Scarleton Series I : Before the Cult (18 page)

Macxermillio
reluctantly replied , “There is an odd feeling I won’t deny that.”
His tone embroiled with doubt.

“We should be
very attentive of what she says or said, not only that but
observant as well. I was wrong about her being a sample. There is
something about the way she speaks and this new revelation she just
had. It is no coincidence,” Macfearson said.

“What other
reasons do you have to believe this?”

Macfeasron
closed his eyes trying as much as possible to gather and formulate
his syrup of perceptions in a way that Macxermillio could taste in
full and appreciate his view. The web of thoughts had collapsed
though, it was hard to revive it in a way that did not only make
sense to him but could be conveyed.

What is it
am I saying that is not right? How can I put this in motion and
make him understand? It is very crucial he does. Damn it! I always
seem to be bad at explaining things. He is the genius he should get
it,
he thought.

There used to
be time when they understood each other as if they shared the same
mental field, now he wouldn’t tell you what happened or why when it
is needed the most it did not come back.

“Macx, it is
not something I can’t fully explain to you. You just have to
experience it. Look, the vision was a preparation for what is
coming. Now Kim is the second instalment of that message. Do you
feel the calling pressing down at your hand right now?”

“No.”

“Obviously we
are doing something right. We are getting closer to the crop. Kim
is not a
lifeling
at this point… nor is she a
deathling
. She is now a servant. The calling can’t talk to
us directly to address our questions but at least we have
something. I feel it so strongly and perhaps in time you will,”
Macfearson said. Then without his authority, his tongue added, “Our
salvation depends on it.”

They came out
with such conviction that a glaze appeared in Macxermillio’s eyes,
perhaps finally getting it.

“How much money
do you have with you?” Macfearson asked.

Macxermillio
looked at him as if Macfearson was an impolite stranger. In way a
lot had changed and the man in front of him had surpassed him,
maybe not in knowledge or mastery but insanity. For a while he did
not say anything, his mouth gaping.

“I don’t
imagine we have much time with her,” Macfearson indicated with a
nod.

Macxermillio
firmly shook his head. “I have a hundred bucks at least.” Still
maintaining a reluctant gaze.

“Good, good,”
Macfearson’s tone enthusiastic and nervous at the same. He ruffled
his hair in vain. “We should tell him to extend our time then.
Maybe another thirty minutes?” his voice was bearing an elevated
desperate edge.

Macxermillio
shook his head. “No.”

“What?”
Macfearson frowned.

“No, I don’t
wanna be part of this one. I don’t know what the heck you think you
see but I don’t see it. I’m not with you on this?”

“What?”
Disbelief and shock the subject of Macfearson’s frown.

“Have you and
Sandy been popping pills or some shit?”

“What?”

“Where is your
vocabulary,
deathling
?” Macxermillio shouted. With the music
around it wasn’t as frightening as it could have been, but since
Macxermillio was not the kind that shouts it made an impression.
Surprise and shock provoking.

“What the
fuck?” Macfearson muttered. “What the fuck?”

“Look at me,
dopey!” Macxermillio demanded.

Macfearson did,
seeing his face might help him swallow the pill.

“You threatened
me with a weapon today all because you were
feeling
something about her. All you have been talking about are just
hunches and theories and nothing more. Why the hell put all our
money on it? Sounds all the same to me. There is still no reason to
trust the calling whatsoever. It is Satan tempting Jesus in the
wilderness situation. It is enticing us. This is what it wants to
go off course. If it has possessed Kim a little well that is fine,
but we not gonna be led astray. You fucktart!”

“But this is
it
!” Macfearson protested. “It is different. The vision had
a different vibe Sandy saw it too.”

“Why the hell
should we mess up an opportunity on something so vague?”
Macxermillio spluttered, not in the manner he usually spoke -
fierce and confrontational.

Macfearson
inhaled and as he exhaled his words were swallowed at infancy as
soon as his mind nimbly warned him how terrible a response it would
be. How ridiculous would he sound. That is the last thing you want
to do when you want to convince someone, but this was not just
someone. It was Macxermillio.

