Scars (11 page)

She shuddered at the thought. Her mind was working a mile a minute all the way back to the motel. She briefly contemplated the thought of admitting her troubles to Matt, but she quickly discarded it. She knew what he would do if he found out; he would cover all expenses from then on. Holly didn’t want that. The last thing she wanted was for Matt to have any reason to suspect she might be using him. Besides, she was done depending on people. Her stomach churned as she realized she might soon be back to depending on her parents if she couldn’t find a solution fast.

“I’m going to take a shower,” she announced when they were back in their motel room.

Matt looked at her curiously. “Didn’t you take one earlier this morning?”

“There’s something on my mind,” Holly said. After all, she could admit to
that
much. “The hot spray helps me think.”

“Anything I can help with?” Matt asked.

Holly forced out a smile. “Nah. Sometimes the whole mess with my family catches up to me, that’s all.”

Matt nodded. “I understand.”

Holly felt a pang of guilt from lying to him. She gave him one more smile and a quick kiss, and she disappeared into the privacy of the bathroom.

Holly took her time under the shower. She wished the hot water could wash away all the doubts and the fear that had taken such a strong hold of her. She had no idea where to go from here. The looming shadow of the prospect of circumstances forcing her to go back to her family house and—God forbid—marry a guy her father had chosen for her was too horrific to even consider. And yet, she knew she might not have much choice. She had thought she would have some more time before she had to figure out what to do, but her father had seen to it that her time was cut as short as possible.

Holly clenched her jaw at the renewed wave of anger that washed over her. How dare he? Why must he decide about her life in such a stubborn, arrogant way? She turned off the water and climbed out of the bathtub, already reaching for the towel to dry herself. She froze halfway through an energetic friction movement to dry her long blond hair. A sound she had never heard before was reaching her ears, and it took her a few moments to realize that it was really happening.

On the other side of the door, in the room, Matt was singing. Holly had never heard him sing in all of the weeks they had spent together. She was surprised to hear that it was a very pleasant sound. Matt had a clear and husky singing voice, and it was already doing all sorts of things to Holly’s body. She could feel her desire stir within her pelvis.

She walked closer to the door, careful not to make any sound. She knew Matt would stop singing immediately if he realized she was listening in, and she really didn’t want him to stop anytime soon.

“You came to me, and I started to feel that my senses had left me to die.”

Holly blinked when she recognized the song. Andru Donalds?
Really
? She had to stifle a giggle behind her hand. Never in a million years would she have pictured Matt for a fan of pop-rock and soul.

“Where is my strength when I need it the most? Tell me, what have you done with my mind?”

Unable to wipe the smirk off her face, Holly settled in to listen to the whole performance. She could only imagine Matt’s face if he were to realize that he had an audience. The image was so comical that she almost burst out laughing, and she had to bite down on her lip in order to force herself not to make a sound.

“Save me now from the depth of my infatuation. I could drown in the sea of love and isolation. I’ll take you down if you just save me now. All the time that I gave away, I’ll give to you. And all the love that I never made, I’ll make to you…”

The more the song progressed, the more Holly wondered if it was a casual choice. How much of it reflected what Matt felt, really?

“Nothing could be more electric to me than to give you a taste of the love that I hide. But in my condition I’m totally lost…tell me, what have you done with my pride?”

There was a raw, painful note to Matt’s singing, like to everything else about Matt. Holly wondered if that was how she really made him feel, like he didn’t have much control over himself and his intentions when it came to her. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? They had said the “L” word before, but only once. Theirs was a tentative kind of love, born between two lost, lonely strangers. How much of it was true love? How much of it was only loneliness?

Holly shook her head. She didn’t want to think about that. In fact, she didn’t want to think at all. She finished drying off and wrapped the towel securely about herself before finally walking out of the bathroom. Matt lay sprawled on the king-sized bed, flipping distractedly through an old issue of National Geographic some previous guests had left behind. He looked up. His green eyes immediately twinkled maliciously as he ran his appreciative gaze up and down Holly’s figure.

Holly felt herself blush. Almost two months in, and she had yet to get used to the way Matt looked at her whenever his desire was aroused.

“You look good in a towel,” he said with a teasing grin and a predatory glint in his emerald-green eyes.

Holly briefly looked away, embarrassed.

“I mean it,” he said again. “Why don’t you come sit next to me?” He patted the empty mattress next to him.

Holly thought about refusing. She thought about getting dressed and taking the longest nap of her life, but it was truly impossible to resist him. Matt was wearing no shirt, and the well-defined muscles of his naked back were enough of a siren’s call to entice even the strongest of sailors—and Holly was anything but strong when it came to Matt’s advances.

As Oscar Wilde once wrote, I can resist anything but temptation,
she thought resignedly. The fire was already stirring within her, and she knew there was no way she could walk away from him right now.

Holly walked over to the bed and knelt on the mattress. Matt met her in the same exact position. He reached out and gently undid the half-knot that kept the towel wrapped around her body. He took a moment to openly admire her nakedness.

“God, you have no idea how beautiful you are,” he breathed.

Holly felt a surge of emotions wash over her. She smiled shyly. “I guess I don’t,” she admitted quietly.

Matt reached out. He framed her delicate features with his hands and pulled her in for a kiss. Despite his evident desire, it was a slow, soft kiss. That was one of the things Holly liked best about Matt—his willingness to show tenderness even when his whole body was on fire with lust. They kissed for a long time. It was Holly’s favorite kind of foreplay, and Matt knew it.

It wasn’t long before they both felt the urge for more. Holly’s tongue pushed past the soft barrier of Matt’s full, very kissable lips, demanding more access and, most important, more fire.

