Savage Run (29 page)

I wonder if Mrs. Konders’s gift is her way
of telling me that I should continue on as myself. Her words come
back to me: equal rights. “It’s lovely.”

“
What about Nicholas? He’ll
kill me!”

“
He most certainly
will.”

I chuckle a little at her response.

“
But it’s time to start
thinking like a Master. You are now free to make your own rules.
And if Nicholas tries to stop you, he isn’t doing his job
properly.”

Coming from Mai, her comment shouldn’t
surprise me, but it does. “Have you known each other for a long
time?”

“
Oh, for years. I used to
be his martial arts instructor. It’s a long story how I got
involved in that, but in short, after having been assaulted for the
fifth time, and almost losing my life in the process, I decided to
learn something about self defense.”

“
Is that how you came to be
a Savage Run registrar?” I ask.

“
I’m the top Jeet Kun Do
artist in the world, and since I knew President Volkov from
training his son, he offered.”

“
Jeet Kun…?” I
ask.

“
The art of expressing the
human body in combat,” she explains. “The goal is to empty your
mind, to be formless—shapeless—like water, and to have the ability
to adapt to any combat situation.”

“
Was Nicholas good?” I
ask.

“
The best student I ever
had. He mastered the discipline in three years and became the
national champion.”

“
You were a Laborer
before…?”

“
He’s the reason I’ve been
able to reach so far. The pain he gave me drove me. When my husband
and I married, we were both Masters. He lost his freedom to
gambling. As a good wife, I followed him and took upon myself the
status of a Laborer, but he soon became cruel and bitter. I was too
much of a coward to stay.” Mai’s eyes glaze with wetness. “But it
was so long ago, and I have almost been able to forget.”

“
I don’t know if I’ll be
able to forgive my father.”

For just a split second, her face expresses
unimaginable pain and she looks away. “Remember, a strong person
holds on and hangs in there until the bitter end, but a wise person
knows the exact moment to let go. Let it go, Heidi. Set yourself
free.” She faces me and her eyes are set with tears. “Though I
know, some things one can never forgive oneself for.”

I want to ask her what she hasn’t been able
to forgive herself for.

“
Let’s see what’s
happening in the world. TV on.”

A news reporter is talking. “So is it a wise
move of President Volkov to allow the young man to continue to
participate in the Savage Run, only days after he was shot down?
And despite the numerous rumors alleging that Joseph Wood is a
girl?”

“
How did that leak out?”
Mai says.

Johnny. Master Douglas. My father. The
apothecaries I work with. The list is endless.

The reporter continues. “Or does his
decision have to do with the fact that the benefactors suspected
that it was foul play and threatened to withdraw their funds if
President Volkov didn’t let Joseph Wood continue? But in another
story intimately related to this, Master Douglas…” Mai commands the
TV off.

“
No! Wait!” I
yell.

She looks at me, baffled, but commands the
TV back on.

“
Tragically, his
seven-year-old daughter died in a drowning accident the day of the
Savage Run Registration….”

I remember the happy little girl who planted
a kiss so freely on Master Douglas’s cheek. That innocent girl is
gone, and for the first time, I feel something close to empathy for
Master Douglas for having lost someone who brought such joy to his
otherwise angry eyes. I wonder if Master Douglas knew that his
daughter had died before he shot Gemma.

“…
Master Douglas alleges
that Joseph Wood is Heidi Cruise, and that she is an outlaw. He
claims that Heidi kidnapped his housekeeper, Gemma Brooks, when
Gemma was supposed to be caring for his daughter. Master Douglas
has also stated that Heidi tried to have his housekeeper register
for the Savage Run with her. When asked what happened to Gemma
Brooks, he said that she’s been put under strict house
arrest.”

My monitor beeps more
rapidly. “Gemma—alive?” No, it can’t be. He must be lying. To cover
up that he killed her. But why would he do that when it’s his right
to kill any of his Laborers for whatever reason he wants?
However,
if
he is
telling the truth, Master Douglas is probably treating Gemma even
worse than before. Way worse.

