Scary Dead Things - 02 (31 page)

“ENOUGH!” roared Decker. “I tire of your games, vampire.”

“There was also Magnifico the Merciless, although I'm not so proud of that one...”

I was stopped as Harry grabbed me by the chin and moved his face to within inches of mine. “Do you want to know why you are going to die, or not?”

“Sure, as long as you pop a breath mint first.” This was going swimmingly...at least as long as he didn't follow through with the killing me part.

“Six months ago, the portents all spoke of your coming.” He backed up and began ranting. “The return of the vampire Freewills, who so long ago were wiped from the earth.”

“Wiped?”

“Yes. They didn't just disappear in a puff of smoke...or did you think that they had?”

“Well...” I said. Actually, I had never bothered to wonder. Now that he mentioned it, I guess immortals wouldn't just normally disappear unless something happened to them.

“What the portents did not tell us was that the reborn Freewill would be so...unimpressive,” he continued.

“You apparently haven't seen Bill in action,” commented Sally. Hard to tell if she was complimenting me or agreeing with him.

He ignored her and went on. “All of our divinings pointed to you, but we couldn't be sure. We couldn't risk warfare with the vampires over a nobody. Thus we have been watching you, waiting for confirmation.”

“So you took a job at my place just to keep tabs on me?”

“Yes. Although the sign-on bonus wasn't half bad either,” he replied. Asshole just had to rub it in. “However, I needn't have bothered. If I had known how readily your friend here would spill his guts in exchange for a little female companionship, I would have sent my protégé in sooner.”

*sigh* Let that be a lesson to you, my male friends. Never underestimate the power of the pussy.

He continued with his insane monologue, “Tonight only further confirmed your status...or did you think I hadn't noticed your little
transformation
outside of the cafe?”

“You saw that?”

“I see
many
things!” he said as what looked like an electric charge passed behind his eyes. Ooh, spooky.

“I see things, too. For example, I saw your ass get shot down tonight,” I snarked back at him, but it was weak. The ball was back in his court.

He continued, his grin growing wider. “Thus I saw no reason to hesitate any longer. Our legends tell that your coming heralds disaster for my people. Thus if you are erased, that future cannot come to pass.”

“So you're saying I'm gonna kill all the wizards? You know, it'd be funny if that happened, especially considering that before tonight I had nothing against you. Hell, I didn't even know you existed.”

“Not you, fool,” he replied.

“Not me what?”

“Not you! You aren't the one to bring disaster to us.”

“But you just said...”

“I said your coming heralds it. There's a difference!”

“OK, I'm confused now,” I said.

“Just now?” Sally added. “I haven't understood a word of what this whackjob has been saying for at least ten minutes.”

“ICONS!” He yelled.

“Huh?” I grunted.

“Your coming foretells their return. If the Freewills shall ever return, so, too, shall the Icons of faith. It was they who decimated the magi so long ago. If they return, they shall do so again!” he raved.

OK, I had heard of Icons. They were supposedly people of such great faith that their whole bodies became living, breathing weapons against vampires. They could turn us into french fries just by their touch; however, they were supposed to be as rare as vampires like me, maybe even more so.

“I thought Icons fought vampires.” I said with some confusion.

“Some did in the distant past. But then Christianity came. The vampires slunk off into the shadows before its wake and became nothing more than legends to the humans. My ancestors were not so fortunate,” he said, a little touch of mania starting to enter his voice. “Once, we were like
deities
to the people. We protected them against your kind and the other scourges of the night, and in return they made us their priests, their wise-men, their
god kings
!”

“Let me guess,” I interrupted. “Then this little thing called the Inquisition hit.”

“Yes!” he snarled. “That and other uprisings like it. Those who had praised us suddenly turned on us. They called us tools of Satan and suffered us not to live. We fought back and might have won if not for the zealots...the Icons...amongst them. They were able to resist our powers and drag us from our many seats of power. We were hunted almost to extinction before we, too, managed to retreat into the relative safety of legend, where we have waited ever since.”

“So let me get this straight,” I said to Decker, “You think that my being here heralds the return of another group and that if you kill me it somehow cancels out them as well?”

“Yes!”

“That is one of the stupidest fucking things I think I have ever heard.”

“How dare you...” he began.

“No, seriously,” I interrupted. “It makes no sense. You have about the biggest, stupidest case of circular logic that I've ever seen. It's not much better than ‘a duck has two legs, I have two legs, therefore I must be a duck.’ Think about it! I'll wait. You are in marketing, after all.”

