Sea Glass Island (16 page)

“I’m trying to do the right thing, Samantha. I’ve been honest about where I stand on relationships. Yet here you are.”

She allowed herself a smile. “Not scared off,” she guessed. “That must be making you crazy.”

“It really is. I’m only human. I’m only so strong. And God knows I want you.”

Her heart leaped at the reluctantly spoken admission. “Thank goodness for that. I was beginning to think I was out on this limb all by myself.”

“Well, you’re not, okay? I don’t know what to do with you.”

“Take me home. Maybe I can remind you.”

“Samantha!” Her name emerged on a tortured moan.

She reached across the console of his sports car and rested her hand against his cheek. The tiny muscle tensed under her touch.

“I’m not going to beg, Ethan. I’m sitting here in a bikini, for heaven’s sake. There’s not a lot left to your imagination and yet you’re still resisting. I get the message.”

He captured her hand in his and pressed a kiss to her palm. “I don’t think you do, not if the message is that I’m rejecting you.”

“Isn’t that the bottom line?”

“I’m
protecting
you,” he insisted.

She shook her head. “You can keep right on telling yourself that if you want to, but I know better, Ethan. You’re protecting yourself.”

He looked momentarily startled, then sat back. He closed his eyes and fell silent. Samantha waited.

“Maybe I am,” he conceded eventually.

“You’ve taken a lot of risks in your life, Ethan. You put your life on the line when you served in Iraq and Afghanistan. Let me know when you’re ready to take one more, okay?” She opened the door and got out of the car.

“Where are you going?” he asked, clearly caught off guard. “Get in here. I’ll take you home or back to your car, wherever you say.”

“No, thanks.” She pulled out her cell phone, which had barely squeezed into her bikini bottom. “Emily’s waiting for my call. She’ll come to get me. Go back to the party, Ethan.”

“I’m not leaving you here, all alone in the dark,” he said stubbornly. “Just let me take you back.”

Samantha had already dialed her sister, though. “Em, I’m in the parking lot at Ethan’s clinic. Come get me, okay?”

“Ten minutes,” Emily said tersely. “And if that man has done anything to upset you, I’m going to personally rip his heart out.”

Samantha grinned at the fierce declaration. “I might let you,” she said softly, trying to keep the tears that had gathered in her eyes from falling.

She disconnected the call. With her back to Ethan, she said, “She’s on her way. You can go.”

“I’ll leave when she gets here,” he countered, his tone unrelenting.

“She says she’s going to rip your heart out,” she said, glancing his way to judge his reaction. He merely smiled.

“Probably deserve it,” he said. “I’m still not leaving.”

Since it was clear he was going nowhere until her ride showed up, Samantha leaned against the car with her back to him to wait. Only when she saw the headlights of her sister’s car turning into the lot did she walk around to the driver’s side. Ethan rolled down his window, and before he could guess her intention, she leaned in and kissed him the way she’d been longing to since she’d first set eyes on him that day in her grandmother’s kitchen.

“Just a little something to remember tonight by,” she said breezily, walking away quickly and getting into Emily’s car.

Gabi was fanning her face in the front passenger seat. “That was not the sort of goodbye I was envisioning all the way over here,” she said.

“Me, either,” Emily concurred.

Samantha grinned. “Ethan wasn’t expecting it, either. You know what they say in show business? Always leave ’em wanting more. I imagine Ethan’s going to spend the rest of tonight wanting a whole lot more than that kiss.”

“Oh, boy,” Gabi said.

“What the devil went on tonight?” Emily asked.

“Not what you’re probably imagining,” Samantha told her. “No strippers at the party. No wild passion in the clinic parking lot. Just another standoff between two immovable objects.”

She had a hunch, though, that one of them was about to crumble. Her last glimpse of Ethan’s face as she’d walked away had revealed a man who was almost as fed up with being stoic as she was with trying fruitlessly to tempt him.

