Second Chance at Forever (Forever Book 2) (19 page)

“Reese, are you okay? Talk to me baby. What did he want?”

“He wants me and Riley to come home tomorrow. You heard me tell him no. I need some time to think and clear my head. I can’t go home yet.”

“Reese, you don’t have to go home at all. You can return to California with me, and you will divorce Samuel.”

“Walker, you make it sound so easy. I can’t just walk away from my life, and my life with Samuel and Riley. They’re all I know, and how will I explain to my daughter that I am now sleeping with her boyfriend’s father, while betraying her own?”

“Reese, you said you want to be with me again. Was that not true?”

“It was true, Walker. I meant every word I said to you, but it’s complicated.”

“Talk to me please, what are you not saying? I could sense it when you were on the phone with him. What happened?”

“I can’t tell you, Walker, I’m ashamed and embarrassed.”

“Reese, now you have to tell me. What did your husband do to you?”

“Before leaving for New York, I was going through a box that I kept with me all of these years. When I left you, I kept a journal and some mementos that you had given me. Silly things that reminded me of you and us. Along with the photo I had taken from your apartment, I have this one too. I’ve held onto to it as if it was my lifeline towing me through my pain all of these years we’ve been apart.”

Reese showed me the picture that she was holding in her hand. I remember when she took this picture of me. I was standing against a wall going over some class notes when she called out my name. I looked up and smiled and then Reese captured my picture.

“You remember, don’t you, Walker?” I simply nodded at her with my response. “You were so unbelievably sexy. I always loved you wearing that black leather jacket. Anyway, after Riley ransacked my closet looking for clothes, I found your picture. Memories of us flooded my thoughts, you have always been in my heart, Walker. I had been arguing with Samuel for weeks over him not wanting to join us on this trip. He chose his work over his family, and we were about to leave when he unexpectedly came home. For a second, I had thought he was home to pack up and join us, but he only returned to retrieve a file he had forgotten.”

She continued, “Riley was crushed and disappointed by her father. I was angry for her and how she was now crying outside probably to Jackson, while her arrogant father blatantly ignored his daughter’s feelings. I barged into his office and began telling him off. Samuel didn’t appreciate the tone I had taken with him and warned me to stop. I didn’t and asked him for a divorce. He then gave me his complete attention and charged at me.”

“What did he do, Reese? Did Samuel hurt you?” I was praying that he didn’t do what I thought he did.

“Yes, he did Walker. But he hurt my feelings more than anything he could do to me physically. I tried to leave, as he pressed me up against the door and then onto his desk. He held my hands as he had sex with me. All I could do was wait until he was finished. He apologized after he was done and promised that he would make it up to me. I was not going to leave him and no way would a divorce ever be considered. I ran upstairs to change my clothes, and then Riley and I left for the airport.”

“Oh my god, Reese. The bastard raped you! I will fucking tear his arms off.”

“Walker, he didn’t rape me. I let him do that to me. Don’t you understand? He is my husband, who was there when you weren’t, and now I was asking him for a divorce. Samuel may have been neglectful during our marriage, but he never hurt me until a few days ago when I mentioned divorce.”

Hearing what Reese just said to me, I’m out of my mind. Here she is defending her husband and his actions. I don’t care what Reese is calling it, she said no, and he took her anyway. How can she expect me not to have a reaction to this?

“Walker, look at me please.”

I clasped my hands around my neck, a clear sign I was frustrated and wanted to hit something. She wanted me to look at her, but I couldn’t. I was too angry, and I needed to take a breath. Reese went back inside the car, waiting for me to return. I slid inside next to her, and all I could do was pull her into me.

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to lose it back there. I can’t stand the thought of you ever returning back to him. Please stay with me.”

“Walker, I can’t right now. Please understand it won’t be easy for me to walk away from Samuel and the life I have in Maryland. I have not only Riley to think about, but I have my work and my friends. No one will understand my reasons on leaving my marriage; if anything, they will think I’m crazy.”

“Who cares what people think? The only two people that matter are you and me!”

“Walker! How can you say that? What about Jackson and Riley? I can’t just ride off into the sunset with you because that’s where my heart is leading me. I’m not free.”

I stared into her eyes and said, “Just answer this simple question. Do you want to be free? Free of this loveless marriage you’ve been just existing in all of these years? You already said you asked him for a divorce. Stand by your decision, and end this marriage before you waste one more day missing out on who you really want. The man that loves you—truly loves you— is right here beside you. It wasn’t over for us. I love you Reese, and I will not let you walk away this time without a fight. This is our second chance at forever.”

SITTING HERE WITH her was just maddening. Breathing the same air with her was driving me insane. All my thoughts were sending me almost into a blinding rage. My thoughts were of Reese, and Reese, alone. Burying myself inside of her was all I wanted. Her touch, her scent, her voice, I was already so lost in her. Talk to me dammit! I had to make her see me.

“Reese, look at me.” She was staring out the window and ignoring my requests. I wanted her to look at me, but she looked lost in thought right now. I told Stephen to return us to the hotel. She flinched when the car began to move. I sat quietly with my eyes forward. I could play this game just as good as Reese could. Hell, I invented it. Watching her body move the way it did was telling me that she was silently suffering. How could I get through to her without driving her away?

