Scars and Songs (50 page)

I rubbed at the back of my neck and tried to avoid his stare, “Dude, shut up.”

Alex crossed his arms, watching me, a slow smile burning across his face.  His voice turned soft, “I’m kind of serious, Shane.  I never felt what you look like when you look at her.”

I covered my face with my hands and raked them across the sides of my neck, looking at him.  “There is nothing in this world I have ever wanted more than to bury myself inside that girl.  I…I have no fucking common sense when she’s near me, all I can think of is
her
.”  I rubbed my face again with my hands, “It’s like I’ve turned back to being a junkie, trying to score my next fix
of her
.  It’s sick, Alex.  And all she thinks is that I’m this fucking asshole who will sleep with anyone and she’s just the next notch on my belt.  Ever since I saw her in the audience that night, the first time I laid eyes on her; there was no one else worth thinking about. ”

“So, I don’t get it, then why did you just leave the bar?”

“Because maybe someone like Ryan is better for her than a piece of shit like me,” I mumbled.

His smile slipped and his eyes rolled.  “Okay, Shane. 
What the fuck did you eat for lunch, a narcissist burger with a side of self-esteem issue fries and a whiny ass frilly beer?  You sound like a freaking girl.”

My eyes almost bugged out of my damn head I laughed so hard.

“Dude, the next thing you’ll be asking me is how fat your ass looks in a dress and if the highlights in your hair make your eyes sparkle.  Don’t let Grace slip through your fingers because you’re a chicken shit cry-baby, that’s not the Shane Maxton I know.  And if you start wearing glitter and lip gloss, you’re out of the band.”  Then he slapped me in the head and walked back into the bar.   Dumbass. 
But a dumbass with a good point
.

I stalked into the bar after Alex.  He was right, or course.  I was being a whiny girl.  Grace was mine, and all I had to do was tell her. 

Lea, Conner and Tucker sat around a table covered with milkshakes and half-eaten burgers, talking.  I collapsed heavily into a chair, while Alex ran after some girl, pinching her ass all the way to the bar.  I looked at Lea, “Where’s Grace?”

“She left.  I think she went to go look for some idiot who I
thought
was as sweet as an
angel
, but is just a stupid DOUCHE,” Lea snapped.  She finger-tapped her annoyance on the table and waited for my reply.  When I didn’t give her one, she propped her head up with her hands and leaned across the table with a tight smile.   “My mistake, I completely read the dude wrong.  I
thought
he really cared about her. Turns out he has this secret identity that he doesn’t want anyone to know about called Super Douche.”

Conner whistled and gently placed his hand across Lea’s scowl to stop her from further lashing out at me.  “Babe, you can’t change Shane.  I don’t know why you get so hell bent on changing the world one couple at a time.  You live in some romance novel. Just leave them alone, they’ll figure it all out.”

Lea’s nostrils flared.  It scared the shit out of me, so I can’t even pretend to know how scared Conner might have been.  She turned her stony brown gaze at Conner and bared her teeth. 
Holy Mother of All Evil Girlfriends! 
“I’m going to choose to ignore your asinine statement, because I happen to like it when you put your
BEEP
on my
BEEP
, twirl it around and then you add your
BEEP
to my other
BEEP
and give me the best damn
BEEPS
of my life.”  Taking a huge breath, she continued jabbing a finger at his shoulder, “AND, I’m not trying to change the world, Conner! Oh, and for your information, this crappy world will NOT change the least bit until…” This would be the part when she directed her narrowed eyes at me and rolled up her sleeves.  “Until people tell THE TRUTH!”

“The truth,” Conner, Tucker and I whispered, all nodding our heads in rapt attention, waiting for her hysterical words of wisdom.  Not one of us wanted to be the first guy to laugh and lose a nut.

“Yes, the truth…” Lea calmly sat back in her seat and fixed her shirt and pants.  “Let’s just say this world won’t change until there’s a truthful… ah…advertisement…about tampons…um…where the women are all curled up on their beds, angrily drinking wine and eating graham crackers smothered in marshmallows and chocolate, while crossing out all the pictures of the cheerleader’s faces they hated in their high school yearbook.”

