Saving Amy (14 page)

Breathing harshly against my ear, Richard ran his fingers across my back – his touch igniting every nerve in my body. My skin had become so sensitive it was only just not painful to touch. That inexplicable charge I’d felt radiating from him since our first accidental touch was between us and it was stronger than ever. I was being pulled towards him and I was powerless to stop it.

While tenderly kissing my lips he gently pushed me backwards with his bodyweight until I was lying flat on my back with the tufts of the shaggy white rug tickling my bare skin. Then he raised himself slightly, his lips barely leaving mine as he slid lithely from his jeans. I closed my eyes again and tipped my head back. My hips involuntarily began to thrust as I became desperate to feel him on top of me.

The sound of a packet being torn forced my ears to prick up and impossibly my breathing accelerated even further when I realised just how close I was to feeling him inside me. Goosebumps appeared in the wake of his warm lips as he trailed them upwards from my stomach, over my breasts and finally settling on my mouth.

“I’ve wanted to do this to you for so long,” he moaned into my mouth before letting his tongue dance with mine. Then he glided into me excruciating slowly, filling me, teasing me, and making me whimper his name.

His hungry eyes bored into mine, burning brightly with passion and need. This was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before and the feeling was intoxicating. The warmth, the desire, that delicious inexplicable charge spreading through my veins faster than heroin… This was more than just sex – more than just physical. We were bearing our souls through our eyes and it was an exquisite sensation that I couldn’t even begin to understand.

My ears relished the sound of his ragged breathing as he gripped my hips and began pumping faster – deeper. He wanted me and the feeling was so alien. I could feel the doubts, the insecurities and the feeling of worthlessness setting in but I forced myself to push them aside before I ruined this beautiful moment. Instead, I focused on the fact that
I
wanted
him.
I
needed
him. And for now, I had him.

“You feel even better than I imagined you would,” he managed to say through gritted teeth before wrapping his strong, protective arms around my waist and pulling me upwards until I was straddling his legs. “And by Christ have I imagined it.”

“Me too,” I croaked out - because I had… repeatedly. To know that Richard had been imagining us together too felt too amazing to be real.

He held me so close, his fingers kneading into my back. My whole body responded to his touch and the faster he worked his fingers into my back the faster I found myself grinding against him. The pleasure was becoming unbearable – building to the point of almost agony. It was a completely foreign feeling and I didn’t know what the hell was going on inside my molten body but all I could think about was releasing the delicious pressure.

“Ah fuck, Amy. I need this, baby. I need you.”

His skin was so hot - glistening with beads of sweat bubbling on the surface – and his eyes were burning brighter than I’d ever seen before. Our bodies worked together rhythmically, thrusting together harder and faster until we both reached our pinnacle and the universe and all the shit it had ever thrown at me shattered around us.

Wow
. I was pretty sure I had just experienced my very first orgasm and holy hell what an incredible feeling. I could finally see what all the hype was about and it was all down to the beautiful creature gazing up at me.

“That was amazing,” Richard breathed – his words tipping me over the edge and stealing any last traces of strength. I collapsed onto him, pushing him backwards as I inhaled the delicious scent of his overly warm, moist skin. Even his sweat smelled sweet. We lay in complete silence for an immeasurable length of time. Five minutes… ten… an hour perhaps. Time had dissipated into insignificance.

Nestling into his chest, Richard held me.
Held
me. Like actually wrapped his arms around my naked body and pulled me close. Not because I was upset, or hurt, or falling… but because he wanted to. No one had ever wanted to hold me before. I savoured the feeling. The thrum of his heart beneath my ear, the tickle of his chest hair against my cheek, the warmth of his breath settling on my face as he looked down on me…

If I was never going to be held again… I wanted to remember it.

And then they came. The doubts. The insecurities. The feelings of worthlessness… hitting me like a freight truck driving straight into my stomach.

“Why are you doing this?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice dripping with confusion as he straightened himself up a little to gain a better view of my face as I stared nervously up at him.

“I mean why are you being so good to me? There’s so much wrong with me. I’m nothing. I’ve
got
nothing. I just-”

“Baby stop. I won’t listen to you talk like that. Everything you consider to be
wrong
with you are just the results of you trying to be strong for too long – trying to cope
alone
for too long. Don’t you think it’s amazing that after everything you’ve been through – the violence, the fear, the isolation… you can still do
this?
” He motioned his hands over our entangled bodies. “That you can still
feel?
Still trust? Because I sure as hell think it’s a miracle. I think
you’re
a miracle.”

I was rendered speechless – overcome with an emotion I couldn’t place. Silent, leisurely tears began to trickle down my cheeks as I tried to absorb his words – and more importantly
why
he said them.

“Truth is, I’ve never felt like this in all my twenty-eight years. I wouldn’t be able to pinpoint what it was about you, I just no that no matter how I tried to shake you out of my mind… you just wouldn’t leave.”

So he
tried
to forget me. He knew he shouldn’t touch me with a fifty-foot bargepole and he
tried
to stay away.

“Don’t do that, baby,” he said solemnly, interrupting my silent moment of self-pity as he curled loose tendrils of my blonde hair around his fingers.

“Do what?”

“Assume. Don’t ever assume you know what I’m thinking – always
ask
.”

Huh?

“You’re wondering why I tried to stay away and you’re assuming its because you’re more trouble than you’re worth. Am I wrong?”

What the… How did he…

Wordless, and slightly embarrassed, I shook my head.

“Well if you’d asked instead of assumed, you’d know that the only reason I tried to stay away from you was because what I was feeling scared the living shit out of me. I’m used to controlling everything in my life. I control people at work, I control who I spend my time with, what I spend my money on… but I couldn’t control what you were doing to me.

