Second Chances (20 page)

Doris Flanders was seated at the front desk. She was one of the facility's administrators. The fact that she was here and manning the main desk likely meant that either a resident had recently passed on and she was awaiting the arrival of a new client or that one of the current residents was close to passing on and she was there to see everything was handled properly when nature took its course.

"Hello Doris," Julie said as she neared the desk.

"Ms. Murphy. It's a pleasure to see you," the woman said, rising up from behind the desk.
 
She wore the same plaid skirt as the caregivers, but her blouse was a deep red.

Julie winced. Even after all this time she couldn't get used to hearing the fake last name. She thought the entire use of fake names was unnecessary and, frankly, quite foolish. However, she nonetheless followed Cameron's rules and the identification in her purse would back that up.
 

"Julie, please."

"Of course, Julie. Forgive me."

She smiled at the woman. She knew that Doris was aware that she preferred to be addressed by her first name, but the woman would never dream of doing so without first being given permission each visit. It simply would not be proper.

"A little quiet." Julie was certain that Doris understood her unspoken question, but she was also aware that there was no way that she would answer it honestly. Doris Flanders was no gossip, especially when it came to the health of her clients.

"Yes. It seems that many of our residents are off to a slow start this morning. Allow me to check with Sarah and inquire on Mr. Kimball. You are a bit early." This time it was Doris who was questioning.

Julie nodded. "Yes. I managed to free up some extra time. I hope that won't be an inconvenience."

"Not at all," Doris said quickly. Whether it actually was or wasn't, Doris nor any of the staff would ever say so. For what was charged for each resident, very little would ever be classified as an inconvenience. She picked up her phone and tapped in a series of numbers and then replaced the phone in the cradle. A moment later the phone rang.

"Sarah, Ms. Murphy is here to see Mr. Kimball." Doris listened, her smile never wavering. "Very good," she said as she again returned the phone to its appropriate place.

"She says they will be down in just a few minutes, if that is acceptable."

Julie knew Doris was asking if she wanted to go up to Jason's room. They never would forbid such a thing, but she knew it made the rest of the staff uncomfortable. Patient confidentiality was huge in a place like this. She was already making them uncomfortable with her early visit. This was not a place that encouraged the 'pop-in' visit.
 

"That would be lovely," Julie said. "I'll get out of your hair and just wait by the entrance."

Doris gave her a soft laugh and waved a finger at her as if dismissing the thought that Julie's arrival was anything other then an unexpected joy. She moved off toward the front before Doris could voice those very sentiments.

A few minutes later she heard the soft ding of the lift that was situated just beyond Doris' desk and around the corner came Sarah Mathews, Jason's caregiver. She was tall and thin, with her brown hair pulled back in a tight bun. The word spinster always sprang to mind, though Julie hated that it did. The woman was only a few years older than her and from the interaction they had had over the years she knew Sarah was a sweet and caring woman. She was pushing him in a wheelchair. Julie moved quickly toward them, her eyes flickering from Jason to the wheelchair and then to Sarah.

Sarah answered her with a sad smile.

"Worse?" Julie asked.

"You know how it is. Some days are better than others. He's been very stiff. I didn't want to tax him this morning. I had intended to take him for a little walk," she said patting the collapsable walker attached to the back of the wheelchair. "See if we couldn't work out some of that stiffness. I think part of it may be the weather lately."

Julie nodded. She knelt down in front of the wheelchair and looked at the man before her. As happened every time, she fought not to cry. He was so different then he'd once been and guilt ate at her. His grey eyes turned to look vacantly at her. She waited, hoping. He blinked a few times as he focused on her face. Her patience was rewarded. The corners of his eyes crinkled and a slip of a smile appeared on his lips. She reached out and stroked his cheek. He covered her hand with his.

"Hello Jason. It's Julie."

She was again rewarded with a subtle nod and this time she couldn't hold it in check and a tear rolled down from her right eye. She moved her hand up higher and ran her fingers through his grey streaked
 
brown hair.

