Secret Confessions: Down & Dusty – Brooke (3 page)

‘Don’t worry, sunshine.’ He kissed the side of her lips, her cheek, her jaw. ‘We’ll save that for another day.’

She groaned.

‘See—’ he chuckled against her ear, ‘—I knew you still wanted me.’

Her needy whimper turned to a scornful growl. ‘There’s a difference between wanting you, and wanting any man in general.’ There was. Her body just didn’t know it.

‘Nothing has changed between us.’ He pulled back, holding her in place with the desire flashing in his emerald eyes. ‘Even after all these years, you’re still the one for me. And I sure as hell am the one for you. I knew the moment I saw you.’

‘Speak for yourself and leave me out of it. I’m only here to scratch an itch.’ She grasped a hand around his neck, stealing his focus from the lies she’d just voiced.

She kissed him with everything she had—with all the pain from the past, with all the childish hope she’d given up for their future, and all the yearning she’d felt in between. She was in shock. Stunned by his return and falling into the perfection of his touch.

Once her brothers returned, he’d do exactly what every other male in town had done. He’d run. He’d hide. He’d deny ever having touched her, for the sake of his relationship with Rowan and Connor.

The realisation stung, but she kissed it away, tangling her hands in his shirt, scouring the contours of his muscled chest with her palms. His touch drifted under her top, leaving a trail of goosebumps everywhere he brushed, all the way to the curve of her breasts. He lifted the underwire, moulded the flesh in his grasp.

‘God, how you’ve changed.’

Her cheeks heated at the memory of her flat adolescent chest. She’d definitely changed in that regard. Now her body held the curves of a woman—generous hips, round arse, and breasts that would barely be managed by his large hands.

‘Heath,’ she whispered. ‘They’ll be back soon.’

‘I’ll stop when I’m ready,’ he growled, and flicked his thumbs over her nipples.

Her hips jerked, and she gasped with each swipe. This wasn’t the boy from her childhood. This was a man. A skilled man. One who sparked optimism in her chest. Would he stand up to her brothers and fight for her? That’s all she’d ever wanted—someone who thought she was worth the risk.

In the back of her mind, she knew this wouldn’t end well. Her brothers would return and Heath would back away like she was a threat to his safety—which she was. But hope was like an avalanche; once the momentum started, it was impossible to stop.

‘I’m so fucking hard for you.’ One of his hands left her breast, delving between them to rub against his crotch. ‘But there’s no time.
Fuck.
’

She sighed at the truth in his words and closed her eyes, wishing they were in another place. In another time.

The sound of a car door slammed in the distance, stopping her heart. She didn’t loosen her hold on his shirt. Couldn’t. There was no way she could push him away. She wanted to hold him closer, to drag him upstairs to her bedroom and make love to him, her brothers’ fury be damned.

Only Heath left her no choice. He backed away like he’d been awoken from a dream and shattered her longing in an instant. He moved to the other side of the kitchen as he brushed a hand over his lips. ‘Shit,’ he muttered. ‘That wasn’t in the plan.’

The plan? Well, fuck you, plan. She didn’t know what Heath’s game was, but leaving her shaking with the need for orgasm was unforgivable, especially when they were so hard to come by.

‘And what was
the plan
?’ She glared at him and yanked her shirt back into place.

Yet again, he’d hurt her. Each time a man dared to deny her brothers’ wishes to leave her alone, whether it be for a kiss or mere conversation, she wondered if he was the one. The lone person to stand up to their intimidating ways and claim her without their approval.

This kiss, this conversation, and this man, wasn’t the one. He was just like the long list of men who wanted a taste of her, just not at the expense of their health and safety.

‘I guess the risk wasn’t worth it.’ Her tone was bitter as she snatched the cider bottle off the counter. ‘I’ll see you around, Heath.’

‘It’s not like that. It’s bad timing, that’s all.’

Maybe, but his tone spoke otherwise. He was ashamed of kissing her—using her—when it was clear he had no intention of standing up to her brothers. His friends.

‘Whatever helps you sleep at night.’

He didn’t reply, only hung his head, the wisps of his blond hair hiding his eyes as she walked away.

***

A week passed. Seven days in which Heath had left voice messages for her on the home phone before every sunset. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to call back. Not when the thought of them together kept her up at night.

