SAVAGE LOVE (A Back Down Devil MC Romance Novel) (6 page)

Miller moved and Gaige put a hand
to his chest. Miller grabbed Gaige
’
s
hand and twisted it. He spun and put Gaige against the wall.

“
What
the fuck are you doing, Miller?
”
Gaige asked.

“
Just
checking up on her. That
’
s
all.
”

“
Let
me come with you. You shouldn
’
t
be riding alone, brother. None of us should.
”

“
No,
”
Miller said.
“
Jerry doesn
’
t have the balls to take me out.
Or try to again.
”

“
You
’
re really going to cross the
line.
”

Miller nodded.
“
I
’
m
just going to check on her. That
’
s
all.
”

Words that seemed so innocent and
were so far from it. Words that didn
’
t
ignite the war but poured more gasoline on the fire. Words that Miller knew were
bullshit. He wasn
’
t just
going to check on her. He was going to get her back. The way it should have
always been.

six.

Beck cut a new tooth and was
enjoying a good night
’
s
sleep. More than once Ella told herself to just take a nap, too. To sleep a
little. Rest her body. Let her mind relax. But she couldn't do that. Not with
the papers on the counter downstairs. She knew the second Jerry saw them, he
’
d flip his lid. She thought
about leaving but knew that would make it worse. He
’
d put an APB on her. Christ. The entire town of Frelen would be looking for her, for Beck.

Then Ella wondered if Jerry could
use some favors to make it seem like she kidnapped their child. That
’
s all Ella needed right now. To
end up in jail and to have Beck in the care of Jerry.

Biting her nails, Ella rushed down
the stairs and to the kitchen. She grabbed the envelope and took it upstairs.
She had the chance of having everything served to Jerry directly. But she didn
’
t want to embarrass him. In her
mind she had a speech that Jerry needed to hear. Then she
’
d leave. He
’
d be devastated but it was all
for the better. Kind of like one of those moments on a talk show when someone
gets to speak their mind and they feel stronger after doing so.

That
’
s
what Ella would do.

She lifted the cushion on the
rocking chair and slid the folder under there. Beck was still sleeping and
hopefully would sleep all night for once. The poor little guy definitely needed
it.

Ella collapsed to the floor and
hugged her knees. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she tried to figure it out.
Giving Jerry divorce papers wasn
’
t
going to change a thing. Even if he signed the damn things, what would Ella do
next? Where would she go? She couldn
’
t
stay in Frelen, that was for sure. But there was nowhere else to go.

You always have a home with me,
darling. Always.

Ella squeezed her eyes shut. She
shook her head. That was a long time ago. That was merely a fantasy. Her way of
striking back at her mother for being such a shit mother. For her father not
taking care of himself and getting himself killed in a drunken car accident.
That
’
s all
he
had
been. And that
’
s all
he
would
remain. Not even a name at this point, just a figure in her imagination that
stirred up memories.

When Ella looked at the crib again
she had a vision of
him
standing there. His big, strong hands, lifting
the babe. Holding the baby tight, soothing the baby the way a real man would.
Gently rocking back and forth, the chains hanging off his jeans jangling
together. The smell of freedom, musk, man, and sweat. The tattoos, earrings,
the wild look in his eyes.

Ella pulled herself to her feet and
forced herself out of the room. She felt like slapping herself. What kind of
person was she? Fantasizing about someone else taking care of her child? That
was as bad as Jerry out fucking other women, wasn
’
t
it?

“
No,
”
Ella whispered.

Jerry was worse. He was the worst.
Even the night of their wedding
…

Ella heard a knocking sound from
downstairs. Her heart instantly began to race.

They had a doorbell. Why didn
’
t it ring?

Slowly, she walked down the stairs.
She looked around and grabbed the fireplace poker. The fireplace that had never
been turned on, not once. Like most of the houses in the development, it was
added just for show. Everything was for damn show.

The knocking came again.

“
Who
is it?
”
Ella called out.

“
Can
you open up?
”
a voice said.

Ella had her hand at the doorknob.
She pulled away.
“
Tell me
your name.
”

“
Ella,
please. Darling.
”

Darling?

Darling
…

Ella unlocked the door and tore it
open. It was a bad mistake to do. Anyone could have been waiting there to
attack her. Christ, for all she knew with Jerry getting involved with other MC
’
s, she could have been a target.

Yeah, she was a target alright, or
at least her heart was.

And it just got struck.

Ella felt her jaw hit the ground
when she saw
him
standing there at the door.

Taller than ever, his shoulders a
mile wide, rounded like wet cut mountains, his rippling arms filling out the
short sleeves of a t-shirt. The same ink on his arms, but nothing past his
elbows. The chains on his black jeans. The black leather cut with the Back Down
Devil name and logo on the breast. Years had aged
him
well, even more to
perfection as it cut
him
up and turned
him
from a gorgeous young
man to a sexy and built real man.

“
Miller,
”
Ella whispered.

How long has it been since I
’
ve said that name?

Color flooded Ella
’
s cheeks, as she was sure one of
the last times she whispered it like that, he was deep inside her body.