"Almost time for a haircut, eh?"

Again, another gentle nod.

"We have that on tomorrow's schedule, don't we?" Sarah said.

"How about I take over for a bit and you get yourself a cup of coffee," Julie said as she stood up. "You up for a little stroll around the grounds?"

Jason nodded once more.

"I don't know that he is up for..."

"Oh I don't mean a walk. I'll push him in the wheelchair. I promise nothing more straining then a possible transfer to one of the benches. What do you say?" Even though she was asking Sarah, Jason still nodded his agreement.

"You sure you don't want some help?"

She patted Sarah on the shoulder.
 

"Nah, I think I can handle it. We won't go far. Promise."

Sarah nodded. "Okay, he's all yours."

Julie moved around until she was behind the wheelchair and began to push it towards the front door. Doris looked at Sarah, who was frowning.

"What's wrong? Do you think she'll need your help?"

"No, I am sure she can handle him. He's not that bad today."

"Then what's wrong? He seems happy to see her."

Sarah nodded. "No question about that. And no question how deeply she cares for him, but I kind of wish..."

"What?"

"This is going to sound horrible," Sarah said, looking down at her feet. "Part of me wishes she would stop coming to see him."

"Sarah Mathews!"

Sarah flashed her a look and Doris was horrified to realize how loud she'd spoken.

"It's just that her visits always seem so hard on him."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you saw how he responded, right?"

Doris nodded and said, "Yes and isn't that wonderful? It's horrible for such a young man to experience such an advanced case of Alzheimer's."

Sarah smirked and Doris knew what her smile meant.

"Well he's younger than me so that makes him young," Doris said.

"Yeah, but that's it. You saw him responding to her and that is wonderful. I remember when they used to be able to talk together a bit."

"Her devotion is admirable."

"I agree, but still I wish it weren't."

"Have a crush on him, Sarah?"

She laughed. "Maybe a little, but that isn't it. He usually perks up a little when she arrives, but the next day..." She shook her head. "That next day he always seems worse. As ridiculous as it sounds, it's almost like her visits make his disease worse." She frowned as she watched the front door close.

Julie rolled the wheelchair down the ramp and then turned right, continuing along the pathway that threaded its way around much of the property. She did her best to maintain a slow, steady pace. She made small talk as she pushed him further from the house. She stopped every so often and pointed at one thing or another, using the opportunities to look around.

She did not see anyone observing them. Nor did she see any cameras, but she was quite certain there were some scattered around the facility. Whether they had been placed by Cameron or by Ocean View itself, Julie wasn't sure. She wouldn't have put it passed Kassar to have had the grounds wired for sound.

When they were nearing the end of the path, Julie brought them to a stop next to one of the many wooden benches scattered around the grounds. She made sure that Jason's back was to the facility and then sat down.

She reached out and took his hands in hers.

"Hey sweetheart," she said. Leaning forward, she looked into his eyes and waited until she was certain he was focused on her. She smiled and then gently kissed him. "Are you in there Jason? Please, be in there." She spoke in a whisper. She didn't actually believe she could be overheard, but she refused to ignore the paranoia she felt. She had learned long ago not to underestimate Cameron.

They sat in silence for a moment. Julie had almost given up hope when she felt the gentle squeeze. Relief flooded her and she couldn't hide her smile.

"Thank you, God," she said and squeezed back, leaning in close to him again. "I wasn't sure I had cut back enough to make a difference. Had I known things would escalate the way they seem to have, I would have started earlier or maybe even risked cutting back the dosage even more."

She felt him squeeze her hands again and smiled, not simply because he was responding much quicker then she had anticipated, but because she realized she could actually feel the differences in his squeezes. It had been a questioning squeeze. He was asking her what was going on.
 

