Save Me If You Can (11 page)

Kendall laughed. “Nah, youngin. Just stopped in for the day so I wouldn’t fall behind while I’m traveling. But listen… core strength. Like I said earlier, you have skills, you just need the power to follow through. A strong core means balance, a stronger center of gravity, and more power behind your explosive movements. If you’re weak in that area, your energy is going into keeping you stable, instead of the energy going into your opponent, knocking
their
stability off. You get me?”

“Yeah,” TJ said, nodding. “I do. Thanks, man.”

“No problem. I’m gonna write down some websites for you, where you can get some good information. Check them out, so you can start training a little smarter.”

“Thank you,” TJ repeated, as Kendall pulled a scrap of paper and a pen from his bag to write the information down. “Maybe if I get good, I can get my dad down here to watch a match or something.”

A twinge of guilt rushed through Kendall as he thought about that. If he had his way, Terry King would be long dead before TJ was ready to invite him to a match. “Maybe so,” he said, as he handed TJ the paper. “Doesn’t matter either way. This is your thing, not his. Do it for you.”

“Yeah… you’re right. He’d probably be ready to throw around some money, shut the gym down anyway.”

Kendall shook his head. “Is that what usually happens when he wants you to do something?”

“Pretty much.” TJ sighed. “Yeah. I…” he paused for a second, looking around. “You know I said I’m in school, right? Can’t really afford to miss class more than a few times. Dad wants to send the family to Dubai for a month. I had the flu last year and my professors barely wanted to make an allowance for that. But when my dad comes up here throwing his weight around, all of a sudden they’re setting me up to report to class online, excusing absences, all of that. It’s nuts.”

“Dubai though, huh?” Kendall, asked, keeping his tone even. “That’s pretty cool.”

Of course they were going somewhere he couldn’t be extradited. Of course.

“Yeah, I guess it is. As long as I can find a gym.”

Kendall grinned, then extended his hand. “There you go,” he laughed. “Good luck to you, okay?”

They exchanged short goodbyes, and then TJ headed toward the back of the gym, to the locker room. Kendall waited a few minutes before he followed, and when he was confident that TJ was in the shower, deftly broke into the young man’s locker.

As soon as he had TJ’s cell phone in hand, he pressed the button on his own device that would get Renata in his ear. “Okay Ren. Tell me what to do.”

&

A moan worked its way out of Inez’s mouth, from deep in her diaphragm. Below her, Kendall let out a similar groan as she sank onto him, and he grabbed her by the ass to pull her closer. He lifted his hips as she lowered hers, meeting her halfway with deep, thrusting strokes that snatched her breath away.

“I… thought… I… was… doing… the … work… this… time,” she managed to get out between strokes, as Kendall circled an arm around her waist.

“Changed my mind.”

In one swift motion, Kendall had flipped them over, putting himself on top. With his hands at the backs of her legs, he pushed her knees toward her head, leaving her completely open to him as he buried himself deep.

Inez covered her face – one arm over her eyes, the other over her mouth, trying to muffle the loud “
Ahh, ah, ahhh, ah, ahh,
” that was suddenly the only sound she could make. He was
so
deep, and
so
thick, and so,
so
perfectly rough that she could cry, as soon as that thought crossed her mind, her eyes were wet with tears of absolute bliss.

He pulled her arms away from her face and then covered her mouth with his, in a slow seductive kiss that contradicted the way he was ramming into her. His tongue slid into her mouth in an unhurried sweep, and Inez latched on, sucking until a growl escaped his throat.

Kendall drew away, sitting up on his knees, and pulling her legs with him. He gripped her at the thighs, holding her so that only the top of her back still touched the bed as he slammed into her. Inez gasped when her body began to contract around him, milking him as roaring heat built at her core. She bit down on her lip hard, trying not to scream as he looped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer as his thrusts grew faster, and more and more out of control.

“
Ahhhh-AH!
” she gave up trying to hold it in, crying out in pleasure as Kendall burst through the dam holding back her orgasm. She clawed at his hips as it racked her body, paralyzing her for a few seconds before the tension released and her skin erupted in tingles. It washed over her, over and over as he kept stroking, until he drove into her one last time, and came with a growl.

“
Mmmm
,” Inez moaned again, as Kendall collapsed beside her on the floor. They’d started on the bed, but after several rounds and breaks, they’d conquered the whole room.

“Ditto,” Kendall muttered as he turned onto his side and draped his arm over her, making her grin again. As much as she enjoyed sex with Kendall – and she
loved
sex with him – somehow these moments, the minutes after, when they were temporarily sated, but still hungry for each other’s touch, were the ones she waited for. It was in these moments that she felt like just a regular girl, instead of one who could never hope for the relationship she and Kendall were pretending to have. Because really… that’s all they were doing.

Sure, they were together for now, but what about when this mission was over? What about when she was traveling the word, or got assigned some undercover mission where she would have to be away for years, with no contact? What then?

She saw what that had done to Savi and Harrison. Sure, they’d figured things out, and were able to be together
now
, but who knew how long that would last? And besides that, now that she knew more of the details, that it had been six years ago that they broke apart, Inez suddenly understood what Savi’s sudden shift in demeanor had meant.

Savi had never been exactly bubbly, but she was a vibrant, dynamic woman. Six years ago though, Inez had noticed that Savi became withdrawn, almost robotic for a while. She wasn’t smiling as much, didn’t joke around, and she’d very nearly lost her life during an assignment in Japan, because she wasn’t focused. She hadn’t stayed in the agency very long after that.

Inez didn’t want that to be her story. She liked Ken – liked him a
lot
. But for her own protection, and his, there was only so far she could allow him into her heart. And lying here with him, like this… this was pushing that boundary pretty hard.