Nausea wells up in my stomach. If what he’s
saying is true, Master Douglas wouldn’t have killed us. But now
Gemma might be suffering even more because of what I did—because I
abandoned her.

I hate myself and Gemma probably hates me
too—or she should. I have to find out if she’s alive, and I have to
make it up to her—for all the times she’s been there for me. That
she yelled for me to run. I have to place first, second or third in
Savage Run so I can hire an advocate and buy her freedom. And I
don’t care how much grief Master Douglas will give me; I’m going to
make him sell her to me. I press my hands to my face and moan.

“
Heidi, there’s nothing you
can do for her right now. Focus on what you’re doing and things
will take care of themselves.” She commands the TV off.

“
No, you don’t understand.
He’s a monster, Mai.”

“
I believe it. Trust me,
more than most. But there’s nothing you can do right now. Now is
the time we have to get you ready for the benefit.” Reaching into
the bag on the floor, she lifts out a matching ivory silk bra and
underwear and hands them to me along with the dress. “Go
change.”

My mind still on Gemma, I take the
undergarments and dress and lock myself in the bathroom. Alone, I
let the clothes slip out of my hands and fall to the floor. I sink
down, clasping my head, breathing irregularly. Gemma. I don’t know
for sure that she’s still alive, but why would Master Douglas say
she is? Is he trying to send me a message? Use her against me?
Maybe he blames me for his daughter’s death and he wants revenge. I
shake my head, trying to center myself. I wish Nicholas were here;
he’d help me get through this.

Somehow I find the strength to stand up and
start to undress. Slipping out of the hospital gown, I catch a
glimpse of myself in the mirror. My hair is greasy and messy, my
lips chapped, my eyes red, and my skin blends well with the white
walls. The ugliest girl in the world. Not that I was so beautiful
before, but I used to be somewhat decent-looking when I had my long
hair and rosy cheeks. Now, I’m just emaciated, pale and plain old
homely.

Mai knocks on the door. “You doing okay in
there?”

“
Yeah, just…just a minute.”
I slip on the silky bra. Doing something helps me get my mind off
Gemma. Not much, but just enough to where I can function. The
padding makes it look like I have a full chest. The boys will make
fun of me—especially Arthor. I hope the others made it.

I step into the thin, silky panties, the
fabric tickling my skin as I slide them up over my knees and
thighs. Is this what Masters wear? The barely-there material seems
flimsy compared to my coarse cotton underwear, and it’s almost as
if I’m not wearing anything at all. I slide on the dress, the
fabric heavy and smooth against my body. Opening the door, I ask
Mai to help me zip up the back of my dress.

“
It’s a little big around
the shoulders,” she says. “No worries. Nicholas’s Tailor is
here.”

But something doesn’t feel right. “This is
all wrong. I can’t wear this. This isn’t me.”

“
What were you thinking?”
Mai asks, a curious grin on her face.

“
Will you get the tailor
for me?”

She nods and slips out the door. When Mai
returns with the tailor, he wags his finger at me and smirks.

“
I knew you were a
girl.”

I laugh, remembering the embarrassing
moment. The tailor’s eyes light up when I tell him what I’m looking
for, and while he works to alter the dress to my specifications,
Mai starts on my hair and make-up.

Mai works on me for about an hour and a
half, applying make-up, curling my short hair, shaving my legs and
armpits, and plucking away at my eyebrows. When she’s finished, she
shows me to the mirror, and to my astonishment, the girl looking
back at me has rosy cheeks, red lips, and bright eyes. In short, I
resemble a high-society Master. My hair is short and smooth, and
curls playfully at the ends. My skin carries no blemishes and glows
slightly.

“
Now for the dress,” the
tailor says, handing it to me, and once I’ve changed into it, Mai
takes me to the transporter.

