Read Scary Dead Things - 02 Online

Authors: Rick Gualtieri

Scary Dead Things - 02 (15 page)

BOOK: Scary Dead Things - 02
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Kinda figured that
,
I thought back.
By the way, where the hell were you when I was talking to Sheila?

 


Oh that? Sorry, I was...eh...busy.

 

Busy? With what?

 


Busy with...fuck you, that's what! Now finish this thing, dickface!

 

*sigh* Life can be so difficult when even my inner monologue is an asshole.

 

I pretended to give way under Bang's assault (
damn, that sounded dirty
), until I’d bent my arms enough to get some leverage. I then put all of my borrowed strength into one big shove. As I did so, I let go of Bang's hands, and he went flying. The crowd went crazy. Oh yeah, I’m the people's champion! Can you smell what Dr. Death is cooking!?

 

The point being made (
and my nose a good way towards being healed; thank you, vampire powers
), I walked over to where Bang had fallen and offered him a hand up. This was apparently another feather in my cap because the crowd again went nuts. Over all of it, through, I distinctly heard Gan's voice yell, “Well done, Freewill!” in that shrill tone that only a sub-teenage fangirl can achieve.

 

I walked back to the center and soaked up some more of the applause. Hell, I even started throwing them some poses. So this was what the roaring adoration of a crowd felt like. OK, I take back what I was saying earlier. This was kind of worth getting punched in the nose for. After another minute of basking in my own glory, I glanced over at James to see if he was enjoying things as much as I. He wasn't.

 

James’ attention was diverted towards where the Khan sat. I followed his gaze and saw that the Khan appeared to be in the middle of an argument with his daughter. I couldn't hear what they were saying over the crowd, and let's face facts, even if I could it's not like I'd understand one freaking word. The argument appeared to be heating up, however. Gan kept pointing in my direction and yelling at her father. The Khan, in return, kept shaking his head and yelling back at her. What the hell? Maybe Gan wanted to perform some more insane tests on me and the Khan was telling her no. If that was the case, then I was definitely rooting for him. Hell, I might even take back what I said about Captain Kirk kicking his ass...maybe.

 

My attention was diverted from them by James. He had gotten out of his seat and grabbed hold of my arm.

 

“Your truck will be here soon. I think we should go,” he said.

 

“And leave my adoring fans?” I joked, but he didn't seem to be laughing.

 

“I think it would be in your best interest to leave
now
,” he said, sounding dead serious.

 

I was about to ask why, but, as is typical with my life, that was when all hell broke loose.

 

He Who Fights and Runs Away

 

 

 

The first thing I noticed was the screams. At first, I assumed they were just some more wild cheers from the crowd. After all, they seemed to be loving my shit up; however, upon a closer listen, I realized they were actually screams of pain and terror. Before anyone could react with anything other than confusion, one whole wall of the palatial tent collapsed in on itself. The resulting crash kicked up lots of dust and debris...a little too much. That was when I realized some of the dust was actually smoke.

 

As James and I were still pretty much in the center of things, he grabbed my arm and shoved me towards the entrance. “Go!” he yelled, half pushing me along. I may be relatively inexperienced (
although not sexually so...especially after last night
), but I'm not stupid. I got my feet underneath me and rushed in the direction James had directed. I made it to the hallway, which was still clear (
I was ahead of most of the vamps in the Khan's chamber
), and then bolted for the entrance itself. I made it outside and saw that the guards were nowhere to be seen. No wonder, too, as what had been a quiet settlement a few hours ago was now a battlefield.

 

Half the tents were burning. Thick smoke was everywhere. Vampires have excellent night vision, but smoke is another matter entirely. I could see forms running back and forth, but I couldn't tell friend from foe. Hell, I didn't even know who the foe was. What I did know was that people...err, vampires, that is...were dying. I could see occasional flashes of fire from inside the smoke. I'd seen enough vampires killed to know a dusting when I saw one. The big question, though, was: were the dying vampires the good guys (
relatively speaking of course
) or not?

 

I'm no soldier, but I'm also not an idiot. One of the first rules of battle is don't just stand there out in the open, gaping like a halfwit. Really wish I had remembered that rule. Maybe I should revise that not-an-idiot rating. But it'll have to wait because...OOF!!

 

As I stood there looking around, something solid and heavy slammed into my chest. The next thing I knew, I was on my back with the wind completely knocked out of me. From the feel of things, there were at least a few cracked bones in there as well. No wonder, as I was glanced around from my prone position and saw what the culprit was. One of those head-sized rocks lay only a few feet from me. Thank god for the Khan's little tests. If I hadn't been amped on another vampire's blood, that thing could have gone straight through me. Considering the trajectory and the force with which it had hit me, someone or something had thrown it...which I guess is kind of an obvious thing. I mean, rocks don't usually get pissed off at random people and hurl themselves.