She let go of his hands and placed hers together as if praying and tapped the tips of her index fingers against her lips, lost in thought. How much should she tell him? How much might he understand? Just how there was he really? He certainly deserved the truth, but could he understand it? Would it matter to him? Did it matter to him?

"Cameron is on a rampage. Things appear to have gone very wrong, but I'm not exactly sure what or why."

Her eyes went wide as he reached out and took her hands.
 

He struggled and she heard a noise pass his lips. My God, was it possible? Had cutting back really made such a difference already? He blinked in frustration and squeezed her hands again, stronger this time.

"Take your time," she encouraged him.

He made a sound, as if clearing his throat and then in a barely audible croak asked, "Paige?"

A sob escaped her and she quickly wiped at her threatening tears. She nodded slowly.

"Yes. I..."

He again took her hands and squeezed encouragement. She couldn't believe it, he was trying to give her strength.

"She...she ran into her husband from two or three years ago."

He squeezed almost enough to hurt her and she saw his eyes more full of life then she had seen in years. She was torn. Without question, hearing this was likely ripping him apart inside and yet it was also pulling him out. And she needed him to fight.

"I don't know the details, but he ran into her and somehow he has convinced her to go with him. It definitely was not something Cameron was prepared for. He's losing it. I don't know what he is intending to do, but it is not good. However, I am partially grateful. We need to move things up. I want to use this situation as a diversion."

He squeezed again. "P..paige, help Paige."

She shook her head.

"We can't. I wouldn't know where or how to begin. Besides, right now we need to focus on us. This might be the best opportunity we ever get. The only one we ever get."

"Help, Paige," he said again. It was still barely a whisper, but she could feel the force behind his words.

"Still so damn stubborn," she said and he managed a smile. She melted inside and nodded.

"Fine. We, you hear me? We will try to help Paige if we can, but I will need your help."

He squeezed an affirmative.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She knew the answer, but felt the need to ask.

He returned yet another affirmative squeeze.

"Okay then" she said as she reached into her purse. "You need to hold it together. If it hurts you can't show it. If it...when it works, you need to keep up appearances. Cameron gets the tiniest bit suspicious and who knows how he might react."

She watched as he patted his right leg.

"Exactly," she said, relieved and amazed to see just how much he understood.

She looked around slowly and when she was as certain as she could be that no one could see her, she pulled the small syringe from her purse. She quickly uncapped the needle and jammed the syringe through his pants and into his leg, depressing the plunger. A moment later the needle was recapped and the now empty syringe back in her purse.
 

She watched as his leg twitched for a moment. She prayed that would be the worst of the side effects, but didn't believe it was possible that they could be that lucky.

"How are we doing?"

The sound of the approaching voice made Julie's heart skip a beat and she nearly screamed. Not far down the path, Sarah was working her way toward them.

Jason squeezed Julie's hands once again and he repeated, "Help, Paige." He fell silent as the footsteps from behind came to a stop.

"I was starting to think you'd run away," Sarah said.

"Sorry?"

"You've been out here nearly an hour."

Julie looked at her watch and saw it was true.

"I guess we lost track of time," she said, not willing to look Sarah in the eye.

"I didn't mean to interrupt. I was just worried."

Julie could tell she meant it. Sarah had been watching over Jason for years and while at work, it was rare for her to be very far away from him. That was true of almost every resident and their caregiver, but even more so for some.

"I can leave you if..."

"No, Sarah. Actually your timing is perfect. As much as I hate to, I have to get going. You'll make sure he gets back in okay?"

It was a meaningless question. Of course she would get him back to the house okay, it was her job. But Sarah understood all the unspoken meaning behind her words and nodded. She would look after him.

Julie leaned forward and kissed Jason on the cheek. "You behave yourself now," she admonished. She sat there looking at him, but he didn't meet her eyes this time. He was staring off in the distance, his eyes focused on nothing at all. She wasn't sure what that meant and a sudden rush of fear filled her. What had she just done? Try as she might, she couldn't stop a tear or two from rolling down her cheeks.