To him, this was a game. A little fun. She was sure of it.

To her, he was a temptation. Her adolescent dream for the future. Being around him would only cause more heartache.

So she worked herself to the bone, getting up early to feed the cattle and fix the back fences that had been on Rowan’s to-do list for more than a month. And now she was hiding. Well, hiding her frustration anyway, under the cover of a bottle of wine at the Royal Hotel.

‘You look ready to kill someone.’

‘Oh, there’s more than one.’ Brooke raised her gaze from her wine glass and met the concern in Lucky’s sapphire-blue eyes. The publican was too observant for her own good. ‘I’ve formed a hit list. It’s growing by the day.’

The woman raised a brow as she polished the beer glass in her hand. ‘Those brothers of yours causing havoc again?’

‘Among others.’

Lucky gave a solemn nod. ‘I guess having them show up here wouldn’t help much, would it?’ She jerked her chin toward the pub door.

What?
Brooke straightened and shot a glance over her shoulder.
Arseholes.

She’d left the farmhouse the moment Heath’s ute came down her driveway, kicking up a cloud of dust in its wake. She refused to spend another Friday night holed up in her bedroom, while the three men who were ruining her life enjoyed drinks around the bonfire.

‘What the hell are you doing here?’ She shoved off the stool and glared at her brothers in turn.

‘Just gettin’ a drink,’ Rowan drawled.

‘And keepin’ an eye on you.’ Connor crossed his arms over his chest, eyeing the men in the room as if they were poised to impregnate her at the first opportunity.

‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ She enunciated her words with crystal clarity.

More than one gaze drifted her way as silence consumed the pub. Not that she could see the attention she was getting through the haze of red clouding her vision. ‘When is this going to end? When am I going to get to lead my own life? God forbid I have sex once in a while.’

Rowan cringed and glanced away, while Connor’s nostrils flared.

‘If you think I’m a virgin, you’re sorely mistaken,’ she scolded. ‘Far from it. Just ask your best friend.’

Oh, god.
She hadn’t just said that, had she? Panic unfurled in her belly. She was angry—at her brothers, at the legacy of protection her father had left behind, and at Heath too—but not angry enough to ruin the friendship of the three men she still cared about, no matter how much she didn’t want to.

‘What did you say?’ Connor’s eyes held a fury she’d never seen before, colouring his cheeks to a dark shade of pink.

‘Let it go, Connor.’

Brooke turned to Rowan in confusion. Why was he trying to defuse the situation? Had he finally begun to learn she had her own life to lead?

A drunken chuckle from one of the pub regulars echoed over her shoulder, followed by the mutterings of gossip by drinkers out of decipherable earshot. The whoosh of the pub door announced more witnesses to their family feud, and she didn’t care. Not until someone raised their voice to say, ‘Speak of the devil.’

Her heart fell to her feet as Heath approached, coming to a stop at Rowan’s side. His features were grim, his lips set in a thin line, his brow furrowed. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Apparently, a lot more than you led us to believe.’ Connor shoved him.

Heath stumbled backward, never taking his gaze from hers. ‘What did you tell them?’

She swallowed over the razor blades in her throat, unwilling to apologise and unable to tell the truth. She was caught between regret and defiance, heartache and satisfaction.

‘Brooke?’

‘When were you fucking her?’ Connor demanded. ‘Was it in the last month? Or when we were teenagers, when we treated you like part of the damn family?’

‘It’s none of your business.’ Finally, she found her voice. ‘I’m sick to death of this.’

Heath winced, no longer looking at her, instead taking her brother’s ire head on. ‘We’re not doing this here.’

‘I agree.’ Lucky came to Brooke’s side. ‘Take it outside, boys.’

Without a backward glance, Rowan, Connor and Heath left her standing alone in the middle of the pub, the attention of every person under the roof turning to her as the door shut behind them.

‘Come on.’ Lucky took her elbow and led her to the bar. ‘I’ll get you another drink.’

Her feet dragged all the way to the stools. ‘They treat me like a child.’

‘I know. Men are fucking idiotic.’

As Lucky filled another wine glass, Brooke swallowed down the bile rising in her throat. What had she done? No rationalising would come from their time outside. Connor didn’t know how to work out his problems like normal people. He resolved issues with his fists. And when Heath was the obstacle, she wasn’t sure how any of them would come out unscathed.

