Saving Lawson (Loving Lawson Book 2) (13 page)

              His body tensed at his brother’s name. “This is
nothing
like Ryker. I am
nothing
like him.”

              “Is whatever happening his fault? Do you owe more money? Are you selling drugs for the people he worked for?”

              “Sort of to the first question and no to the others.”

             
Sort of?! What does that even mean?!

              I shook. I was so freaking rattled, my knees buckled. I collapsed on the edge of the bed and stared at a random spot on the carpet.

              “You said something to me once,” I whispered. “The day you killed Ricardo… you were in the shower with me and you said you realized you’re capable of doing things now. Is… Is what you’re doing as bad as… killing a man?” It was so hard pushing the words out of my mouth. I was terrified of the answer let alone asking it.

              “I haven’t killed anybody else if that’s what you’re trying to get at,” he said quietly. “Not personally anyway.”

              “Not personally,” I repeated, trying to understand what the hell that meant.

              He sat down next to me, keeping a bit of distance between us. We were quiet for a short while, and I was spending that while trying to absorb everything he’d said.

              “One day you’ll understand,” he finally said. “And you’ll look back at all of this, and it’ll make a lot more sense to you.”

              One day.

              That day felt like a long time away.

              I tried to rationalize it as best as I could.

              “And you know,” he added, leaning a little closer to my side, “that I would never look at another woman. You’re it for me.”

              I sighed. “I didn’t mean all that. I know you wouldn’t be with another girl. But I was angry.”

              “I know, Allie, and I completely get that.”

              His arm wrapped around me then and he held me close to him, not saying a word. He kissed my shoulder and neck, always these places like he loved them the most. There was nothing sexual about it. It was purely affection, and I couldn’t help sinking into his frame. His forehead rested against the side of my head, and he closed his eyes for a while, breathing me in.

              “I don’t want to be sappy,” he whispered, his voice straining like he was fighting back emotion. “But I can’t express to you how much you are a part of me, Allison. I
can’t
be without you.”

              I swallowed hard and nodded a little. I couldn’t speak. I just stared at his reflection in the dresser mirror, watching how much he was fighting from within. He opened his mouth to say more, but he stopped himself, and it looked like it was hard for him to do that. I wondered if the truth of what he was keeping from me was at the tip of his tongue.

              It was then I realized he truly did want to tell me. He just couldn’t. And not for selfish reasons, but because of the consequences. I was grasping from within to understand him. To be patient with him and wait when the time was right for him to open up. By being angry and withdrawn, I was pushing him away and he was scared of that. That’s why he was telling me this.

              “I love you too,” I replied. “And… I trust you.”

              The only way this was going to work was by trusting him.

              He let out a heavy exhale, like my words had offered him solace. Saying them out loud felt good. He had never caused me to doubt his loyalty before this, and I had to admit this to myself to look past the hurt. I needed to focus on his good. By being positive, I hoped it would be enough to squander that itch in the back of my mind that was pleading for the truth.

              Tell me, Heath. Please, for the love of God, just tell me.

Allie

Heath returned at around midnight. Kayden was asleep in bed with me when I heard him walk through the door. It was our final night at the apartment, so his footsteps sounded extra loud in the empty space.

              He walked into the dark bedroom, his stare directed straight at the window.

              “Hey,” I said tiredly.

              He put his finger to his mouth, signalling for me to stay quiet as he strode to the window and peered out through the blinds. Worried that something was wrong, I sat up. The mattress shifted as I did so, and Kayden stirred and let out a frustrated cry.

              “Keep him quiet,” Heath demanded in a hushed voice.

              I picked Kayden up and rocked him in my arms, watching Heath continue to stare out into the streets. He stood like that for minutes on end, turning his head back and forth as he looked up and down the road. He was extra cautious when a vehicle passed by.

              “What’s happened?” I asked. I didn’t have it in me to stay quiet another moment longer. Kayden had drifted back to sleep but I kept him held to me in case I moved around again.

              “Thought I saw people follow me,” he answered thoughtfully. “Saw a couple guys at the fight tonight, staring at me like I was some kind of target. They lingered around when I beat the guy and then jumped into their truck when I went into mine. They trailed me for a few streets and then I looped around and took back roads until I lost them. But… I mean, anyone can know where I live, right? This place is infested with nosey bastards.”