“
What
…”
Ella lost her breath. She
swallowed hard and gently touched her chest.
“
If
you
’
re looking for
…”

“
No,
”
Miller said.
“
I
’
m
here to see you. To check on you.
”

“
Check
on me?
”

Miller grinned. The bad boy sly
grin was still hidden behind the toughness of man.
“
Yes, darling. To check on you.
”

“
We
haven
’
t
…
I haven
’
t
…”

“
It
doesn
’
t matter. I know
things are
…”
Miller shook
his head.
“
Do you know
anything that
’
s going on?
”

Ella stared. Jerry had told her if
anyone asked her questions, the best thing was to deny it all. Play stupid.
Keep the housewife act going strong.

But this was Miller. Her first true
love. The man who took her innocence and gave her a wild spark that was still
hidden somewhere inside her.

“
He
’
s not here,
”
Ella whispered.

“
But
you are,
”
Miller said. He
stepped forward.
“
I know
you know. That
’
s okay. He
’
s doing stuff that
…”

“
I
don
’
t want to cause any
trouble.
”

“
You
’
re not.
”

“
The
President of a motorcycle club is standing at my door. My hus
…
Jerry isn
’
t home. This is middle class
living, Miller. You can
’
t
be seen like this.
”

“
Then
invite me in.
”

A bold statement.

Ella knew she should have shut the
door and apologized. Instead, she backed up and let Miller into her house - and
right back into her life.

As he breezed by her, she felt her
nose tingling a little, wanting to smell him. That roughness. That wild sense
of freedom. That feeling of no fear of anything. Christ, even right now,
stepping into the house, that took serious guts to do.

Miller did it.

Ella gently shut the door. She
pointed to the kitchen.
“
Talk
in there? The baby is sleeping.
”

She watched Miller
’
s face sink a little. He turned
his head and looked at the steps. Never before did Ella think of Miller as a
father or a man who would want a family. He was always an outlaw. The kind of
guy to fight because he felt like it. The kind of guy to take off and ride
because the road called to him. But tonight there was pain in his eyes after
hearing the words
the baby
.

In the kitchen, Ella kept on one
side of the island, Miller on the other.

“
You
want a drink?
”
she asked.

“
No.
Thanks. I don
’
t want
anything from this house. From his house.
”

Not even me?

Ella looked away.

“
I
just need to know you
’
re
doing okay here. What Jerry has become
…”

“
That
’
s my problem,
”
Ella said.
“
Not yours, Miller.
”

“
Maybe
somewhere inside me it is my problem,
”
Miller said.
“
Okay?
”

“
Look
at me. I
’
m right here.
Right where I
’
m supposed to
be.
”

“
Supposed
to be? Is that where you want to be?
”

Ella felt a little anger rise up.
Her feelings of love and hate for Miller had been tangled up for years, usually
left in the dark and stranded because they didn
’
t
matter.

“
What
do you really want?
”
Ella
asked.
“
You just show up
here? Are you looking for him? Because he won
’
t
be home for hours yet. Probably out fucking someone else.
”

Miller made fists.
“
That
’
s exactly why I
’
m
here. That wasn
’
t supposed
to happen to you. Ever.
”

“
Well,
it did. He
’
s lost it
…”

Miller started to inch around the
island. For a second, Ella put her hands out, stopping anything from happening.

“
No,
”
she said.
“
Fuck no, Miller. You
’
re not doing this to me.
”

“
Doing
what?
”

“
This.
Whatever this is right now. You have something to ask me about Jerry, then do
it. You want to know about the other bikers that were here meeting him? Fine. I
’
ll tell you. He got mad at me
for seeing what I did. Then we argued. He
…”

Miller was way too close now.

Ella closed her mouth.

She slowly reached back and gripped
the edges of the counter. She stared up at the rugged yet beautiful biker and
felt herself shivering from deep within her core. A shiver she couldn
’
t remember having in a really
long time.

Slowly, Miller reached forward with
one hand and touched her face. It threw a spark that turned into a flame inside
Ella
’
s heart.

“
What
about you?
”
Miller
whispered.
“
That
’
s what I
’
m worried about right now. You.
”

“
I
already told you. I
’
m right
where I
’
m supposed to be.
”

“
I
don
’
t believe that for a
second.
”

“
You
…
you never showed up,
”
Ella blurted out.

No. Why would you say that? What
are you trying to do?

“
What?
”

“
That
night. You never showed up. He did. And now
…”

“
Jesus
Christ,
”
Miller said.
“
That
’
s what you think? I did
…”
Miller shook his head.
“
It doesn
’
t
matter. You
’
re married. You
have a kid. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. And if you
’
re ever not okay, darling, you
call me. No matter what.
”

They were then in silence.

Miller took his hand from Ella
’
s face. Her left hand shot up
and grabbed his hand, putting it back to her cheek. It made her feel alive. It
made her feel warm. It made her feel safe.

“
He
’
s coming after you, isn
’
t he?
”
she whispered.

“
A
long time coming,
”
Miller
said softly.
“
That
’
s all. The same power struggle
as before.
”

“
Someone
’
s going to end up dead.
”

“
People
have already died, darling. I buried a table member. One of my closest
brothers.
”

“
Because
of Jerry?
”

Miller nodded.
“
I just want you to be safe in
all of this.
”

Ella
’
s
lips quivered.
“
You
’
re going to try and take him
out.
”

“
That
’
s a hard thing to admit to when
I
’
m staring at his wife.
”