Saving Ever After (Ever After #4) (8 page)

“So that’s
why you were watching her all night, because she’s family.” She said
skeptically. I didn’t like what her tone implied, but I couldn’t tell if there
was an accusation in her observation or not.

“Katrina, if
you’re trying to say something, just say it, or if you have a question, just
ask me.”

She sighed
wearily, “No, I don’t know what I was saying. I guess I just didn’t like having
to share your attention with that girl tonight, but I know that you’re trying
to look out for her. I think it’s sweet and admirable, even if I don’t get it.”
I took my eyes off the road briefly to turn and look at her. She was looking
back at me with a soft expression. “You’re a good guy, Chris.”

“Thanks,
babe, and you’ve got nothing to worry about. Mia’s not a threat to you or us.
I’m all yours.” I took her hand and brought it to my lips, placing a kiss on
the back of her fingers. Whatever pull I felt that made me want to help Mia,
and do shit like punch that joker back there in the face, I needed to tamp it
down. It didn’t mean anything, but more than that, it couldn’t.

“Did you at
least have a good time tonight before we had to play taxi cab?” I swiftly
changed the subject.

“Yeah, I
did, before all that,” her tone was unconvincing.

“I know you
haven’t spent much time around my friends, but it’s important to me that you’re
comfortable with them.”  

“Your
friends are great. You know I like them.” Again there was something off. Her
tone was too light and almost sounded forced. I partly blamed myself for not
bringing her around them more often. It just seemed that with both our
schedules being so crazy, her traveling all the time for her photography career
and  me with the band, that any time we were both in town, we spent it at her
apartment, just the two of us.

“It’s
important to me that you like them. They are my family. We should have them
over to the apartment some time, or all go out together.”

“I don’t
know. Is some old lady going to dump water all over me every time we hang out
with them? What was up with that earlier?”

I chuckled, “I’m
not sure. I’ve heard Ace’s Grandma Helen is a little odd.” I’d heard plenty of
Grandma Helen stories throughout the years to know that she was more than a
little odd, but everyone seemed to love her. Even if she was nutty. I didn’t
know how to react earlier when she bumped into Katrina and started shaking out
her tiny bottle of water all over her. I could’ve sworn I saw a tiny cross on
the bottle, but that didn’t make sense. It had to have just been part of the
label.

“A little?”
she said skeptically. “At first I thought she had a flask in her hand and that
she was just boozy, but it was only water. I just don’t get it, there’s no way
that was an accident. It was deliberate.”

I agreed. The
laughter I’d caught Mia trying to hide and the way Grandma Helen had slinked
off right back to Mia’s side like they were colluding, made me think Mia could
provide an explanation. I wasn’t about to say that to Katrina. It was already unlikely
she would warm up to Mia any time soon, and after the Elvira comment from Mia,
I was pretty sure it was mutual.

“At least it
wasn’t booze. That would have been worse, right?”

“Just get me
home, baby, so you can get me out of this dress. It’s been a long day.”

“Yes,
ma’am.” I’d been looking forward to seeing her out of that dress since she
stepped out of the bathroom at her apartment with it on. For some reason my
mind went to the way that guy back there had looked at Mia in her dress, and
then I was thinking about him stripping it off of her. My grip tightened on the
steering wheel.

Mia

I washed my
hands and splashed cool water on my face. I tried to focus on my reflection in
the mirror, but everything was becoming distorted and out of focus.

What the
fuck are you doing Mia?

This was not
how the day was supposed to go. It had started out on such a hopeful note. I’d
been excited, and now here I was, almost too drunk to stand, feeling sorry for
myself in some stranger’s bathroom. Why did I do it? Why did I let Leila and
Chris’ pretty girlfriend get to me? Why did I drink an entire bottle of
champagne? Why was I so awful to Chris? Why did I go with Leland?

Oh yeah, now
I remembered, he said I was pretty. He noticed me and all the extra effort I’d
put into my appearance today. He didn’t make me feel so completely and utterly
lacking. When he looked at me, it made me feel special, glamorous even. Was
that so wrong? Something in me cried out,
Yes!
Being here felt
completely wrong.

Damn it.

I should
have just listened to Chris and gone up to my room
, I thought as I shoved
off the counter and stumbled my way out of the bathroom and back through the
unfamiliar house. I hadn’t even wanted to come to this stupid party, but I’d
just been so angry and humiliated. I don’t know what I thought I was proving by
going with them, other than I didn’t need or want Chris’ help. I wasn’t a
child. I could take care of myself.

Obviously I
was doing a grand job of it. I had no idea where I was or what time it was. I
couldn’t find my friends anywhere in this house, and everything was more than a
little fuzzy.

Shit,
I was drunker than I
thought.