A first fight
with a friend is always the most harrowing when you have spent
years with them without ever having one. Your guard is literally
down. You have not paid much attention to their strengths and
weaknesses so that come a time for a quarrel you will have devised
enough strategies to carry you through. Why do so anyway? After all
you are not going fight. It is blasphemy to even consider the
possibility of it, in fact you cannot imagine it because there is
never going to be a serious fight. Yes, there may be arguments and
disagreements but those are never really like a fight. In arguments
people do not make personal attacks and speak at such dark and
fierce tones. At least not Macfearson’s friend Macxermillio. This
was double impact, an argument and a fight at once. That is how it
felt for Macfearson, Macxermillio was continuing to reject him and
belittle him. The words which darted out of Macxermillio’s mouth
and in the manner in which they did made a pretty conclusive case
for him.

Macfearson, not
the one good with words, had risen to his feet.

“Don’t fucking
give me that!” He exploded, all the act unsurprising for
Macxermillo, he might as well lean back and watch. “You never
questioned Sandy with his therapy idea. You gave him a go. Never
held him back and put him through such scrutiny.”

“Well it is
still being tested. Wait your fuckin’ turn. Jeez, you such a
hothead! Stupid,” Macxermillio said, sensing the envy.

“Mine can only
work now. It is a brief opening.”

“What do you
want me to do, exactly? Give this whore more and more money until
what happens exactly?”

Macfearson
gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. “I will know it when I
see it.”

“You are asking
me to have faith?”

“Yeah… faith in
me
at least. You never have for a while.” He spat.

Macxermillio
stayed quiet for a moment.“You know what to look for?”

“Yes.”

“Intuitively?”

“Yes.”

“Can I ask you
something else too?”

“Yes.”

“Why did it
only show itself to the two of you?” Macxermillio asked.

Macfearson
suddenly understood what it was all about. The man had spent most
of his life working at this and doing most of the hard work and the
very thing he searches for did not reveal itself to him. The one
whose efforts had been immeasurable.

“I’m sorry,
Macx.”

Macxermillio
paradoxically smiled, a tear hanging in his left eye. “It knows I
wouldn’t have fallen for it or it plans to make me suffer.”

“You are too
modest for someone who is paying to talk to someone. Too paced.
It’s almost suspicious,” said Kim.

“You would
be.”

“If I knew what
you were going through maybe.” She said as she picked her phone
from her purse.

“Are you
disappointed, Kim?”

“Why?”

“That I’m not
interested?”

“I will not
answer that,” she wagged her finger.

“Give in to the
mystery of this situation, my dear.”

She looked up
and rolled her eyes as exquisitely as ever. The way she did was
artistic, possessing of both cheerfulness and innocence. Her grin a
snowflake you wish could be frozen in time and kept. Its vigour and
liveliness polarizing. It was no mystery why men would want to
thrust that but it is a mystery why she carries on when she could
stop. At least I assumed she has the privilege to.

“Dear or
deer?”

I chuckled.
“Whatever you choose to be.”

“Deer.” She
nodded.

“You want to be
hunted.”

“No deer has
such a wish I believe.”

“You wanted to
be my deer. Now I decide what we do. You are mine, I own you now.”
I playfully leered at her.

I could hear
her feet shuffle underneath the table on the wooden floor. She put
her hands out of my view under the table. It pleased me to imagine
she was reaching for her pussy to pleasure herself.

“Alright,” she
nodded.

“Now that you
are mine can you tell me why you carry on doing what you are doing.
Your business,” I asked.

She just stared
at me. For the first time she looked dull. “We don’t have much time
anyway. I might as well tell you, assuming this is what you are
really interested in. You paid me … and you were very kind.”

“Thank
you.”

“Why did you
approach me with such a request though? I mean why did you choose
me for this kinda thing?”

