Scattered Thoughts (Betrayed by Love Book 1) (10 page)

My body was on fire, my panties soaked by the effects of that one kiss. I pulled away again and this time he let me go. “Alec,” I said breathlessly. I wanted him to keep kissing me but I knew if I didn’t stop him now it would be too late. “We can’t do this.”

The waiter arrived with our dinner before either of us could say anything further. Alec sat back in his chair, that wicked grin of his spreading across his handsome face. I wondered what he was thinking but I didn’t dare ask. We were treading in shark infested waters and I needed to steer the conversation to a safer place.

“How’s the emergency?”

Alec’s expression hardened and he pulled his hand through his hair. “It’s being handled,” he said coolly. He refilled his wine glass and took another drink.

Great, I’d touched a nerve. I changed tacks again. “So, what made you start a cruise line?”

He pulled both hands through his hair this time. I’d expected that to be an easy question, but apparently I’d touched another nerve. “It was a wedding gift for my ex-wife.”

His confession surprised me. None of the research I’d done said anything about a wife.

Shaking his head as if clearing some awful memory, he continued, “But she ran off with my finance manager after they embezzled millions of dollars from me.”

“Why did you keep it? Why not just sell?”

“Believe it or not, cruise lines aren’t exactly in high demand.” He took another drink. “Plus, selling would put the jobs we created at risk. Some of our staff members left other jobs for this opportunity, others relocated, uprooted their lives, their families’ lives, all to work for Ultimate. I owe it to them to see this through.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed you to be the humanitarian type, you know, being Mr. Control Freak and all.”

“Oh, Isabella, you have no idea.”

I wondered silently what he meant, but I didn’t ask. I wasn’t exactly having good luck with conversation tonight. “What made you want to buy all these companies, anyway?”

“I’m an investment banker. That’s kind of what we do.”

He really was clandestine. Maybe that was why I hadn’t been able to find out anything about his motivations already. But I’m Izzy James. Digging into issues, discovering the unknown, that was what
I did
. “How’d you get started in investment banking then?”

Alec took a long drink from his wine glass, stalling maybe. I kept my eyes fixed on him, preparing myself to wait him out, no matter how long it took.

“I was a real handful growing up,” he said finally. “My parents died when I was young, so I moved to New York to live with my aunt.” He paused and took another drink. I raised my eyebrows, urging him to continue. “As if losing my parents and little sister wasn’t bad enough, I had to leave my friends behind too. I felt completely lost and started rebelling, vandalizing street signs, breaking into cars, stupid stuff really.

“Well, one day I got caught smashing the window of a pretty expensive sports car. The police officer had me cuffed and in the back of his cruiser before I even heard him coming.” He shook his head, a small smile on his face. “Boy, was my aunt pissed,” he laughed.

Intrigued by his reaction, I tilted my head, ready to hear more. “Turns out, the owner of the car was a high-profile investment banker. And when my aunt told him about my parents he took pity on me, agreeing not to press charges in exchange for a little hard labor. Needless to say I spent the next three months mowing his lawn, pulling weeds, trimming trees, anything he could find to keep me busy. I guess he got used to having me around because when he ran out of yardwork for me to do he started teaching me about investment banking. Eventually, he helped me get into Bendheim then gave me my first real job after I graduated.”

“So, in a way, breaking into cars saved your life?”

His smile grew. “I guess you could say that.”

“What happened to your parents?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth I wished I could take them back. Alec’s smile faded instantly. His whole body tensed and the grip on his wine glass tightened to the point I was worried he might actually snap the stem.

“There was a home invasion,” he sighed. “I was the only one who survived.”

“Oh, Alec, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

He took a deep breath. “It’s okay. It’s just not something I typically talk about.”

I reached across the table and covered his hand with mine, the enormity of what he’d just said really sinking in. Not just about his parents death, but that he’d shared this intimate detail of his life with me. “Thank you for trusting me with that, Alec.”