“Walker, you don’t understand,” she said.

What didn’t I understand? I knew she was married, but she didn’t want him or her marriage. Reese turned to me and held my hand. “My life with Samuel is complicated. When I met Samuel, I was at the lowest point of my life. I lost our baby and all hopes of ever reuniting with you again. I had nothing to live for but my work, and even that didn’t fulfill me. He was there for me. He was the only one I had.”

“Dammit, Reese! How could you even say this to me? You had a hell of lot more than just Samuel. What about Freddy? Your grandparents? I would have been with you! All you needed to do was just be honest with me.”

“Walker, I told you why I left. Do you think it was easy for me to walk away from you? And believe me when I say that I did try to find you and tell you the truth. Your father was just too powerful for me to go up against. You said it yourself, you were the exception to the rule. I was not, Walker. I remember the day we drove out to your parents’ Hamptons estate. You were so apprehensive about me meeting your father. I never understood why, until I met him in person. Your assessment of him was right on, and he scared the hell out of me. He was beyond arrogant, and was intimidating. I had never known anyone like your father. You only told me small parts of your relationship with him. You always gave me the impression that you could handle him, but Walker, could you really? I don’t think you really knew who Phillip Reed was at all?”

She continued, “The time I was given with my parents was magical. They were completely different from yours. My parents were always loving, and never a day went by that they didn’t tell or show me that love. Your mother may be an exception, but you never had that with your father, and when he did what he did to me, he showed no remorse at all. I’m sorry, Walker, but I was looking at the devil himself. My heart was broken when my mama and daddy died. Thank god I had my grandparents to care for me.”

She pressed on, “You want to know why I couldn’t tell you about your father. It’s because after what my family sacrificed for me, how could I let this man destroy them? I was young and naïve. Yes, I believed everything your father threatened me with. This is why I left. I would have given my life for them, Walker. I did after all, but I had to lose you to save them. When I found out I was pregnant with your child, I had never been happier. I vowed to give our son or daughter a supportive and loving upbringing that you never had. I imagined you holding our baby and being an amazing father. I wanted to tell you that night, and I should have.”

Reese continued, “I can’t predict what may have happened if you had known. I could have suffered the same fate with the miscarriage, but at least I still would have had you. I am beyond sorry for the choices I made back then. Not for helping my family, but not telling you or them. We could have been a united force against your father, but I succumbed to Phillip and Miles without blinking an eye. You told me over and over again how different you were from your father. I knew you were in line to take over the business, but I also knew you wanted to run it your way with your vision.”

She took a breath and went on. “I wasn’t afraid of that, and following you to California was never not an option for me. I wanted to go with you Walker, and be with you. The first real test in our relationship, and I failed you. I didn’t trust what we had, and for that… I fucked it all up and handed you to another woman, while I suffered in silence. I don’t think I will ever be able to truly forgive myself. I just need you to understand the reasons behind my choices. I’m sorry, Walker, I am so incredibly sorry.”

I couldn’t take it anymore! I was sitting there with her, listening to my broken girl recount the most painful time in her life, and it was all due to my father. God, I fucking hated him and everyone that had a hand in destroying my relationship with Reese. I did what came naturally to me and just pulled her against my body. I needed to feel her heartbeat against my own. I had to heal my woman once and for all and make her forget this nightmare that she had to live with. My father was dead, and he couldn’t hurt her anymore. I was there now, and I vowed to make everything that my father destroyed right again, beginning with Reese. I rubbed my hand up and down her back in slow, smooth strokes, and she was slowly starting to calm under my touch.

“Reese, you need to stop this. Dredging up the past is not going to change anything, but bring us more hurt. We can leave that shit where it belongs and begin again. I love you, and I know you love me. Please let’s put this behind us. Can you do that, Reese?”

“I don’t see how I can, Walker. What about my husband, Samuel? Have you forgotten about him? He was there for me when I had no one. Our baby was gone, and you were gone. I was utterly alone, Walker. I was pretty on the outside because I was a model, but I was ugly inside and feeling empty. Samuel offered me a way out from under the black cloud that was my life. He was about to finish with his fellowship at New York Presbyterian and then onto Johns Hopkins. He asked me to join him in Baltimore and to start over. I thought he was insane with his invitation. I was a stranger to him. I questioned him, and all he said was that he knew me well enough to know that I was worth getting to know better.”

She went on, “I promised I would think about it, and then I left for California. My life there was small and unattached. I had a small apartment with minimal things in it that didn’t even make it a home. I was just existing and moving through my day to day. I missed you and mourned our child. I would smile pretty for the camera, and then at night, I cried myself to sleep. Samuel and I kept in touch through phone calls, and he even flew out for a weekend.”

She looked away from me and continued, “That weekend he flew in to visit me, he had rented a house in Napa. We made love for the first time, and he presented me with a ring. Samuel proposed, and begged me to say yes to him. The whole time I was with him, my mind kept retreating back to you. You Walker, and only you. Here I was with a ring on my finger, a proposal waiting for my answer, and this man making love to me. He was offering me the world, and I only wanted you.”