Saving Face (a young adult romance) (9 page)

“You drove nine hours, and you’re
sorry you were late?  Well gee, I guess I’ll let you slide this time.”  Brent
chuckled a little.  “I’m a little surprised my parents let you in last night. 
What time was it?”

“It was late and I didn’t exactly
ask permission.”  Alyssa raised her eyebrows at him.  “Your dad answered the
door, and let me upstairs.  He could have asked me to leave if he wanted to.  Not
that I would have.”  The last part he seemed to be whispering to himself.

Alyssa took a few moments to digest
that information.  There didn’t seem to be much left to say, so she moved on.  “About
before…”

“It’s a time-out Lyssa.  We don’t
have to do this now.  We’ll get around to it, but this isn’t the time.”

“Thanks.”  She shouldn’t have let
that be the end of it.  But she was a coward, and she wasn’t ready to call an
end to their time-out.  “So tell me about Canada.”

“I’ll do better than that… I
brought my camera back with me.”  Back at Alyssa’s house they plugged his
camera into her big screen TV.   And Alyssa lost herself in the beauty of Old
Montreal, Mount Royal, and The Montmorency Falls.  For hours they clicked
through thousands of photos and she enjoyed his company refusing to acknowledge
the new level of intimacy presumed when he tucked her body against his on the
couch—her back to his chest with his arms circled tightly around her waist.  If
she thought too hard about how closely he was holding her or about how she’d
spent an entire night using his chest instead of her pillow she would probably
have to pull away and restore an appropriate distance.  At the moment, she
needed his closeness more than she needed her next breath.

Eventually the evening came to an
end.  “I’m driving back tomorrow.  I promised my Dad I’d be back for New
Years.”

“You are always home for New
Years.”

“This year I came home early.  So
Dad gets a couple extra days in exchange.”

Alyssa nodded.  That made perfect
sense.  She was out of time.  “So you’re leaving?”

A smile twitched around at the
edges of his mouth.  “I don’t think your dad would be cool about any more sleepovers. 
I’m not sure my just-try-and-stop-me act would fly tonight.”

“Oh.  Of course.  Good night.” 
Alyssa collapsed on the inside.  She was going to have to face another night. 
What had she expected?

Brent tilted his head thoughtfully “’night
Lyssa” and he left.

When Alyssa turned off her light
that night she rolled over in bed preparing to face the endless hours ahead of
her.  Someone knocked on the door.  No, it was the window.  She wasted no time
in letting Brent in.

“Did you forget something?”

Brent shook his head.  “You should
have seen your face downstairs.  I felt like I was kicking a puppy.”  He slipped
off his shoes and shrugged out of his coat before pulling her down onto the bed
with him. 

His big body curled around hers and
she breathed a contented sigh.  Tomorrow she would face the world.  Not
tonight.  “Thanks.”

“Just go to sleep Chere.”  He
kissed her temple, and she closed her eyes. 

His weight against her body and the
tight arm around her waist were just as comforting as they’d been the night
before.  Only now at the edges of that comfort was a little something else. 
And it was a bit difficult to fall asleep.  Not the same difficult as if she’d
been alone, but an exciting kind of difficult that she worked really hard to
ignore.  Because Brent had the right of it earlier that day in his car—now was
not the time.

“Lyssa.  Wake up.”  Brent’s hoarse
whisper and a gentle shaking broke her into awareness.  The early morning sun
was still orange where it streamed into her bedroom.  Brent was crouched next
to the bed, his coat already on.

“What time is it?”

“Not quite six.  I’m leaving.”

“So early?  Come on—I’ll make you
breakfast.”  Alyssa started to swing her legs onto the floor.

“No.  I’m gonna go out the window. 
I don’t want your dad to know I was here.”

“He knew the last time.”

Brent leveled a look at her that
meant she was missing something he considered to be rather obvious.  “He knew
before I came upstairs.  And I used the front door.” 

“Nothing happened.”

He considered her for a moment like
he was weighing his next words.  “It isn’t
respectful
Lyssa—to crawl
through a girl’s window and spend the night with her.”

“Nothing happened!”