“If you think
because you looked like a whore or someone who might need the cash
it is nothing like that. I chose you because you have this feeling
about you. A very pleasant presence and you looked kind enough not
to just dismiss me.”

“Okay. Let me
tell you this. I’m not addicted to smoking or anything. I get a
head rush now and then. I don’t know what it’s like to crave
ciggies. But I smoke anyway. I don’t want to stop smoking neither
do I want to carry on. It is just something I do without a real
good reason why I’m doing it. I’m just doing it because it’s what I
do. Sometimes I don’t do it and it is fine. Mostly I do it and that
is fine also. Ever had a thing of that nature? Something you’re not
exactly sure why you’re doing it, why did you start, why you’re
carrying on or why you would not stop? And I’m not saying this for
some poetic effect or fucking dramatization. I mean something that
has this specific nature,” she enthused.

I nodded my
response, suspicious that my words may ruin the direction of
things. Also because I never had such an experience and I would not
risk the chance of her smelling that.

She continued
in her rapt demeanour, “It is the same with what I’m doing. It’s
so. There’s no profound reason. Not that it’s required anyway. It’s
just a goddamn thing. It’s just an
it
for me. I’m not saying
no reason is satisfactory. What I’m saying might be that it is a
mystery or I have never bothered thinking about it. I shouldn’t
think hard. Remember what I said? Give in to the mystery.”

“I guess this
one is for both of us.”

Truly I did not
know what she meant exactly, I could not comprehend it. Some things
did not make sense to me or perhaps I was not paying attention. I
did pay attention as far as I was concerned. As a philosophy
student, not that this is a major integral part of my life, I knew
the power of analogies. How easily analogies can highlight the
subtleties and open your eyes to some truths. It is like someone is
literally pushing up your eyelid and enhancing your vision so that
you see everything clearly. I needed to see what she meant, on that
mental level – to let our minds kiss.

She laughed.
“Well, perhaps. So aren’t you gonna spill the beans for me?”

“Honestly, it
is entirely up to her,” Macxermillio said with his smug and suave
tone. Not far from his default one.

“What do you
mean?” Macfearson asked a frown upon his face.

“If she wants
to stay she will stay. If she wants to go she will go. Our money
can’t make her do anything really,” Macxermillio replied rubbing
his chin with his thumb and forth finger. That could mean he had
already made a judgement from an observation he had made, most
probably from…

“Does not mean
we should not try it. We will see what she will do or decide. We
should at least present an opportunity for her. Who are we to say
what she is going to do next?” Macfearson contested.

Macxermillio
tightened his lips. He looked sulkily reluctant because truly he
had lost. “We can. She seems to have her mind made up though. The
offer we made her is a bargain.”

“Maybe we
should offer to fuck her then.”

“Offer?”

“She is more
keen for that than all of the chatting. She detests the chatting,
she does not really enjoy it. But sex is something she would do
anytime and anyway. She has been pushing for this point from what I
gather. That says something indeed. Doesn’t it?” Macfearson
challenged.

Macxermillio’s
eyes glistened at the thought. “You would do that? Buy sex?”

“If you think
about it it’s not really buying sex if she wants to get it on. I am
merely donating or leaving a thank you note in a form of cash.”

Macxermillio
shook his head. “Maybe you should find out first before you hand
her the cash?”

“Are you
implying something?”

“Maybe she
hungers for cash than your cock. Have you considered the
possibility?”

Macfearson’s
scowl was teemed with sarcasm mixed with frustration. “ Have you
been listening to her?”

Macxermillio
withheld his reply and simply gave him a questioning glance, the
kind that made one question their confidence. As the purpose of his
gesture was met he glanced outside and grinned at a private thought
he had with glowing confidence.

“What?”
Macfearson asked, unnerved.

Macxermillio
kept his silence and manipulative indifference.

“Are you saying
she won’t fuck me?” Macfearson said. “She would fuck anyone for no
fucking reason and I would bang that pussy if it got me the chance
at the crop.”