Second to Cry (18 page)

He couldn’t let himself pretend the entire trip that this was anything other than what it was. He needed to tell her the real reason for his visit; he just found himself procrastinating as he was terrified she would hate him for his role as messenger. And a part of him wanted to believe in the myth, that this really could be a date. That Avalon, and the ties which bound him there, for perhaps this one night, no longer existed.

‘This place is lovely,’ Brandy noted as she let her gaze float around the modestly sized dining room. ‘I can’t believe I’ve never been here.’

‘Do you eat out a lot?’ Aiden asked. Brandy looked a little alarmed by the question and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

With her coat off, Aiden could see the black dress she was wearing which hugged each and every one of her curves. It was hard for him to pry his eyes away from her as she looked so amazing, like an intricate porcelain doll which had been breathed into life; she was both exquisite and precious. He wanted to ravish her but also to protect her. No other woman had ever made him feel so conflicted.

‘Not a lot, no,’ Brandy admitted sadly, not meeting his gaze.

‘Why not?’

‘I eat at my aunt’s a lot. Or in my apartment. To be honest, the city scares me. It’s so big and vast and sometimes I fear if I go somewhere new I’ll end up getting lost and…’ Brandy coughed to steady herself.

‘It’s okay,’ Aiden reassured her. ‘It’s a big adjustment. You’ll get there. And now you know about this place.’

‘And now I know about this place,’ Brandy smiled warmly at him.

‘What about when you go to the movies or the theatre?’ Aiden asked, remembering their previous conversation.

‘I lied,’ Brandy admitted shamefully. ‘I wanted you to think I was living the life out here. And I am, but even my apartment seems too big! I’m used to living in a trailer! It’s just taking me longer than I thought to settle in.’

‘It’s a big city,’ Aiden empathized.

‘But now you’re here and that makes me feel safer, which is stupid I know. With you around I’m not so scared about getting out and about,’ she admitted, glancing up at him shyly.

‘Yeah, I’m here,’ Aiden sighed. He knew he needed to tell her the truth about why he was there. He owed her that much.

‘Brandy, actually, there is a reason I’m here.’

‘Oh?’ Brandy took a delicate sip of the cosmopolitan she had ordered and looked at him with wide, expectant eyes.

‘It’s to do with a case I’m currently working on.’

‘Uh huh.’

‘Basically it is a paternity case involving Deena Fern.’

Aiden noticed a shadow pass across Brandy’s face. Clearly she was familiar with the name.

‘She has two sons, and the paternity of the second son has been called into question by the paternal father of the first. I’ve met with Deena and spoken with her.’ Aiden didn’t know how to break the last part to Brandy. He didn’t want to hurt her. He wanted to protect her from this sordid truth but he knew she’d ultimately find out. She had to hear it from him. Only he could shield her from the ugliness of it all and be there for you.

‘Deena claims that the father of her baby is your late husband, Brandon.’ He delivered the news as delicately as he could, his voice gentle and low.

Brandy absorbed the information and he watched her face crumple in on itself like a disregarded tissue. Her shoulders began to rise and fall with silent heaves and she frantically tried to calm herself, putting a hand to her temple and then her eyes to try and suppress the tears which now sparkled brightly in her doe eyes.

‘Brandy, I’m so sorry to have to tell you that,’ Aiden moved not only himself but also his chair so that he was no longer opposite her, instead he was by her side, wrapping his arms around her. He kicked himself for having foolishly broken the news to her in public.

Brandy hid herself in his embrace and cried softly. When at last she surfaced for air, her cheeks stained black from her fallen make-up she simply whispered,

‘Can we leave?’

‘Of course.’

Back at Brandy’s apartment she sat on her cream fabric sofa, looking stony-eyed out of the window at the twinkling lights of the city beyond. She was clutching a mug of hot chocolate which Aiden had made for her and he had draped a green blanket around her exposed shoulders yet still she shivered, though not from the cold.

‘I think I always knew,’ she said sadly.

‘You did?’ Aiden sat down beside her, listening intently.

‘I always knew he’d been unfaithful. And Deena Fern used to stare at him like a puppy dog whenever we saw her at church. I guess I just didn’t want to see it at the time. Though I never imagined she’d have his baby.’ Brandy began to weep at his and Aiden once more held her tightly, wishing he could absorb her pain for her.