‘They’ll be fine.’ Lucky’s warm palm came to rest on Brooke’s shoulder. ‘They’re big boys, let them fight their own battles.’

That was the problem. Fighting seemed to be the only way her brothers knew how to deal with the men in her life. ‘What if Connor hurts him?’

There, she’d said it. She’d admitted her concern for Heath. Every inch of her was consumed with fear for his safety. She still loved him. Had never stopped. And even though they’d spent a large chunk of time apart, she still knew him. Every inch. Every thought.

Lucky glanced along the bar to the town’s policeman who was seated at the far end, currently off-duty and gulping on a beer. ‘Dare, do you mind going outside to check on Connor and Rowan for me? Make sure they’re not causing trouble.’

He jerked his chin in acknowledgement and did as Lucky bid.

Brooke sucked in steadying breaths, drumming her fingers against the bar in a vain effort to pass the time. She needed to go out there. To put a stop to this. She had to admit to Rowan and Connor that she’d let them get away with their routine for this long because there’d never been a man she truly had any interest in.

Things were different now. She was interested in Heath. More than interested. No matter how much she tried to deny it. She was just as vulnerable to his charms now as she had been as a sixteen year old.

‘You ready to go home?’

The sound of Heath’s voice made her swing around in the stool. Her gaze raked over him in a frantic search, over his eyes, his cheeks, his rugged jaw. He was perfect. Like he always had been. Not a scratch or a bruise to be seen.

She swallowed over the dryness tightening her throat and shook her head. ‘I drove here.’

‘Don’t care.’ There was no authority in his voice, just cool, calm assurance. ‘I’m taking you home.’

She shook her head, trying to come up with a reason to deny his request, yet coming up short.

‘Let him take you, Brooke.’ Lucky spoke from behind the bar. ‘Your car will be fine sitting out the front until morning.’

The car wasn’t the issue. It was her heart she wasn’t sure would survive the trip.

‘Where’s Connor and Rowan?’ The words scraped past her lips.

‘Gone.’ His tone was matter of fact as he held out his hand. ‘Let’s go.’

The moment her hand touched his, a shot of anticipation rushed through her. ‘Are you going to tell me what happened?’

He ignored her, leading her to the pub door as drunken locals whistled and cheered. The drive out of town was done in silence, nothing but the sound of gravel crunching under his ute tyres, not even the sound of the radio.

‘Are you ready to talk to me yet?’ They wouldn’t reach her property for another ten minutes, there was no way she could stand the silence that long.

‘What do you want me to say?’

‘I dunno.’ She shrugged. ‘Tell me what happened with Connor. Tell me you’re angry at me for opening my big mouth.’

‘I don’t blame you.’ He kept his focus on the dirt road illuminated by the headlights. ‘I just wish they would’ve found out differently.’

‘Me too.’ She turned her body toward him, hunching her knees onto the seat. ‘Do you think they’ll ever forgive you?’

‘Yeah.’ He laughed with confidence.

‘How can you know? You don’t realise how bad they’ve been since you left.’

He looked at her, turning the seriousness of his stare to hers in a brief flicker that conveyed a message she didn’t understand. ‘It’s not as much of a shock to them as you’d think.’

‘Why?’ Her pulse rate ramped up.

‘Trust me on this. They’ll get over it. There’s no need to panic.’

Right. Easier said than done. He’d lived away from Milpinyani for years. He hadn’t witnessed what they’d put her through, or the men of their small community. ‘There’s something you’re not telling me. What do you know that I don’t?’

His jaw ticked, denying the calm in his voice as he said, ‘Don’t worry about it, sunshine. I’ve got it under control.’

‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘That’s not good enough.’

He was hiding something. Keeping her in the dark when now, more than ever, she needed to be aware. For her heart’s sake. ‘If it’s something that’s going to hurt me, I want to know. And I want to know now, not when you, or my brothers, think it’s best.’

‘I’ve never wanted to hurt you, Brooke. Far from it.’ His voice was strained, his hands holding onto the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip.

‘Then what? Tell me why you’re clutching the steering wheel like it’s a lifeline.’

He released a bark of humourless laughter. ‘You want to know what I’m thinking? When we’re alone. On a deserted road. Not another car in sight.’