“I did not expect you to understand. You are not even a man anymore; just an animal. What did you think that woman would ever see in
you
? She could no more love you than she could a beast,” he sneered.

Ooh, that was low. I didn't want to do this, but now it was time to get nasty.

I tensed up and blurted out, “
Wingardium Leviosa
!” (
What!? Hasn’t everyone read those books by now?
)

“What?” he spat.

“
Accio
...err, asskicking?” I replied.

“Cut that out!”

I threw in a bad English accent to top things off. “Or what, you'll make me drink
polyjuice
potion?”

“I'll kill you right now.”

“Oh no!
Avada Kedavra
...ugh!” I said, rolling my head back and playing dead.

“I do not find this amusing.”

I lifted my head and shouted, “
Stupefy
! Oh wait, too late. Guess someone got you with that one already.”

“ENOUGH!!” he screamed and threw up his hands. There was an electric jolt through the air, and suddenly I found myself flying back. I slammed into the wall and went down in a heap. I pretty much felt like I had just been put through a microwave, but a quick tense of my muscles confirmed that whatever he had just done had also broken his little containment spell.

I stood up and turned to face him and his little bitch of a witch, too.

I had no idea what the hell to do against them, but that didn't stop me from throwing them a grin of my own and saying, “Here I am, assholes. Rock you like a hurricane!”

And that's when the front door blew off its hinges.

Well, even if that line did sound lame, the follow through was pretty damn badass. Pity it wasn’t mine. Unfortunately, there was also nothing about it that boded well for me. Decker and his bullshit had hit at exactly the wrong time in my life. Yeah, OK, there probably wasn't actually a right time for a coven of witches to come along and declare that you needed to die so that they could go on frolicking naked in the woods during the full moon; however, I especially didn't need this crap right now, since it served to distract me from the assassins that were on a mission to turn my skull into an ashtray. I had been so preoccupied with Decker's loony ramblings that I had forgotten we were stuck in the loft, a place the assassins already had a heads-up about (
just ask Dusk Reaper
).

The front door, despite being a heavy duty security door, literally flew off its hinges and went slamming into the far wall. If anyone had been standing behind it, they would have been pancaked. Nergui stood in the doorway, flanked by his two death-dealing flunkies, Bang (
damn, that name never stopped being funny!
) and Cheng-gong.

“Give us the princess, and your death will be painless,” Nergui said to me, ignoring the others in the room.

The odds were pretty skewed against me, no matter how you looked at them. Three assassins and two mages on team 'Fuck Up Bill's Day' versus just three allies on my side, all of whom were either restrained, unconscious, or both.

Fortunately, that whole
the enemy of my enemy is my friend
thing is mostly bullshit. Decker's ego was too big to allow the three bruisers at the door to do his dirty work for him. “The Freewill is mine, vampire filth!” he yelled, bringing his hands up in a defensive gesture. Christy did likewise. Bunch of idiots. If Nergui killed me, then their insane little problem would be solved. Not that I was complaining if they wanted to fight it out, mind you. Still, what a pack of morons.

“His life is ours...” Nergui gave a sniff of the air and spat out, “
maapamba
. Leave now, and you will live.” He and his three companions stepped into the room. They unsheathed nasty looking daggers,
silver
daggers.

I stepped back, not wanting any part of the sharp objects being brandished at me. “Sorry, Harry,” I said to Decker. “They've got dibs. Good for you because I'm afraid of them. You...not so much.”

“Then I shall teach you fear, beast!” he snarled, pretty much right on cue. I tell you, some people are just no challenge.

Decker and Christy both murmured something unintelligible and gestured again. What can best be described as a distortion in the air appeared in front of them and then rushed forward to slam into my three would-be killers.

It looked impressive, like something right out of Hollywood, but it more or less did dick. The three vampires were pushed back and slammed into the wall, but none lost their footing. I don't think Harry was quite prepared for three elder vampire warriors. Guess he was still a first year at Hogwarts. Maybe he and Christy should go back to practicing their card tricks.

Though no damage appeared to be done, Decker was at least proving to be a distraction for the vamps. Nergui turned to Cheng-gong and gave a nod. Cheng threw his dagger. It landed hilt-deep in the floor at Decker's feet.

“That will be the only warning,” Nergui said to him.

Decker glared at Nergui, a look of madness in his eyes. He did not like being casually dismissed, not one bit. He actually started to glow. It started out as a dim white light but quickly turned an angry red.