Secret of Betrayal: Book Two of The Destroyer Trilogy (39 page)

“Libby,” Milo says softly, “who says you have to
wait? We’re together right now. I know it’s not ideal, but it may never be. We
can make this work even in the middle of a war.”

“Can we?” He’s hiding his emotions from me as he
usually does, but I can see the sudden sadness in his eyes. Does he understand
why this bothers me so much? “Milo, I’m just worried that everything is going
to get swallowed up by this fight—my time, my mind, my life. I don’t want to
disappear. I don’t want being the Destroyer to become my only identity. I want
what regular people have, too. I want …”

My voice falls silent as I finally realize why
this choice between Milo and Braden has become so consuming. I want to help the
Ciphers. I want to take out the cruel, sadistic people who are turning the
blessing of talents into something hideous. I want to destroy what evil people
have built and remake it into something better. But I don’t want to do it
alone. I want to live, be in love, be happy while I do everything else. I know
it can work. Maybe my life will never be the picture perfect, feel-good movie I
wish it could be, but I know I can fulfill my destiny and still find joy during
the in-between moments. I just don’t know who I can honestly do that with. And
without the promise of loving and being loved, what is the point in doing any
of this?

“I’m sorry, Milo,” I say when I realize he’s
still staring at me not knowing what to say to my unexpected tirade. “I didn’t
mean to go off like that. I think the stress is just getting to me a little
bit. I’m sure I’ll feel better once the rescue is over.”

He isn’t convinced, but he doesn’t seem to know
how to react. In the end, he settles for simply saying, “Everything is going to
work out. After the rescue things will calm down … eventually. When our lives
are less chaotic, you and I will figure
all of this
out, okay?”

That is an incredibly good idea. “Okay.”

“I better get home, but I’ll pick you up in the
morning for school.”

I nod and try to lose myself in his embrace when
he hugs me goodbye. I watch him drive away feeling slightly better than I did
before. I need to get through the rescue first. Everything else is just going
to have to wait. The cool desert air drifts past me as I close my eyes and try
to center my thoughts on getting through the next couple days.

I don’t know how long I stand on the front porch
before Braden reappears on my doorstep. I knew he didn’t leave for real, but
his presence doubles my weariness. I pull the precious few hours I just spent
with Milo to the front of my mind. If Braden stays, I won’t be able to hold
onto them. I need him to leave me alone.

“Braden, go home,” I say. “I can’t have you
here. I shouldn’t have … just go.”

I turn my back on him and head for the door. His
hand catches my arm before I can get away. The force of our link races up my
arm to my heart. I falter at the power of it, but refuse to give in. I turn to
glare at Braden and force myself to pull away. “Go home,” I plead wearily.

“I won’t leave you here alone. It isn’t safe,”
Braden says.

I step closer to him and match his determined
stance. Meeting him eye to eye is impossible because of our height difference,
but I do my best. “I don’t need you to protect me. I’m the Destroyer. Go home.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“Fine,” I say, “stay out here all night if you
want. I’m going to bed.”

He doesn’t stop me from slamming the door on
him. I march through the house to my room. Why won’t he leave me alone? I
didn’t spend the last few hours with Milo just to have them all erased by
Braden and his mind-stealing link to me. I love Milo. I have a chance to fix
things with him. I don’t want to lose that chance because of Braden.

I push into my room feeling jittery and knowing it
will be impossible to get to sleep now. Determined to try and forget the last
two days with Braden in favor of Milo, I head for my bed. When I get there, I
stop.

Sitting on my bed are my battered drawing pad
and a selection of charcoal pencils. I try to hold onto my anger at Braden, but
it slowly slips away. I don’t know when he put them there, but he knew exactly
what I needed. A sound behind me spins me around. The sight of Braden standing
in my doorway startles me.

If I force him out, he’ll just break in again.
Weakness rears its ugly head as I battle between frustration and desire. I
close my eyes and remember the feel of Milo arms wrapping around me, the heat
of his body pressed against mine. It helps. I walk over to my bedroom door and
close it. Braden’s image is gone, but the feel of him is so much harder to get
rid of.

