Seamless (27 page)

George smiled, but Stella burst out in obnoxious laughter, accompanied by a couple of snorts. He started laughing while he signed the last contract and got in the car. As soon as he shut his door, he laughed harder.

“Better watch out for animal attacks,” he reminded her. “Be vigilant.”

Stella nodded, still snorting. “Fucking animals.”

They drove to the hotel while they chatted aimlessly, which was comforting because George was nervous about the weekend. Since they’d gotten back together, it’d been Stella’s shooting, recovery, the press, the kidnapping, the trial, getting Jamie arrested, and whatever else was going on in her life. They’d never just “had a weekend” together to do whatever they wanted, talk about whatever they wanted.

George pulled the rental into the Four Seasons.

Stella’s eyebrows rose. “Wow.”

“What?” He shrugged. He knew she considered it entirely too fancy, but he wanted this weekend to be perfect and carefree.

“Snooty,” she quipped, winking at him.

Stella stepped out of the car and George saw his favorite part of her body as she got out, the curve right under ass. It was perfect; he could trace that curve for hours. She dipped her head down so she could see him. “Come on. I’m starving and need hydration via alcohol.”

George followed her into the hotel after tipping the valet and having their bags taken up. The sweater dipped so far down in the back that he could see both tattoos.
Fuck.
They checked in and were in the elevator by themselves within minutes. He pushed her back against wall and lifted her, pulling her legs around his waist and devouring her mouth. The elevator slowed and stopped too soon. He sat her feet back on the floor and whispered, “I miss you.”

She was silent, but grabbed his hand and followed him to their room.

They stayed in bed and ordered room service for dinner, breakfast and lunch. Stella was spent and fell into a peaceful sleep after lunch. George looked over at her laying on the bed, naked, and sighed. They hadn’t put clothes on since they got there. He stretched, walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The mirror fogged up within minutes and George traced words on the mirror, the words that were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t quite say. Then he watched them fill in and disappear. The scalding water soothed him and the coconut soap reminded him of Stella.

He heard Stella yell as he wrapped the towel around his waist.

“No!” she sobbed. “No, Jamie…NO!”

George ran into the room and found her thrashing, fighting something, someone, in her sleep. He tentatively put a hand on her and she stilled. “Love. It’s me,” he soothed. He hated this, seeing her like this and knowing there was nothing he could do to help.

She whimpered and sobbed again, not awake yet.

George leaned in closer and kissed her mouth. “It’s me, Love,” he whispered in her ear, “you’re safe.”

Her eyes flew open with realization and resignation. “Sorry,” she muttered, turning away from him.

“Don’t apologize.” George tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “I thought you were doing better.”

She shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“Babe, come on, you can tell me,” he urged.

She sighed. “My nightmares are worse lately. Denise put me on different medication, but it doesn’t seem to matter.”

He sat on the bed, his back rubbing against her side, and looked out the window. “You know, all of this will be over soon.”

Stella nodded. “I hope so.”

“FBI going to arrest him?” he asked.

“I think so, but I haven’t heard from Harris since I got him to admit everything. I just figure they’re doing their bureaucratic pissing contest shit.”

“That’s probably true. I’m sure he’ll get you an update when they’re ready to move.” George pulled her hand into his and intertwined their fingers. “Well, let’s get ready and go get beer and snacks to tailgate, okay?”

Stella kissed the back of his hand and then stretched her arms above her head. Her fingers grazed the headboard and the sheet fell, exposing her breasts. He leaned down and pulled her nipple into his mouth. He felt her hands in his hair.

“I love you,” she breathed.

“I love you until it hurts,” he tried to explain.

“Yuck, George. Love isn’t supposed to hurt.” She cocked her head to the side in a question.

“Isn’t it?” He ran a hand through his hair. “If I didn’t love you so much, it wouldn’t hurt me to know that you’re home dealing with all this by yourself. If I didn’t love you to my core, I wouldn’t care that you have a tattoo basically declaring your fears. I want to take all that away from you, Stella. I want to be your comfort. I want to be your peace, like you are for me. I want all these things and one day I
will
get them. I will look at you and know that we are forever and there are no devils for you to fear, because I’m there.”

A tear escaped her left eye and he stooped to kiss it away, salty on his tongue.

“I want to kiss away all your tears,” he whispered before kissing her lips gently.

“I don’t deserve you,” she confessed.

“Yes…” he kissed her lower lip, pulling it gently between his teeth, “the fuck....” he kissed her top lip, running his tongue underneath it, “you do.”

