Seasons of Tomorrow (31 page)

He crouched beside her chair. “Rhoda, I know what we could do.” Though he knew it wasn’t customary for Amish men, he eased onto one knee. “You could marry me.” He took her soft hand into his. “Please.”

She didn’t blink, and her breathing seemed to stop. A few moments later her utter shock faded. “Samuel,” she whispered, caressing his cheek. Her eyes misted, but her warm smile defied all the pressure of what was happening around them. She lowered her lips to his. “With my whole heart … ya.”

TWENTY-FIVE

After Jacob ate with Steven at the hospital, he got in the van with the driver. The man didn’t own a typical family van but a work van, which was good carrying a lot of folks
and
hauling supplies. They went to the supply store and picked up the oil before heading back to the farm. Jacob rode, looking out the passenger’s window, lost in dozens of thoughts.

He couldn’t recall the driver’s name. He’d met him this morning while climbing into the van with Steven and both sets of parents, and he knew he’d been one of two drivers shuttling the family back and forth to the hospital since Monday.

Had it really been only five days since Phoebe had entered the hospital?

The driver pulled into the farm, and he even helped Jacob unload the drums of oil.

Jacob looked around. Where was everyone? The dogs weren’t even barking. A carriage and one horse were gone. He paid the driver and headed for the barn office. As he suspected, a note was taped to the phone.
Gone into town to get pizza. Crist, Leah, and Iva
.

The dogs barked then, and Jacob looked out the office window. Samuel and Rhoda came out of the house, holding hands. But within a few seconds, they released their grip and put distance between them.

Disappointment waged war with acceptance. Would he ever be able to see them together without feeling as if he’d been sucker-punched? He believed they were meant to be together, and his feelings for her had faded greatly, but how could they expect him to stay here and help?

Jacob drew a deep breath and left the barn. The last thing he needed right now was to get caught in an enclosed space with those two. That would be too many emotions colliding.

“Hey.” Samuel strode across the lawn, putting more distance between him and Rhoda. “You’re back.”

“I am.” Jacob held up the note. “Leah, Iva, and Crist went to get pizza.”

Samuel glanced at Rhoda as she continued walking their way. Was he concerned how she’d take that news? After all, she was supposed to fix dinner tonight.

Rhoda closed the gap between them. “You hungry, Jacob?”

“I ate at the hospital.”

“Gut.” Rhoda held out her hand for the note. “It’s dangerous to be hungry around here.” She glanced at the note. “It’s Leah’s handwriting, but she didn’t jot down the time they left. Samuel, if you call the pizza place, you may catch them, and they could bring you pizza.”

“Not a bad idea.” Samuel started to leave and then paused.

Rhoda shooed him. “Go. I haven’t had a moment alone with Jacob.”

Samuel disappeared, and Rhoda rolled gravel around under one foot. “How are you? Really?”

He wasn’t sure how he felt about her asking. “Fine.”

She gazed up at him with her piercing eyes, and he was sure she knew every truth he’d ever hid from anyone. “I am sorry. Painfully. Awfully. Terribly so. I should’ve been the one to let you go.”

“You’re kidding. Would you have taken
that
away from me too? I saw what I needed to, and I had the strength to walk away. It let me be a hero of sorts, making a clean cut for all our sakes.” Although now that Leah had given him her description of a hero, Jacob wasn’t so sure he wanted to be one anymore.

“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“I let go for both of us to find happiness, Rhoda. Not just for you.” It would simply take him longer to find that joy, in part because he had to figure out who he was all over again—not because he’d lost her, but because he was free from his legal mess and free to pursue his dreams as a skilled, joined-the-faith Amish man.

She stared at the barn. “I didn’t know how I felt about Samuel, not until the day it came to me that we needed to build a harvest kitchen on this property. Revelation hit, and I realized how I felt. In turn, I immediately agreed with what you had been telling me—that you and I needed to leave here together.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does. I don’t want you to think Samuel and I were sneaking around. The three of us are connected. We own a business together. And we’ll be family once …”

“You marry Samuel.”

“Ya.”

“When?”

She searched his eyes. “With Phoebe and the situation as it—”

“Soon, then.” He didn’t need her to finish the sentence, but his heart pounded as he faced the choices in front of him. He could react with the offense he felt, or he could respond in a way he’d be pleased with years from now.

“If things were different, we’d wait until you had someone and no longer minded.” She turned toward the orchard as if it called to her even now. “That will happen, you know. You’ll look at me and think,
I thank God I’m not with
her.”

“I’ve had days of that already.”

“I’m sure you have.” She smiled, gentle understanding radiating from her. “If you’d tried the dinner I just fixed Samuel, you’d be laughing at him for thinking he wants to marry me.”

“That bad?”

“The dogs turned up their noses.”

Laughter burst from him. “You’re kidding.”

She shook her head, her cheeks a pink glow. “I wish.”

Her body language said she wanted to walk, so he ambled toward the orchard. Jacob took a cleansing breath. “He always planned on marrying the perfect Hausfraa.”

She fell into step beside him. “Ya, well, you can marry her and wag it in his face.”

Her humility and the hope she gave him about his future eased the offense he wrestled with when it came to Samuel and her. “We had some good times, didn’t we?”

“Don’t ever doubt that. You taught me to laugh again, Jacob. You brought
me hope and love. You lifted unbearable guilt off me by making it clear there was no way I could have saved Emma. And my heart broke with yours the day you left here. It didn’t really start to mend until I knew in my soul that you’d weathered the worst.”

Why did it feel as if they were able to talk more openly and honestly now than when they were together? “We don’t have much of anything left to hide from each other. Do we?”

“Not much.”

“I can’t come to the wedding, not this soon.” Amish tradition said any single sibling of marrying age was to be in the wedding party and celebrate with the couple all day and into the night.