“It started the first night we met. When I saw you lying on the sidewalk I was already dialling for the ambulance when I ran over to you, because that’s what I
should
have done. I’m a doctor – I should have happily packed you off to get patched up by my colleagues and never thought about you again. What I
shouldn’t
have done that night… is look into your eyes.

“You came round and begged me not to call an ambulance. I took zero notice of you until I looked into those rich caramel eyes. I could see the pain in them… the fear. They looked straight into mine and it was like they were pleading for somebody to help you… to
save
you… to love you, Amy. And I guess I was just too weak to walk away.”

Wow.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” I managed to choke out as that bewildering emotion clawed at my throat. “That night, or rather the next morning, you said I was far too young for you. What’s changed?” I asked curiously after a few minutes of contemplative silence. Thought I might as well give this ‘asking’ thing a shot.

“Yeah. Let’s just say my mom helped me out with that one. Something along the lines of ‘the heart isn’t powered by mathematics, darling… it’s powered by chemistry’.”

“Your mom?” I asked disbelievingly. “You’ve told her about me?”

“Of course. She’s my mom,” he answered, shrugging like it was completely insignificant. “What’s wrong?” he asked. Clearly I wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding my sudden anxiety.

“Nothing,” I tried to lie – until that famous eyebrow of his shot up. “I guess I just didn’t think you’d want people to know I was in your life. I don’t want anyone to judge you. Least of all your family.”

“First of all, my mom is the most gracious and accepting person you’re ever likely to meet. She loves you already, if for no other reason than you make me happy. Second, I know we don’t know each other all that well yet – something which I hope to change very soon – but trust me when I say I didn’t
have
a life before you came into it, and I’m certain that is something my mom won’t be able to help filling you in on when you meet her.”

Meet her? Meet his parents? Shit.

“And third, you need to stop thinking like this, Amy. You are a strong and courageous young woman. You’re a survivor. I am both privileged and proud to have met you. I wish you could see what I do when I look at you,” he said with pure admiration saturating his husky voice.

“Sorry,” was all I could think of to say. For what, I wasn’t sure.

“
Sorry?
Damn you know how to frustrate the hell out of me, baby,” he said in mock anger before rolling me onto my back and pinning me down with his body. “You
will
learn to see how magnificent you are. I’ll make sure of it.”

Before I could reply I felt his silky tongue teasing my lips. I gladly parted them and eagerly explored the taste of his mouth. It didn’t make sense to me how he made me feel so wanted… so alive. I didn’t want to dwell on
the if
’s and but’s so for now, I vowed to just enjoy him.

I barely had time to break free for air before he was inside me once again. How was it possible that it felt even better than the last time? It was rougher this time – hungrier. More similar to what I was used to yet so unbelievably different. His eyes never left mine as he worked himself in and out of me like he needed me in order to survive. Every time his lips caressed my name, every time he groaned, every time his breathing grew harsher… made my body feel like it was melting. My limbs ached and the blood in my veins had turned to molten lava – it was the most beautiful kind of discomfort.

“Thank you,” I breathed, my body tingling as I came down from the intense euphoria. My eyes met his, and up shot his eyebrow. It made me smile.

“You’re thanking me for having sex with you?” Richard asked, bemused. I giggled like a little girl.

“No,” I replied, playfully slapping his chest. “For everything… for
helping
me.” He pulled me closer into his chest and I nuzzled his naked body contentedly. “Although the sex was pretty darn amazing. So yes, thank you for that too.” I winked up at him and he laughed his adorable laugh before leaning his head towards mine and kissing my numb lips.

Within seconds he was on top of me once more – smothering every inch of my nakedness with lustful kisses.

“I’ll help you a thousand times over just to keep you by my side.”

It was in that very moment I knew for sure… that I was in love with him.

Julie: Good luck! Not that you’ll need it – they’ll love u!

W
e were in Richard’s car – well
one
of them – travelling up the 1-5 N heading to Medina to meet his parents. I was trying not to think about it too much for fear I might literally crap my pants and ruin Richard’s cream leather interiors. As we drove, I fidgeted with the hem of my black lace
dress which
rested just below my knees with one hand, and twisted strands of my hair which I’d curled specially for the occasion around the other. Every muscle in my belly had wound into painful knots and the closer we became to our destination the queasier I felt.

I was sure I’d read somewhere that Bill Gates lived in Medina and I found myself wondering just how wealthy Richard actually was. We’d talked about anything and everything since officially getting together but money never really came up. Why would it? He knew I had nothing and as far as I was concerned, he gave me everything just by breathing. I knew he’d worked his way up to being a senior physician at such a young age through hard work, determination and the finest tuition America had to offer. But still, how much can an ER physician
actually
make in a year?

Granted he had three ridiculously flashy cars, a humongous apartment and a closet bursting at the hinges with designer clothes… but Bill Gates style wealthy?
Surely not.

Me: Thanks. Nearly
there
now. I am CRAPPING myself! X

I replied to Julie because I wouldn’t have time soon. Though I planned to send her regular updates whenever I nipped to the bathroom. I craved speaking to Julie more than ever now I actually had a life to share with her. Now I had happy thoughts and dare I say it… plans for the future. It was a shame she was so far away now. I missed her.

As Richard pulled off the interchange he flashed me a mischievous wink and I knew that meant we were nearly there. My stomach was in the process of chewing into my heart and
I
was
about three deep breaths away from hurling
all over my best dress. I was meeting his parents. The thing that scared me the most however, was that his parents were meeting
me.