Save Me: A TAT Novella (5 page)

“No. I was there earlier. Mike and Ron have Noelle-“

He cut her off. “No go home. Take a bath, drink some wine, hold your baby and get some sleep. I’m here for a week at least, I’m not going anywhere. Go.”

It is the first time that I have heard him talk to her without that tone of love in his voice; and it saddens me because of the fierce bond between them.

She knows him better than anyone though and nods, hugging him then me, before looking back at the door. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

He just nods and Carrie bows her head, defeated and leaves the room.

Just us now…

I sit there in a comfortable, but worried silence. My arms are folded over my chest and I make it clear I’ll kick it all night if I gotta, until he is ready to talk or whatever. I do as him, stare out the window knowing what it looks like down there.

“There are fans fucking everywhere, down the block and across the street.” I say. I don’t know why I chose to tell him, but I’m glad I did because an almost smile comes over his face.

“Press conference go okay?” He asks and I nod, but still say yeah. Don’t know why I’m who he wants if we are gonna talk about work…kinda more Cal’s thing. Right now I could care less about work, but Cal, even in the midst of devastation, Cal was built to fight for the dream.

It’s silent again and I’m okay with that. Maybe I’m the easiest one to be around. Carrie and Chad, are both equally tattered over this, Cal would be like an ADHD kid without his meds if he had stuck around…I’m the chill one.

So we sit, looking out the window, listening to the blood pressure cuff as it goes off every twenty minutes. We sit as nurses come in and check the machines and mark their charts, making sure he is okay.

It’s one nurse though, she must have been new because she comes in- in bright pink scrubs with fucking
Hello Kitty
on them. She is smiling like it’s fucking Christmas, and asking us how we are. “My name is Tiffany, I’m just here to pop in and make sure you aren’t hungry or thirsty.” She is looking at us both with big smiles, Noah is ignoring her bright and bubbly stare, and I see sweet Tiffany keep that smile in place before looking at me.

I am holding back the laughter at this sweet pea trying to bring a positive vibe, because she isn’t picking up the fact this room is dark and that darkness isn’t going away anytime soon. She is still staring at me, like those creepy marionettes that smile like serial killers, and it’s getting disturbing. I shift and break the eye contact, and lean forward. “I think he’s okay hun.” I keep my voice down and look to Noah hoping she’ll get the hint he doesn’t want her here.

But Tiffany isn’t catching on and damn it, but this little thing probably hasn’t read the chart to know what he has been through, and that in and out is the ticket for patient Beckett. “Awe, c’mon not even an ice cold apple juice?” She says in that sickly sweet voice that couldn’t be fake if she tried. No, this girl was all sugar and not a speck of spice. Almost felt bad for her.

Almost.

But my boy needed to see there was still some life inside of him and I hoped like fuck this never got back to Cassa. I let the swagger of wealth and attention take over and looked at little
Hello Kitty
Tiff, and winked before licking my lips and stared her down, lust and nasty hard core fucking in my eyes. She went pale and dropped the smile.

Poor girl didn’t know what or who I was and was in no way equipped to handle it. I was about to make it worse. “How about you come over here pretty thing, sit on my lap and tell me more about this ice cold juice.”

I wink again for good measure. Noah heard that tone of voice, the same one I used for the two years I was without Sass, on any groupie willing to suck my dick. He looked shocked out of his mind.

Good, fucker needed to remember there were still good times.

“Um…its, uh, juice.” She says stumbling over her words and it’s taking everything for me to not bust up laughing.

I moan slightly and lean back, dropping my ankle over my knee and adjust myself… lingering between my legs. “Mmmm, I love juice, but I like it hot and wet. Think you could get me some hot, wet juice Tiffany?”

She is such a dark pink; that even her scrubs blend in with her blush, but it’s Noah watching me in complete horrified fascination that I was hoping for. I uncross my leg and stand, but I keep my hands tucked in my pockets and drop the mask of a rockstar and once again I’m a fishermans boy chilling with my broken best friend.

“Sorry my manners suck. We’re good Tiff. Run along little kitty. Just run right along.”

She didn’t hesitate and booked ass out of that room like she was on fire and running to water. Only then did I turn to look at Noah, as if nothing happened.

“What the fuck was that?” He asked, confused as hell and maybe a little pissed thinking of Cassa’s feelings in this. Exactly like I knew he would be. Noah wasn’t gone, he was just out of town and that meant the world to me.

“Oh come on. Her smile and the scent of innocent pussy could not be passed up.” He was still watching me, so I made like I was going to the door. “Unless you want some ‘ ice cold apple juice?’ I say and do so in a feminine high pitch voice and look at him pointedly.

“Asshole.” He says but even though he isn’t smiling I see the spark of laughter in his eyes.

I then let loose my laughter and walk back to the chair, still laughing. “Come on, that was funny and the mood, though I get it, was too fucking depressing. You need to laugh.”

He looks at me, no emotion on his face but that spark is still there in his green eyes. “Well I’m sorry I can’t entertain the thought.” He says and I feel like a dick. I cup my hands over my face and lean back in the chair stretching. I had tried and failed. Then I feel something soft but big, hit me in the head, startling me as I sit up…and see the pillow drop to the floor.