 

That train of thought would need to wait, however, as I was roused from my introspection on the nature of angry, self-throwing stones by a bloodcurdling scream. Whatever it was, it was loud, close by, and scary as all fuck to hear. That's the type of stuff you hear in a horror movie just about the time you realize that the guns the heroes are carrying would be better served if they used them to blow their own brains out. I didn't even have a gun with which to shoot myself, thus I felt a wee bit screwed.

 

That was when a shape began to take form from out of the smoke. Something was coming to finish the job. I couldn't see much detail, only a vague outline, but it was enough to tell me that it wasn't a human, a vampire, or a magical pixie come to grant my wishes. Whatever it was, it was
big
. Hard to tell from lying on the ground, but I'd say it was close to nine feet tall. It appeared to be humanoid in shape, and judging from its muscular outline, it could have been the poster boy for steroid abuse.

 

The thing raised its arms and screamed again. It wasn't quite the same as a compulsion, but it was damn loud, enough to rattle in my bones. Unfortunately for me, I was just now starting to be able to suck breath again. If this thing decided to fuck me over, my choices were basically limited to closing my eyes and taking it like a bitch.

 

Or I could rely on a convenient save. That'd work, too. There was a quick whistling sound, following by a dull *thunk*, and the...whatever the fuck it was...screamed again and fell back from sight. I turned my head to look, and there stood James. Judging by the empty sheath by his side, he had just given that thing a sucking chest wound with a big-ass Bowie knife.

 

I’d just started to say, “Thanks,” when he grabbed me by the shirt and hauled me to my feet.

 

“For once in your life, keep your damn mouth shut and just follow me!” he said with a tone of urgency that instantly convinced me to obey. He ducked down and headed off into the smoke. I was still sucking gasps of breath, but there was nothing wrong with my legs, so I followed as best as I could.

 

More bone-chilling screams filled the night, but this time they were finally met with battle cries. From the sound of things, the vampires were attempting a counterattack. Yay for us. Go team vampire!

 

I had thought James would be heading towards them. After all, strength in numbers, especially when those numbers included centuries of ass-kicking battle prowess.  Thus I was surprised when he started leading me away from the sounds of battle.

 

“We're not gonna help them?” I asked.

 

“That was almost a full minute of silence. A new record for you, no doubt,” James hissed. “And to answer your question, no.”

 

“But don't they need us?”

 

“No, they do not need
us
,” he said, gliding to the edge of a tent and looking around. The coast was apparently clear, as he gestured for me to follow.

 

“But we could help,” I whispered back.

 

“Don't flatter yourself. I could help.
You
, on the other hand, would just quickly get yourself killed.” I would have felt insulted if he hadn't probably been right. I wasn't exactly born and bred to battle, and considering that my intelligence on the enemy consisted of the words
big
and
scary
, there was some sound logic behind James' insult.

 

“But what about the Khan? What about Gan?” I nevertheless protested.

 

“Don't worry about them. The Khan is far more formidable than he may appear.”

 

“But Gan's just a kid.”

 

“Yes,” James said, continuing to lead us towards the edge of the encampment. “A kid with ten times your life experience. Trust me. They can both take care of themselves.”

 

We reached the edge of the camp. The smoke had dissipated out here, and open desert stared back at us.

 

James turned back to me. “Can you move at top speed?”

 

My chest had come a long ways towards healing itself in the past few minutes. Even if I couldn't do my best, I could do a fair approximation of it. I nodded back.

 

He continued, “Good. From here, we move fast. In a flat out foot race, they won't be able to catch us.”

 

I had just started to open my mouth to ask
who
wouldn't be able to catch us, but I stopped when I noticed that James was already a dozen yards ahead of me.

 

* * *

 

When we had covered about two-thirds of the distance back to the original camp, James finally slowed down. We were probably out of danger by now, and even if we weren't, we'd be able to see anything coming for us long before it got here.

 

“What the hell was that all about back there?” I finally got a chance to ask him.

 

“Off hand, I'd say that was a surprise attack.”

 

Suddenly, an ugly thought occurred to me. “It didn't seem like much of a surprise to you,” I said and immediately regretted it. James stopped and turned back towards me. The look on his face was so intense that I actually backed up a step (
maybe two
).

 

“I'm sure I didn't hear that correctly,” he replied in an emotionless tone, “because that sounded vaguely like an accusation.”

 

God, I am an idiot! I presented someone with damning evidence against them when they clearly had the advantage. I just did the same thing that would normally make me scream at the TV when the morons on some show did it. How many scenes had I watched where some plucky young woman confronted her boss alone in his office about the corruption she’d uncovered at his hands? That almost always ended badly for the would-be heroine. Yet here I was, despite knowing better, putting my plucky young ass on the line with nary any backup in sight, against a vampire I stood absolutely zero chance against. It would serve me right to get ashed.

 

Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. “Funny how you told me we needed to get moving right before we got attacked. Or does that not sound a little suspicious to you?”

BOOK: Scary Dead Things - 02
9.75Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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