Brent clamped a hand over her
mouth.  “I gotta go.  You can call me anytime.”  He released her now that she
wasn’t shouting.  “You should have been the one to call before, not Beth.  You
know that right?”

“I wasn’t sure.”  Alyssa chewed on
her lip.  They weren’t supposed to do this yet.  It wasn’t the right time—his
words!

“Always.  You can always call me.” 
He hugged her.  “We still need to talk; you know that too, right?”  She nodded
against his shoulder.  “Okay.  Good enough.  I’ll be back in a couple of days.”

Then he was gone.

            New Years was over and the last of the Christmas
decorations were away.  Brent of course was home.  His classes would have
resumed by now—Alyssa’s had.  But he didn’t call.  Alyssa figured their
break
was back on.  Beth had been very apologetic about overstepping her bounds
and calling Brent.  Alyssa didn’t mention that she was sure she wouldn’t have
made it through the funeral without him.  Actually she didn’t mention that he’d
come home at all.  This wasn’t because she wanted Beth to feel guilty.  It was
simply because all things
Brent
made her head ache these days.  If he
wanted to have that talk with her he could call, because she couldn’t handle
it.

            A few weeks into the school year Alyssa allowed
Beth to drag her to a party.  “It’s the last weekend before we start cheering
again.  We’ll go to the party—and then you can spend the night with me.”  She’d
pleaded.  Alyssa agreed to meet them there.  Mostly because she figured she
could change her mind later.  So it was sort of a letdown when Tommy’s car
pulled into the drive that evening.  Apparently Beth didn’t think she could be
trusted to show up—perceptive, remember?

            The party should have been fun.  She used to
love going to these things.  A few months ago she would have seen a room full
of her closest friends, but now she just saw a bunch of people trying too
hard.  Beth and Tommy were somewhere dancing.  Alyssa wandered into another
room looking for drinks.  There were usually a few coolers of soft drinks
somewhere.

            “Beer, Lyssa?”  Stupidly hopeful Alyssa spun
around.  It was Pete.  He was standing in the doorway smiling and holding out a
can of beer to her.  As if it was still September, and he still had a reason to
be talking to her.

            “That isn’t a nickname I tolerate from just
anybody.”  She said coldly.

            Pete ignored her demeanor.  “Let’s be friends
again.  Wanna dance?”

            “I don’t think so.”  Alyssa moved to walk past
him.  Pete sidestepped to block her way.

            “Jenn says Carter dropped you, huh?  That’s
okay.  I think you and I should give it another go.  Prom is only a few months
away you know."

            It was four months away—that was twice as long
as their relationship had lasted in the first place.  “Don’t believe everything
Jenn has to say.”  Alyssa tried to push past again.

            Pete blocked her and shoved the beer into her
hands.  “She’s not here tonight—probably on another date with Carter.  She just
can’t stop talking about her
Hillfield man.
”

            Suddenly Alyssa was angry with Brent.  This was
his fault.  In September she would have been perfectly happy to spend the
evening sipping a beer and dancing with the most popular boy is school.  Now
he’d ruined that for her, and was possibly out with Jennifer Pastings.  Alyssa
took the beer.

            Two beers later she and Pete left the dance
floor and found a private room to talk in.  It looked like someone’s home
office.  “How was your holiday?”  He was asking her even as he trapped her
against a wall and leaned in for a kiss.

            “This is a bad idea.”  Alyssa ducked under one
of his arms and put several feet of distance between them.  “I’m drunk.”

            “So am I.”  Pete advanced toward her.  “Don’t
tell me you weren’t hooking up with Carter.  I’ve seen you crawling through his
window.”

            “That’s none of your business!  When did you see
me?”  The room was spinning a little.  Alyssa really hated beer.

            “I drive by your house sometimes.”  Pete’s smile
took on a creepy slant.  He was a more practiced drunk than Alyssa—so when he
lurched towards her she wasn’t able to avoid his grasp

            Taking down a small end table as they fell,
Alyssa and Pete tumbled to the carpet together—her arm twisting awkwardly
between their bodies.  She considered panicking.  He was everywhere and a lot stronger
than her too.  Man did she hate that about him!  She decided against
panicking.  Her knee came up hard between his legs and she scrambled towards
the door. 