Tucker was the first to laugh, “He twirls what around your beep?”  He was also the first to get whacked
upside the head by her, which made the rest of us crack up. 

“Hey, Tucker?” Lea asked starting to laugh herself.  “You know what a satisfied woman sounds like?”

“No…what?” Tucker asked.

“Yeah, I didn’t think you did,” she answered laughing harder.

Tucker laughed and wiggled his eyebrows, “Oh, Lea.  We all know you find me extremely attractive and want me to beep you in the beep.”

“Tucker, have you ever heard of eye candy?” Lea asked sweetly.

“Hell yeah,” Tucker winked at her.

“Well, you’re more like eye broccoli to me.”  Lea laughed.  She swung her arm around Conner and nodded to me, “Come on, let’s get out of here and wait for Grace at home.  She really did go looking for you, Shane.”

My thoughts scattered and all I could think of was seeing her face again.  I jumped out of my seat, spilling one of the beers on the table and laughed.  “As long as I don’t have to witness any of his beeping your beep while we wait.”

When we got back to Lea’s apartment, Grace was standing in the kitchen with the refrigerator wide open, empty water bottles littering the floor and a dozen eggs smashed at her feet.  She looked pale green and sick; she couldn’t even focus her eyes on us.

“Grace, are you okay?” Lea asked concerned.

Her dilated eyes squinted desperately towards me, “I’m really thirsty,” she mumbled.  Her knees looked about to buckle under her and I rushed over to her and placed the back of my hand against her forehead. She fell limply into my arms; her skin was on fire.  “Grace, you’re burning up.”  I looked at Lea, “Get some aspirin and juice.” 

I lifted her gently into my arms, and I swear it was like touching fire. Carrying her through the hallway, she tried to wrap her arms around my neck, but she seemed too weak to lift them.  As I opened the door to her room, I gasped and my entire body stiffened with annoyed anger.  Even though the walls of her room had been re-sheet rocked and painted since the fire, she had no furniture, except a large mattress lying across her bare floor.  Her laptop and guitar were leaning against the far wall.

“God, Grace, you don’t have a bed?”  I asked, lowering her softly onto the mattress and brushed a stray hair from off my face.

Lea was next to me handing me a small glass of juice and a handful of aspirin. 

“Grace, baby.  Please open your eyes and take these aspirin.”  I whispered.

She looked up at me th
rough narrow lids and tried to smile.  “
God, he is so beautiful, he looks like an angel
,” she murmured.  Then she swallowed the pills and closed her eyes.  A cold sweat broke out all over my body and a sharp painful chill surged through my spine.  I looked at Lea for help, but she just offered me a tight smile and walked towards the door.

“Lea, wait.  We can’t leave her in these clothes, she’s soaking wet from sweating.  Find something that she can wear to bed.  I’ll leave, so you can change her,” I whispered.

I stood in the hallway while Lea changed her and when she told me to come back in, I was shocked by what Lea dressed her in.  A small sexy tank top and a pair of lacy boy shorts was all she wore.  Leave it to Lea.  I knelt next to her, pulled the covers up to her chin and kissed her scorching forehead.  “Get, some sleep, babe,” I whispered. 
I’m sleeping on the couch until she feels better, and if that fever doesn’t break tonight, I’m taking her to the hospital
.

She opened her eyes halfway and lifted a hand to my face.  I leaned into her palm, worshipping the softness of her skin.  “Don’t go, Shane.  Stay with me.”

Forever Grace
.

I smiled down at her, “Okay.”  Getting up quickly, I pulled off my shirt and jeans, and threw them into her hamper. With only my boxers on, I slid under the covers next to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her tight against me.  “Are you okay, does anything hurt?” I asked, nuzzling my face into her neck.

