Sealed With a Kiss (28 page)

She looked around the kitchen at the cookies.
Most of the baking would end up in zip-lock bags, stacked in the
commercial freezer that Tess used, ready to be taken out in the
second week of January.

She’d been baking because she had a lot of
things to think about, things that required careful consideration
and an open mind. Instead of going for a long walk, a horse ride,
or a swim, she preferred to bake. It cleared her mind, filled her
tummy, and if she was lucky, helped her come up with a solution to
her problem.

But so far, after three hours of sifting
flour, creaming butter, and rolling out cookie dough, she still
hadn’t come up with any answers to her six-foot-two problem.

John had left Tess and Logan’s home before
sunrise. He’d wanted to be home before Bella woke up, which made
perfect sense to Rachel. She could understand him wanting to keep
their personal lives separate to their professional relationship,
she really could. But she wasn’t Bella’s teacher anymore, and she
most definitely didn’t want to feel like a billionaire’s dirty
little secret.

She had standards. Standards that she’d
conveniently pushed to one side last night. She didn’t regret what
had happened. John was an amazing man, but he wasn’t her amazing
man.

“What did you expect?” she muttered to
herself. “A pledge of allegiance, a proclamation of his utter
devotion, a promise of something more than friendship?” She would
have taken any and all of those options. But John Fletcher had
tiptoed out of her bedroom like a thief in the night, hightailing
it back to his own home before he was caught with his pants around
his ankles.

A loud bang came from the front yard. She
jumped and nearly dropped a baking sheet on the floor.

Tanner was supposed to call her if someone
came up the driveway. She looked at the clock on the wall. It
wasn’t like him to break protocol.

Rachel frowned. She was even beginning to
sound like John. With a curse, she left the baking sheet on the
counter and grabbed her cell phone and a sharp knife. She hit speed
dial and waited for Tanner to answer.

“Sorry, Rachel. I’ve been speaking with John
and wasn’t able to call you. Tess and Logan are home.”

The front door flew open and Tess yelled,
“Surprise!”

Rachel dropped the knife and headed into the
living room. She was so glad to see her friend that she nearly
burst into tears. “You’re home early.”

Tess’ smile disappeared. “What’s wrong?”

“Something smells great,” Logan looked
between his wife and Rachel. “I’ll get our bags out of the
car.”

“Then go and see Dylan,” Tess said without
looking at him. “He’s been texting you all morning.” She wrapped
her arm around Rachel and led her into the kitchen. “You’ve been
baking?”

Rachel sniffed back her misery. “It’s for the
drama club. I bought all of the ingredients from Safeway, so you’ve
still got plenty of food in the pantry.”

Tess waved away her shopping efforts. “I’m
not worried about that. You only bake this much when you’ve got
things on your mind. Did something happen to John or Bella while we
were away?”

Rachel shook her head. “They’re fine.”

“How are your parents? I know how hard
Christmas lunch must have been. Did they have another
argument?”

“No more than usual. Dad cut the turkey the
wrong way. Mom made too much noise when we were washing the dishes.
I didn’t stay long.” Rachel’s parents were always arguing. It was a
running joke in her extended family that one of them would have to
die before the bickering stopped. She’d moved out of home early to
get away from the constant stress of not knowing what would set
them off. Each time she went home, it got harder to return.

“So what is it?”

Rachel picked up a peanut butter cookie and
bit into it. “I slept with John.”

Tess stared at her. “What?”

“I slept with John and I don’t know how he
feels about us. About me.”

“How do you feel about him?”

Rachel put the rest of her cookie on the
counter and sat down. “He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever
met.”

Tess sat beside Rachel. “Have you asked him
how he feels?”

“Not yet. I’m worried about what he’ll
say.”

“You think he was using you?”

“No. He wouldn’t do that.” Rachel glanced at
Tess quickly. “I have a confession to make, but before I tell you,
I want you to know that we respected your property.”

“You slept with him? Here?”