* * *

Ethan walked back onto the deck at Castle’s and poured himself a stiff drink. He turned to Greg, who was sipping club soda.

“You’re seeing to it that I get home,” he told his friend.

“Happy to oblige,” Greg said readily. “Especially if you’ll tell me what went on between you and the delectable Samantha. Speculation went wild around here till Boone reminded everyone they were talking about his future sister-in-law. That shut everyone down.”

“We fought,” Ethan told him. “Same as usual. And that is all I intend to say about that.”

“But you got her home?”

“Actually I got as far as the parking lot at the clinic, where I parked to have things out with her. Then she called her sister to pick her up.”

Greg stared at him incredulously. “Man, you are seriously out of practice at this whole dating thing.”

“I hadn’t planned on ever being adept at it again,” Ethan reminded him.

Greg studied him closely. “But you want to be, don’t you? Against all that better judgment you claim to possess, you want this woman.”

“Of course I want her. What man wouldn’t want Samantha? It hurts to breathe when I’m around her.”

“I’m talking about more than sex,” Greg said.

Ethan sighed. “So am I, if I’m being honest. She says I’m scared of taking a risk.”

“No question about it,” Greg said without hesitation.

“Thanks for being on my side.”

“I’m always on your side, but the truth is the truth. Until you get that stupid former fiancée out of your head, it will always be this way. You’ll edge right up to the dance floor, but you won’t step onto it.”

“I was on the dance floor just last night.”

Greg regarded him impatiently. “It was a metaphor.”

Ethan sighed. “I know that. I just hate admitting that anyone could possibly be right about me being a coward. I’m a decorated war hero. No one should be able to mention cowardice in the same breath with my name. Yet you’re the second person in the past half hour who’s made the comparison.”

“I don’t think anyone’s questioning your credentials in the hero department,” Greg said. “You aren’t the first man who’d rather face a bullet than put his heart on the line. I think it was easier falling in love the way I did, back when I was young and stupid and didn’t know enough to be scared out of my wits. Now I’m scared every damn day that my wife will get tired of all my PTSD drama and walk out the door with my kids.”

“That will never happen,” Ethan replied with certainty, relieved to have the focus shift away from his issues. “That woman is so crazy about you she’d walk through fire for you. You’re not going to chase her off as long as you let her in. Lindsey just needs to know you trust her enough to do that.”

Greg’s gaze narrowed. “You two have talked about this?”

“You know we have. She doesn’t have anyone else to talk to about it, so don’t get your knickers in a knot. Neither one of us is betraying you. We love you.”

His friend sighed. “I get that. And nobody gets this better than you do. I just hate that I’m putting her through this. It’s not what she signed on for.”

“She signed on to love you no matter what,” Ethan corrected. “And she’s definitely strong enough to get through this. So are you, by the way.”

They fell silent and sipped their drinks. The Scotch no longer held any appeal for Ethan, so he put it aside and ordered his own club soda.

“Nice job of deflecting the conversation away from Samantha, by the way,” Greg said, his good mood restored.

“Dodge and weave,” Ethan commented. “The first defensive maneuver we learned.”

“I don’t think it was meant to apply to a conversation between two buddies,” Greg said.

“Probably not,” Ethan agreed. “But I am done talking about Samantha, my love life or the entire freaking topic of romance for tonight.” He glanced across the deck to see Boone weaving a bit. “In fact, given my cynical mood, I think I’d better make a toast to the happy groom now, before I’m tempted say something that will be a real buzz-kill on the party.”

“You sure it’s not already too late?” Greg asked worriedly.

“Nah. I know my lines. Emily’s the best. The future’s bright. You’re a lucky, lucky man. Yada yada.”

Greg laughed. “Try saying that with a little more feeling, okay?”

“Do my best,” Ethan promised. Unfortunately, he shared none of Samantha’s acting skills, so it was odds-on that he’d miss the mark.

