Save Me: a Stepbrother Romance (14 page)

But I didn’t get the chance to rip his throat out like I wanted to.  At that moment, the doorknob turned. 

In a flash, Cal threw me sputtering under the covers.  He launched himself up in one smooth movement, shielding the bed from sight.  I peeked out of a small hole in the blanket, breathless and confused again.  The door opened.

“Dad—” Cal started.

“Shut the fuck up.” 

James’ voice was more venomous than I had ever heard before.  Gone was the personable fifty-year-old with the desperate comb over and powder blue sweater.  The new James had enraged eyes and a sneer on his face.  My stomach turned as I realized what it reminded me of—Nate when he dropped the mask he wore around other people. 

“You think this is a fucking joke?” Cal’s father asked him, taking a menacing step forward.  “I heard you threatened another student at school again.  We both know you’re a fuckup, but I didn’t think you were so fucking stupid to keep testing me like that!”

“Dad, it wasn’t—”

“Shut the fuck up!”  I heard a sickening slap as James’ hand came down hard across Cal’s face.  Cal was sent stumbling back.  He didn’t fight back.  He didn’t even look up.  Something about that made my heart twist hard.

James took another step forward.  Instead of getting out of the way to avoid another blow, the smart thing to do, Cal moved in front of him again.  Shielding me.

James’ red eyes glared at him.  Cal just kept his head down.  Submissive.  Letting it happen instead of fighting.

“You’re just as fucking worthless as your bitch mother,” James growled.  Cal’s hands clenched and unclenched into fists, but he didn’t move.  I put my hand over my mouth as James pulled his head back and spat in Cal’s face.  I wanted to scream at him, but I was paralyzed with fear.  “You all are.  Don’t know why I ever fucking tried to deny that.”

As suddenly as he had stomped in, James turned around.  The door slammed behind him, leaving Cal frozen in the middle of the room.  I was shaking, but I crawled out from under the covers.  James could come back at any moment, but I didn’t care.  The look on Cal’s face was breaking me.

“Cal?” I asked softly.

His head snapped up, like he had forgotten I was there.  His expression softened.  “I’m sorry, Nat,” he breathed, walking to the bed and sitting down next to me.  “I’m so fucking sorry you had to see that.” 

“Does it…”  I touched the pulse that was racing in my throat as I tried to find the right words.  “Does it happen often?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

I knew it was a stupid question, but I had no idea what to say.  I was still in shock.  I had never seen James like that.

Cal sneered.  “Because I deserve it, didn’t you hear?”

“You don’t deserve it.”

Cal nodded shortly.  His thousand yard stare continued out the window into oblivion.  When I touched his arm, he jumped, like for a moment he had been trying to forget he existed.

 “But why does he do it?”  I bit my lip, wondering if I shouldn’t have asked that.  It was a stupid question, and insensitive.  He never asked me why Nate did it.

But he didn’t seem to worried.  He just sighed.

“Because my mom is dead.  And I’m a fuckup.”

“You’re not—”

“Don’t condescend to me.”

I pulled back, afraid I was testing boundaries he didn’t want tested.  But I couldn’t help it.  “So he hits you because you have… problems?”

“And because I’m crazy,” he added bitterly.  “Haven’t you heard?  I’m a fuckup who needs attention, so I
lie
to people about my ‘abusive’ dad.  Of course, James Gatlin could never abuse his son, he’s too perfect, don’t you know?  It must be that his son is a liar.  Must be that his son is a fuckup.”

He swallowed hard.

“And if he can get back at me with his fists, well, all the better for perfect James Gatlin.”

I didn’t know what else to do, so I crawled to him again, putting a hand on his thigh.  After a moment, he leaned into me and ran his hands through my hair.  It was tender.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he breathed.  “And I’m sorry we’re fucking up your family.  I’m sorry he does that.”  He hung his head.  “I’m sorry about everything, Nat.”

“Did he … did he do that to your mother as well?”

Cal’s jaw locked.  “Yes.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“Not your fault,” he said in a small voice. 

He kept his eyes fixed on the floor.  I hated seeing him like this—crushed and small.  I wanted the cocky Cal back, the one who called me Pink and begged me to say filthy things.  More than that, I wanted the pained look to pass out of his eyes.

I wrapped my arms around him. 

He jumped in his seat, his eyes widening as they glanced down at me snuggling into him.    Then he melted in my arms, resting his head on top of mine where I had laid it against his chest. 
Cal Gatlin trusts me
, I realized.  Something shifted inside me, something secret and warm and shuddering in my heart.

