Save Me (21 page)

The doorbell rings and interrupts just as Mom decides to regale us with the story about the time I accidentally peed on an electric fence at my uncle's farm.

"Excuse me," Mom says, as she checks her hair and smoothes the imaginary wrinkles in her shirt.

"Who is it?" I ask, but she leaves the table without answering me. Carly looks at me and I shrug my shoulders.

We wait in silence until I hear a man's voice coming from the front hall. I turn in my chair to be able to see. Mom leads a man by the hand through the living room and into the dining room. He's about my height and a little heavier. His silver hair is the same color as Mom's.

"Robert, Carly, this is James," she says smiling. James reaches out and extends his hand to me. I take it, unable to hide the expression on my face.

"Nice to meet you, Robert," James says.

"You, too," I say, never really taking my eyes off my mom who stands there smiling and smiling. "This is Carly," I say, stepping out of the way so she can rise and shake his hand.

"Pleasure," James says, turning his big toothy smile on her.

"Hello," Carly manages.

"Mom, may I see you in the kitchen for a second?" I ask.

"Sure," she says, throwing another big smile at Carly.

I squeeze Carly's shoulder in apology at leaving her alone with this man, but we're just stepping out of earshot.

"Mom," I say as soon as we round the corner. "Who is he?"

She takes a deep breath and says, "He's my fiancé. We're getting married, Robert."

I know I'm shocked and I know I don't hide it well. "
Married
?"

"Yes," I didn't want to tell you like this, but you haven't been around in a while, so it was now or never." She runs her fingers along the pearls that hang around her neck.

"Well, when did you meet him?" I ask.

"About a year ago. We've only been dating for seven months, though."

"
Seven months
? Mom, I've only been spending all my time with Carly for less than a month; I know you've had time to have mentioned him before now."

"I wasn't sure where it was going," she says. "He asked me to marry him last week. I love him, Jack. Surely you can understand what that's like?" Now she turns all those smiles on me.

I run my hands through my hair and stare at my mother. "Yes, I do," I say, just as the sound of Carly's laughter carries in from the dining room. "Is he a good guy, Mom? I mean, is he good enough for you?"

She and I both know I'm asking if he'll be more faithful than my father and more loving.

"Yes, Robert. He's a wonderful man and I love him."

"Well then, I'm happy for you," I say, grabbing her and pulling her into a big hug. She sniffles against my shirt. "Come on, Mom. Don't cry."

She gently wipes a couple of stray tears from underneath her slightly wrinkled eyes. "I'm happy you're not upset with me."

"Why would I be upset?" I ask.

"Because of your dad," she mutters.

"Mom, I know how dad was. I know we never talk about it, but you know I've always known. It's part of why I was the way I was before."

"Listen, Robert," she says, putting a hand on my chest. "That girl in there, she's really special. And she loves you. I know it."

Now it's my turn to smile at her. "Yeah, I think she does."

"I
know
she does. It's a connection from one woman in love to another. The way she looks at you. She's in love with you. Now, you mind that for the rest of whatever you two chose to do. You mind that, Robert." She pats my chest and then touches my face. "And you're in love with her, too," she realizes, her eyes resting on mine and figuring me out like she's always done.

"I am, Mom. And I've told her."

"Good, that was my next question," she says with a grin. "God, I'm just so thankful this Thanksgiving. I have my son and his wonderful new love and an amazing love of my own."

I smile at the woman who gave me life as she talks about the woman who makes me wanna live it. "I'm pretty thankful for all of it myself, Mom."

§

Carly hugs my mom with genuine affection when we finally decide to leave. James has turned out to be a pretty funny guy and my mom can't stop staring at him. I'm still pretty shocked, but I'm getting used to the idea of their upcoming marriage each time he makes her laugh.

"It was lovely to meet you both," Carly says, holding my mom's hand. "I'm so glad you invited me."

Mom pulls her in close and whispers something in Carly's ear and they both giggle like school girls. James looks at me and I know he doesn't get it either.

"You take care of each other," Mom says sternly. "Have a good holiday."

"We will," I say, leaning in and kissing her cheek. I shake James' hand and he gives me a nod.

"Nice to meet you, Robert," he says.

"Call me Jack," I say.

"Alright then, Jack." He claps me on the back and turns his attentions to Carly.

"And you, sweet girl," he says, taking his hand in hers, "have made Jack here a lucky man. It was such a pleasure to meet you." He kisses her hand like I did and I see why Mom thinks he's so swell. Carly turns to me and grins.