16

S
amantha’s headache in the morning was only marginally better than the hangover she’d endured the week before. She, Gabi and Emily had stayed up past midnight talking after they’d rescued her from the clinic parking lot. Samantha had practiced her little-used bartending skills to make strawberry daiquiris. A lot of daiquiris, apparently, judging from the pounding in her head. She’d lost count after the third batch.

She stood in a hot shower for a long time, hoping to clear away the cobwebs. Overnight one thought had echoed again and again—that the only way to grab the future she wanted was to stay here in Sand Castle Bay and fight for it. That meant letting go of New York and everything it had once represented. She needed to wholeheartedly embrace a new plan for her life, then throw herself into it with total passion.

And, she told herself firmly, it couldn’t be about Ethan. It had to be what she wanted. She had to keep reminding herself of that. If he eventually fit in, all the better.

When she finally made her way downstairs, she found both of her sisters already at the kitchen table. The coffee had been made, but she noticed that neither of them appeared to have the stomach for food this morning.

“You look surprisingly good for a woman who staggered upstairs after midnight,” Gabi said cheerfully. “Is that due to great recovery powers or excellent makeup?”

“Bite me,” Samantha suggested cheerfully, pouring steaming coffee into the largest mug she could find before joining them.

Emily chuckled. “I love seeing you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Off your game,” Emily said. “I’ve always known you had vulnerabilities. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t, but you always covered them so well. Along with everything else, that made me a little crazy.”

“Happy to give you the gift of my insecurities,” Samantha responded. “Consider it a wedding present.”

“I’d be content with that and nothing else,” Emily claimed, then grinned. “But the crystal wine goblets you sent are gorgeous and way too extravagant.”

Gabi looked thoroughly amused by the claim. “I didn’t think there was anything you’d consider to be too extravagant. Your bridal registry choices were evidence of that.”

“Since I’m only doing this once, I wanted things that would last a lifetime,” Emily told her without the slightest hint of remorse. “I imagine you’re not even bothering to register, since you don’t want all the wedding commotion.”

“As a matter of fact, we’re not,” Gabi responded. “But from you we expect presents. Lots and lots of them. I’m thinking Waterford crystal, French china and antique sterling silver place settings. To make up for the guests we’re not inviting,” she added with a grin.

“So you can use them for barbecues in the backyard?” Emily taunted right back.

“There’s no reason not to set a lovely table, no matter where it is,” Gabi retorted, sounding a lot like Cora Jane.

“Enough,” Samantha said, trying not to laugh at the silly argument. She lifted her mug. “Here’s to each of us having the wedding of our dreams, period. And happily-ever-afters, et cetera.”

“I can drink to that,” Emily said.

“Me, too,” Gabi agreed.

For a moment, they sipped their coffee in companionable silence, until Emily regarded Samantha with real concern. “Are you going to give up on Ethan? That’s how it sounded last night. For the record, I think it would be a crying shame if you do.”

“I agree,” Gabi said. “Even after what happened last night, here you are in that football jersey of his. It’s like your personal comfort blanket, your way of being close to him. I know you’re not immune, no matter how badly you want us to believe you are. I don’t care if you do think he’s the one protecting himself from the risk of being hurt again. I think you’re only marginally better. Maybe he needs to see that this isn’t some game to you, that you’re not going to walk away. It might reassure him.”

“He knows I’m not immune to him,” Samantha said. “Why isn’t that enough?”

“Because he’s Ethan and he’s terrified of another rejection,” Emily responded.

“Blast it all, I’m not Lisa!” Samantha said.

“We know that,” Gabi soothed. “On some level, he knows that, too. Still, after what he’s been through, it’s bound to be scary to put his pride on the line again, to say nothing of his heart.”

“I know all that,” Samantha said. “So does he, if he’s being honest with himself. That doesn’t mean we can resolve things between us.”

“Well, you sure won’t resolve them if you go running back to New York right after the wedding,” Emily said. “I can give testimony on how difficult it is to work things out long distance. Even with the best intentions in the world, Boone and I almost didn’t make it.”