Matt didn’t need any further encouragement. He placed his palms on her naked thighs and tugged. Next thing Holly knew, she was lying on her back and Matt was on top of her. He descended on her for a ravaging kiss before he pulled away only long enough to get rid of his jeans and boxers. A moment later, he was back on top of her, holding himself up with his arms, his hands by each side of Holly’s head.

Holly responded automatically, arching her hips so that they went to grind against Matt’s. Already she was looking forward to that magic friction that would eventually lead to a mind-blowing orgasm, but more than that, she was looking for contact. She was looking for touch. The intoxicating warmth of Matt’s skin against her own. There was nothing that could drive Holly wilder than the feeling of Matt’s firm body against hers. She longed for the moments where their bodies were pressed tightly together, so tight that not even a breath of air would have been able to push through. To Holly, those moments felt like the two of them were trying to melt into each other. They would clutch at each other desperately, almost as though letting go would mean letting go of all that they were. As though by letting go, they would lose themselves and each other forever.

Holly wrapped her arms around Matt’s shoulders and dug her fingertips into the strong muscles of his back as his lips began to trace a scalding path down her body. He sucked a love-bite into the side of her throat, and Holly gasped in pleasure. She tilted her head back to grant him better access. One of Matt’s hands found her breast, while the other remained on her hipbone, clutching at her as if he were afraid to ever let her go. He began stroking her nipple with his thumb, a gentle pressure that soon had the desired turgid effect. Holly could feel Matt’s powerful erection pressing against her pelvis from where their hips touched, and the insistent sensation of his cock against her inner thighs was making her impatient.

Matt’s mouth continued its exploration of her body. He traced a hot path from her throat down to her belly. Holly shivered underneath his scorching touch. By now, after two months spent together, Matt knew exactly what she wanted. He took his time to kiss every inch of her most sensitive area, making sure that he was lighting a fire that would be impossible to tame but with the wild waters of sex.

When Holly was wet enough—admittedly, that did not take long—he slipped two fingers inside of her. She gasped, her whole body tensing with pleasure. She pressed her head back into the pillow and bit down hard on her lip to keep herself from screaming out her ecstasy. Matt’s fingers inside of her were able to dance a kind of dexterous dance that Holly had never even suspected could exist before meeting him.

For a soldier and a generally hardened man, Matt’s fingers were surprisingly and exquisitely nimble. They scissored and swirled within her, finding wonderfully sensitive spots that Holly herself had been the only one able to find before her path crossed with his. The man was almost inhumanly skilled. Granted, Holly did not have that much sexual experience as to be able to come with valid comparisons, but still she thought he was one of a kind and, possibly, one in a million.

And still, for all that, she was so lost into the pleasure he was giving her that she no longer knew where was down and where was up, Holly did not orgasm. Matt didn’t seem to think anything of it, and when he could feel she was good and ready, he slipped out his fingers. He cupped her face with his dry hand and kissed her passionately.

“I want to be inside you now,” he whispered against her mouth.

Holly shivered in anticipation. “I want you to be inside me too,” she murmured right back.

Matt flashed her a satisfied smile. He reached for the nightstand’s drawer and took out a condom, which he then slipped on with practiced ease. All the while, his emerald green eyes never left Holly’s gaze, locking her in place. Holly could feel her heart beating at a mile a minute within her chest. The dark light in Matt’s green irises was a promise that she couldn’t wait for him to keep.

She spread her legs further apart to grant him more access, and he settled in between them.

“I’ll be gentle,” he said.

He always said that, and he always was. Holly had discovered that she was a little tender and slightly oversensitive to penetration, so Matt was always extra careful to slide in as gently as he could. Holly appreciated his consideration to no end, although she constantly amazed at his self-control; there were times when she would have wanted nothing more than for him to take her with that electric eagerness of his from the beginning, no matter how much it would hurt at first. Then again, she was probably still able to enjoy that instinct because of Matt’s gentle ministrations.

Once again, he entered her as gingerly as he had promised. Holly gritted her teeth past the familiar discomfort, and soon enough that mild pain turned itself into mind-numbing pleasure. Her hips began to follow the rhythm set by Matt’s own pelvis, meeting him halfway through the movement. Soon Matt’s wild passion came into play, and Holly was more than happy to go along for the ride.

As it turned out, it was an especially intense one. Matt’s desire was a strong, palpable, overwhelming thing that washed over the both of them in untamed, formidable waves. He wanted her. He wanted her
now
, and he couldn’t get enough of her. Holly wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders and fully gave herself to him.

It wasn’t long before Matt’s passion began to threaten to get the best of it. As it always happened, his body tensed up as he tried to hold back.

“Don’t,” Holly said, feeling his titanic effort. “Don’t hold back this time. Just let go, baby.”

Matt hesitated.

“Let go,” Holly whispered in his ear, nibbling playfully at his earlobe. She knew that would push him over the edge.

Sure enough, a few moments later, Matt finally complied and gave in to his climax. Holly arched up against him, overwhelmed by her own pleasure. Once she got her bearings back, she held Matt through the aftershocks, until he finally lay spent on top of her.

They were both still for some time, Holly stroking Matt’s disheveled mass of black curls and laying with his face half hidden against Holly’s neck.

Eventually, he stirred. He pulled himself up and out of her, and he leaned down to kiss her deeply before he got up to toss the used condom. A moment later, he was settling back next to her on the sweat-dampened sheets.

He turned his head to look at her. “You didn’t come,” he said. “Did I do something wrong?”

Holly grimaced inwardly. Apparently, he had not noticed her performance. “I came when you did,” she lied. “I guess you were too busy to notice.”