Secret (25 page)
‘Wait,’ Quinn said, putting her hands over his. ‘Don’t stop it. Please.’
‘Why?’
A genuine question. So she gave him a genuine answer. ‘Because I like you,’ she said.
His thumbs stroked over her abdomen. ‘I like you, too.’
‘Maybe we should go back to Little League,’ she said.
‘What?’
‘Or at least the minors.’
His eyebrows went up. ‘Are you telling me to slow down?’
‘Not for my benefit. For yours, old man.’
Now he definitely looked like he was going to put her on her feet. So she rotated in his hands to sit against him again. She pressed her face into his neck. ‘Sing me another song?’
He hesitated just long enough that she thought he’d refuse.
But then he picked up the guitar, set it across her lap, and started to play.
While he slept, Nick forgot about the lunch table argument with
his brothers. Or rather, his
brother
. Maybe it was Quinn’s drama, maybe it was the peace and quiet of Adam’s apartment, but
creepy
didn’t come crashing back into his brain until Gabriel opened the bathroom door the next morning, while Nick was brushing his teeth.
Every muscle in his body tensed. He wanted to shove Gabriel back out and slam the door in his face.
Instead, he spat toothpaste into the sink and wiped his mouth without looking at him.
‘What is up with you?’ said Gabriel.
‘Nothing is
up with me.
’ Nick moved to edge past him.
Gabriel caught him around the neck and roughed up his hair. ‘I know how to make you talk, Nicky.’
The motion was good-natured, the kind of thing that would usually make him laugh.
But Nick twisted free and shoved Gabriel into the wall so hard it rattled the towel rack. He pinned him there and forced his voice to stay low. ‘Leave me alone. Okay?’
Gabriel stared at him, identical blue eyes searching his. He could have fought back, but he didn’t. ‘Sure, Nick. Whatever you want.’
Whatever you want
. Yeah, right.
Nick let him go and stepped into the hallway, jerking the door shut behind him. His throat felt tight, and he had no idea what expression was on his face, but it must not have been good. Chris stood there in the hallway, and when Nick met his eyes, Chris put his hands up and took a step back.
Damn it. He couldn’t find the right rhythm with anyone lately.
Nick went into his bedroom and closed the door. Hunter was already downstairs, his air mattress made like a military bunk. Nick sat on the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands.
Part of him wished Gabriel had fought back, had pushed and needled and forced the truth out of him.
Part of him wanted to go back in the bathroom and punch his twin brother.
A knock sounded at his door.
Nick stared at the six-foot panel of wood and wondered if fate was going to deliver those options on a silver platter.
Then the door cracked open, just enough to let his younger brother peek through. ‘It’s Chris.’ A pause. ‘Can I come in?’
Nick sighed. ‘Sure.’
Chris opened the door, but he didn’t come inside. He leaned against the doorjamb and looked hesitant. ‘I don’t want to get in the middle of something here.’
Please. Pry. Tell me you’ve figured everything out.
‘It’s fine,’ Nick said. It wasn’t even seven a.m. and he was already exhausted. ‘What’s up?’
‘Are you and Quinn all right?’
Nick let out a frustrated breath. ‘Why does everyone keep
asking
me that?’
‘Because you look like you want to kill someone, and that’s usually Michael’s gig.’
‘I don’t want to kill anyone.’
Except Tyler. And maybe Gabriel.
Chris came all the way into the room and dropped onto the side of the bed. ‘Becca told me to ask if you guys wanted to come over to her place tonight. We’re going to get a pizza, rent a movie. Hang out.’ He waggled his eyebrows. ‘Et cetera.’
There was a time when Nick would have jumped at the chance, just to force other things out of his brain. And, he admitted to himself, to keep up appearances. He and Gabriel used to take girls out together, just because they could. But since he and Chris had been dating Quinn and Becca, they’d done the double date thing a few times.
Now, however, he was glad to have a reason to refuse. ‘I can’t. I told Mike I would babysit.’
Chris smiled. ‘Sucker. I knew you’d say yes.’
Of course he did. Nick always did what his brothers needed.
