SE Jakes Bound By Honor (17 page)

With Damon, safe, Tanner could easily give himself over to the fantasy. “What would you let them do to me?”

“I’d start by letting them tie you up. No, I think I’d rather be the one to hold you in place myself. I’d hold you from

behind…

spread you, let them take you, one by one. And you’d try to move, to get away, but they’d be fucking you so hard and

you’d love it.”

Tanner didn’t mean t o whimper, but he heard the sound emerge and i t made the look o n Damon’s face grow more

intense and so he didn’t try to hide the sounds.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Damon asked a s he nuzzled Tanner’s neck, grabbed his arms a nd held them behind

Tanner’s back. “Would you do that for me, prove what a good, sweet boy you are?”

He opened his mouth to answer and something came out, not a word, but some sound that was raw and needy, and

Jesus Christ, he craved this man like he was water i n the hot desert. Trusted him, and Tanner never trusted anyone,

unless it was his team on a mission.

This was no mission. This was…

This was quickly becoming everything.

LC pretended to stumble as he walked out into the back al ey where the first attack had happened, lit a cigarette and

waited. He hadn’t told Renn or anyone else his plan, because he was pretty sure one of them was in on this. It was the

only thing that made sense.

The attacks hadn’t happened in the same place twice in a row, and LC’s gut told him the man would circle back here

looking for his next victim.

If it was JP coming back, it would leave LC little choice but to finish what Damon started al those years ago. When the

club scene was new and fresh to both men. When LC had final y come to terms with the fact that Greg wasn’t going to let

him down, no matter how many chances he gave the man to do so.

And he’d given him plenty of trouble.

“You’re going to have to trust someone one of these days, Law,” Greg would tel him, and even though he’d lived in the

man’s house for a year, LC had stil avoided the human contact beyond nameless sex. He was fourteen at that point—too

young to be doing what he was doing. Too young to know any better, but he felt so damned old.

Until Styx and then Damon came into the house t o live, and he watched them interacting easily with Greg. Laughing,

joking, even though neither of their lives had been a cakewalk until that point, either.

Those three men brought him back from a place so dark, he thought he’d never make it out. But Styx would come into

his room without knocking, refusing t o let L C kick him out, would whisper his name i n the dark after L C would have yet

another nightmare, would come in and hold him until he went back to sleep.

LC never told anyone Styx did that. Whether or not Greg or Damon knew, they didn’t let on. But Styx final y brought LC

out of his shel . Got him to sit at the dinner table with the others, like they were real y a family.

Alone, in the cold, with those memories to keep him warm, LC realized this had been a big mistake.

He hadn’t al owed himself to think on the past this much in a long time, but with Damon wanting to sel the club,

Jesse’s death and now Tanner…wel , things were changing, and he felt himself ache in ways he didn’t think he ever

would again.

Tanner and Damon were fal ing i n goddamned love. As painful a s i t was t o watch, he also hoped both men

stopped fucking it up.

The back door of the club swung open, and LC turned swiftly in its direction in time to see Paulo, black leather jacket

a startling contrast to his blondness, and looking very little like a cop.

Except for the handcuffs half stuffed in his pocket, but everyone at Crave usual y carried their own pair. “Hey.”

“Hey.” LC lit another cigarette and thought about quitting for the mil ionth time as he did so. Paulo joined him, took the

cigarette from his mouth and took his own long drag before returning it to him.

“What are you doing out here al alone?” Paulo asked.

“Just getting some air.”

“You wouldn’t be trying to take down this perp on your own, right?”

He glanced at Paulo cool y. “I served in the fucking Army, you asshole. I’m not just some dumbass who owns a club

and likes to fuck.”

Paulo responded b y pressing L C back against t he wa l a nd kissing hi m, ha rd enough tha t L C w a s startled into

responding, even though he’d told himself that one night with Paulo was enough.

“And I’m not just some dumbass who can’t see what you’re trying to do.”

“What’s that?”