When he looked up at me there was sadness in his eyes that tugged at my heartstrings. I didn’t know what else to say. Luckily, Alec came up with the answer for me. “I’m done talking about me. I want to talk about you now,” he said, and I didn’t argue, even though there were so many questions I wanted to ask. They’d have to wait for another time. “Did you always want to be in public relations?”

“All I really knew when I left for college was I didn’t want to be a rancher,” I said honestly. “I changed my major dozens of times those first two years. By the beginning of my junior year, I was getting pressured to declare a major I would stick to. My dad had always told me I was a natural problem solver so I picked PR and went with it.”

“Do you like what you do?”

“Actually, I do. I love my job, or maybe I just love working, but whatever it is I’ve been happy at   Dimarco.”

“Have you ever thought about doing anything else?”

“Not really, but after that picture maybe I should start considering a new career,” I teased.

Alec shook his head. “I really am sorry about that.”

I wanted to tell him it was okay, that this dress, this night, more than made up for it. But that would’ve been a lie. He’d almost cost me my job, and I had no idea if my kids would ever forgive me.

“What were you like when you were a little girl?” Alec asked, changing the subject.

Good, another easy question. “I was never much of a ‘girl’ growing up. I was raised by a single father and we owned a cattle ranch. I worked hard every day.”

“That helps explain your feistiness, but certainly not your lack of discipline.”

“Lack of discipline,” I snapped, unable to stop the words from spewing out of my mouth. “I happen to have an abundance of self-discipline, I’ll have you know.”

“I’ll try and remember that,” Alec laughed.

I rolled my eyes, momentarily forgetting he wasn’t a fan of that, but we were so far over the line of professionalism I didn’t really care at that moment. He refilled both our glasses, that wicked grin settling on his face. “Although, your refusal to stop rolling your eyes at me suggests the exact opposite of what you’re saying.”

“Yeah, well, that’s a lack of tolerance. It has nothing to do with discipline.” I picked up my glass and took a long drink.

Alec laughed even louder but thankfully changed the subject. “Were you able to see your mom often?”

A deep sigh escaped, involuntarily. My pathetic excuse for a mother was the last thing I wanted to talk about. “Judy walked out on us when I was five and I haven’t heard from her since.”

Alec lifted my hand to his lips. “I’m sorry, Isabella,” he whispered, his breath warm against my skin.

I jerked my hand back. “Don’t feel sorry for me,” I snapped, his pity an unwelcome intruder. “I survived just fine without her.”

Alec grabbed my hand again and held it tight. “Isabella—” he breathed. His eyes closed and by the time he opened them again he was pulling me to my feet. “Let’s dance.”

Before I could object we were walking arm-in-arm toward the dance club at the ship’s stern. We spent the next three hours dancing, talking, and getting to know each other better. He told me about his ex-wife, “Charlee loved my money. She never loved me,” he said. I told him about Spencer’s affair, leaving out the part about the pictures. We talked about the twins’ plans after graduation and about how much my life was changing. We laughed, I cried, he teased. And by the time he walked me back to my cabin I felt as though I’d known him for years.

“I had a great time, Alec.”

He moved closer. Instinctively, I stepped back until I was pressed against the door of my cabin. “Me too,” he whispered, his lips inches from mine. I closed my eyes, waiting, wanting him to kiss me again even though I knew it was wrong. My divorce may have been finalized but that didn’t change the fact that he was still my client.

Before I could object, Alec lifted my arms over my head and kissed me. Softly at first, his tongue circling mine. I knew I should push him away, but I couldn’t. It’d been so long since I’d been touched like that. Passion burned deep inside me. He pinned my wrists against the door with one hand, his other hand trailed down my side, and I didn’t object then either. I wanted him, right there, right then.

Without warning, he released my arms and pulled away. “Isabella, I’m sorry,” he said, unable to look at me now.

No, please, don’t stop, I wanted to say but his kiss had left me breathless.

Alec opened my door, the door I’d been leaning against, and I had to step back to keep my balance. Pressing a soft kiss on my lips, he whispered, “Goodnight, Isabella.”