Samantha drew in a deep breath, then told them what she’d decided. “I’m not going back, at least not to stay. Eventually I’ll go back to pack up my things and sublet my apartment, but I’m staying here.”

Gabi’s eyes lit up at once. “And opening that playhouse?”

“I’ll have to see about that,” Samantha said cautiously. “But if Grandmother doesn’t mind me hanging around here with her, I’ll at least start those acting classes and see where that leads.”

“That’s fantastic,” Gabi said with real enthusiasm.

Samantha glanced at Emily, whose expression wasn’t nearly as thrilled. “You disagree?”

Emily shook her head. “No, I think the classes and the playhouse sound great, just perfect for you. I’m just thinking about me. Selfish, I know, but it’s going to add to the pressure for me to give in and move back, too.” Tears filled her eyes. “Not that I wouldn’t love to be right here with you guys so our kids can all grow up together, but I’m so afraid I’ll lose myself and everything I’ve accomplished if I’m here. It’ll be so easy to forget about everything I wanted to do.”

Gabi gave her a sympathetic look. “You know that I totally get that kind of concern, but I’m here to tell you that you can reinvent your life to be anything you want it to be right here in Sand Castle Bay.”

“And if you need to do the occasional job in Los Angeles, I imagine Boone will be supportive of that,” Samantha added.

Gabi’s expression brightened. “And if you want to make a contribution by designing safe houses for women who need them, then start an organization in North Carolina that does that, if one doesn’t already exist. I’d be willing to bet that Sophia would give you all the help you ask for. Being here will only limit you as much as you allow it to.”

Samantha nodded. “I totally agree, Em. You’ve proven yourself, maybe even exceeded your wildest expectations. Now take all that experience and talent and run with it. Do something that really matters to you, just do it here.”

“I’m living proof it can happen,” Gabi reminded her.

A smile broke across Emily’s face at last. “I can do that, can’t I? Especially with you guys as cheerleaders.”

“Of course you can do it,” Gabi said. “Castle women can do anything they set their minds to. We have Cora Jane’s word on that.”

“As soon as Boone and I get back from our honeymoon, I’m going to speak to Sophia, see what she thinks,” Emily said with resolve.

“Why wait?” Samantha asked. “She’ll be here later today for the rehearsal dinner, won’t she? Sit down with her this afternoon. You’ll go into the wedding with a lighter heart if you have her ideas and her blessing. I know you think of her as a role model and mentor.”

“I’ll do it,” Emily said, jumping up to hug them both. “I love you guys. You’re amazing.”

“We’re Castles,” Gabi repeated. “According to Grandmother, it’s in our DNA.” She turned to Samantha. “Now that we’ve got Em pointed in the right direction, what’s your next step? Are you just going to put up flyers? Announce you’re teaching classes? Find a storefront space and open a school?”

“I’m still working out the details,” Samantha said.

“Well, if your focus is on teaching acting, why not start by talking to Regina Gentry?” Gabi suggested. “I imagine she’d have plenty of ideas about what she’d like to see available in the area. She might even have a long list of potential students she’d share with you. And it might even be wise to get her more involved.”

Samantha frowned. “More involved? How? Why?”

“She’s been the respected drama teacher around here for years,” Gabi reminded her. “You don’t want to give her the sense that you’re trying to take over from her. It could cause a rivalry you don’t need. Ask her to direct scenes for you for a showcase. Have her teach some specific technique. I don’t know. Just get her invested in your plans beyond giving advice.”

Though Samantha worried a little about what Ethan would think of her working with a woman he’d so recently called out for her insensitivity, she immediately seized on the idea. “You’re absolutely right. I’ll head over to the high school later this morning, see if she’s available. I need to kick-start this plan so Ethan knows I’m serious about it.”

Emily and Gabi exchanged a look.

“Despite your denials, I knew Ethan was the real reason behind this,” Emily said, obviously delighted. “Am I good at this matchmaking stuff or what?”