Maybe Chris read his darkening mood, because he lost the smile before Nick could say anything. ‘Well, I said I would ask.’ He paused and looked at the wall like something interesting was happening there. He didn’t say anything for a long time, but the air felt heavy, and Nick waited. Chris wasn’t a talker, and when he had something to say, it took him a while to get around to it.
When he finally spoke, his voice was low. ‘If something is going on, you can tell me. I know you always tell Gabriel everything, but — I’ll keep your secret, too.’
Nick looked at him. He didn’t know what to say.
When Becca’s father had come to town to kill them all, he’d trapped Chris and Nick in a walk-in freezer. Nick’s leg had been broken, and he’d barely been able to move. Just another instance where he wasn’t strong enough to save anyone. Michael and Gabriel had rescued them.
For the first time, Nick realized that Chris hadn’t been able to save himself, either. And Chris might have been a year younger, but he sure as hell wasn’t
weak
.
Nick had been quiet too long. Chris finally turned away from the wall and met his eyes.
There were too many variables here. Nick worried the tension in his body might rattle it to pieces.
His cell phone buzzed on his nightstand. Nick jumped. He could see the screen lit up with a text message, but he couldn’t see the sender.
Chris was closer. If he looked over, he’d see it.
He didn’t look.
Nick ran a hand through his hair, putting some order to the mess Gabriel had made. ‘I need to finish getting ready for school.’
Chris nodded. ‘Me, too.’ He hesitated in the doorway. ‘If you see Quinn, please tell her Becca’s really worried about her. She’s not responding to her texts or anything.’
Join the club
. But at least Nick could offer an explanation for this. ‘I told Quinn the truth. About us. I think she’s upset that she didn’t learn about it from Becca.’
Chris winced. ‘That’s not Bec’s fault.’
Nick smiled. ‘Girls.’
Chris didn’t smile back. ‘I’ll tell her. See you in the car.’
He was barely out the door before Nick grabbed his phone.
Not Adam. Quinn.
Still alive. I’ve got a ride to school.
Nick sighed and wished he knew how to fix this. He shoved the phone in his pocket and grabbed his backpack.
He was halfway down the steps when he realized what Chris had said.
If you see Quinn.
If.
Not
when
.
I’ll keep your secret, too
.
His secret. Not Quinn’s.
It wasn’t enough to be absolutely certain, but Nick could connect the dots. Chris might not know for sure.
But he’d guessed.
The homeroom bell hadn’t rung yet, but it was close. Quinn shoved a notebook in her bag and swung her locker shut.
Only to find Becca standing there.
Perfect, pretty Becca, with all those special secrets she didn’t think to share.
Quinn shouldered her backpack and started walking.
‘Come on,’ said Becca. ‘Would you at least
tell me
what you’re so pissed about?’
‘Why don’t you ask your boyfriend? Maybe he could write a message in steam or something.’
Well, that shut Becca up.
But only for a second. ‘Please — would you stop walking? I wanted to tell you, Quinn.’ She hesitated. ‘You had so much going on, and I —’
‘Don’t you dare make this about me. You don’t know anything about me.’
‘Because you won’t say anything! I’ve been trying to talk to you all week!’
Like Becca would be able to relate to Quinn’s problems. ‘Forget it. You’re right. I have too much going on.’
‘It wasn’t only my secret to tell,’ Becca said quietly. ‘If Nick told you everything, then you know they’re in danger.’
Quinn stopped and looked at her. She made her voice equally low. ‘And so are you. Didn’t feel like sharing that? Didn’t feel like mentioning how some guys came after you with a gun? Maybe if I’d known that, I wouldn’t have spent the night making out with —’
She cut herself off. What was
wrong
with her? She’d almost sold Nick out
again
. And while Tyler didn’t have any reason to tell the Merricks, Becca would
definitely
tell Chris something was up.
But all of a sudden, she hated denying the night she’d spent with Tyler. The kissing in the darkness, surrounded by his arms, her ears full of his raspy voice and the strum of his guitar.
Becca was staring at her.
‘With Nick,’ Quinn finished.
And of course, thinking of kissing Nick felt . . .
wrong
. She remembered what a fool she’d made of herself that night he’d let her sleep in his bed. She turned away from Becca again. ‘I need to get to class.’