My eyes found his and were begging him to stay. But he closed the door instead, leaving me standing alone, wondering what just happened, wanting more.

I stepped out of my new dress and hung it in the wardrobe before getting in the shower. Thoughts of Alec were still fresh in my mind. His gorgeous green eyes, his grin, that kiss...my insides tingled just thinking about him. Maybe I was just lonely, but that night I felt things I hadn’t felt in such a long time.

Maybe you just need sex
, my inner voice chimed in, getting straight to the point. I tried to shake her off but she made a good point. It’d been over four months since I’d had sex, no wonder this control freak had me practically begging.

When I woke the next morning I felt refreshed after a full night’s sleep. I started a pot of coffee in the tiny coffee maker and fired up my laptop. I wanted to run through the boarding process checklist one more time before Tim arrived so it was fresh in my mind. If he even thought I’d been doing anything other than working last night it’d make for one rough weekend. It didn’t take me long to get dressed and by the time the coffee was finished I was able to get right to work.

I’d gone over the process several times and was just about to shut my laptop down when a knock at the door caught my attention. Tim wasn’t expected until later, so I knew it had to be Alec. An involuntary smile crossed my face and I had to remind myself again that he was a client. Even still I couldn’t shake the smile.

A quick look through the peep hole revealed it wasn’t Alec, but rather the porter who’d helped me to my room yesterday. I opened the door with a cheerful, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, ma’am,” he said with a smile of his own. Handing over a black hinged box and an envelope, he added, “These are for you.”

“Thanks,” I said hesitantly, wondering what this was all about. The porter offered no clues either, simply nodding and walking away after transferring the items to my hand. There was only one way to find out now, open the box.

I opened the card first.
“My apologies for last night. Alec,”
it read. My insides quickened as thoughts of his kiss flooded my mind, that passionate kiss that made me want him, the kiss I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.

My mouth dropped open the second I lifted the lid on the hinged box and saw the round cut diamond tennis bracelet inside. But before I could fully process the completely-over-the-top gift Alec had sent, the second such gift in two days, the alarm went off on my phone, reminding me that boarding was about to begin.

Reminding myself this was a business trip, I set the box on top of the wardrobe to deal with later, grabbed my binder off the table, and went to find Todd, the Shipboard Director, and our guide during the boarding process.

• • • • •

Passenger boarding didn’t take as long as I’d expected. Turns out Ultimate had limited the amount of tickets available for their maiden voyage. “Plus, we never book rooms on the same floor as Mr. Payne,” Todd explained when he escorted me back to my cabin. He reminded me about the launch ceremony then disappeared down the hall.

Figuring there would be plenty of press on hand, I ducked inside my room to change into a more professional outfit, just in case I got caught in another unfortunate photo op.

I hadn’t heard from Tim all day. I called him to see if he’d boarded but his voicemail picked up. After leaving a quick message about the launch ceremony, I dialed my voicemail to see if he’d called me back. There was one new message, only it wasn’t from Tim. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ll pick you up at one.” I broke out in a full mouth smile as I listened to Alec’s message again. The truth was, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him either. With a smile still on my face, I hung up the phone. When I glanced at the clock that smile quickly vanished. Shit, it was almost one. I scrambled to my feet to find a change of clothes.

Before I could finish getting ready, Alec was knocking at the door. I hurried to put on my shirt while I peeked through the peep hole, just in case it wasn’t him. When I saw it was in fact Alec, I opened the door. “I’m almost ready.”

Alec tapped his watch. “It’s one o’clock,  Isabella.”

“Yeah, well, some of us had work to do this morning,” I called over my shoulder as I headed back into the bathroom to freshen up my makeup.

“Are you suggesting I didn’t?” Alec called after me.

“If the shoe fits,” I said, laughing while I pulled a handful of mousse through my hair to calm the frizzy curls the humidity was causing.

“I’m not sure what shoe you’re talking about,” Alec said from the doorway of the bathroom. “Because I got up extra early this morning so I’d be ready in time for the launch. Now hurry up. The ceremony will be starting soon.”