“I understand. We’ll make some excuse as to why you’re out of town. Maybe even a few people will choose to believe it since we’ll have to get a special exemption to be allowed a quickly planned wedding. But”—she poked his shoulder—“when you find the best woman for you and get married, I’m going to come up to you throughout your wedding day and whisper, ‘I told you so.’ ”

He liked the idea of falling in love and being loved above all others by a woman he couldn’t even imagine yet. “You do that.”

“How are Sandra and Casey?”

Her genuine concern touched him, now as always. He’d put his sense of duty to Sandra and Casey ahead of Rhoda so many times, and yet she’d never doubted that he was faithful to her or that he was doing the right thing by his friends.

“Good. I was with them when I got word about Phoebe.”

“I’m glad they have you.”

“Sometimes, when I’m really weary of dealing with Sandra, I wonder if I’ve just convinced myself how important it is I stay connected.”

“Then I’ll pray about that too, that it becomes clearer in your heart why God’s asked this of you.”

Such kindness and sincerity. No wonder he’d fallen in love with her. But as they talked, he realized something. He wasn’t in love with her anymore.

Rhoda was too complicated, which was why Samuel had stayed up
most of last night talking to her, and when her gift stirred, she grew restless and difficult and became a target of those who feared her intuition wasn’t of God. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Suppose a new guy shows up in town, and he meets a really interesting woman, and they work on projects together, but she lets him believe she’s married when she isn’t. Why would she do that?”

“How old is she?”

“Does it matter?”

“Definitely. The thinking and rationale of a teen or a twenty-year-old is totally different from that of a woman in her midtwenties.”

“She’s about two years older than he is.”

“Older?” Rhoda’s eyebrows arched.

“Hey, watch the tone.”

“No, I didn’t mean anything by that. I just caught a glimpse that put everything into perspective.”

“How?”

“You said the guy is new in town, so anyone who sees them together thinks she believes she’s snagged a man.”

“No one saw.”

“Jacob, someone always sees, especially among the Amish.
You
just didn’t notice them. But she knew people were whispering about her, saying the old maid thinks she’s snagged a catch. She risked her reputation.”

Could she be right about that? “Are the Amish that rough on single women?”

“I don’t think they mean to be, but ya. Some started calling me an old maid at twenty, and they meant it.” Exasperation filled her face. “They earnestly warned me that I’d better get busy trying to hook a man. At twenty! Anyway, she must have strength of character to put herself in that position. And a strong desire not to marry. So the question is, how do you … I mean, how does the man feel about just being her friend?”

“It’s not an unappealing idea.”

“Is she interesting?”

“Yes, and witty and unconventional and mysterious.” A horn tooted, and Jacob turned, realizing how far they’d walked. “Must be another family meeting.”

“Just when it was getting really interesting.”

“Any chance this could stay between us?”

“No chance. It’s an absolute.” She made the motion of zipping her lips and throwing away the key. “Maybe one day, Jacob, you and I can be friends again.”

He doubted it. His self-esteem, or maybe just his ego, had taken a beating to have once loved her and then lost her to his brother. Even though Jacob could see they’d never been the good match he’d once thought, he still felt he was doing well simply to be here and behave like a gentleman.

While he and Rhoda walked back to where Phoebe’s and Steven’s parents stood, Crist drove the carriage onto the driveway. Soon they all stood in a group. Leah had two boxes of pizza in her arms, and Jacob saw Samuel eye them. A desire to tease his brother tugged on Jacob, but he just wasn’t ready.

Steven slid his hands into his pants pockets. “She’s weak, and her oxygen levels aren’t good, but keeping her fever down is no longer a constant battle, and the flu will have run its course by tomorrow. That’s our good news. The battle with the viral pneumonia is another story. Now that she’s survived the flu, the doctors think her best chance of beating the viral pneumonia is to be in a hospital that specializes in pulmonary conditions. One of the best facilities is in Boston, but that’s hours from here and from Daed’s place in Pennsylvania. She needs to be where family can visit, and I need to be able to visit her every day and still have time for the children. I’ve chosen Lancaster Medical.” He looked at Rhoda. “Does anyone disagree with that?”

Rhoda lowered her head and shrugged. “It sounds fine.”

Jacob felt bad for her. She’d made it clear she had no more insight than anyone else on what to do, but Steven kept hoping.

Leah passed the pizza boxes to Crist. “When, Steven?”

“Monday. I’ll go with her in the medical transport vehicle.” He focused
on his sister. “Rhoda, I’m sorry, but when I leave, I’m taking the children and their grandparents, and I’m not coming back until Phoebe is with me.” Steven closed his eyes. “If God wills it and she survives all this, she’ll need at least a month of rest and physical therapy.”

Samuel shifted. “Listen, we need help. Everyone leaves on Monday, but that gives us two days, three if we work on Sunday, to get the trees covered in oil. If we have enough hands in the orchard, we can do this, especially if the women are here to cook and bring food to the field.”

“He’s right.” Steven nodded. “If all the trees are coated with the oil mixture before everyone leaves on Monday, then, barring an untimely frost, Samuel has a fighting chance of the crop being healthy enough to keep the bills paid with the harvest. Any volunteers?”

The group gave their consensus, and Jacob managed to nod his head. Orchard Bend Farms needed him beyond Monday. More than likely Samuel and Rhoda would be married by the end of next week so they could stay on the farm and keep working it. “I’ll stay until the trees are sprayed. Then it’s time for me to go.”

Rhoda’s pursed lips formed a sad but encouraging smile. “That’s plenty to give, Jacob. Denki.”

When would Samuel and Rhoda share their news about their plan to marry? Now wasn’t the time. Jacob understood that. He only hoped he would be gone when the announcement was made.