Becca didn’t say anything for the longest time, until Quinn didn’t think she was going to bother.
And that, more than anything, made Quinn’s throat tighten.
Then Becca called, ‘I miss you.’
Quinn hesitated. She wondered what would happen if she turned around, walked back to Becca, and told her everything.
She thought of the cops coming to her apartment, and wondered if she even had a home to return to. She had no illusions that she could keep sleeping in Tyler’s second bedroom. She didn’t even know if she
wanted
to.
But Becca wouldn’t understand this. There were too many variables, too many
what-ifs
. Too many secrets.
Quinn looked at her. ‘I miss you, too.’ Then she turned around and kept walking.
Becca didn’t come after her.
And the worst part was Quinn really wished she would.
Nick had had no idea babysitting would be so exhausting.
He and James played hide-and-seek in the woods until dark. Not much of a challenge for Nick, who merely had to ask the air to locate the boy, but he could
pretend
to seek. Then tag. Then football in the lengthening shadows of twilight. Nick made a good show of falling down when sixty pounds of kindergartner tackled him.
Just when the edge of the sun dropped below the horizon, something foreign brushed Nick’s senses.
It didn’t feel malicious, but Nick grabbed James, tossing the boy in the air while he laughed and shrieked.
Nick ignored that and cast his senses wide.
Nothing.
He dragged James inside anyway. The kid promptly dumped a massive plastic tub of
LEGO
in the middle of the living room floor.
Then he grinned up at Nick. ‘Can we build a whole city?’
So they built a whole city.
His phone buzzed around eight, just when he was telling James that
yes
, his mother
did
want him to brush his teeth. Nick slid the phone out of his pocket with his heart in his throat, hoping for a message from Adam.
He hadn’t heard from him all day.
Not Adam. Michael.
Hannah’s folks are going to come pick up James so he can sleep in his own bed.
And that was it. Typical.
Nick texted back.
How was dinner??
Terrifying.
A pause, then another message appeared.
Good call on the haircut.
Nick smiled.
‘Can I play Angry Birds?’ James asked through a mouthful of toothpaste.
Nick slid his fingers across the keys. ‘In a minute.’
Are you coming home?
Going out for a while. Don’t wait up.
When Hannah’s parents showed up, they didn’t look like they wanted to kill anyone, so Nick figured the dinner had gone pretty well. Hannah’s mother was a petite blond woman in a sweater set, and she tried to give Nick sixty dollars for babysitting. He turned it down.
The fire marshal looked at him long and hard, reminding Nick that this guy had interrogated his twin brother a few weeks ago.
But Hannah’s mother stepped between them to kiss him on the cheek and say thank you. The fire marshal shook his hand. James gave him a hug.
Then Nick had the house to himself.
He couldn’t remember the last time that had happened.
He grabbed a can of soda from the refrigerator and dragged his physics textbook out of his backpack.
As soon as he looked at the page, he realized he didn’t want to be doing this.
His cell phone rang.
Nick looked at the display and smiled. He pushed the button to answer. ‘You are my hero.’
‘I like the sound of that.’ Adam’s voice was rich and warm in his ear, and Nick realized this was the first time they’d talked on the phone.
He wanted him to keep talking.
‘How was dance?’
‘Could’ve been better.’ Adam sighed, and his voice was tired. ‘Quinn didn’t show up.’
Nick ran a hand down his face, feeling his emotions vacillate between worry and exasperation. ‘Man, I’m sorry.’
‘She texted me that she couldn’t make it. It’s all right . . .
man
.’
Nick could hear the smile in his voice. ‘What are you going to do?’
‘Would you think less of me if I said I had a backup routine?’
‘I wouldn’t think less of you if you had a backup
partner
.’
‘Good. I’ve got one of those, too.’
Nick blinked. ‘Really?’
‘Nothing official, but I could get one of the girls from the studio to dance with me. I liked Quinn for this piece because it’s raw and edgy and passionate, and she fit the part.’ He sighed. ‘Enough about dance. How’s your night?’
‘The height of awesome. I’m sitting in an empty house with my physics textbook.’
‘Want to come over?’
Nick’s heart bounced around in his chest. ‘Can’t. I don’t have the car.’