“Shit!  Alyssa!”  Pete howled and
curled into a fetal position.  Tommy must have been passing by because he had
the door open before Alyssa’s hand closed around the knob.

“Beth’s looking for you.”  He said
pushing Alyssa out of the doorway behind him.  Tommy took a few steps into the
room and righted the fallen table.  On his way back out the door, the toe of his
heavy boot caught Pete’s rib cage.  “Oops.”  He muttered darkly as he joined
Alyssa and Beth in the hall.

“What happened?”  Beth was
screeching. 

“I don’t know.  Pete tried to kiss
me I guess.”  Alyssa mumbled to her friend.  She was trying to decide if she
wanted to get sick.  No, she didn’t think so.

“We’re leaving.”  Tommy took both
girls’ arms and steered them out the front door.

In the car Alyssa was left alone in
the back seat with her thoughts.  Damn, Brent!  If she’d known their friendship
was ruined anyway, she would have kissed him in the car that night.  What a
waste.  This was clearly his fault.  If they hadn’t been so close in the first
place she wouldn’t have needed a fake boyfriend and she wouldn’t have minded
Pete kissing her tonight.  Now she didn’t have a boyfriend or a best friend. 
Nope, no kissing for Alyssa.

In between her irrational musings
some of the conversation from the front seat filtered back to her.

“She’s supposed to go to my house.”

“Your mom’ll never let her past the
front door.  How much did she drink?  I don’t think I’ve ever seen her finish
even one beer.”

“I didn’t see how many she had. 
She doesn’t drink.  We can’t take her home—her parents will kill her!”

Geez!  Was everyone extra notice-y
lately, or was she that bad of an actor? Why did she even bother?  She could
have avoided that whole embarrassing scene months ago when Brent poured out her
drink in the grass.  Alyssa fumed a little in the back seat.

“Is there a back door?  Maybe we
could sneak her in?”

“I can hear you, you know.”  Alyssa
interrupted them.  Tommy’s eyes focused on her in the rearview mirror for a
moment; he actually did seem surprised that she could hear them.  “Just take me
home.  I’ll be fine.”

When they turned onto her street
Alyssa noticed Brent’s house was dark.  His car was in the drive, but his
mother’s wasn’t.  Maybe Jenn had picked him up?  It was too early for him to be
home from a date already.  “Let me out here.”

Tommy pulled over in front of
Brent’s house.  “It looks dark.”  He sounded skeptical about letting her out.

“There’s a hide-a-key under the
porch swing.”

Tommy nodded resignedly and waited
until she was inside the Carter’s front door before pulling away.

Alyssa didn’t bother with any
lights.  She knew this house as well as her own.  She would just nap in Brent’s
bed until he came back from his date, and by then she’d be sober enough to go
home.  It was a good plan.

“What the!  Alyssa?”  Brent bolted
upright when she crawled onto the bed.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” 
Alyssa mumbled at him.  He wasn’t wearing a shirt.  He’d been fully clothed
both times he’d shared her bed last month.  Actually he’d been sleeping in his
jeans and tee shirt those nights.  That was probably unusual.  Boy he smelled
good.

“Where else would I be?  Are you
okay?”

“Yup.”  Alyssa considered him for a
moment.  “I wish I’d kissed you after the dance.”  Alyssa leaned forward and
kissed him. 

He still tasted like toothpaste;
probably he hadn’t been in bed long.  His large muscled arms reached out and
tugged her the rest of the way into his bed.  She remembered this.  The warmth
of his skin penetrating through her clothes and the feel of his weight pressing
her into the mattress were both familiar and new at the same time.  She felt
dizzy.  Well she’d been feeling a little dizzy since Pete had brought her that
second drink, but this was a better dizzy.  Brent rolled her body more
completely under his.  Alyssa cried out.

“What?”  Brent levered himself off
of her.  “Are you all right… Jesus! What’s wrong with your arm?”

Alyssa looked down to where his
eyes were fixed on her arm between their bodies.  It did look kind of swollen
and red… oh right.  “Someone fell on it.”  She reached up to kiss him again. 