“I’m sorry. We didn’t plan it. He brought
around a present that Bella had made for me and it just sort of
happened. It was spontaneous, and wonderful, and he left without
telling me how he felt.” She pulled some tissues out of a box.
“What am I going to do?”

Tess looked around the kitchen. “The first
thing we’re going to do is tidy up in here. And then you’re going
to talk to him.”

Rachel blew her nose and straightened her
spine. “Okay. I can do that.”

“Good for you.”

“You’re not angry with me?”

Tess smiled. “I could never be angry with
you. You’re my friend. You’ve got me out of more than one tricky
situation before. John would be a fool not to fall head over heels
in love with you.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Tess picked up a bowl and
walked across to the sink.

By the time they’d finished stacking the
dishwasher, Rachel felt a whole lot better. John wouldn’t have
slept with her unless he cared about her.

All she had to do was work out how much he
cared, and then she’d be happy.

***

John drove through Tess and Logan’s front
gates. Instead of the deserted front yard he’d expected to see,
Logan was busy unpacking their SUV. He’d thought Logan and Tess
were visiting family over Christmas, but something must have
happened to change their plans.

John parked his truck beside the garage.
“Need a hand?”

Logan put one of the suitcases on the ground.
“You might want to reconsider that offer. News travels fast.”

“You know?” John wondered how many other
people knew about the problems he’d been having with Oracom. Logan
must have found out through his newspaper buddies. It was a small
world, and even smaller when you were a reporter. He pulled a
suitcase out of the back of the SUV.

“Of course I know,” Logan said with a glare
in his direction. “Rachel was in tears in the kitchen. The whole
house smells of cookies, and Tess said Rachel only bakes lots of
things when she’s stressed or worried about something.”

“She doesn’t need to worry. She’s safe now.
No one is going to hurt her.”

“Including you?”

John frowned. “What do you mean? I’d never
hurt Rachel. As far as I’m aware, the ringleaders from Oracom are
behind bars. The Department of Justice is trying to extradite them
to the US to face criminal charges.”

Logan looked at him blankly. “I have no idea
who Oracom are.”

John backtracked through their conversation.
“Rachel was in tears?”

“Yeah. Maybe you should talk to her? Do you
want to tell me about Oracom first?”

“I can’t. Give Dan Carter a call.” He was
surprised when Logan didn’t pull his phone out and call the Chief
of Police straight away.

John picked up two suitcases and walked
toward Logan’s house. Before he took them inside, he wiped the snow
off the bottom of his shoes.

“John? What are you doing here?” Rachel was
standing in the hallway. The smile he was so used to seeing was
nowhere in sight.

“I came to see you.” Something was wrong. He
didn’t know how he’d expected her to react after last night, but it
was nothing like this. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she was
trying really hard to avoid looking at him.

“I guess you’ve found me. You can leave Tess
and Logan’s suitcases in the entrance.”

John put the cases down. “Can we talk?”

Rachel took a deep breath and nodded. “Sure.
What do you want to talk about?”

He looked around the entranceway. “Not here.
The snow has stopped falling. Do you want to go for a walk?”

Again, there was a hesitation, something that
wasn’t right. “I’ll get my jacket. It’s in my room.” She walked
upstairs and disappeared from sight.

John waited where he was. If Rachel regretted
what had happened, he’d feel like an idiot revisiting the place
where they’d made love. Maybe that was it. Maybe she wished that
last night had never happened.

By the time he’d worked out what could be
wrong, she was coming back down the stairs.

“Let’s go.” Rachel had wrapped a bright red
scarf around her neck and zipped her jacket up to her chin. She
walked one step ahead of him, avoiding anything that might be
considered a conversation.

John opened the front door and breathed in
the cold morning air. “Tess and Logan are home early.”

“They caught an earlier plane home.”

John stood on the porch, looking at the front
yard. Tess and Logan owned a big property. Even from the street,
the landscaped grounds and two-story home looked impressive. But he
wasn’t here to admire the scenery. He’d come to update Rachel on
what had happened.

He followed her out of the house, worried
about what would come next. “Dan Carter saw me this morning. The
people responsible for the death threats have been arrested. The
Department of Justice are trying to bring them to Washington DC for
a trial.”