              I didn’t reply. Jesus Christ, what was happening? I couldn’t take it anymore.

              As if sensing my fear, he turned his face to me and solemnly said, “If they’re kicking around, you’re going straight to your Mom’s. There shouldn’t be anyone, though. I’ve been good. There’s no way someone’s been on my case. It’s not possible.”

              I swallowed hard and leaned back against the headboard. My body shook at all the horrible possibilities. The fact he was followed scared the shit out of me. I looked down at Kayden in the dark and shook my head at him. What a fucking failure of a Mom I am, already putting him in this kind of danger. Had I dodged the Lawson brothers, I might have dodged all this bullshit too.

              Kayden’s eyes opened and he let out a big yawn, and I blinked back tears at the thought of anyone hurting him.

              “Maybe I should go,” I said, more to myself than him. “You say you’re trying to protect us, but it sounds like you’ve messed up somewhere along the way.”

              He looked at me, his face breaking apart at the idea of me going. “Allie, that’s not possible. I haven’t messed up. I’ve been meticulous. There’s nothing to be scared about anyway. I’ve called Marko up and he’s on his way.”

              “He got a phone?”

              “Yeah, I made him get one.”

              “How long ago did you call him?” I asked.

              “About ten minutes ago,” he answered. “I scoped the building out before that. Fuckin’ Trudy’s passed out front again, but I left her alone. Besides that, there’s no suspicious activity.”

              For a long while after that, we remained quiet. I fought to keep my eyes open as the fear of something happening drained away. But Heath still continued to look out, even when his back bent from exhaustion. He kept his gaze pinned to the streets like a hawk.

              My eyes grew heavier, and Kayden finally stopped fussing in my arms. I continued holding him to me, drifting… drifting…

              I needed sleep. I needed to escape reality. I needed to pretend we were still perfect.

              Drifting… drifting…

              A creak sounded out.

              My eyes flipped open and I jerked awake. Heath wasn’t at the window anymore. I blinked hard and looked around the dark room, but my eyes hadn’t yet adjusted to my surroundings.

              Another creak sounded, and this time my heart spiked.

              “Get in the closet!” came Heath’s voice from the side of me.

              My body barely jumped to action when he grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bed. Disoriented, I nearly dropped Kayden, and when I realized that, I kept him tightly against my chest as I looked up at Heath.

              He’d never been physically rough with me before, but he was now. He shoved me into the closet and closed it. His footsteps hastily retreated from me, and I stood still, terrified deep in my bones. Kayden let out a cry, and I slowly rocked him as I stared into the darkness.

              I strained to listen to what was happening. I was so scared, I was nearing on the verge of tears. Minutes filled with tension passed by. My limbs ached and my lungs begged for more oxygen. I was too scared to breathe because I thought it made too much noise.

              My hand lingered over the knob. I thought of opening the door over and over again. I tried to rationalize there was nothing going on and Heath had just heard things, but then why hadn’t he come back? I hesitated and deliberated, until finally my hand twisted the knob slowly and pushed it open. It made it barely a few inches when sudden creaks erupted.

              I held my breath again, and then the creaks turned into footsteps, and footsteps turned into a sound that made my blood run cold.

              Grunts and loud yelling. Something heavy landed on the floor and another person’s voice rang out.

              “Get him the fuck down! Hurry, hurry!”

              I put a hand to my mouth and stepped further back in the closet. My heart was going to explode out of my chest, I just knew it.

              “Get the fuck off me!” Heath hollered, and by that point I was itching to get out, but trepidation ran through me, forcing me in one spot as more crashes erupted throughout the apartment.

              Hasty footsteps neared, and using the crack in the closet to peer out, I just managed to make out a figure in a long trench coat sweeping into the room. He was a massive man, his face covered. He was holding a blade in one hand, stopping beside the foot of the bed to peer at it.

              Kayden stirred in my arms again, and I pleaded to the heavens above to keep him quiet. I rocked him some more, but he was frustrated at being held for so long. He kicked up at me and his body jerked. His hands clawed at my neck as I stared helplessly at the man in the bedroom.