Five minutes later Alec was pulling me toward the pilot house. “Why are we watching it from up here?”

“Did you see all the press down there?” Alec paused for a second to point over the railing. “If they get wind I’m aboard I’ll never get you alone.”

Wait. What? “Is that why Tim hasn’t arrived, because you want to get me alone?”

“I’ll never tell,” he whispered, a wicked grin on his face that said it all. At that moment I realized this wasn’t a business trip at all.

• • • • •

“Stay with me tonight,” Alec said as I packed up my suitcase to leave. I really wanted to stay. The last three days spent with him were the happiest I’d had in months, maybe even years. We’d walked through the garden, had drinks by the pool, and even watched a movie under the stars. Alec took me on a helicopter tour of the islands and snorkeling in Green Turtle Cay. He’d held me in his arms as we watched the sunrise over the Atlantic from the panoramic view of the Star deck, and later that night he held me even tighter as we watched the sun set over the Sea of Abaco from a beach in Marsh Harbour. It was a whirlwind of experiences packed into one unbelievable weekend.

All thoughts of work had been pushed far from my mind. Not one nightmare, not one worry of home. It was exactly what I’d needed. I didn’t want it to end, but deep down I knew it had to. We were back in the real world now, a world with guidelines on client relationships, and travel schedules, and two kids who were mad at me, who would surely blame
me
for the divorce.

Alec pulled me into his arms, his lips brushing up against mine like he’d done so many times this weekend. As I melted into his arms I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist.

“Alec Payne, what are you doing to me?”

“I told you I was dangerous, baby.” He kissed me hard and swatted me playfully on the backside. “Now let’s go. Preston will see to your bags.”

Alec led me down the elevator to the staff only gangway. He stopped at the top of the stairs and looked around, checking for photographers and overly zealous reporters, I presumed. He announced the all clear then tugged my arm, moving me quickly down the stairs to the waiting limo. “Where are we going?” I asked when we were both inside the car.

“My condo,” he replied with that wicked grin I’d come to enjoy so much.

My insides quickened as I considered the possibilities a night in his private space might bring.
Finally! Sex!

“For dinner,” he said, as if he’d heard my private thoughts. He kissed me on the hand, his grin bigger now. I sat back in the cool leather seat, silently wondering what I was getting myself into.

We stepped out of the elevator and into the large foyer of Alec’s condo. I was instantly struck by the breathtaking view of Tampa Bay from the floor-to-ceiling glass wall in the great room. I stared out over the water as thoughts of the first day Alec and I spent at sea flooded my mind. We’d stood on his private balcony, his arms wrapped tightly around me, watching the sea pass by. “I could stand here with you forever,” he’d said. And I’d secretly wished we could.

“Amazing view, isn’t it?” Alec said, pulling me into his arms. He kissed me gently then released me, leaving me wanting him that much more.

Without another word, he tugged at my arm and I followed him into the kitchen. “Sit,” he commanded, pointing to a stool by the breakfast bar. The tone in his voice was stern and it made me think about that swat from earlier. I couldn’t help but smile.

“What are you smiling about?”

“Just thinking about the weekend,” I answered truthfully. “I had an amazing time, Alec. I can’t thank you enough.” Although I was already thinking of a few ways I’d like to try.

Alec smiled silently as he opened the refrigerator and began pulling out ingredients.

“What are you doing?”

“Cooking you dinner.”

“Can I help?”

He poured two glasses of wine then handed me one. “You can tell me about that dream of yours,” he said causally as he began rinsing the vegetables he just pulled out of the refrigerator.

My body tensed, how could he possibly know about my dreams? My heart began to beat faster and a lump formed in my throat. I took a long drink from the glass he’d handed me.

Alec looked up from the cutting board where he was now busy chopping; his eyes finding mine, silently demanding an answer.

“What dream?”

Alec stopped chopping and leaned in until his lips were touching mine, then bit my bottom lip. Hard.

