling to be unaffected by the experience
.
It is my best chance to discover what happened to Philip
.
I won’t have peace until I find the truth
,
and neither will the person who wrote this letter.”

“I have other obligations.
”
She needed to whisk Melody out of the country on the off chance that the earl knew of his child
.
News of Diana’s death would be public fodder sooner than later
.
Speculation might jog someone’s memory about a child and Ivy intended no connection would be made to Melody
.
It was the least she could do for her friend.

“That’s where I was, Ivy.
”
Darien shoved his hands in his pockets
.
He glanced at his boots
.
“I did not desert you
.
Westhaven had summoned me to tell me of Philip’s death and that I must break our engagement so I could marry Maddox’s daughter
.
I was in shock and of course I refused.”

“And he cut you off financially unless you complied.
”
Ivy folded her hands over her chest, steeling herself for whatever confession Darien might make, remembering her loyalty to Diana above Darien
.
Darien was a man in line to be an earl
.
He could have what other men dreamed of, power, wealth, title
.
Women like Ivy, Melody and Diana were left to the whims of men like him
.
They did not have the luxury of wild adventures or missteps
,
and most definitely not forgiveness and understanding, even for a wee babe who had never done a thing wrong in her life.

“That was after I got back from trying to find out who sent the note
.
I had suspicions but no real proof
.
When I returned, I received your letter bowing out of our engagement and heard you had become my father’s mistress.”

“That’s not true.”

“I know that now, but then
…
I was enraged at the world and I saw no way to set things right
.
Why did you not wait for me before you made such a rash choice?”

“Your father would have ruined us
.
My father had his gambling debts
.
You knew that
.
You paid enough of them.”

“And then Marcus paid them.”

“I was alone and he was there
.
I will not apologize for that.”

“Well, I’m here now.”

“Are you, Darien?”

“Yes
.
I do not want us to be at odds for another ten years
.
You have that child now, Ivy, wherever she came from and
…
I need to find out what happened to Philip
.
Come with me to Westhaven.”

“Don’t be daft.
”
Lord, but she would be playing right into Westhaven’s hands
.
“I plan to take Melody to Italy
.
I have a villa there
.
You have made me even more the center of speculation
,
and I don’t want Melody caught up in it.”

“How will you get there
?
You cannot travel through France
.
It’s too dangerous
.
The king is imprisoned and civil unrest is raging.”

“Samuel will accompany me, of course.”

“Does Samuel know how to shoot
?
I doubt it
.
Come with me to Westhaven. The baby is in no condition for a long journey
.
I have friends who can help nurse her back to health
.
Everything thrives there
.
Come with me, Ivy, and I will get you and your
…
the child to Italy with no questions asked or answers expected
.
You need help and I can give it
.
Please
.
Do this for me and we will be even.
”

He looked so sincere
.
She touched the side of his face, brushed her lips to his
.
His arms came around her and he pressed her close.

“I have missed you so much.
”
She laid her head against his shoulder and wanted to melt into him
.
Melody let out an ear-splitting wail from the top of the stairs.

“
I realize y
ou will never forgive me
, Darien
.
You must also understand w
e can never go back.
”
She ran up the stairs to comfort her recently discovered one and only priority
. 
Keeping Diana’s child safe and secret was too important to trust
to
a man who could nonchalantly destroy the life she had so carefully pieced together.

***

Darien folded his arms over his chest, still seared by the press of Ivy against him
.
She was right, of course
.
He might not be able to forgive her
completely
, but that did not stop him from wanting her
.
Of that he was certain
.
And it was past time he had Ivy in his bed
.
He no longer cared about what had happened in the past, nor who the father of her child might be
.
He wasn’t here
.
Darien was
.

His conversation with Marcus troubled him in a way he had not expected
.
A vague memory of Ivy fearing she could never give him children nagged at him
.
He had brushed off her worries with a quip about
progeny
not being as valued in second sons
.
Or maybe he just kept recalling that particular exchange along with her long confinements and doctor’s attention during her time of the month because he hated the idea that Ivy had born some other man’s child
.
If only Ivy’s behavior confirmed his theory
.
Ivy had a baby that ruled her by mere lung power alone
.
She certainly acted like the child’s mother.

He glanced at the front door, locked it, then strode to the kitchen
.
Whether Ivy liked it or not, he was not leaving her side
.
Perhaps Darien could not erase all that lay behind them, but neither could he let Ivy slip from his life again so easily.

Darien walked down the narrow hall papered with dark pink stripes and an artful display of botanical prints
.
The home Ivy created for herself appealed to his simple tastes
.
He could see himself easily among her casual elegance
.

A knock sounded at a back door
,
and Darien strode through the compact yet warm kitchen
that held
vases of flowers and bowls of fruit
on every surface,
to answer it
.
The smell of freshly cooked muffins wafted from a basket covered with a white cloth
,
and Darien made a note to investigate further after he saw to the intrusion.

Faith stood on the lowest step, her head bent, a large straw hat covering her face
.
She glanced up and stared wide-eyed at Darien
.
“Excuse me, my lord
.
I’m here
…”
S
he paused
.
“I shall return later.”

“Faith,” he said and reached out to drag her in. “It’s Darien, remember
?
Do come in
.
Why are you hovering at the back door like a rag peddler?”

She hurried in and quickly skirted away from him to a far part of the kitchen
.

“My husband does not like me to visit.
”
She refused to meet Darien’s gaze
.
And then, as if she couldn’t help herself, she whirled abruptly to face him. A smile lighted her features, making her look fourteen again, the age when Darien had last seen her
.
“It’s true then, is it
?
You and Ivy have patched things up.”

“It’s true,” he said, hoping Ivy would not skin him for it, but the white lie made Faith laugh with pleasure.

She
closed the distance between them and
threw her arms around him in a sisterly embrace
,
but then quickly pulled away
.
“Is your father furious?”

“Of course
.
That’s half the fun of it.”

Faith sobered, her face serious
.
“This is not a joke, is it, Darien
?
We are too old for jokes
.
More things are at stake here.”

Darien suddenly realized she was right
.
They were too old for jokes back then, too, but Darien had not realized it until it was too late.

“Ivy is considering my proposal.
”
He shrugged with a slight apology for his quick tongue
.
He had never realized how much their broken engagement had strained Ivy’s relationship with her sister
.
“We haven’t made amends quite yet
.

“You must not take no for an answer.
”
Red splotches shone on her cheeks, only emphasizing the wan pallor of the rest of her exhausted features
.
“If Ivy married, especially you, Gerome might think she had seen the error of her ways and let her see the girls at least.”