But she snuggled closer anyway.

“So you know I met King’s son today, right?” He asked, mumbling the words into the silky strands of her hair.

Inez nodded, then turned her face up toward his. “Yeah. I was there for the debriefing. You put some trackers and stuff on his phone, mined his data, all of that, right?”

“Yeah. But…. I talked to him too. And it was… fucked up, you know? Like I couldn’t stop thinking about if I’d had a son of my own. If we’d been successful when we first started trying, in our early twenties… I’d have a teenager now. Not that much younger than TJ.  And it’s like… I looked in this kid’s eyes, and the stuff he was saying… that boy needs a father figure. And here I am ready to kill him. It’s fucked up.”

Sitting up, Inez stroked Kendall’s chest in soothing circles, then brought her hand up to his chin. “Yes. It is. Sometimes, when we have people who are targets, but innocent… you get a little bit attached, even if you only interact for a few minutes. Cause they aren’t the bad guys, someone else is. They’re just a means to an end. So you feel guilty about using them, and guilty about using the information you got out of them… and guilty about potentially hurting someone they love. It’s tough.”

Inez closed her eyes as Kendall cupped the back of her head, bringing her mouth down to his. She heard what he was saying without him having to say it, that he appreciated that this was something she understood.

As much of a relief as it was for him, it was for her as well. So often, the guilt and honest sorrow was something that got bottled up and swallowed, when you chose a line of work like theirs. So there was some measure of comfort in being able to commiserate like this, even as it lingered in her mind that she’d sworn off other federal agents.
She
wanted to be the most dangerous one in a relationship, and with Kendall, it wouldn’t even be a tie.

“You ever think about leaving this lifestyle?” Kendall asked, with his hand still buried in her hair as they ended the kiss.

Inez lifted an eyebrow. “What?”

“You know…
not
running all over the world, no more dangerous missions, no more looking over your shoulder?”

Inez grinned. “No.”

“Wow,” Kendall chuckled. “That’s pretty damned decisive.”

“I guess it is, huh? But no… I can’t imagine doing anything except this. I mean… what else would I do? Stay at home, cook, and have babies? Could you imagine?”

Inez laughed at that, and expected Ken to laugh along, because the idea of her doing something other than spying and fighting and blowing shit up was one that deserved endless laughter. But… apparently he was thinking something different.

“I could, actually,” he said, stroking her jaw with his thumb. “Not the staying at home part, but the doing of something else…. Something more conducive to settling down… having babies…”

“Whoa!” Inez pulled away as her face curled into a scowl. “Kendall… what are you getting at?”

He shrugged. “I’m not “getting at” anything, I’m saying… I don’t know. Maybe I
am
getting at something.”

“You’re
definitely
getting at something, and I think you should pump your brakes, cariño. Let’s just… enjoy what we’re doing, while it lasts.”

Before the words left her mouth, Inez already knew that was impossible. Hinting at “more” for them was a bell that couldn’t be un-rung, no matter how much she may have wanted it. Kendall’s hand slipped from her hair, and he propped them both behind his head, looking at her.

“Kendall you
have
to understand that this would never work, right? You’re… you want a
family
. Marriage, and kids, and that’s just… I’m not there.”

“Well when
will
you be there?” he asked, and the question made her chest clench.

She shook her head, looking away as she climbed to her feet, then headed for the bathroom. “I… I don’t know. I was 21 years old when I was recruited into the agency. I’m
barely
thirty years old, and most of my adult life has been spent… like this. Combat mode, secrecy… short love affairs, that only lasted the length of a mission. It’s not something I’ve even considered.”

Kendall sat up, following her into the bathroom to drop the condom into the trash. “So you’re going to be a spy forever? Never going to step out and settle down… have a normal life?”

“This
is
my normal life. At least for now. If something changes, I’ll let you know.”

Inez turned away from him as tears sprang to her eyes, then started the shower, being careful to keep her face averted. But
why
was she having an emotional reaction to this? Babies, pets, husbands… that wasn’t her thing. Savi wanted that. Naomi wanted that. Inez wanted to beat people up. The freedom she enjoyed, the risks she took, having a baby or getting married would inevitably be the end to all of that.

But she’d lied when she said she never thought about it.

She definitely thought about it.

She thought about it a
lot
, when other agents disappeared and she assumed they’d gotten themselves killed, only to see them in a desk position at headquarters with pictures of the families they’d built. She wondered if something was wrong with her because she didn’t feel any emptiness in her chest, no deep ache in her heart, wishing she had that.

And then she went and killed a few foreign dignitaries, and the question was forgotten.

So it really wasn’t that, wasn’t about the family thing at all. It was about… Kendall. Gorgeous, sexy, dangerous Kendall, who could have been pulled directly from her personal fantasies. But it was supposed to remain that – a fantasy. Now that they’d been intimate, the fantasy part was gone, leaving behind the reality of honest, emotional feelings for someone who didn’t desire the same life they wanted. That, to Inez, was worth shedding a few tears about.

“Are you coming into the shower?” she asked, fighting for her voice to remain even, not giving away the pain she felt.

There was silence for a long, tense moment, and then finally, Kendall spoke. “No.”

That short, simple word honestly surprised her, and cut through her like a knife. No longer caring if he saw her tears, she turned around, her face pulled into a confused scowl.

“I think I’m gonna head back to my own room. Clean up there… get some sleep. We have an early planning meeting tomorrow,” he explained, even though the truth was clear in his eyes. But really…
I need to get the fuck away from you
wasn’t exactly the type of thing she would have expected him to say out loud.