Scryer (3 page)

The car pulled up to a smooth stop, and
my hand blindly reached for the door handle to escape, even though I couldn’t
tear my eyes away from his. “I’ll never be your slave. It doesn’t matter if you
killed her or not. Your kind always ends up killing us one way or another
anyway.”

The door opened, and I pulled away from
Michael’s hold, stepping out of the car. The driver gave me a brief nod as he
closed the door behind me. We were outside my apartment and I ran past him
toward the safety of the apartment building. My hand still clutched the newspaper
bearing the awful news of Anne’s death, and I didn’t let go, even as I sprinted
up the stairs. I wanted a shower to wash off Michael’s touch and his warning.

But I stopped short when I saw who was
sitting outside my door. Danilo’s eyes were half open, hazy and drugged. It took
him a moment to register my presence, and his lips cracked into a smile.

“Where have you been? I’ve been waiting
here forever.”

I angrily put my key in the lock and
turned it so he had to scurry to move to avoid falling backwards when I opened
it.

“Bitch,” he said as he got to his feet
and followed me in.

“Bitch yourself.” I put my bag and the
paper on the counter. His eyes scanned the contents of the newspaper quickly.

“You heard, huh? No wonder you’re in
such a bad mood.” He made his way to the fridge and pulled out two beers, one
of which he passed to me after opening both of them. “Here’s to Anne—a lamb to
the
slaughter
.” He lifted the bottle to his lips and sucked its contents
down like he needed it to live.

“Show some respect.” I took a sip of my
own beer.

He gave a bitter laugh. “I haven’t got
time. Someone’s killing us.”

I stared at him. “You’ve got time to get
high all the time. That’s not going to help you protect yourself.”

He pointed a finger at me, laughing and
taking another drink. “Actually, that’s where you’re wrong. It stops me from
killing myself.”

He was right. The herbs he smoked
continuously not only gave a gloriously invincible feeling, they also helped to
block out visions. Unfortunately, they were highly addictive and in short supply.
The herb
moiraine
only grew in the most carefully cultivated conditions.
Mountains in summer mostly, and were always hard to get to.

“Who’s supplying you now?”

He touched his nose. “Not telling.”

“Why? Wouldn’t I approve?” I asked him
darkly, taking another drink.

He shook his head. “Nope.” Then his face
twisted into that irritating smile again. “But you’re my friend, so I’ll tell you.
It’s Do-ro-thea cunt face.”

I nearly spat out my beer. “The fuck?
Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head again. “I knew you’d
be a bitch.”

I gave a snort and took a long drink
before answering him. “It’s her way of controlling you. She does nothing out of
kindness.”

He spun around on his barstool like he
was a kid. “I know. I don’t need a lecture.”

I stayed silent. He knew what Michael’s
wife was like. Dorothea Corin was, like all of them, power hungry and ruthless.
She had been a lesser member in the Circle until Michael married her, and now
she paraded around like she was a queen.

The minutes passed, and I finally asked,
“What’s happening to Anne’s body?”

Danilo stared into space, and for a
minute I wondered if he had heard me. He finally spoke. “Her friends claimed
her. Unlike us, she actually had some. She fit in.”

“That’s good.” I took another drink and
did my best to stop my hand from shaking.

After
Danilo left, I ran a bath so hot my skin turned red. I sat in it like it had
the potential to cleanse every part of me, although I knew that it would never
wipe or clean my memory or mind. I drank more ice cold beer and thought of
Anne. After my mother had killed herself, I had lived with Anne and her mother
for a while before striking out on my own. Her mother had been a quiet woman
who barely left the house and acted like she was scared of her own shadow. She
didn’t go to the rituals any longer, but no one from the Circle ever came
searching for her. It was like they knew that part of her sanity was gone, and
they didn’t wish to be tainted by her. Besides, she had born a child to
continue her line. She had done her duty.

If her mother was like a mouse, then
Anne did everything the opposite way. She made friends. She laughed and smiled
as if trying to prove that her destiny could go fuck itself.

But she lost in the end.

We would always lose.

A fat white candle sat on the edge of
the bath. It had been accompanied by Penzance’s bright pink candles, but I had
hidden those away in the cupboard and scraped off the wax that they had left
behind. I tried not to think of Anne or Abbey, or Michael or Lake. I tried to
think of nothing but that candle and its wick. Concentrating hard, my mind
reached out to it, and I could almost feel the wick as if physically touching
it.

And then I saw the wisp of smoke and I
sat up abruptly, letting out a laugh. Nearly, I nearly had it. I’d never been
this close before. Sinking back down in the bath, I drank my beer, smiling for
the first time that day.

I was drunk by the time Penzance cracked
opened the bathroom door. “Are you still alive in there?” She poked her head
in, making sure that I was hidden by the water and steam before entering.

“Yeah. We need to buy more beer though.
We’re all out now.” I let my empty bottle fall from my hand, and it landed on the
bath mat with a dull thud.