My steps seem heavy as I wander back to my bed
and sink into its emotionally vacant acceptance. Gathering up my pencils, I
ignore the late hour and let my jumbled-up thoughts and emotions flow out of me
in a wash of grays until my eyes refuse to stay open.

Even then, my mind doesn’t turn off. I dream of
them both. All night I see their faces, feel their skin,
sense
their own turbulent emotions. My heart searches for some clue. The last few
months have pushed Milo away from me as we train for what we have to do. That
only shows his dedication to our cause, but is he as dedicated to me? His anger
and hatred fuel his desire to crush the Guardians. Is there something still
fueling his desire to be with me? As things intensify, will I fall even more to
the back of his mind? I can’t even seem to force Braden to take a break from
thinking about me. Will that distract him from helping? Will he become the weak
link in the chain of my destiny, the link I can’t depend on? And most
importantly, does he really love me as much as he thinks he does? Is the
connection between us the biggest factor in his devotion?

I scramble through dream after dream with no
clear answers. When I’m with Milo, I feel as if he is the only one who could
ever mean so much to me. But the closer I get to Braden, the harder it is to
deny I am drifting toward him. I try to shut the dreams out. Not seeing either
of them is too hard. I open my eyes to Braden’s soft half-smile. My heart
stutters. The dream light coating him almost seems to make him glow. His pure
contentment at being with me tips everything in his favor for this brief
moment.

My hands reach up to cup his face. He leans in
automatically and my heart and mind melt into liquid desire as his lips press
against mine. Slipping his hand behind my neck, Braden pulls me closer. My own
hand slips down to his chest. The feel of the raised flesh of his scars under
his shirt stops me. I never dream of Braden with his scars. He’s always perfect
in my dreams.

I yank myself away from him as I realize I’m not
dreaming anymore.

Braden stares at me in surprise, whether for the
kiss or for pulling away from him I don’t know.
Probably
both.

“I’m awake,” I whisper shakily.

Braden watches me without saying a word.

“I thought I was still dreaming.”

His confusion gives way to a delicious smile.
“Dreaming of me?”

I groan and bury my face in my hands. “Any
chance I can convince you to pretend that didn’t just happen?” I ask him.

“Not hardly
.”

He laughs and I make myself look at him. My
thoughts scatter in the face of his brilliant grin. It’s not fair that he’s so
good looking. I actually have to force myself not to reach out and touch him so
I can be sure he’s real. “What are you doing in here?” I finally demand.

“You forgot to set your alarm. Milo’s going to
be here in twenty minutes,” he says.

“What? I’m not even going to have time to take a
shower,” I complain. I scramble out from under my sheets and dash for my
closet. Braden catches my hand and pulls me back to him. “Braden, I have to get
ready. And you have to get out of here before Milo sees you!”

He doesn’t let go. Brushing his fingers across
my cheek, he pulls them away and holds them up for me to see. The blackness
coating his fingertips startles me. “You might want to wash your face before
you leave the house. I think you fell asleep on some of your drawings. You’re
covered in charcoal.”

I swipe my hand across my cheek and groan when
it comes away black. “Thanks,” I mutter before pulling away from him. He
chuckles again, but leaves me to get ready in peace.

I dart out from my room ten minutes later hoping
he’s already left for the school. A sigh of relief stumbles out of my chest
when I see that the house is empty. At least he has enough sense to get out of
here before Milo shows up.
Hurrying into the kitchen in
search of something quick to eat, my eyes land on a plate of warm English
muffins sitting on the table.
They’re smothered in strawberry jelly,
just the way I like them. I instantly wonder how Braden knew—before deciding I
don’t really want to know. I grab the plate and almost don’t see the note stuck
under it in my hurry to go find my backpack.

Knowing it isn’t going to be a reminder to get
eggs or milk on my way home, I unfold the little paper and catch the simple
braided bracelet that falls out of it. It’s just three white strands of thread
braided together but I know exactly what it’s meant to be. The best part of
going to the spirit world with Braden is getting to see the spirit link that
connects us. I used to fear it, but lately the sight of it is comforting. I
slip the bracelet onto my wrist regardless of what a bad idea it is and read
his note.