“It’s why I … well, stalked you,” he said after a moment.  I snorted into his chest at
stalked
.  The soft rumble of his bitter chuckle rolled against my cheek.  His thumb began massaging small circles into my back.  “The first time I saw that kid yell at you, I knew.  The way you looked, Nat….  It was the same way my mother looked when he yelled at her.  And I knew that I couldn’t leave you alone.  I already failed my mom, Nat.  I couldn’t fail you too.”

“You don’t have to save me.”

“I’m not trying to save you, Nat.”  He kissed the top of my head, burying his face in my soft hair.  “Not if you don’t want to be saved.  But maybe we can save each other.”

“You think?”

“I think we already have.”

He held me in the silence for a few minutes, my arms wrapped around his waist and his arms wrapped around me.  His heartbeat drummed a soft thump against my ear.  It was beautiful.  It sounded like safety.   It sounded like home.

“He hasn’t hit my mom, has he?”

Cal’s arms tightened around me.  “No, Nat.  Not yet.  I won’t let that happen.”

I buried my face in his chest.

“I meant it when I said I love you, Natalie Harlow,” he whispered, pressing his lips against my ear.  “And I fucking swear, right here, right now.  I will protect you.  But only if you allow me to.  I won’t be here if you don’t want me.”

The tears had begun burning in my eyes, but even as choked up as I was, I knew what I had to say.

It rolled off my tongue before I could stop it:

“I will always want you, Cal Gatlin.”

I kissed his neck, hoping it hid my blush.  His arms tightened around me.  He buried his face deeper in my hair.

“You have no idea how good that sounds coming from your lips, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart
. 

Jesus, the boy was going to break me.

“You should go, Nat,” he sighed.  “Before Dad comes back.  It’s late, anyway.  You should get back to your bedroom.”

“No,” I whispered, clutching at Cal’s arm.  He drew his embrace tighter around me.  This was dangerous.  I knew it.  He knew it too.  And yet absolutely nothing could make me leave him at that moment.  I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Cal and I may be together now, I realized, but that didn’t change anything.  He was still my stepbrother, and he was still the bad boy with a bad reputation.  We couldn’t be together.  If anybody found out, I knew it would tear us apart.  Especially if it involved Cal Gatlin, the one everyone else had given up on.

But that didn’t mean I had to.

I was ready to save him.

The next day at school, my world was a blur.  I wasn’t sure what was going on as I floated through my classes, lunch, and after school meetings.  All I could think about was James calling my mother a whore.  All I could remember was the sickening sound of James’ fist against Cal’s cheek.  All I could see was James and Nate and everything I’ve ever hated, their faces blending together until they were one monster that sunk its hooks into my brain and wouldn’t let go.

But there was one candle in the darkness:

Cal is mine. 

And I’m going to save him.

That one thought got me through the rest of the day, even as I constantly relived those horrible moments in Cal’s bedroom.  Did James suspect that I knew something?  Why hadn’t Mom told me he was like this?  And why hadn’t Cal ever told me before?

Because he thought you hated him, idiot.

Shut up, voice in my head.

I hate it when you’re right.

The first I needed to do, I figured as I pulled on my backpack at the end of our afterschool prom committee meeting, was to figure out how to beak to Mom that James was a raging douche who needed to be evicted from the house.  I mean, obviously she had to have known at least a little—he screamed at her. 

But maybe she didn’t understand just how bad it was, I thought as I pushed past the glass front doors of the school.  Maybe I had to show her somehow.  To save both her and Cal.

Maybe—

“Hey, Pink,” a voice growled in my ear as I was locked in a strong embrace and lifted off the ground.  My first instinct was to scream, but he knew me too well.  A hand slapped over my mouth, stifling it before Furst could come running to save me from my murderer.

I bit down.

“Shit!” 

Cal jumped back, grasping his bruised hand.  I rolled my eyes as the drama queen inspected the light pink bite marks.

“I didn’t even bite you that hard.”

“Didn’t your mother teach you not to bite your friends?”

My stomach turned a little as I remembered Mom and the situation with James.  I pushed it out of my mind.  That was a problem for another day.  Specifically, another day where Cal wasn’t getting grabby and assault-y again.

“Is there a reason you molested me?” I asked, placing a hand on my hip and pulling us into the alley behind the school.  The last thing I needed was someone seeing his shenanigans and getting him arrested.  “Or are you just trying to spice up our love life?”

Cal grinned and leaned forward, pressing his body against mine.  “Hm.  Do you think I should try?”

I pushed his grinning face away from mine as he tried to kiss me, unable to stop smiling myself.