I’d let
Leland put a drink in my hand as soon as we walked in the door, even though I tried
to tell him I didn’t really want it. I only took a few sips before discreetly
ditching it and switching to water when he wasn’t paying attention. I thought I
should be sobering up by now, but I felt much worse than I had when we got here.
I didn’t even know how long ago that was, but it didn’t feel right. I just
wanted to get out of here, but first I had to find someone I knew.

Leland had
been clinging to my side since we walked in the door. I was surprised he hadn’t
tried to follow me into the bathroom. For some reason my instincts had urged me
to get away from him. As my thoughts grew fuzzier, I had a hard time recalling
why he’d made me uncomfortable. Now I just felt like I needed to find him or
any of my friends. I’d lost them when I went in search of the bathroom.

I turned the
corner and smacked right into someone. A very sturdy someone. I stumbled
backward, and rough hands reached out to grab me. “Woah, there.”

I knew that
voice

 “Leeelannn.”
I slurred, and disappointment settled in my gut. I should have been relieved
that I’d found him. I wasn’t. “I wasss looking for you,” I slapped a hand on
his chest, unintentionally leaning into him when that threw me off balance. He
just grinned down at me and rested his hands on my hips to steady me.

“Well you
found me.” He tightened his arms around my waist and pulled my body in close to
his. He was so warm, and he smelled good, but I couldn’t quiet the part of me
that did not want his arms around me. Instead I just ignored it, and relaxed
into him. I knew he’d take care of me.

“I need to
go home. I don’t want to be here anymore,” I sighed.

“Then let’s
get you out of here, pretty girl.”

He called me
pretty again.

“Mmhmm,” I
mumbled into his chest, my head feeling lighter and my eyes growing heavier by
the second. He had to half carry me out of the house. I was pretty sure he
stopped to talk to someone, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open. A heaviness had
settled in my head, pushing me deeper toward unconsciousness. I fought it, and
Leland got me to his car, putting me in the back seat. Rather than question why
I was in the back, I just collapsed, my cheek pressed to the seat.

My door
slammed closed. Then two more opened and closed, but wait that wasn’t right. It
was just me and Leland.

The car
rumbled. Warmth cocooned me and quiet music streamed through the speakers,
quickly relaxing my already drowsy brain, and then there was nothing. I didn’t
remember anything else of the car ride back to the dorm, or Leland helping me
out of the car inside. It was only when I was already inside, propped up on the
bed, that I started to come around to the feel of someone’s hands undressing me
in the dark of my room. I groaned and started to bat the hands away, but a soft
voice murmured, “Shh, it’s okay, Mia. It’s me.”

Leland,
my mind registered the
voice. “I don’ feel s’good,” I mumbled, hearing the way my words came out
slurred.

“It’s okay,
I’ve got you.” He continued to pull my dress up over my head. My mind was still
heavy and I felt it trying to pull me back under.

“Why is she
waking up?” I thought I heard another voice, but I knew that couldn’t be right.

There was
more whispering, “I don’t think she drank it all.”

I heard the
words, but they jumbled in my mind. Nothing was registering. It was hard just
to focus on the voice, or voices, let alone understand what they were saying. It
was like everything was a dream, real, but not real, and nothing was making
sense.

Then cool
plastic met my lips and my head was being tipped back. “Drink this, it will
make everything feel better.” A tiny part of my brain protested and said I
shouldn’t be letting him do this, but then cool water trickled down my throat,
and then more.

When the cup
was gone, warm hands slid down my bare arms, and it felt so nice. I sighed and
then leaned back, letting him lower me until my head hit a pillow.  The smell
and feel of my sheets struck me. Something was off. They smelled like a boy. Before
I could process what that meant, my mind quickly started drifting off again,
despite the hands that still traveled over my body. I fought to hold on, to try
and clear my mind so I could figure out why something inside of me felt so
wrong, but the fog in my mind was too thick.

 I felt a
hard, warm body slide into the bed next to me. That wasn’t right, there shouldn’t
be anyone else in my bed. I tried to sit up, but my limbs were so heavy and my
head started spinning. Then large hands pressed me back down onto the mattress
and began caressing up and down my chest and stomach. It felt like there were
so many of them, but I couldn’t focus on a single touch. It was all a blur of
sensation. The touches were so gentle, and I didn’t seem to be able to voice
the protests that were trying to form somewhere in the back of my groggy mind.

“You’re so
beautiful,” a deep voice whispered, before a hot mouth descended on me. For a
brief moment, my entire body felt lit up, and tingled, but then slowly
everything started slipping away again.

No matter
how hard I tried, my mind couldn’t hang on to the present. For what seemed like
forever, but could have been just a few minutes, I kept drifting in and out,
aware that I wasn’t alone each time that I came to, but each time it became
harder and harder to fight my way out of the fog, until there was no more
struggling. No more thought. No more feeling. That was the last time I came to
until morning.

When I did
finally wake fully, I almost wished I hadn’t. My head was pounding so hard and
my stomach rolled. I tried to figure out how I got in this state, but
everything about the night before was muddy. I sucked in a few deep breaths and
pried my eyes open, but still I couldn’t draw up any memories of last night
after arriving at the house party. None. The whole night after that was
missing.

