Secret life: firsthand accounts of UFO abductions (12 page)

Honest to God, I thought… I can’t believe this! They’re saying, “What are these?” They’re looking at them. And I think, “You jerks, I’m not going to tell you what they are. You figure it out!”

How do they respond to that?

They don’t pay attention to me. They say… it’s almost like somebody’s saying, “You shouldn’t be afraid by now!” or, “You shouldn’t be afraid.” Of course, they always tell me that. And I say, “I know you guys do this to me all the time, but if I don’t remember it I won’t care.” Because I haven’t remembered it ever, really.

Are you standing up?

Oh no, I’m lying down…. They’re cutting out a piece of my gum. I’m terrified, just terrified. I’m absolutely terrified. And yet I know… I can’t describe all the emotions I’m feeling by now. I feel absolutely terrified. I feel like this is psychological torture, but I’m not afraid for my life. And I’m furious. There are no words to describe how mad I am because I feel like they’re just torturing me. And I’m saying, “This has got to stop.”…

Did they tell you why they were taking this sample of your gum?

I say, “Don’t you guys have enough of me by now? What do you want?” I said, “How long does it take you to study somebody?”

And what do they say?

They say it can go on for years.

(Karen Morgan, 38, 1987)

Scabs, infections, or other body marks and changes attract their curiosity. For instance, a woman who had given birth by cesarean section had new scars that drew the attention of the alien who told her this was not the way
they
did it. In another instance, Jill Pinzarro
had fallen off her bike when she was eleven years old and was later abducted:

They’re looking at my knee, and the reason is, I think is, I fell off my bike, and there’s a bad scab there. They seem to know about it because it’s the first thing looked at, they’re just looking at it.

Is this your right knee or your left knee?

Left. Got all sorts of dirt and gravel in it. They’re just looking at it, look at it, touch the edges of the scar where it’s a little infected probably. It’s kind of pus-y, it’s a bad scrape. But they cover it up [with a “sheet”].

(Jill Pinzarro, 11, 1960)

Such changes often elicit discussion among the Small Beings as they try to discover the origin of the change on the abductee’s body.

Toward the end of the examination, the aliens either implant a small, round, seemingly metallic object in the abductee’s ear, nose, or sinus cavity, or remove such an object. The object is as small as or smaller than a BB, and it usually is smooth, or has small spikes sticking out of it, or has holes in it. The function of this device is unknown: It might be a locator so that the targeted individual can be found and abducted; it might serve as a monitor of hormonal changes; it might facilitate the molecular changes needed for transport and entrance; it might facilitate communication.

The ear is a commonly described place for the implant. The abductees report that Small Beings will insert the object with a long, thin instrument far into the ear canal, sometimes rupturing the ear drum, and leave it very near the brain. When asked during hypnosis what the aliens are doing, abductees frequently reply that they “know” the aliens are placing an implant there. How they know this is not apparent, but sometimes an abductee describes a small object shaped like a ball bearing on the end of the instrument that is inserted; when the instrument is withdrawn, the ball is gone.

The nose is another place for tiny implants to be left. Abductees
say that the aliens insert an instrument way up in their nasal passages between their eyes. Sometimes nosebleeds occur after this procedure. Both child and adult abductees have seen physicians for nosebleed problems, and have discovered odd holes inside their noses. Several abductees have reported that a ball-shaped object either dropped out of their nose or was expelled when they blew their nose. All of these expulsions happened before they knew they had been abducted; in each case they thought that they had inexplicably inhaled something and discarded the object or lost it.

The third most common place for an implant is in the sinus cavity underneath the eye. The Small Beings sometimes insert a sharp, thin needle downward into the tear duct and then into the sinus cavity below the eye and above the cheek. Like the other procedures, it is not painful, although it can cause swelling and sometimes black-and-blue marks. Once again people report that they “know” the aliens left an implant behind.

Abductees tell of other areas of implant placement, such as near the ovaries and in the lower abdomen in women, and even in the penile shaft in men, but the preferred places appear to be in the head.

Throughout the abduction, both as a way of communicating with the abductee and, presumably, of examining and altering her mental and emotional state, the Beings stare deeply into the abductee’s eyes. For instance, during the first moments of an abduction, often before the abductee has been transported to the UFO, an alien inexplicably stares deeply into an abductee’s eyes. When the abductee is very excited or frightened during the abduction, an alien stares into her eyes, calming her. Staring can also alleviate an abductee’s pain. However, the most profoundly affecting of the staring procedures is Mindscan.

After the Small Beings complete the physical examination and implant the device, they stand back from the abductee. Then a Taller Being walks into the room. The Taller Being closely resembles the Small Being except that he is slightly taller, he might have subtly different facial features, he sometimes wears noticeable clothes, and
he has an air of authority about him. He gives orders and the Small Beings obey. People often have strong and divided feelings about the Taller Being. Some hate him because he is clinical and brusque, and because he does “bad” things to them. Others feel he has more of a range of emotion and they can relate to him better than they can to the Small Beings. Abductees sometimes call him the doctor because of his demeanor and his task. He is usually very businesslike, with a detached, matter-of-fact attitude.

When the abductee attempts to communicate with the Taller Being, he usually responds with reassuring phrases, much as the Small Being does. But when “pushed” he will not respond directly to the questions asked. When an abductee asks, “What are you doing?” he may answer with a cryptic, “You know what we are doing.” When an abductee asks if they will ever stop doing this to her, the Taller Being might respond with, “You are very special to us” or, “This is very important and you are helping us.”