"Thank you very much, James," she says. She turns from them and puts her hand in mine. We walk down the concrete path and toward the Escalade.

"Oh my god, I can't believe she's getting married," Carly whispers. "Are you okay about it?"

I open her door for her and shrug my shoulders. "It's not for me to be okay with it, but I am. I think he'll make her happy."

I wave one last time to Mom and James as I climb in the vehicle. Carly waves again and then we leave them behind to get on the highway.

§

“
Can’t you just sit there and relax? Let me surprise you.”

“
But I want to know! I’m horrible at suspense,” Carly sulks.

“
Trust me, you’ll be glad I didn’t tell you when we get there. The first impression is half the experience.”

The road stretches on for miles and we enjoy the drive. Carly yawns loudly and covers her mouth with her hand.

"Take a nap," I say. We've got about another two and a half hours of driving to go. And you're gonna need your rest," I tell her with a grin.

Carly shakes her head. "No sir, I'm gonna play some music." She pulls out the iPod and I groan as she connects it via Bluetooth to the stereo.

"It won't be that bad," she says in a huff. "I've got some stuff on here even an old fogey like yourself should enjoy." She runs her fingers up the touchscreen and chews at her lip.

Mick Jagger comes on, informing us that he can’t get no satisfaction. I look across the vehicle at Carly and pity Mick.

Carly continues to run her fingers up the screen then grins. "Here we go."

Road to Nowhere
by The Talking Heads
starts to play.

We're on a road to nowhere, come on inside. Taking that ride to nowhere, we’ll take that ride. Feeling okay this morning, and you know. We're on a road to paradise. Here we go, here we go.

"We are
not
on a road to nowhere, Carly," I sigh. "I do like that song, though."

She giggles and runs down the song list again. "No, no, no." She narrows her eyes and then says, "Ah-ha."

The music starts in a slow pop beat and Carly turns to me, “You have to listen to the words.
All
the words.”

I nod and give the song all my attention.

It’s not your eyes. It’s not what you say. It’s not your laughter that gives you away. You’re just lonely, you’ve been lonely too long.

All your acting, your thin disguise. All your perfectly delivered lines. They don’t fool me. You’ve been lonely too long.

Let me in the walls, you built around. We can light a match and burn them down. Let me hold your hand and dance ‘round and ‘round the flames. In front of us. Dust to dust.

You’ve held your head up. You fought the fight. You bear the scars; you’ve done your time. Listen to me; you’ve been lonely too long.

Let me in the walls, you built around. We can light a match and burn them down. Let me hold me your hand and dance ‘round and ‘round the flames. In front of us. Dust to dust.

You’re like a mirror, reflecting me. Takes one to know one, so take it from me. You’ve been lonely. You’ve been lonely too long.

We’ve been lonely, we’ve been lonely too long.

The duet is our story. It’s Carly and me in song form. The story of us. Carly looks at me and waits for me to say something.

“
I like that,” I say. “Who is it?”

“
The Civil Wars,” she says. “Their music may not be what you like, but they’re amazing. That song is amazing.”

“
That can be our song,” I say, pulling her hand to my lips and kissing it.

“
That can be our
used to be
song. I think we’ve already burned down a few walls,” she says. I kiss her knuckles and she smiles.

"
Now it's my turn," I say. I dig around the console for the album I want. I open it and insert the CD into the player.

"
Just one song, then you can play whatever else you want, okay?"

She nods and tucks the iPod back in her purse.

Good old Van Morrison comes through, singing the words I'd sing to her if I could carry a tune.

I've been searching a long time, for someone exactly like you. I've been travelling all around the world waiting for you to come through. Someone like you makes it all worthwhile. Someone like you keeps me satisfied. Someone exactly like you.

I've been travellin' a hard road lookin' for someone exactly like you. I've been carryin' my heavy load waiting for the light to come shining through. Someone like you makes it all worthwhile. Someone like you keeps me satisfied. Someone exactly like you.

Carly leans across the console and plants a sweet kiss on my scruffy cheek. "I love you, you know that?"

"I do. And I love you, my sexy little pistol."

Carly finally falls asleep as we make a series of turns, each one taking us deeper into the woods of The Great Smoky Mountains. I'm glad she's sleeping and won't see where we are until we get there. I steal glances to watch her chest rise and fall and for the first time in so long, I'm completely happy with this silence.

I turn off the highway just as the sun starts to set.