‘And he killed my baby,’ Brandy was sobbing now, long, hard sobs which made her tiny body shake with emotion.

‘I know,’ Aiden said soothingly, stroking her golden hair, most of which had now fallen out of the bun which had previously been so immaculate.

After a while, Brandy pulled back and looked at Aiden. Her eyes looked red and sore. She dabbed at them gently with a tissue.

‘What is he like?’ she asked, her voice was hoarse from crying.

‘Who?’

‘The baby.’

‘Well, he’s a little boy called Davis. He’s two and has brown hair and brown eyes.’

‘Have you met him?’

‘Yes,’ Aiden nodded.

‘Is he a nice little boy?’ Brandy asked, her brow furrowed with concern.

‘Yes, he is.’

‘Good,’ she nodded solemnly. ‘And you came all the way out here to tell me about him?’

‘I knew you’d be upset and I thought it best you hear it from me,’ Aiden explained. Their faces were now only inches apart. He stared into Brandy’s deep-brown eyes and felt his stomach dip as though they had just descended twenty feet. He could smell the warm chocolate on her breath, could see the droplets of tears upon her cheeks.

Raising his hand, he stroked her cheek. It was soft and warm.

‘I’m glad you’re here, whatever the reason,’ she whispered.

‘Me too.’

‘You’re a good man, Aiden Connelly.’

‘I try to be.’

The reality of Avalon, and his family waiting for him, suddenly threatened to ruin the moment. He couldn’t shake the feeling that if anything were to happen with Brandy, it would make him no better than Brandon. And she deserved so much more than that. He leant back, creating distance between them. Brandy smiled sadly as he did so and moved so that her head was now resting on his chest.

‘I’m tired,’ she admitted. ‘Crying can really tire a girl out!’

‘It’s okay.’ Aiden used the hand which had just touched her cheek to softly stroke her head as she lay on him.

‘Can we sleep here?’ Brandy asked him sleepily.

‘Sure.’ Aiden kicked off his shoes and lifted his legs up on to the couch to make himself more comfortable.

‘I wish we could stay here forever,’ Brandy mumbled into his chest.

‘Me too,’ Aiden admitted.

Outside, a soft patter of rain began to beat against the window, distorting the lights of the city beyond, making them blur as though they were in a Dali painting. It was oddly beautiful to watch.

A sudden thought crossed Aiden’s mind. He dwelled on it for a moment before asking Brandy.

‘Tomorrow, will you play the piano for me?’ It was a simple request but he felt an overwhelming desire to see her play.

Brandy tilted her head so that she could see him. She was smiling though she appeared weary.

‘Yeah, sure. But what will you do for me?’ she added cheekily.

‘What will I do?’ Aiden laughed.

‘Yeah, what’s your talent?’

‘My talent? I don’t know, I don’t think I have one.’

‘Yes you do,’ Brandy told him confidently.

‘What is it then?’

‘Your talent is you save people. Like you saved me, like you continue to save me,’ Brandy nuzzled further into his chest. ‘You’re a hero.’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘Well, you’re my hero.’ Brandy yawned and then let her eyes fall shut. Aiden sat there and listened to the soft rise and fall of her breath. She looked so peaceful, so perfect. He wanted to remain there for the rest of time with her sleeping on him, safe and content. Nothing else in the world seemed to matter, he felt as though he had everything he could ever want or need.

Aiden tightened his embrace around Brandy and she grumbled sleepily. He didn’t want to fall asleep himself, didn’t feel the need to dream as he was already within one.

The following day the sun still refused to shine over Chicago, leaving the city shaded grey by the thick layer of cloud overhead.

Aiden awoke on the sofa in Brandy’s apartment, but she was now longer resting upon his chest. He stretched and tried to undo the various knots which had formed in his muscles after sleeping so awkwardly.

As he tried to pull the sleep from his eyes and sharpen his tired senses, Aiden heard the sound of someone gently humming from across the apartment, accompanied by the sound of running water. Brandy was showering.

Aiden headed over to the sound and stopped at the bathroom door, politely knocking to alert her to his presence. But Brandy failed to hear him. Aiden knocked again, with more vigour, but still she didn’t respond so he felt he had no choice but to open the door, just a fraction, so she could hear him.

He eased open the door and a torrent of steam came gushing out. The wet heat of the shower pressed again his face as he leant forward and called her name.