Her words were slurred and slow but I had no problem figuring out what she said, “
Just stay with me, Shane.  The devil says he loves me, and he’s coming to get me
. 
Crap, I hope I didn’t say that out loud.”

“Shut up and go to sleep, Grace,” I whispered softly before I placed my lips on the
nape of her warm neck, just below her ear, and kissed her.

She slept restlessly for a few hours, and at some point in the early hours of the morning, she woke up screaming and sweating.  “Shh,” I murmured, brushing my hands over her cheek.  “You’re safe, Grace; I won’t let anyone ever hurt you again.”  My lips pressed a soft kiss over hers.

She slept straight through the next day without moving, just a few whimpers here and there.  I only left her room to run to the bathroom or grab a sandwich from Lea. The rest of the time, I spent holding Grace or using her computer to buy her some bedroom furniture.  I constantly kept her iTunes on, letting her playlists fill her room with soft calming background music. 

On the second day of us tangled in her sheets together, with her legs wrapped tightly around my thighs, her eyes fluttered open, lips smiling.  As a soft glow filtered through her curtains, I sang along to the song
Hallelujah
by
Rufus Wainwright
with warm whispers into her ear.  My hand drew small circles along the exposed skin of her lower back, traveling over the lacy material of her shorts until my aching fingertips met with the bare skin of the back of her legs.

As I touched her, she took her bottom lip between her teeth, bit down tightly and moaned softly in contentment.

I shifted my body, and as my fingers danced delicately down her legs to the back of her knees, I pressed my thighs harder between her legs, feeling her warmth seep through my skin.  Her body trembled and her breath caught.

I hovered my face over hers and our eyes locked in the soft low light from the window that teasingly fell over our bodies.  I searched those eyes for answers, for emotions and an exquisite crimson blush slowly spread across her cheeks, and quickly reached over the flesh of her neck and across her chest.

Slowly, as our eyes were fixed on each other’s, our bodies began rocking against each other.  Her eyes fluttered closed and she groaned, pressing herself harder against me, her soft hands skid trails of fire across my bare chest.  My body throbbed; ached with anticipation of being inside her, any part of me; my tongue, my fingers,
all of me
. 

“God, Grace,” I murmured into her open lips, hovering over them breathing her in, “I never needed someone the way I need you.”  Then our lips touched softly
, gently savoring, nipping and kissing each other with a growing hunger. I could feel her pounding heart slamming itself up against her chest, her breasts heaving with panting breath against my skin.  She wound me up so tight, twisted my insides into hard granite, I swear if she just grazed me with her hand, I would have fucking exploded from my pure unadulterated need for her.

My needful fingers slid up the back of her thighs again, reaching the lacy trim of her panties.  I pressed my thigh harder against her hot core and cupped the curves of her bottom spreading her legs open.  I slowly skated my fingers along the lace trim, slipping every once in a while beneath them into her wet heat.

“Baby, I need to taste you,” I growled with jagged breaths.  I trailed my tongue along her jaw, nipping and sucking at her skin, down her neck and licked hungrily at the top curve of her perfect breasts.  My tongue burned to plunge itself deep inside the heat that was scorching and drenching my fingers.

She yanked down the material of her top so I could taste more of those perfect tits, her nipples hard and sweet like fucking candy.  She whimpered and rocked harder against my hand. “Yes, please.  Shane, please…” she begged softly.

Then?  Then could you guess what happened? 

Fucking Lea. 

I told you her mouth was lethal.  Because when her voice broke through the stunning erotic sounds of Grace begging me to taste her, I almost dropped dead.  My fucking balls were so blue that if I looked in the mirror a damn Smurf would be looking back at me.

“Hey!” Lea banged on Grace’s bedroom door.  Grace’s body trembled as I groaned from putting a few inches of distance between us. “Pizza’s here,” she said as she burst into the room. “Let’s go, Grace, you need to eat something,” she sang idiotically.

There is something so wrong with that girl.  HOW could she NOT smell the ALMOST SEX in here?  I was so lightheaded that I swear black and blue dots danced in front of my eyes.