            The sun was brighter than usual, and someone was
pounding on the door.  No.  The pounding was in her head and there was an awful
taste in her mouth.  Why couldn’t she move?  Alyssa shook herself more fully
awake.  Brent’s thick arm was pinned around her waist where she was wearing a
large green tee shirt.  Crap.  This was Brent’s room.  Shifting slightly she
felt a damp spot on the sheets against her side.  Wide eyed, Alyssa’s eyes shot
downward.  Oh.  There was a melted icepack strapped to her arm.  The bendy kind
with Velcro straps.  Last night’s activities rushed back to her.

            The party.  Pete being a jackass.  Getting into
bed with Brent.  Alyssa eased Brent’s arm to one side and slipped out of bed. 
Cold morning air tingled on her bare legs.  What had she done?  Stupid
question, she chided herself as she spied her jeans in a pile at the foot of
the bed.  She knew exactly what she’d done.  But what had she been thinking! 
Any hope she’d had for saving their friendship was out the window now.  The
window!  Alyssa hopped into her pants and crawled out his window.

            Back in her own room she exchanged his green lantern
tee shirt for her flannel pajama top and crawled into her own bed.  Immediately
she got back out of bed and flipped the lock on her window—just in case.  Back
in bed she pulled the covers tightly over her head and willed herself to fall
back asleep.  What was she going to do now?  Everything was so screwed up.  She
hated Pete for bringing her that beer.  Why had she taken it anyway?  Right,
he’d brought up Jenn.

            “Oh man.”  Alyssa moaned out loud when she
realized that Brent had been out on a date with Jenn just before she’d accosted
him in his bed. 

Her stomach turned over.  She
wasn’t sure if it was the hang over or if it was more about Jennifer Pastings. 
Alyssa forced several deep breaths into her lungs.  She remembered thinking his
breath tasted minty, and felt and absurd rush of relief that he’d at least
brushed his teeth between girls.  Her life was ruined.  She’d never be able to
cheer on the same squad as Jennifer this semester.  Although having a
quasi-reasonable reason to quit the squad was a bit of a relief.  That would
definitely be the last party she’d go to with Beth and Tommy.  So there went
her social life. 

Not that it was either Beth or
Tommy’s fault—she’d behaved like an idiot.  But still she could hardly expect
Beth to start skipping parties, and doing what?  Ordering pizzas with her? 
Nope.  Her social life had definitely come to a crashing halt.  It was only
four months until graduation.  She didn’t really need a social life.  Feeling
strangely relieved that her future as a social reject was decided Alyssa
finally drifted off into sleep.

She stayed in bed all day.  Not
that Sundays were all that busy for her these days anyway.  She woke up long
enough to silence her phone when Brent called and again in the afternoon when
her mother shook her awake and asked about the night before.  She seemed pretty
well satisfied with Alyssa’s story that the grocery store sushi bar had messed
with her stomach and that she’d asked Beth to bring her home late in the night. 
If her mother were more observant she might wonder why there was a man’s green
lantern tee shirt lying in the middle of her daughter’s floor, but thank
goodness for small favors. 

In the afternoon her mom knocked on
the door again.  Brent was at the front door, and did Alyssa feel well enough
for visitors?  Nope.  She was much too sick for company.

            “Honey, did you forget to set your alarm? 
You’ll be late.”  Alyssa opened her eyes to see her mother standing in the
bedroom doorway. 

It must be morning again.  Monday. 
School.  Lame.  “I’m too sick for school today mom.”

Her mother gave her a disbelieving
look, but there was sympathy in it too.  “Is there something you want to talk
about sweetheart?”

“I’m just sick mom.  I have a
temperature.”

“
Really
?”  Parents shouldn’t
use sarcasm.  It is a young person’s tool.

“Yes. 
Really
.  It’s one
thousand and four.  I’d probably faint in the middle of English class.”  Alyssa
pulled her blanket up higher and rolled towards the wall.