Paulo fingered the edge of the gun that stuck out of LC’s side. “Pushing me away as hard as you can because you’re

scared.”

LC laughed a little. “You’re wrong about that.”

“You’re trying to forget someone and not succeeding.” Paulo pressed both his words and his body against LC. “No,

that’s not true. You’re scared you were succeeding. Because in my apartment, you came more times than I care to count

and not once did I hear you cal ing out anyone else’s name but mine.”

Paulo’s eyes glittered—half anger, half lust and al determination.

“I can’t argue with that,” LC said quietly, and for a long moment that admission hung in the cold air between them.

Paulo’s eyes softened. “I wanted to stop by and give you this.” He handed LC an envelope, and LC

slid it open and looked at the gift certificate to a local tattoo shop.

And he smiled.

“I noticed you liked mine and didn’t have any of your own. Not something you want to rush, but I think you’d look

damned fine with one,” Paulo said.

LC stared down at it, couldn’t look at Paulo. “Thanks.”

“Glad you like it. I wish I could stay longer, because I swear to God, I’d let you fuck me right against this wal , but I’m

working tonight.”

This time, at the mention of fucking—and working—LC looked up. “So this was on the pretense of official business?”

“I plan to make you my business, any way you want it.” With that, Paulo pushed away from LC and walked off down the

al ey. LC stood there with his back against the bricks, his erection straining his jeans, and he wondered how that man

saw through him so easily.

Hel , maybe it wasn’t that hard after al . He’d never been accused of being transparent with anyone but Styx. Every

time he slept with another man, it felt like he was alternately trying to exorcise Styx from his mind while somehow

betraying him al at once.

He pul ed his cel phone out of his pocket, flipped it open and stared at the number that had been there forever.

He hadn’t dialed it once in ten years.

Would he come if LC cal ed? Had too much time and distance—too much of everything—passed?

There was only one way to find out. And so he speed-dialed the number and waited for the voice on the other end.

When the phone rang, Styx was alone in the motel room, waiting for Clint, aka Tomcat, to come by for his weekly

checkin.

Clint was now so deep undercover, Styx wondered sometimes if he’d ever come out of it.

Styx often wondered the same thing of himself, but tonight, he was al right. That is, until he glanced at the phone and

his heart nearly stopped at the name that flashed across the screen. The name of the man he’d been thinking about as he

fucked countless, faceless other men in an effort to forget.

Why now? It had been ten years. Ten years and four months to be exact, and he might be pathetic enough to know the

number of days as wel . Had something happened to the man he’d been unable to forget? To Damon?

With a hand that practical y shook, he answered the phone and gave a tentative, “Hey.”

“I wasn’t sure you’d answer.”

Styx sat up in bed, felt as if he’d hyperventilate. In a hoarse voice said, “For you, Law, always.”

“I don’t know why I cal ed.”

“Is everything al right?”

Law took a long time to answer and Styx just held the phone to his ear so he could hear his former lover’s breathing.

Took comfort in the fact that Law thought to cal him at al , no matter the circumstance.

If he asks me to come to him, I will.

“Everything’s fine here,” Law said final y. “I just…”

“What?”

“Nothing. Started thinking about the old days. About Greg.”

“Yeah. I think about him a lot myself.” Greg would’ve kicked his ass from here to wherever the hel he’d been born for

staying away from the man he loved for so long. For wasting time.

“I started thinking that I should’ve erased your number the second you left.” Law’s voice sounded hol ow. “I wanted you

to know, I’m doing it now. For my own sake. I have to.”

Before Styx could say anything else, Law said, “Be wel , Styx,” and the line disconnected.

Law was final y going to give up on him. And while Styx was relieved as hel that Law might actual y have a shot at

staying safe, the hol owness inside his own chest threatened to crumble him.

Christmas Eve turned rapidly to Christmas Day. Damon had never real y celebrated since Greg died—

when he’d been alive, he’d always forced them to. At least they’d pretended to be forced, but Greg knew they al liked

the presents and the tree and the dinner.