The only
things that I knew for sure were that the bed I was currently in was not my
bed, I was not alone, and my clothes were missing. That was enough for the
beginnings of panic to take over.

Then I
rolled over and saw a naked Leland asleep beside me. A part of me was relieved
that it was him. It would have been so much worse to wake to a stranger. Another
part of me felt nothing but bitter disappointment and my stomach heaved.

My mind tried
to put together the vague bits and pieces that I could recall, but the picture
I was getting, wasn’t a pretty one. The bed smelled of sweat, alcohol and sex
and a tear slipped down my cheek as I registered the slight soreness between my
legs. There was no doubt about what had happened after we got back to Leland’s
room, and although it wasn’t my first time, hot shame coursed through me at my
actions.

Had I thrown
myself at him? Was it his idea or mine to come back to his room? Did he enjoy
it? Did I? The fact that I couldn’t answer any of those questions only
increased the despair I felt crashing over me. I wasn’t a virgin, but I wasn’t
a slut either. I avoided casual and meaningless hook-ups. I’d learned my lesson
at my sweet sixteen.

My mother
had thrown me the party of my dreams, spared no expense. Things weren’t great
between us back then, but they weren’t like they were now. Everyone in my high
school was invited to my Carnaval themed party. Garrett Michaels was a senior
boy I’d been crushing on since the first day I saw him in the halls my freshman
year. He was
that guy,
the one who walked through the high school like
he owned the place, and in a way he did. Girls wanted him, guys either loved
him or hated him, but they all wanted to be him. Teachers couldn’t keep him in
line, but he worked them with his pretty boy, dimpled grin and charm.

 All I’d
wanted was for him to notice me.

Well, he
did.

He showed up
to my party, and his birthday gift consisted of pulling me into one of the
guest bathrooms, taking my virginity right there on the bathroom floor, and
then right as I thought I was getting what I’d wished for, him, he whispered “Happy
birthday” in my ear and then left my party with his on again off again
girlfriend Gigi.

I cried, and
then my mom called me a spoiled, unappreciative brat for not enjoying the party
she’d thrown for me. She never bothered to ask what it was that made me cry on
my birthday. After that awful experience, I’d had one serious boyfriend in high
school right up until he dumped me when things got bad after the wreck. Until last
night, he was the only other guy I’d ever been with.

Another
shameful tear slid down my cheek and I brushed it aside, sitting and pulling
the sheet up to cover my body while I searched the room for my clothes.

The sick,
disgusted feelings swimming around inside me only multiplied when I realized
that the second bed in the room was not empty. Derek lay sleeping in his bed on
the other side of the room. When had he come home last night? Had he seen me in
Leland’s bed? He had to have, which meant he had to know what we’d been up to
last night. I thought I might be sick if I laid there naked another second.

My eyes
frantically began to search out my clothes and I dropped my legs over the side
of the bed, still holding the sheet to my body.

The movement
caused Leland to stir and slowly open his eyes. “Good morning,” he gave me a lazy
smile and then his arms reached out, pulling me back down so that he could roll
my body under him. He tugged the sheet down, revealing my body to him and placed
light kisses along my collarbone and up my neck to my ear. “You look good in my
bed and in my sheets.”

At the
tenderness of his kisses and the sound of his soft voice whispering sweet words
in my ear, some of the panic and despair I’d been feeling moments earlier,
started to dissipate. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought.

He continued
kissing up and down my body, and I tried to shut down my mind, to lose myself
in the feeling. I just couldn’t make myself relax or shut up the voice inside
me that insisted it felt wrong. That it wasn’t what I wanted. That all the
sweet words and kisses in the world couldn’t make Leland the guy I wanted. That
part of me still couldn’t understand why I ever would have gone home with him last
night. I’d never once before, in all my drunken nights, and there were more of
them than I cared to admit, hooked up with a guy.

Until last
night.

I hated that
I couldn’t remember what I’d been thinking, and worried that I’d acted
foolishly because of Chris. I regretted that I’d done that to myself and to
Leland. It was obvious he felt more than I did. Guilt assailed me.

I was all
too relieved when his phone vibrated on the bedside table and he caught a
glimpse of the time. “Shit,” he muttered and sat up quickly. “I didn’t realize
it was so late. I’ve got five minutes to get to my game.” He jumped up from the
bed, leaving me lying there. I watched him hurry through his room, throwing on
a pair of basketball shorts and a red t-shirt with some team name on it.

“Game?” I
asked curiously, leaning up on my elbows.

“I play on
one of the intramural teams here. I thought I set an alarm, but I must not
have. I’m really fucking late. You can let yourself out. I gotta go,” he said
as he hurriedly laced up his shoes and rushed out the door.

“Mornin’
Mia.”