“Okay, I’ll call the school”

Alyssa waited until she heard two
cars pull out the drive before wandering down to the kitchen and polishing off
three half full take out containers of Chinese food.  She was still wearing her
blue jeans from Saturday night.  Sleeping in blue jeans was not something she
would recommend.  Upstairs, Alyssa striped down for a shower.  For the first
time she actually looked at her arm with sober eyes.  A disgusting splotchy
purple bruise was spread over her entire forearm.  No wonder it had been
feeling tender.  Flexing and rolling it experimentally Alyssa satisfied herself
that it wasn’t broken or seriously injured. 

At least the weather was still
cold.  She could hide her arm under long sleeves until it cleared up.  After
her shower she slathered a chamomile and vitamin k cream on her arm, pulled on
a fresh long sleeved shirt, and climbed back into bed.

On Tuesday morning her fever was
gone, but she felt quite sure her tonsils were swelling up.  Surprisingly her
mother agreed that it would be irresponsible for her to spread potential germs
around school.  In the afternoon Beth brought her homework by the house.  Alyssa
made her leave it on the dresser by the doorway.  To save her from the dreaded
germs, of course. 

“I’m not going to ask you what
happened.  You can tell me when you’re ready.  But you should answer your
phone.  I called all morning.  You’re inbox is full.”

Alyssa flopped her arm over the
side of the bed, and groped around on the floor until her fingers brushed
against the phone—still where she’d left in Sunday morning.  It was dead.  “I
wasn’t ignoring you, it just died and I didn’t realize that’s all.”  Beth
rolled her eyes and left.

Alyssa plugged in her phone.  She
had over 30 missed calls.  Her voicemail box was indeed full.  She pressed
play.

“Lyssa, call me back.”

“Lyssa.  It’s Brent.  Are you
okay?”

“Why wouldn’t you see me?  I’m
sorry about last night.  Please call me back.”

“Stop being weird and call me
back.”

“Beth says you weren’t in school. 
Is your arm okay?  I should have looked at it better.”

“Please, Lyssa!”

“Okay, remember when you were
worried about things being weird.  We passed weird about 18 hours ago.”

“I can’t believe you locked the
window!  I didn’t even know that damn lock worked”

“Whatever.  You are being childish
and melodramatic.  I don’t find it cute anymore’ Lyssa.”

“______”  His last
message was just empty air.  Alyssa could almost hear him sighing and rolling
his eyes.

 Maybe it seemed childish to him,
but this was old territory for him!  Not that she’d been saving herself
exactly.  But it would be nice to actually be able to remember what it had been
like.  She didn’t even know if she liked it or not.  Although judging by the
butterflies she hadn’t been able to shake since November she was pretty sure
she had liked it.  Probably, she liked it a lot.

            On Wednesday her Dad came in instead of her
mother.  “Hey buttercup.”  She hated that nickname.  “How’re you feeling
today?”

            “Bronchitis?”  She tried weakly.

            He shook his head.  “If you like I can stay home
from work today.  We can go see a doctor.”   

            “I don’t think I need antibiotics or anything.”

            “I don’t think so either.  That isn’t exactly
the kind of doctor I was thinking of.”

            Oh-my-god!  He wanted to take her to a shrink. 
Not that there was anything wrong with that.  Actually she knew a couple of
kids who had seen therapists.  Mostly post divorce stuff when they were in
grade school, but still.  “I’m fine Dad.”

            “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it
with me.”

            Eww.  Of course she wasn’t going to talk about
it with her dad!

            “But I know how you felt about him.”  He was
still talking.  How did he know?  Even Alyssa didn’t know how she felt about
Brent.  “We weren’t always very close, but he was my dad you know?  I miss him
very much.”  Pop.  Her dad thought she’d spent three days in bed because of Pop.

            Guilt stampeded through Alyssa’s heart.  She
hadn’t thought of him once since Saturday night.  She was too wrapped up in her
own drama.  Damn.  Brent was right, she was acting childishly.

            “I know you do Dad.  I’m sorry if I’ve been
acting umm… childishly.”  This seemed to catch him off guard.  “I’m going to
school.  I feel much better this morning.”

            When her dad left, Alyssa headed for a shower. 
Her arm was a patchwork of greens and browns today.  That vitamin K cream was
such a crock.  After a much needed rinse and repeat (it was gross how grimy you
could get just from laying in bed) and after choosing a simple blue long sleeve
shirt to go with her jeans and sneakers, Alyssa went to school. 