These days, he and LC celebrated by keeping the club open for those who didn’t have a family.

Christmas Eve was traditional y one of their busiest nights.

And Tanner hadn’t gone home to his family even though he’d told Damon they’d been expecting him.

No, Tanner had stayed in his bed, with Damon’s dick in him for most of the time and let LC worry about the club.

God, how he looked, fresh, wet red marks on his chest, nipples reddened and taut from the abuse they’d taken from

Damon’s mouth, his hands…wrists bound and legs spread wil ingly. Heavy cock, stil half-hard, despite the many hours of

play.

“More, Damon. Please. I need…more…”

He did. Damon was glad the boy recognized his needs, because Damon definitely needed to give him more. Tanner

was begging him to come and Damon would flip him, take him soon.

As much as he wanted to be face to face with the boy when he was inside him, he stil hadn’t been able to bring

himself to do it. For him, that was the biggest intimacy, and he knew somewhere in his mind he thought that if he could

keep himself from doing that, he could keep from getting hurt.

So far, it had worked only because Tanner hadn’t pushed the issue. Seemed to like being taken from behind and held

down, but Damon knew it was only a matter of time before things changed.

Tanner was changing. Getting stronger. Maybe so much so that he’d realize that he didn’t need Damon.

Damon was beginning to realize that he’d needed someone like Tanner for a long damned time.

Wanted to sleep next to him, wake up next to him. But first, the boy needed to come, and come hard. And so Damon

turned him to his hands and knees and pushed inside and Tanner did come. Gasped, red-faced, tears in his eyes and a

look of total and complete satisfaction on his face.

Damon did what any good Dom would do—held him for a few moments, gathered Tanner against him and just let him

be.

“Are you staying tonight?”

“I want to, Damon. I just don’t want you to freak out again and kick me out.”

Damon studied him for a long moment before pul ing handcuffs out. He used the now-familiar ritual, locking their

wrists together.

Tanner stared down at the band of steel that connected him to Damon.

“You like that, sweet boy?”

“Yes,” he managed.

“Good.” Damon pul ed him close again. “I won’t take it off, even if you beg me. Not until morning.”

“That’s probably the best Christmas present I’ve gotten in a hel of a long time.”

Tanner meant i t sincerely, and Damon understood. Between Tanner’s non-relationship with hi s family a nd the Army,

holiday celebrations were few and far between. “Me too.”

Tanner smiled and then it faded. “I have more training this afternoon.”

He said it quickly, like it was a confession he needed to share.

Damon nodded. The Army didn’t stop for holidays. “From here on in, it’s going to get intense as hel for you.”

There was already some bruising along Tanner’s chest, back and legs that Damon had noted last night and again this

morning. His feet were ripped up from the long hikes and his hands were tough with cal uses.

They would beat him down, the way they had in boot camp and again in Ranger school, but the Delta tests and

training…

that was something you couldn’t ever prepare for. “You’l do okay. You’ve got the mental game down.”

“I’m trying.”

“You can’t let what happened with Jesse fuck with you. You did nothing wrong. Everything right. Let it go.”

Tanner nodded.

“I lost teammates, Tanner. It was hard as hel , and I swore my CO was made of stone when he told us to move the

fuck on. But he wasn’t doing it to be an asshole—he was doing it to save our lives. If your mind’s somewhere else, it’s not

on your job.”

The guilt of the fight he and Jesse had right before Jesse left for that last mission threatened to creep into the edges

of his memories but he ruthlessly pushed it out again. This wasn’t about Jesse or even about Damon.

Tonight, this was al about Tanner.

“Thanks for that, Damon. I know you don’t like to talk about it.”

“I’m trying.”

“That’s al I’m asking.” Tanner kissed his neck softly, and within minutes, he was asleep, his warm breath soft against

Damon’s skin.

Damon slept as wel , which was unusual and yet expected. Lying next to this boy for two nights had done more for him