“I’m not going to forget the kiss.

“Enjoy your breakfast. I’ll see you at school.

“And after school.
And tonight at my place.
I’ll see you every chance I can
get.

“I love you.

“Braden”

It’s pure stupidity to keep the note. But I do
it anyway. It was a huge mistake to kiss him this morning, but I tuck the note
into my pocket, anyway. I’m about to sit down to my breakfast when the doorbell
rings. I swallow my guilt along with the bite of muffin I just took and make
for the door. The strangely optimistic feeling I carry out of the house with me
is foreign to my bad-luck-life, but I find myself positively determined to hold
onto it.

Chapter 3
0

Mistakes

Wednesday, undoubtedly the most important and
frightening day of my life so far, starts off with a fight about whether or not
I should drive myself to school. Not the way I wanted this day to begin.
Brushing his teeth in the kitchen and looking completely indifferent to my
irritation, Braden refuses to listen to me.

“Don’t you think it will look awfully strange if
we show up at school together?” I ask for the tenth time. “I’m driving myself.
You’re pulling me out at eight-thirty, anyway, so what does it matter?”

“It matters because since I’m pulling you out of
class you’ll be expected to come with me. Principal Andrews thinks I’m taking
you to the Guardian compound when I pull you out of class. She gave me strict
instructions not to let you out of my sight. If she insists on watching me
drive away with you like last time, you’ll have to leave your Bronco at
school,” Braden says after rinsing his mouth and setting his toothbrush on the
counter.

“Why couldn’t you just tell Andrews you were
getting me before school and then I wouldn’t even have to go? Then we wouldn’t
be having this discussion.”

“I did try,” Braden says patiently. “She
wouldn’t agree to it, and you know that. She wants you checked in at school so
she can claim you were safe and alive before I ran off with you.”

My mouth twists into a scowl. “It’s not like she
actually cares about my safety. She just doesn’t want the liability.”

“You have to go to school,” Braden says, getting
back to the original argument. “You are going to school with me, so when I go
back to my house to meet Mr. Walters you will have a car here, not left at
school. If anything goes wrong, I want to make sure you have a way to get out
of here quickly.”

“You think Lance doesn’t know how to drive?”

“Lance is playing sick, remember? He’s going to
have to sneak out, which means he can’t drive off in his car. Milo is picking
him up and dropping him off here.” Braden leans against the counter and calmly
folds his arms over his chest.

I forgot about Lance having to sneak out. I hate
that Braden thinks he’s already won this fight. Just because his argument makes
perfect sense doesn’t mean I’m going to give in. “How do you expect me to pull
up to the school with you and not draw everyone’s attention?”

“I expect you to tap your Concealment and hide
yourself from everyone, just like you’ve spent the past three days perfecting,
thanks to Milo.” The smirk on his lips as he mentions Milo’s trip to Ohio
doesn’t escape me. He feels my mixture of regret and pleasure at the memory of
our trip to the Bosque, but Braden has no regret at all. He’s all too happy
Milo left.

“Besides, it’s so chaotic in the parking lot right
before the bell that no one will even notice you’re with me.” He steps away
from the counter and picks my bag off one of the kitchen chairs. The way he
hands it to me is a clear indication that we’re done arguing. But just in case
I didn’t get the message, he says, “Now go get in the car.”

Making a run for my Bronco isn’t even an option.
Braden had the foresight to grab my keys before I came out of my room, and he
has them securely in his pocket. I snatch my bag away from him with a scowl.
His no-nonsense manner cracks as he watches me storm toward the garage door.
He’s being absolutely ridiculous, but the rolling amusement coming from him
threatens to make me smile anyway. I slide into the way too comfortable seat of
his car and lose my annoyance completely. I really love this car.

A few minutes later when we reach the school
parking lot, I do exactly as Braden said, tap my Concealment and make it to the
edge of the parking lot without anyone so much as looking in my direction. He’s
probably gloating right now. I roll my eyes and follow the crowd into the
building. I count down the minutes of class with my eyes on the door. Every
tick of the clock makes it more and more impossible to sit still.