            At her locker before homeroom Alyssa felt many
eyes on her.  But it was possible that was just her inner drama queen.  They
couldn’t know any better than her dad could have known. 

“Hey Alyssa.”  She turned to find
Pete shifting awkwardly from one foot to another next to her.  His face was
black and blue on one side and he had a thin splint taped to his nose.

            “Hey Pete.”

            “Umm… about your arm—it was an accident.  I mean…
I wouldn’t have hurt you.”

            Alyssa didn’t have any emotions to spare for
being angry with Pete and they’d both been drunk.  “The arm’s fine.  Better
than your nose anyway.  What happened there?”

            Pete’s eyes narrowed a little.  “You didn’t
hear?”

            “Nope, I’ve been sick.”

            “I got sacked.  On Sunday, in a game at the
park.”

            “Sucks.”  Alyssa turned back to her locker.

            “So, friends again?”  Pete was smiling at her. 
Had she ever really found that smile appealing?

            “Nope.”  Alyssa closed her locker door.  “We
never really were Pete.  And just so we’re clear—driving by my house is not
okay.  Actually it’s a little stalker-y”

            “Right.  You got it.”  Pete raised his hands, backed
off and walked away.  That went easier than she’d originally expected it too.

            After school she stayed late to hunt down Miss
Barb the Cheer coach.  Quitting the squad was a little more difficult than
blowing off Pete.  Apparently being chosen as head cheerleader was a big honor
and she had a responsibility to her friends.  Alyssa was suddenly struck by the
thought that the only friend she had on the squad was Beth.  “You should think
about appointing Beth.  She’d do a much better job than I ever did.”  There,
responsibility fulfilled.

            With that taken care of Alyssa felt relieved and
terrified at the same time.  She wouldn’t have any reason to deal with Jenn any
time soon, but she also was looking at a lot of empty afternoons.  At least she
would have time for homework.  Maybe Brent was right, and her grades would
improve with better study habits.  Oops, she hadn’t meant to think about the B
word.

            After a couple of weeks she realized that there
was probably a little something to Brent’s studying theory.  Now that she had
zero social life her grades were picking up.  She’d had a pop quiz in English
class on the
Canterville
Ghost
and she didn’t even break a
sweat.  It was really too bad that colleges didn’t pay much attention to the
end of your senior year.  She bet she could get herself accepted to Penn State
based just on that quiz.  It was almost definitely going to be an A.  Brent
would have been proud of her.  If they were speaking—which they weren’t.  He’d
stopped calling.  Alyssa wouldn’t know what to say if she called him, so she
didn’t.

            At the end of chemistry class one day Beth
jogged to catch up to Alyssa in the hallway.  “Are you still angry with me for
dragging you to that party?  Cause I think Pete got what he deserved.”  Alyssa
smiled a little remembering Tommy’s swift kick to his ribs.

            “I was never mad.  You didn’t force me to drink,
or to dance with my ex-boyfriend.”

            “So why aren’t you talking to me then?”

            “What are you talking about?”

            “Duh!   You haven’t said two words to me since
that day I brought your homework after school.  At first I thought it must have
something to do with Brent.  He seemed concerned you weren’t calling him back…”

            “When did you talk to Brent?”  Alyssa wasn’t
very sure she liked the idea of Brent talking about her to anyone else.

            “He’s just worried about you.  Cut him some
slack.  But what about me?  I miss you.”

            “I miss you too.  But I don’t really miss
cheering.  I am thinking of taking up a new hobby.”

            Beth looked confused.  “What does that have to
do with anything?”

            “Well you’re busy being the new head
cheerleader—congrats by the way—and I am going to be busy with, whatever.  I
haven’t thought of a new hobby yet.”

            “So you don’t want to hang out because we are
going to be doing different extra curriculars?  Didn’t you ever have friends
that weren’t on the squad?”

            “No.  Well—Brent.”

            Beth was shaking her head.  “Okay.  This
afternoon, you, me, and my new spring wardrobe.  Meet me at the mall?”