‘Aiden!’ she shrieked in horror and the sound of running water immediately ceased. Seconds later Brandy appeared at the door, wrapped in a large white towel and looking upset. Her hair was still covered in soap suds as she had stopped short her shower.

‘Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything!’ Aiden couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction. Her modesty was endearing and rare in women her age. Most women, if they had her incredible figure, would be seeking any opportunity to flaunt it.

‘You could have knocked!’ Brandy berated him, shivering slightly within her towel as the compressed heat of the bathroom began to escape through the open door, getting dissolved by the vastness of the open plan apartment.

‘I did! Twice!’

‘Oh.’

‘You were singing,’ Aiden teased.

‘Oh,’ Brandy turned bright red and shifted uncomfortably within the towel.

‘I was just going to ask if you wanted anything for breakfast.’

‘Oh,’ Brandy cocked her head to the left, like a bird, and regarded him thoughtfully. ‘How about waffles?’ she suggested brightly, her usual sunny demeanour returning.

‘Waffles sound good, I can make those,’ Aiden nodded.

‘With syrup?’

‘Yes, of course with syrup.’

‘Okay, well, I need to get back in the shower as I’m freezing my hide off out here!’ She didn’t wait for him to respond, instead hurriedly returning to the bathroom and switching the shower back on, clearly eager to re-create her warm, steam-filled sauna effect.

Fifteen minutes later and, as Aiden dished out the freshly cooked waffles, Brandy again emerged from the bathroom, this time washed and dressed in a purple sweater with black leggings. Her hair, still damp, was tied casually in a plait.

‘Thanks, these look amazing,’ she noted as she sat down and immediately dug into her waffle.

‘No problem.’ Aiden took a sip from the coffee he had made himself and began to eat his own waffle. He realized that he hadn’t made breakfast in quite some time. Back at home, Isla always prepared breakfast and most dinners. It was as if a silent agreement had been made between them that now Aiden was the sole breadwinner, Isla would attend to all generic housewife duties.

The thought of home suddenly made Aiden feel nauseated with guilt and he was unable to finish his breakfast. He thought of Meegan and how desperately she would be missing him, whilst here he was in Chicago, cooking breakfast for a woman he was insanely infatuated with. It wasn’t right. It was the sort of behaviour Aiden had vowed to forsake after Justin died. He nervously pulled at the collar of his shirt as he attempted to swallow the harsh reality that he was letting himself down.

‘Do you not like your waffle?’ Brandy asked, concerned.

‘I’m not that hungry. Besides, I need to get back to my hotel room and get washed and changed.’

‘You could shower here if you want,’ Brandy offered. Aiden knew that would not be a good idea. Each moment he spent with her he felt his resolve weakening.

‘No, it’s fine. I need to change my clothes anyway.’

‘Okay.’ If Brandy was hurt, she didn’t show it. Instead she kept happily eating her waffle, of which little now remained.

‘Shall I just meet you at the place where you play the piano?’

‘Sure.’ She smiled at him and her smile was so pure and so innocent that Aiden almost choked on his inner turmoil. He wanted to stay, more than anything he wanted to stay and not risk a second away from her.

His fingers subconsciously began to rub the wedding band he wore, a reminder that he was taken. He had never resented something so symbolic so much before. He wanted to go over to the window and cast it out to the city below. But that was unfair on everyone, Isla included. Besides, what he felt for Brandy might be nothing more than a crush. However, he knew that the closer he got to her, the more drawn to her he felt and the greater the risk of getting burnt by the fire he seemed intent to play with.

‘So I’ll see you there in a bit?’ Brandy asked.

‘Yeah, I’ll see you there.’

The address Brandy gave him was for a hotel two blocks away from her apartment building. Aiden took a taxi there, now freshly washed and changed.

He pulled up outside an old hotel in desperate need of renovation. The sign outside was weathered and dull and a quick glance into the foyer showed that inside was in dire need of fresh paint and furnishings.

Aiden paid the driver and headed inside. The hotel was relatively quiet. Unlike the chain hotel where Aiden was staying, where the foyer was a hive of activity no matter what time it was. There were always people coming and going but here it felt as though time had stood still. One solitary receptionist stood behind the desk but they were preoccupied by something on the computer system. Soft elevator music played out over some loud speakers but, other than that, he was alone.