“Ow,” I protested.

He went back to chopping vegetables. “I told you, Isabella. I don’t like half-truths.” My sex tingled and I squirmed on the stool. “Now, are you going to tell me about that dream?” He leaned forward again. “Because I have ways of making you talk.” I bit my own lip this time, my insides quickening.

All this sexual tension had me ready to explode. I took a long drink, adding just the right amount of courage I needed. “Well, I’m not telling,” I said, practically begging him to make me talk. I’d wanted him since that first kiss and right then I didn’t care that he was a client. I hadn’t had sex in months and I was beyond ready.

Alec set the knife down and slowly wiped his hands on the kitchen towel. I took another drink of wine as he drew near. Without words, he removed the glass from my hand and set it down next to the knife. My eyes widened with anticipation. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, Isabella. I’m very dangerous.” At that moment I didn’t care how dangerous he was. He’d had my nerves on end all weekend, kissing me, exciting me, leaving me wanting. It was time for him to put an end to this misery.

He pulled me into him, my back to his front, snaking one arm around my waist and moving my hair to the side with the other. Trailing a line of kisses down my exposed neck, Alec’s hands roamed my midsection, down to my thigh, under my dress, trailing his finger along the waistband of my panties. His erection pressed against my back and I moaned softly. “Is this what you want?”

“Yes,” I gasped. He pulled his hand back to my waist and turned me around. “Yes, Alec, yes,” I moaned again.

“Not until you tell me about that dream.”

“Alec! That’s not fair.”

He smiled and kissed me on the nose. “I told you, I have ways of making you talk.”

“Taking advantage of a sex starved woman is hardly something to brag about, Mr. Payne.” I reached past him and picked up my wine glass, draining it quickly this time.

Alec’s eyebrows shot up. “Sex starved, huh? You better start talking then.” He started a pot of water then added the vegetables he’d been chopping to a sauté pan.

“What are you making?”

“Pasta, now stop stalling or I’ll be forced to try harder.” Alec unwrapped the ball of dough he’d pulled out of the refrigerator earlier and began kneading it.

I helped myself to another glass of wine. It’d been such a great weekend. I hated to ruin it by even thinking about my nightmares, but what choice did I have? After another long drink I said, “There isn’t much to tell, really.” Alec looked up from the dough he was kneading, his eyes narrowed. “How do you even know about my dreams anyway?” I asked, praying a distraction would do the trick.

“Dreams? As in more than one?”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Had he been talking about something else? “How often do you have these dreams?”

“I haven’t had one in days. Now tell me how you know about them.”

“You dozed off when we were waiting for the sun to rise. You were talking in your sleep.”

Dammit! My heart began to race. “What did I say?”

“Not until you tell me about that dream.”

Alec began rolling the dough through the pasta press, but his eyes stayed fixed on me. I didn’t want to talk about this but I knew he wasn’t going to let it go. “They started a few months ago. My doctor says they’re caused by stress. End of story.”

“What are they about?”

Dropping my head, I whispered, “Just a bunch of scattered thoughts. None of it makes sense.”

Alec stopped rolling the dough and looked deep into my eyes. “You sounded really scared, Isabella.”

“Alec, please. I haven’t had to relive those stupid dreams since before we left. I don’t want to think about them now.”

He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. “Fair point, baby.”

“It’s your turn,” I said, more than ready to take the spotlight off me for a while. “Tell me more about your marriage.”

Alec dropped the pasta in the boiling water and stirred the vegetables. “I wouldn’t call it a marriage, really. We met. We got married. We got an annulment. Our entire relationship lasted six weeks.”

“Six weeks.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

“Six weeks,” he repeated. He emptied the wine in his glass now too, and I knew I’d touched a nerve.

“Oh, speaking of money,” I said, hoping to lighten the mood once again. I opened my purse and pulled out the outrageously expensive bracelet he’d sent to my cabin the first day of the cruise. “I can’t accept this.” The dress was one thing, but diamonds? That seemed way too much too soon.