On the ride to Casa Libre, I run my fingers
over my palms, amazed at how I feel no pain; they’re just sensitive
to the touch. Thinking about Gemma has made me determined to give
it all I’ve got both here tonight, and tomorrow, when I begin the
third phase of the obstacle course. I have to survive it, have to
start what I finished and free her myself. Nothing will stop me
this time.

The sharply sloping, triangular building
reaches the clouds, and it glows orange in the night. When our
transporter stops, reporters storm around us, lights flashing like
a lightning storm. I see Nicholas through the window and he’s
wearing a black tuxedo with a gray vest and tie. My heart hammers
in my chest. What will he say? He’s going to be so angry with me;
that’s for sure.

Before opening my door, he sees me through
the glass and pauses, his mouth opening ever so slightly. I hear a
deep man’s voice announce: “Next is Joseph Wood!”

Nicholas opens the door and offers me his
hand. Still no hint of anger. The reporters storm around us and
push their cameras and microphones in my face. Can they tell who I
am? Do they understand that it’s me?

“
Hey look, it’s old Lady
Liberty!” a reporter yells.

“
Where’s Joseph?” I hear
one of them call.

Nicholas pushes past them, hurrying me
inside. We get inside the foyer and it’s like entering a cave in a
lightning storm. Nicholas stops and his eyes scan the room, his
hand pressing against the bare skin on my back.

He takes my hand, pulls me with him up the
curving stairwell, and guides me gently into the walk-in closet,
closing the door behind us. Being this close to him where I can
smell his musky cologne and feel the heat of his body against mine,
my heart starts to race. I step back so I’m pressed up against the
itchy coats, the smell of wool and linen filling my nostrils. “Are
you mad at me?”

“
Is that supposed to
be…?”

“
It’s inspired by the
Statue of Liberty. Your tailor helped me.”

“
Of course he did.” His
nostrils flare as he exhales sharply. “I am extremely disappointed,
but that’s besides the point right now. If someone offered you a
way that you wouldn’t have to go back out into the obstacles, would
you take it?” His bright blue eyes cut into mine and for a moment
I’m speechless.

“
Is that a hypothetical
question?” I ask.

“
No.” His stare is
intimidating.

“
I…I have to have my
freedom.”

He exhales through his nose. “That could be
arranged—later.”

“
How?”

He sighs, his breath tickling my face. “The
Konders.”

“
I…I don’t know. I mean, I
want to live, but part of me wants to see through what I started.
And Gemma…I need to…” He said I could have my freedom ‘later.’ “How
much later?”

“
I don’t know. Months, but
no longer than a few years.” He takes a step closer to me and
presses his fingers to my lips, trailing them down to my chin and
neck.

I don’t understand what he’s doing, so I
look away, afraid he can tell how beside myself his touch makes me
feel. “It’s too long. Gemma will be dead by then or wish she
were.”

He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.
“There’s so much fight in you, Heidi. Sometimes it’s better to just
let it go.”

I feel like all the air in my lungs
deflates. “Let it go? Gemma might be alive. I can’t let go!”

His eyes darken. “I just don’t want to see
you die out there. It was frightening how close you got last
time.”

“
It won’t happen again,” I
say harshly.

“
No—Heidi—it’s just what
happens out there. If my father doesn’t get to you, the obstacles
are made to push you to the limit and eliminate anyone who has a
moment of weakness. One small millisecond of being unfocused will
cost you your life.”

“
I know that, Nicholas.”
What’s his point?

“
I don’t mean to—it’s
just…” His voice trails off.

“
What?” I snap.

He shakes his head. “Will you just answer
the question?”

“
No, I wouldn’t take the
offer.” I try to read his reaction as his eyebrows gather in the
center.

“
Why not?” he
asks.

“
I have to place in the top
three so I can buy Gemma’s freedom. And because for once in my
life, I have control over what happens to me. For once, I can fight
back without being beaten into submission. And I don’t even know
what the Konders want with me. Do they want to own me? Control me?
How can I accept help from someone I don’t know if I can trust?” I
retort.