It was cold in Denver, but there wasn’t any snow on the ground yet. They’d heard the snow in Aspen was amazing already. George was driving to the Ogden Theatre for the Avett Brothers concert. He’d bought tickets when planning the trip. He had to pay more than twice the price for the tickets off a reseller, but Stella loved them, so he got the tickets for her. It was a pretty cool venue. It’d been around since 1913 and was marked for demolition when someone bought it and refurbished in the early 1990s. It was smaller and the concerts there were said to be more intimate.

It was the coolest venue she’d ever been to and she was there because of George. He was her knight in shining armor, here to save her soul. She smiled remembering his sincere words earlier today and the thought behind them. She never thought she’d be able to have that sort of love again, the love she thought she had with Jamie.

They walked into the theater holding hands, shooting the shit about other people at the concert and the latest episode of
Breaking Bad
they’d both watched. It was so
normal
that her heart clenched. It had been so long since she thought maybe they could have a normal where they laughed at each other and unfortunate cases she was handling. She took his hand and felt light as they made their way to the concert.

“I heard this show sold out in like three minutes,” Stella commented.

“I think it was twelve, but thankfully there are people that buy tickets and then mark them up so that people like me can buy them for my hot girlfriend in order to get laid later.”

“Oh, that’s guaranteed,” Stella assured him. “Where are our seats?”

“It’s general admission, that’s why we’re here so early. Come on, let’s grab a place and then I’ll go get beer.”

“Holy shit, this is amazing,” Stella observed from their stools on the balcony, looking over the railing to the floor below them and thanking God they had seats. There’s no way she could be down there with all those people around her for hours. She was too old for that shit.

The concert was amazing. It would certainly go down as one of the coolest experiences she’d ever had. Everyone knew every song and sang as loud as they could with the band. The music filled her soul and let her forget everything else.

When it was over, they held hands and walked back to the rental car.

“I’m glad I don’t work for the FBI anymore.”

“Why’s that?” George asked, rubbing his thumb on the palm of her right hand.

“Because I think I’m high after that concert.” Stella laughed.

“I know, there was a marijuana cloud filling the entire place.”

Stella laid her head on his arm. “What was your favorite song?”

“Well, I loved all the regulars, but I think my favorite was ‘The Ballad of Love and Hate.’” He squeezed her hand. “What was yours?”

“All My Mistakes,” she said quietly.

That was Stella’s deepest fear, one that she hadn’t shared with anyone. She hoped she was more than just the mistakes she’d made, because it would be a very sad fate for her otherwise.

They sat on the back porch of the condo they were renting for the next three days, wrapped in each other and blankets. They’d gotten up really early and made the three hour drive to Aspen from Denver, had breakfast, and walked around a bit before heading back to the condo for an “afternoon delight.” Stella was awed by the mountains. The drive was one of those few moments in life that you slow down enough to acknowledge that there’s something out there bigger than you. Now she was completely relaxed, cupping her warm mug of coffee and looking at the serene, snow-covered mountain. She’d never seen anything close to the mountains that surrounded them.

George reached out and tucked a flyaway lock of her raven hair behind her ear. “What’re you thinking?”

“I’m thinking it’s about time I tell you a few things.” She sighed. Stella had been putting off this conversation, which was easy when they weren’t seeing each other that often, but she felt like she owed it to him on their weekend, especially when he’d been so honest with her about his feelings.

George took a sip of his own coffee and looked at the mountain too. “Okay.” His breath floated up and sailed off into the day.

“So, you know how you’re always pissed because you think I’m ready to walk away from you?” Stella started.

George blew out a long breath. “Yeah.”

“It’s not that I’m ready to walk away from you,” she paused, turning her intense gaze to the mountains, watching as her breath came out like smoke and then rose with the wind, “it’s that I don’t think I’ll be around for long.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” George sat up straighter and she could feel his eyes on her.

She didn’t turn to face him. “It means I’m pretty much living my life knowing I’ll die and thinking it’ll be sooner rather than later. I just don’t want this for you, George. You want forever with someone and I don’t know…” Her voice broke. “I don’t know if I can be your forever. God knows I’d love to, but I can’t even think about my future. When I try, all I see is black; a blank page that never gets written.”

“Shit, El.” George ran a hand through his dark, disheveled hair.

They were silent, both contemplating that reality. Then George got up and walked inside, leaving her with the reality that he may just agree with her. Stella took a sip of her coffee and wondered if this might be what finally drove him from her.