“As soon as you’ve finished congratulating yourself, how about butting out?” Samantha pleaded. “I can take it from here.”

“That remains to be seen,” Emily said. “If I don’t see progress, I’m butting right back in.”

Samantha sighed. “Of course you are.”

“It’s nothing any loving sister wouldn’t do, right, Gabi?” Emily said, grinning.

Gabi chuckled and once more lifted her mug. “Count me in.”

Samantha frowned at them. “You do realize I’m not the holdout, right?”

“She’s right,” Gabi said, her expression turning thoughtful. “We need to get Wade and Boone working on Ethan.”

“Please don’t,” Samantha begged. “He’ll pack up and move to Alaska or something.”

“Where you could hunt him down and make love in front of a roaring fire,” Emily said dreamily.

Samantha rolled her eyes. “I thought I was the one who’d made a career out of make-believe.”

“Fairy-tale endings aren’t make-believe,” Emily protested. “I have mine, Gabi has hers and yours is just around the corner.”

Samantha laughed. Nothing like a healthy dose of pie-eyed optimism to get the morning off to a good start.

* * *

When Samantha dropped into the high school office, she was greeted by a wide-eyed girl who looked vaguely familiar.

“Hi, I’m Sue Ellen,” the teen said. “And you’re Samantha Castle. I can’t tell you how inspired I was by your talk after rehearsal the other day. It just made me want to work all the harder to become a huge star.”

Samantha smiled, remembering now that this was the play’s lead, the girl with the almost terminal case of stage fright. “You’re serious about acting?” she asked carefully.

“Sure,” Sue Ellen said, then flushed. “I mean I know I suck in front of an audience. All those people scare me to death, but I can act. And movies and TV aren’t as hard, right? Just learn a few lines at a time, then play to the camera.”

“It’s not quite that simple,” Samantha told her, but Sue Ellen didn’t seem to be swayed by her gentle wake-up call. “I came to see Mrs. Gentry. Is she available?”

“She has study hall right now, but I’ll bet she wouldn’t mind if you stopped by.” She wrote down the room number and drew a map of the hallways. “Just go on in. You’re supposed to have an official pass, but nobody’s going to care.”

Clearly Sue Ellen was a rule-breaker, Samantha thought, hiding a smile. Maybe that would be enough to give her an edge in Hollywood.

A few minutes later, she found the room, tapped on the door, then poked her head in. Mrs. Gentry’s eyes lit up. She hurried over to the door.

“Samantha, what brings you by? Isn’t the wedding tomorrow? I thought you’d be swamped with last-minute details.”

“Cora Jane’s had everything under control for a month,” Samantha said. “She swears all we need to do is to show up for tonight’s rehearsal dinner and the ceremony tomorrow.”

“Lucky you. I remember how chaotic it was when my daughter got married, but then I don’t have your grandmother’s organizational skills.”

“Few of us do,” Samantha agreed.

“So, what can I do for you? Can I persuade you to stop by another rehearsal next week? Maybe give the students some pointers?”

“I’d be happy to do that, but I’m sure they don’t need my suggestions,” Samantha said. “You’ve always been an excellent director. I remember how much I enjoyed working with you. I learned a lot that summer.”

“A good student takes something away from every experience,” Mrs. Gentry said. “I’d love it if you came by Monday afternoon.”

“Then I’ll do that,” Samantha promised. “In the meantime, I wanted to run an idea by you.”

“Oh?”

“I’m thinking of staying here in Sand Castle Bay and offering a few acting classes,” she told the teacher. “Maybe starting a school and, down the line, even a playhouse. If I do all that, I’d love it if you’d get involved with me. What do you think?”

The teacher hesitated for a long time before replying. “If I’m being totally honest, I have mixed feelings,” she said. “And I hope you won’t take this the wrong way. It’s absolutely not because I’m jealous or afraid that you’ll steal my most promising students. As I said just a moment ago, I think the most dedicated students could learn a tremendous amount from you.”