She bent down to scoop it up and
grinned. “There’s this new club that we’re all going to on Friday. You
have
to come. They’re having half price cocktails.”

“Sure.” I agreed, my head clouded by the
alcohol running through me. Would I be alive by Friday? I mused drunkenly.
Everything in me was dulled, and the idea didn’t strike as much fear in me as
it normally did.

“Great!” She lingered by the door as if
she wanted to say something else.

“What?”

“I saw Lake today,” she said hesitantly.
“I ran into him outside my work.” She thought that Lake had dumped me and
broken my heart…only the heart part was true though. He had betrayed me.

I became still. “Oh?”

“He asked about you. I think he still
likes you.” She kicked at the vinyl on the floor.

“He doesn’t, Penzance,” I managed to
say.
He never did, he just used me.
It hurt to even think those words,
and I sure as hell wasn’t going to say them out loud.

She cleared her throat. “Okay. Well,
anyway, I’m cooking dinner. It’ll be ready soon.”

“Thanks.”

She closed the door, leaving me enclosed
in the steamy room once more. But now I didn’t have to think about Anne or fire;
I had Lake to think about instead. He had sucked me in. He had said all the
right things and treated me so well, I had finally thought that maybe I could
have a normal life with someone who I couldn’t read. I was so stupid. The
realization of how naïve I had been was like a humiliating slap in the face.

 Finally, after so many hot and steamy
make out sessions where I had thought he was being a gentleman and truly in
love with me each time he stopped us from going further, we had sex. It was
romantic, in a hotel with rose petals and champagne. The sex was beautiful and
sensual. It was everything that I had ever hoped for.

But then it happened.

As I lay there, recovering from my orgasm,
the visions poured from me as he began to ask the questions, just like at the
rituals, and I couldn’t stop myself. Tears ran down my cheeks as I gave him the
information that he used me for.  The words came uncontrollably from my mouth
as if I were possessed and our lustful union had released demons within me.
Once it was over and I regained control of my voice and brain, I grabbed my
clothes and ran naked from the room. People stared, but I didn’t care. Once in
the safety of the stairwell, I sobbed loudly as I struggled to dress. He was
one of
them,
and he had played me for a complete fool.

Lake Corin. Nephew of Michael. He hadn’t
wanted to wait until he was of age for the ritual. He was ambitious and hungry
for power—so he went out on his own and seduced the first stupid, lonely scryer
that he met.

Me.

Penzance broke me out of my miserable
reverie by banging on the door and yelling that her culinary attempt was ready.
I sighed and stood in the bathwater, almost wishing that I would slip and hit
my head on the hard surface of the bathtub and knock myself out. It seemed like
the only way to get rid of this depressive feeling that was hanging over me.

It lasted until the rest of the week.
Nightmares of a dead Anne and seductive Lake plagued me, almost to the point
where I wanted to call Danilo and beg for some of his stash of
moiraine.
But
I didn’t. The last thing that I needed was another Corin controlling me,
especially the cold-hearted Dorothea. So instead I drank, much to Penzance’s
delight.  She was under the impression that I was ready to become a party
animal like her. For our Friday night plans, she dressed me up. I had already
drunk several vodka and cranberry concoctions that left me light-headed and
numb.

She treated me like I was a doll as she
twisted my limbs into a tank top that plunged deep to reveal my cleavage while
cropping just below my naval to reveal my taut abdomen. “You should get this
pierced. It would look so sexy,” she told me as she self-consciously touched
her own stomach that had thickened lately with her fast food diet and lack of
exercise.

I said nothing as she stared at my flat
stomach with envy, but then she seemed to shake herself out of it and reached
for the skirt that she wanted me to wear. It was a shiny fabric that was
designed to look like leather, but wasn’t. It was fake, just like I was, wearing
these sexy, skimpy clothes as if I were trying to be someone else; as if I were
trying to live in a world where I were normal and my only thoughts should be about
trying to find a decent guy to hook up with.

“It’s too short,” I said as she pulled
it up so it sat low on my hips.

She looked up at me from where she
kneeled below my standing position. “It’s perfect. You need to show off more
skin. You’re too pretty to be wasted and hidden away.” She took my calf in her
hand and forced my leg up to slide my foot into a high heeled gold sandal.

When she had finished, I studied myself
in a full-length mirror. My hair had been curled and my make-up heavier than
normal. My first thought was of a prostitute, and I wondered just briefly about
Penzance’s motives. But then I remembered that this was how she and her friends
all dressed. I would fit in.

Maybe.

I had another drink and stopped looking
in the mirror.

One of Penzance’s friends drove us. We
piled into the car, and one of the girls whom I was pressed against wore a
watch. In the shiny, flat surface of that innocent little object, I saw her
early death. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to breathe and count silently
until the car stopped and I didn’t have to touch her anymore. There was a line
at the club, but the girl who would die early knew the bouncers, and we
sauntered past the lesser people who had to wait, smug smiles on everyone’s
faces.

