Screens and Teens (19 page)

Thinking about Stewardship

Am I too dependent on technology?
Is it controlling me, or am I controlling it? Do I use it appropriately and also use offline
resources in tandem and appropriately? Am I wasting more time than is appropriate with my technology? Do I think technology can make me or keep me happy and that's why I use it when and how I do? Would it help if I learned how to handle quiet and solitude better?

Are all these screens necessary?
In what ways do they increase my quality of life? Are they taking over my life in any way? What are some healthy and enjoyable nontech things I can intentionally make time for?

Am I on too many social networks?
Should I just choose one and become a better steward of my time and then maybe add another? Are my reasons for wanting to be on another appropriate?

Is my use of technology, including the Internet, flooding my spirit with desensitizing messages and stimuli?
Am I no longer bothered by conversations or visuals that used to upset me? Am I able to filter out harmful messages or content? Am I letting things slide and not blocking what I used to?

Thinking about Spiritual Growth

Do the consistent messages I receive through my social media feeds, emails, texts, and news alerts support my biblical values, love for God, and Christian worldview?
Are these healthy, helpful, harmful?

Is my online activity or use of other technology causing my heart to wander in a spiritual sense?
Do I feel closer, more
distant, or unaffected in my relationship to God? Am I thinking with a Christian worldview more or less than before? Am I satisfied with the “Verse of the Day” or do I take time to study God's Word?

When online or engrossed in a game or other technology, do temptations (of any sort) increase?
Do I need to change what I do? Talk to anyone? Can I steward my time and attention in other ways?

Am I using technology to impart grace, love, and life in Jesus' name?
Is God pleased with how I'm stewarding my screen time and technology? Are there things I could do intentionally to spread the Gospel and help others mature in their faith specifically through technology?

I pray you're not overwhelmed by what seems like a long list of questions! These questions are meant only to spark and shape your thinking, together with your teen. They're certainly not meant to become the basis of interrogating your teens. Use them as parameters for your own tech life, perhaps openly sharing with your teens how you respond to the questions. Perhaps your teen will feel ready to incorporate some of these questions in his or her thinking about technology.

Depending on your age, I imagine you've gone from one type of phone to another, from desktop computers to laptops and tablets, and from one gaming system to another. And there'll be
something new before we know it! No matter what tools and toys come our way, as adults who care about young people, we have to commit to stay alert and involved.

Nehemiah and Mordecai are two Old Testament heroes of mine. They provide an excellent example of what happens when God's people stay alert and get involved.

Nehemiah saw Israel in exile trying to reconnect with their roots and trying to reunify their hearts by rebuilding their home. He didn't despair and do nothing. He wept (Nehemiah 1:4). He prayed regularly (1:6), beginning with praise about God (1:5). He admitted where he had sinned and fallen short (1:6). He planned (2:5ff). He motivated people to work with their whole hearts (4:6). The environment around him threw every distraction and obstacle possible at Israel. Yet Nehemiah courageously persevered, and the family of God was preserved and strengthened. The ways he dealt with these distractions and kept his focus inspires me.

And then there's Mordecai, Esther's older cousin, who raised her when she was orphaned. If you read the book of Esther, you'll see that he remained present in her life when she was recruited to possibly be the next queen (Esther 2:11, 21–23). He provided more than advice; he instructed her (2:10). Esther learned his wise counsel could be trusted (2:20). Mordecai challenged her to do great things (4:4–8, 12–14). Her following through on “such a time as this” ultimately saved the Jewish people (4:14–17). If you read this book through Mordecai's eyes rather than Esther's,
you'll learn much about parenting well during difficult times. As I often say, today's Esthers need a Mordecai.

Today technology and the Internet are part of home life, with all the good and bad that brings. The voices, noises, screens, and distractions of our culture can sometimes feel like a tsunami threatening the security of our homes and children. However, we can defend our families against the lies. We can be proactive and engaged in leading our teens with intention. Equipped with truth, we will expose the lies and battle for the hearts and minds of teens. What could be a better use for our time, effort, and energy? We can and we will connect with our kids in this wireless world.

Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families.

NEHEMIAH 4:14

To access a printable pdf of this discussion guide, go to
www.moodypublishers.com/978-0-8024-1269-0
. Click the “Resources” tab to download discussion guide.

P
eople of all ages—parents, grandparents, volunteers, teachers—come together because they care about this technology- saturated generation. Knowing we're not alone with our questions and concerns is a huge comfort. Beyond that, parents and their teens may use these discussion questions to help jumpstart some teachable moments about technology.

1. Over the years of your life, which new technology has sparked the most dramatic lifestyle change for you? What has been your favorite new technological tool?

2. How do you see the speed of technology changes affecting your family's life? Do you think your children are aware of these effects? How can you tell?

3. Every family experiences pressures. Are any of your family's current sources of pressure potentially linked to technology use? Are they pressuring parents, teens, or both? Do any immediate solutions spring to mind?

4. In what ways do you see digital tools enhancing your family life? How is it a particular blessing to you or to your teens?

5. Have you or your teens increased your dependence on technology so much that you turn to it to meet most of your needs? How is this dependence/trust/attention similar to worship? What is a more rightful place for technology, in your opinion?

6. Does being cut off from access to technology feel like a threat to your security?

7. How does your online/digital use define you as a person? Is your sense of self online different from your identity in the flesh-and-bone world? Do you think social media has affected your view of your identity?

8. Where would you say you feel most at home, comforted, and securely belonging? Do you feel more connected with your online interactions or out and about with people? Does home provide healthy belonging for you? What about your church family?

9. Where have you, as a parent, identified your purpose in life? Do you think your teens are aware of their purpose? What's the evidence? Whether they have or haven't yet discovered their purpose, how has technology been relevant?

10. Do the “perfect” posts you see on social media ever threaten your own belief in your competency? For you, does the best-foot-forward nature of social media posts feed perfectionism or make you feel like giving up?