              He turned to leave, but Kayden’s mouth opened and he let out an angry grunt. Seconds later, that mouth opened even wider and he cried.

             
Shit, shit, shit!

              I turned my body around, shielding Kayden when the closet door slammed open. A meaty hand grabbed at my arm and jerked me out. I screamed, and the noise startled Kayden even more, and he began to scream with me. I tried to fight the man off with one arm but he was too strong.

              “Nice try, love,” he muttered, forcing me across the room. “Just cooperate and nothing will happen to you and your boy.”

              I was too scared to cooperate. Isn’t that what they said to people going to their deaths anyway? He kept forcing me to move and I kept struggling as I held Kayden to me with all my strength.

              Meanwhile Heath’s shouts grew louder.

              “Please, please,” I begged. “Please, don’t.”

              But the man didn’t listen. He stopped us in front of another large man dressed the same, and he was struggling to keep Heath bound to the ground near the kitchen.

              “I found this woman here!” the man next to me said. “Fuckin’ hiding in the closet, man.”

              “Get rid of her,” hissed the second man.

              “No!” shouted Heath. “Don’t fucking touch her! I’ll do what you want! Just don’t touch her. Don’t!”

              Both of the men laughed and I just wept like a fucking useless person.

              “Stop fucking moving then,” the second man said.

              Heath immediately went limp, all the while he looked up at me in the dark, his eyes filled with so much emotion. He shook his head slightly at me, as if to tell me not to do anything.

              “Keep her there,” the second man continued to demand. “Don’t let her come close!”

              The first man kept his hand wrapped tightly around me, digging his fingers so far into my arm, there’d be bruises by tomorrow.

              “You got yourself in a very unlucky bind, fella,” the first man said as he produced a knife from his pocket. “Was paid to do this. It ain’t personal!”

              “Please,” I shrieked.

              Oh, my God, he was going to hurt him. They were going to make me watch him die!

              “Please!”

              Why wasn’t Heath fighting?! He just stared at me, like it was far more important to keep me safe than to try and fight him.

              “Fucking do something!” I hollered at him. “Don’t let them hurt you! Heath, do –”

              The first man slapped me hard against the face with the back of his hand, and I toppled sideways, landing hard on my hip. My ears rang from the pain, and my world spun for a moment. A scream was heard, but it felt like it was coming from a distance. I put my hand to my ear and looked to where Heath was, feeling disoriented.

              Both men were on top of him, keeping him pinned face first against the floor, and he was fighting hard now. They had to use all their strength to keep him down as he thrashed his body. The veins in his neck protruded, the look of despair and anger flashed through him as the man’s arm went around his neck. With a hand holding the knife, the man cut straight into Heath’s throat, from ear to ear.

              I screamed as it slid across him, and the second it was done, the two men jumped back and took off out of the apartment, leaving the door wide open.

              Kayden was deafening now, and I shook as I clutched him to me. I hurried to Heath’s side just as he rolled over on his back, his hands grabbing at the blood pooling out of him. I set Kayden down and threw my shirt off, rushing to press it against the deep gash that was bleeding him dry. His body jerked beneath me, and his eyes connected with mine. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

              “Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” I repeated over and over again. “Help! Somebody, please! Help!”

              I had to get a phone, but I didn’t want to leave his side. He was bleeding so much. Bleeding everywhere! He opened his mouth again and tried gasping in air, and I don’t remember what I did! I don’t remember what I said! I just screamed for help and cried helplessly.

              I was useless. So fucking
USELESS!
I could do nothing!

              “Allie!” a voice shouted from behind me.

              Marko dropped down beside me, his eyes widened in horror as he dialled a number for help. I cried, begging him to do something. To help Heath somehow!

              He was dying. He was dying.

              And I just wanted him back! I wanted him in my arms! I wanted him to lie to me some more if it meant being with him! I needed him to hold on. I’d take any form of Heath so long as he survived!

              “Please, don’t go,” I begged him, my tears hitting his face. “Please, I love you too much. Please! I need you! I need you, Heath! Please!”

              But the blood just kept on pooling. He held my gaze, and in a few short moments, his eyes dimmed more and more.

              Soon, he wasn’t staring at me anymore.

              He was slipping away.