The darkness of the club was interrupted
by flashes of light that made me blink and squint. A thumping began in my head,
and it was nothing to do with the music.

“I’ll get us drinks!” Penzance screamed
at me. That was a good idea, drinking was good, drinking made you forget and
hopefully unconscious.

The drinks she brought back to the table
were pink, complete with straws and she told me the name, but it was something
too ridiculous to take in. I sipped it, surprised that it tasted like heaven
and slid down my throat so easily, I couldn’t even taste the alcohol.

Penzance laughed and pointed to my empty
glass, happy to go and get more. I felt everything in me loosen up, and the
only thumping in me soon was the music. I wanted to dance, and I yelled that to
Penzance. She wasted no time in grabbing my wrist and pulling me onto the
floor. We weaved between people, Penzance’s iron grip on my wrist and her fast
pace meant that there was no going back. When we were where she decided was the
best place to be, she released me and turned to face me, beginning to dance and
move her hips in a way that didn’t seem to correspond to the music. But she
didn’t care. She flung her head back carelessly and closed her eyes, swaying as
if there were some invisible band there playing a seductive beat just for her.

I followed suit. Hands in the air, I
began to dance, reveling in the fact that the only thing that I could feel was
the beat of the music drumming through my body. Men started to crowd around us,
and I didn’t even care. I felt sexy and powerful, and Penzance, even with her
eyes closed, had a knowing smile as if she knew that they were there and
lusting after her.

I laughed and for an instant closed my
eyes as well, but a hand touching my hip made them fly open. A man I didn’t
know was dancing with me, and that was okay.  I felt so loose and free that I
didn’t even care. Penzance had moved away from me to dance with her own guy,
and soon she was lost in the crowd.

 But something made my head twist and I
could see the bar from where I danced. My eyes zeroed in on him immediately.
His short hair, high cheekbones, slim build that disguised the muscles
underneath…Without a doubt, it was Lake standing at the bar, leaning against it
like he owned it, and the world lucky enough to have him in it. Even from that
distance and that dim light, I could tell that he was staring straight at me.

I gasped involuntarily, all the horror
and horrific depression that he had caused in me reared its ugly head again. It
was as if there were a heavy, physical presence crushing my chest and making it
hard to breathe. I needed distraction.

I grabbed the guy who was touching my
hips and pressed his face into mine. His lips stuck onto me like an octopus,
and he seemed to have just as many arms touching me everywhere. Grabbing at my
bottom through the skin tight skirt, reaching up to grope my breast through the
thin cotton of the tank top, then growing bolder, his hand managed to sneak up
underneath the underwire of my bra to touch the swelling flesh, and pinch at my
nipple.

I didn’t care though. The disgust within
me was good because it managed to make that crushing feeling of disappointment
and lost love disappear. The octopus man bit at my lips and thoroughly screwed
my mouth forcefully with his tongue in such a way that it was impossible to
escape his onslaught of groping. Truthfully, I would have let him fuck me right
there and then on the dance floor if it meant that it would clear all thoughts
of Lake from my abused mind.

But then something flashed; something
shiny, maybe a watch or a cellphone.

And I saw.

I saw this octopus man beating his
girlfriend. One of those large hands held onto her hair so tight that it was
amazing that her scalp didn’t come away in his hand. She gave a moan, and it
was the sound of someone who had been through this so many times before that
they no longer had the energy to fight.  I saw as he pulled his cock from his
pants and forced her to her knees to part her already bruised and swollen lips.
He didn’t care as she cried. He just jammed it further down her throat so she
gagged.  A look of ecstasy came over his face as he used her.

I pulled my eyes away and pushed, hard.
When that didn’t work, I slapped him and made sure that my nails left ribbons
of blood down the side of his face. He stumbled back, eyes open in shock. He
wasn’t used to girls who fought back.

“What the fuck!” he yelled, eyes bulging
as he took a step forward, and his hands formed fists.

“You’re a pig,” I yelled over the music.
“An abusive, cock-sucking, pig!” There was a pause in the music, and heads
turned to us as they all heard what I had just said.

His face twisted, and his hand came out
and reached for my throat, wrapping around it and squeezing before I could even
comprehend what was going on. For a moment I didn’t care, my life would be a
short one anyway, but then I realized that I didn’t want to die at the hands of
someone as pathetic as this. I kicked his shins, but just as I did, a fist flew
through the air, knocking the octopus man off his feet, and letting me breathe.

Caleb, my fuck from the week before, stood
there. “Shit, are you okay?” he asked.

“Fine,” I managed to rasp out of my
bruised throat as I stumbled back a few steps and the crowd parted for me.
“Fine. I’m always fine,” I muttered. I turned and pushed past people, heading
straight for the door and fresh air. I briefly caught sight of Lake. He was
still at the bar, watching me, but his face was expressionless. I tore my eyes
away from him.