I know that he threw it and I am careful here. Very careful. But I go with instinct.

I bend down and lift the pillow and hold it up and look at him. “Drop this?” I ask and hold my tone.

Noah takes the pillow and drops it on his stomach. “Yep.” He says and chucks it again, harder this time and it hits me on the side of my face. I watch him wince from the pain of the movement, but he still stares me down.

“Watch it.” I say and yank the pillow from him and smack it down at his feet where I know it won’t hurt him.

He produces another pillow from behind his head, wincing again, and this time he chucks the fucker. Hard. I duck the pillow and stand to look at him. “Want me to hit you? Is that it?” I ask grabbing the one at his feet and tossing it at his face knowing the pillow won’t hurt him.

He smiles this time and I have never wanted to hug a guy in my life until that instant, but I play it cool. “Pussy.” He says but doesn’t throw the pillow. “Want me to call Tiffany back? I haven’t ever had a pillow fight, but she most definitely has and could teach you how to make it hurt I bet.” He says it with a wink and laughs, wincing…but he is laughing.

I finally drop the act and start laughing too, until we are both roaring with it and I know it’s some serious pain for him, but he keeps laughing. “Fuck, her face was priceless.” He says through his laughter and I feel actual pain in my cheeks from smiling and I’m glad I fucked with little Tiffany’s head. So fucking glad… because he finally cracked from the laughter.

I knew the minute the laughter turned to sobs, and for the first time in my life I had gone in looking to find emotion and bring it to the surface. I watched as his smile faded and the red face of laughter turned to anguish as tears spilled to his cheeks.

I didn’t want to see him cry, it was the hardest thing I have ever done, and this was twice today I had said that. I watched as he pulled at his hair and groaned at the pain that was all heart and not injury…those wounds would heal. The pain he was fighting right now never would.

I listened to the raw pain in his crying and knew, even though it was impossible to explain how sad it was; that he needed this. If I ever did anything in this life right, it was this moment. Now, all I could do was let him get it out and stay.

He was sitting now and his pain was raw and wild; like a live wire on a rain slick street.

All over the place explosion.

He was hunched over and making almost no sound as his shoulders rolled, wracking with sobs. It happened so suddenly. I jumped when he sat up, ripping the blankets from his body and started roaring in pain.

I stood stoic and still at the end of the bed and let him explode from the inside out. There was no way I could keep it together seeing this. No way. I had tears streaming down my cheeks. My arms were folded across my chest, but I moved one to cover my mouth as my own sobs were breaking free.

“God Damn It!!! He roared and punched the side of the bed as hard as he could, then did it again for good measure.

The door behind me opened and Tiffany, the nurse, came rushing in with Carrie, Chad and Cal on her heels. No way he wasn’t heard on the opposite side of the hospital.

Noah was like a rabid animal once he saw we were no longer alone in the room. And flipped the fuck out.

Insanity was all I had for what I watched happen next. “Get the fuck out. Go!” He roared and took the tray with uneaten food and used his arm to send it across the room toward all of them. Carrie didn’t flinch, but I saw the anger flash in Chad. Cal stepped in front of Tiffany and blocked her with his body as the tray flew into his back, splattering the room in food, juice and water.

Seeing Carrie, calm as a summer’s breeze, just standing there prepared to take it, I went to that side of the room. “You gotta go. Now!” I demand, and my tears are still streaming and I’m demanding them out with a crack in my voice.

Chad looked at me, then behind me where I saw Noah over my shoulder, tearing at his hair again, roaring and cursing God. “
Holy fuck
.” Carrie said under her breath and I knew true fear then, because that girl listened and ran from the room.

Chad was watching Noah in horrified shock and anger when I stood in front of him too. “Get out God damn it. Go after your wife. I got this.” I say and start shoving at him and looking at Cal hoping he has this nightmare under control because once they are out I’m locking that door.

Cal, thank fuck, knew what I needed and more importantly knew what Noah needed and took little Tiffany by her arm and out they went. I locked the door and took my seat at the left and cried as I watched Noah lose his shit.

He cursed God.

He cursed Candey.

He cursed the world for all its shit storm he couldn’t get out from underneath.

He cursed himself.

I sat sobbing, watching the whole thing, forgotten for the time being as I let him deal the only way he could…and I dealt with it alongside him, the only way I could.

*

It felt like hours had passed before he finally calmed, but looking at the room, I knew once he was asleep- we were moving rooms. Food was everywhere, machines knocked over and the bed torn apart. I saw nothing but his body hunched in a ball, battered and bruised in a hospital gown as he sat curled up around his knees, his head twisted to the side. I could see the shaking of his shoulders as he cried, but the rage was gone, now it was sadness.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I saw the text from Cal from a while ago. The insistent buzzing had been driving me crazy as I watched him rage, but now I could read it and focus. I swiped the screen to unlock it and tapped the envelope that was yellow at the top of the screen. And saw a few different messages waiting.

Cal: 

Everything is under control out here. Dr. is a little irate but says as long as they can monitor his vitals they will stay back.