At times the Taller Being will perform the physical exam himself, but Mindscan is the focus of his attention. Mindscan entails deep, penetrating staring into the abductee’s eyes. Abductees commonly feel that data of some sort is being extracted from their minds. We do not know what the information is, how it is extracted, or what the Beings do with it. One abductee thinks that they transfer it to other Beings’ minds.

During Mindscan, the abductee lies on the table and the Taller Being stands next to her. He bends over and comes very close to the abductee, who may feel extremely frightened and threatened. He may even be close enough to touch foreheads with her. When asked how close the Taller Being is to them during Mindscan, Will Parker, Patti Layne, James Austino, and Lydia Goldman gave typical answers:

He’s right up in my face. Not quite touching my nose with his face, but he is almost that close.

(Will Parker, 33, 1988)

If he had a nose, it doesn’t seem that he does, not much of one anyway, it’s just pressed down as close to my nose as he can get without specifically touching.

(Patti Layne, 23, 1985)

How close is his forehead to you?

He is touching it. He is leaning right over and touching it…. My nose touches his face.

(James Austino, 21, 1987)

I just see what I am looking at and I see this thing moving and it looks like a monkey.

How close is this face to you?

I would say inches….

(Lydia Goldman, 4, 1936)

The Taller Being then gazes deeply into the abductee’s eyes. His black eyes, which lack pupils, occupy a huge amount of space on his face. They are spellbinding, riveting. He locks eyes with the abductee. Even though she tries, she cannot close her eyes or take her eyes off his. Most abductees feel overwhelmed by the procedure. They feel as if they are “falling into them [the eyes]” and achieving some sort of connection with the Taller Being. He may order her to “look at me!” to ensure proper contact.

I’m looking into those eyes. I can’t believe that I’m looking into eyes that big…. Once you look into those eyes, you’re gone. You’re just gone.

How do you mean that?

I can’t think of anything but those eyes. It’s like the eyes overwhelm me. How do they do that? It goes inside you, their eyes go inside you. You just are held. You can’t stop looking. If you wanted to, you couldn’t look away. You are drawn into them, and they sort of come into you….

Are your eyes open or closed?

My eyes are open, but my mind is sort of gone. I have no will. I have no will. I am absorbed and I’m not fighting it.

(Karen Morgan, 9, 1958)

Some people say that they feel that the Taller Being is “stealing their memories.” Others say that the effect is calming and soothing, and they are not as frightened as they were before. Both men and women report feeling vulnerable and violated. They are powerless to prevent this procedure from happening. If the abductee tries to close her eyes, the Taller Being tells her she must open them, and she does. Often the Taller Being’s hand is on the abductee’s head or shoulder while he completes his procedure.

During Mindscan, the Taller Being can elicit specific emotions in the abductee, such as fear and terror. Often he will create an instant rush of pleasurable emotions in the abductee that “bonds” her to him. As he stares deeply into her eyes, she may feel that the Taller Being is really a “good” individual. She wants to help him. She wants to be with him. She wants to give herself to the Beings’ “program,” to help in any way she can. She does not want to leave. Sometimes there is a romantic and even sexual quality to these thoughts. Some women say that they “love” the Taller Being. They want to give themselves to him fully and completely. Men have similar feelings, especially if they perceive the alien to be “female.” Bonding can be a totally overwhelming experience.

Very young children undergo the same experience. But instead of strong romantic or sexual feelings, they usually consider the Taller Being to be “nice” and a “friend.” During abductions they are comforted that their “friend” is present to protect them. With children over age ten, however, the Taller Being might induce mature bonding feelings.

Lynn Miller was a Mennonite woman who had experienced a series of inexplicable events in her life. In one hypnotic regression, she remembered being abducted from her car near Tuckahoe, New Jersey. During the event, the Taller Being stared into her eyes intently and began the bonding procedure.

Can you tell if the person that’s looking in your eyes is the same one that was in the room when you first came in, or is he different?

Different.

How is he different?

Bigger.

So when he looks in your eyes, does he just do sort of a cursory examination, or does he go from one eye to the other eye, or is he just kind of staring into your eyes?

He’s staring into my eyes….

Is he touching you?

Yes.

Where is he touching you?

My head.

Now, as you look at him, what kind of feelings go through your mind?

Love.

By love, do you mean directed toward him, or just sort of amorphous?

It’s for everything.

Are you looking into his eyes also?

He makes me.

So he looks into your eyes and you get this sort of rush of pleasurable feelings again?

Yes.

When you have this rush of pleasurable feelings, is there sort of a sexual component to this as well?

Yes.

Is it because of the situation of the vulnerability of it all, or… ?

I think from what he’s projecting… .

So he looks into your eyes for a while, and then what does he do? Then he goes down and does a gynecological exam….

(Lynn Miller, 31, 1987)

When Barbara Archer was twelve years old, she found herself in a room with forty or fifty tables. After her examination the Taller Being came over and performed Mindscan on her. I asked her if he was looking at her.

Yes.

Was he just kind of looking at random, or… ?

He looked into my eyes, and I really like him.

You looked in his eyes too?

Mm-hmm, but I just felt happy and I just lay down.

Did he kind of look in your eyes for just a short instant, or for a little bit longer?