Rachel stopped walking and turned around.
“That’s great news. You must be relieved?”

“I am.” He didn’t feel relieved. Not at the
moment. “You won’t need to have a bodyguard. I’ll reassign Tank and
Tanner to other projects tomorrow.”

She nodded. “It will make it easier for Bella
when she starts school.”

“What’s wrong, Rachel?”

She stuck her hands in her pockets and looked
toward the street. “You left while I was asleep.”

“We talked about that. I needed to be home
before Bella woke up.” He looked at her face. “Do you regret what
happened last night?”

Rachel glanced quickly at him. “What did
happen?”

John had a feeling that the answer to her
question wasn’t as straightforward as he thought. “I don’t regret
one minute of last night. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I was
leaving, but you were sound asleep.”

Rachel bit her bottom lip. “Do you want us to
see each other again?”

A sinking feeling hit him in the center of
his chest. “Did you think last night was a one night stand?”

“I don’t know what it was. I don’t…”

“Sleep around? But you thought I did?” John’s
voice echoed around them. He took a deep breath and tried to
control his pounding heart. “The only woman I’ve ever slept with,
before you, was Jacinta. I don’t sleep around. I never have. If you
thought I had, you don’t know me very well.”

“And whose fault is that? You keep your
feelings to yourself so much that I don’t know what’s going through
your head. When Bella went missing, you were quick to judge me. You
couldn’t stand the sight of me. Then last night, everything just
exploded and we ended up together. And then you left. I don’t know
what’s going on.”

“I can’t afford to tell people how I feel.
The last time I did that, I ended up on the front page of a
newspaper. I own a successful company and I have a lot of people
that rely on me. I can’t afford to make mistakes.”

Rachel’s eyes opened wide. “You think I’m a
mistake?”

“No. That didn’t come out right…”

“I think it came out perfectly right. And if
that’s the way you feel then I guess I’ve answered my own
question.”

“What question?”

Rachel threw her hands in the air. “I don’t
believe you. For some hotshot in the security industry, you know
nothing about people.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking
about.”

“I’m talking about us.” Rachel took a step
toward him and lowered her voice. “I want to know if last night
meant anything to you?”

John stuck his hands in his pockets. “Of
course it meant something.”

“What did it mean?”

“It meant that we’re friends. That I care
about you. Isn’t that enough?”

Rachel looked up at the sky, then back at
him. “I care about Tank and Tanner, but I wouldn’t sleep with
them.”

John knew what she wanted to hear, but he
couldn’t say the words. “I’m not ready to be in a relationship with
anyone.”

“Why did you sleep with me, then?” Rachel’s
eyes filled with tears and he felt like a complete jerk.

“I thought you understood. Everything I do
affects Bella. I haven’t got time to be part of someone else’s
life. It doesn’t mean that last night wasn’t amazing, because it
was.”

“That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.”
Rachel pulled a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose. “You’ve
forgotten what it feels like to love someone. You’re so busy making
money that you think it can replace what’s missing in your life.”
She straightened her shoulders. “I’m going back inside to help
Tess. Say hello to Bella and thank her for the present. I’ll see
her at school.”

“Rachel, wait.” She didn’t stop, so he walked
beside her. “I don’t know what you want.”

“Yes, you do,” she said sadly. “You’ve known
all along, but you’re too scared to do anything about it. Have a
good life, John.” She put her head down and walked quickly back to
the house.

John watched her walk away. Before he’d come
here, he’d thought everything was okay. But it wasn’t, and he
didn’t know if it would ever be right again.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Two weeks later, Rachel opened one of her student’s
workbooks. Emma had written a story about what she’d done during
her Christmas vacation. Although it didn’t involve death threats,
international espionage, or the FBI, it sounded as though her
family had enjoyed their vacation in Idaho.

It was more than Rachel could say. John had
tried to contact her after she’d left Tess and Logan’s home. After
five days of ignoring him, he’d finally got the message and stopped
calling her.