Savage Betrayal: Savage, Book 2 (18 page)

“Actually, I think
you
need to understand.” She paused, her hand on the door handle. “All I wanted was an uncomplicated little quickie to distract me from a pretty shitastic day. I wanted it from a guy I trusted and whom I was attracted to.”

And there she went laying it all out on the table. She trusted him and was attracted to him—that much sent a sizzle of triumph through him.

But she wasn’t after permanent. It should’ve been a relief, but disappointment stung slightly. Which made absolutely no sense. Confused, he tried mentally to shrug it off. He couldn’t claim her as his mate—he couldn’t claim anyone. So why should he be disappointed that she only wanted sex?

“You were looking like you might be that guy,” she continued and shook her head. “Well, right up until you started treating me like your flavor of the week.”

He gave a small laugh, but wasn’t the least bit amused. “Are you trying to inflate my ego, or kill it?”

“I don’t think it can get any bigger.” She scowled and opened the door. “But, don’t worry, I’ll figure out another way to burn off this frustration.”

The jealousy that rose inside him was instantaneous and violent. The wolf inside him went primal, possessive, and acted on instinct alone.

Before Grace had even slid one leg out the door of his truck, he’d moved across the seat to stop her.

With an arm wrapped around her waist to restrain her, he lowered his head to nuzzle the back of her neck.

“No need to rush off.”

“Oh, there’s every need.” Her voice, husky with anger and desire, washed over him and upped his need for her.

“You can’t honestly think I’ll let you go out to find another man tonight, sugar?” Wanting to prove just how easily he could have her, he slid his hand upward and into the blouse she hadn’t buttoned. “If you need help burning off energy, then I’ll be the one to do it.”

“The hell you will.” She tried to tug away, but he tightened the arm around her waist. “
Darrius.
”

His intention had been to force her to stay and listen. But now, with his hand in her shirt and the soft warmth of her breast against his knuckles, he couldn’t resist. He cupped her breast again, testing the weight and fullness of it in his palm, before capturing the nipple that rose to greet his fingers.

She let out a ragged breath. “You don’t play fair. At all.”

“And I’ll never claim to.” His lips brushed the back of her neck. Someday, some man would bite that sexy neck, and claim her as a mate. It wouldn’t be him though.

The realization made his heart pinch and he drew in a ragged breath.

“I need you to listen to me.”

“Fine. I’m listening, but do you have to touch me at the same time?”

“I wish I could stop.” He moved his hand to tease the other breast.

Unwanted triumph swept through him as a shiver ran through her body and she couldn’t seem to stifle her moan.

He wanted this woman, probably more than he could remember wanting a woman, which shouldn’t have been possible. And the idea of hurting her made everything inside of him cringe. Larson was right. Grace was still vulnerable at the moment, even if she denied it.

So why don’t you let her go inside? Leave her alone?
His conscience barraged him, but letting her go would be like denying himself oxygen right now.

He settled for honesty, she deserved that much. As much as he was loath to stop touching her, he released the sweet little breast cradled in his hand and turned her on his lap so he could look in her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have pulled that shit with you, Grace. Shouldn’t have used that
line
—because you’re right, it was one.”

She tensed and he sensed the immediate change in her, the animosity radiating in waves now—the unhappiness in her eyes.

“You should’ve known me better.”

“I did. I do. Shit.” He released her enough to rub the back of his neck. “Maybe it is a line, but it’s also the truth. I would hate myself if I hurt you. And I know by us getting involved that’s always a risk.”

She paused, seemed to reflect on his words. “What you did hurt me more than any risk of us getting involved.”

“I realize that now, and I’m sorry.” He pushed back a strand of hair that had fallen across her cheek. “I completely own up to being an asshole. Give me another chance.”

Her gaze slid to his mouth and she swallowed visibly. “I have a feeling you wouldn’t let me walk away, even if I wanted to.”

Impossible. He couldn’t let her walk away from whatever they had right now. “I’d do everything in my power to stop you.”

“I understand why you need to clear the air with women. Why you’re up front that it’s a no-strings-attached thing.”

Her words, maybe unintended, came at him like unpulled punches. Hitting hard and deep, and leaving him strangely hollow and weary. Darrius Hilliard, the constant flirt. The player who all the girls wanted. It was the reputation he’d earned himself. It was half truth, half illusion.

“And no strings is exactly what I’m looking for right now.” She seemed to falter, search for words. “My job, my sister, those are the priorities in my life right now. I’m too young, too busy, for serious right now.”

The fact that she was so young was another reason he’d been hesitant to get involved with her. What if she got emotionally attached? What if she’d wanted more?

“When things started heating up between us, I knew exactly what that meant. It’d be casual. You’re Darrius Hilliard—you don’t
do
serious.”

More punches that were well earned. Usually he just rolled with them and claimed the philanderer status that had been cast on him so long ago. It almost was his identity now, when initially he’d embraced it to deal with the pain.

If she only knew…

“But one day, it’s
going
to happen.” Her smile wavered slightly as she lifted her gaze to look at him again. In her eyes now, a glimmer of sadness. “You’ll think she’s just another lover, but you’ll realize she’s your mate. And you’ll be completely blindsided, because all these years you’ve been emotionally pushing women away.”

“Grace.” The truth was coming now, there was no stopping it. It rode in on a tidal wave of emotion, driven by her gently chastising words.

“Look, maybe you don’t want to hear it, but it’s true. You’re not exempt from falling in love, Darrius.”

“Grace, listen to me. I can’t have you as my mate—or any other woman for that matter.” So few people knew the truth, and many had forgotten.

Irritation flashed in her eyes and she shook her head. “Seriously? It means that much to you? To maintain this playboy lifestyle and—”

“Grace, I’m already mated.”

It was almost like having her head slammed into the ground all over again, only without the crushing pain. At least to her skull.

Grace blinked, stunned and disorientated. She tried to latch on to his words—make sense of what he’d said. But they swirled around in her mind like a verbal tornado, too fast to grasp or comprehend.

Her gaze was frozen on the curve of his lips, which were now compressed into a tight line. But she kept hearing that phrase over and over again.

I’m already mated.

It couldn’t be possible. She would’ve known, wouldn’t she have? People would have told her.

“But just a few minutes ago we almost… You made me…” She trailed off numbly, unable to even speak the words.

Darrius was mated. She’d almost made love to a mated man? Had let him bring her to orgasm, when he already had a mate?

“I’m going to be sick.” She fumbled for the door handle, desperate to get away from him. To breathe in the cool air that would contrast against her flushed skin.

The iron-like arm around her waist halted her, dragging her back against her will.

“Grace, wait.”

“Let me go.” She slapped at his arm. Tried to pry his fingers off her one by one.

But when it was clear he wouldn’t release her, she went limp against him, unable to stop the small furious sob.

Though his body front was pressed flush against her back, and the arm around her waist was dangerously close to her breasts, he made no move to touch her further.

His words were a soft tickle on her ear as he murmured, “Calm down a second, and I’ll explain.”

“Explain? I hate you so much right now,” she seethed. “You’ve never been monogamous in the time I’ve known you. I almost let you
fuck me
in the front seat of your truck. You’re staying with me. Protecting me. So unless your mate is dead, there’s not a lot hell of a lot you can say to explain.”

He stilled, seemed to hesitate. “Well, you got it. She’s dead.”

The fight left her with the swiftness of a water balloon hitting pavement. She let the heaviness of his words sink in.

How had she not known about this? Did anyone at the agency know?

Grace wiggled in his grasp, needing to see him to have the rest of this conversation. He eased his grip on her and didn’t protest as she turned to face him.

Even in the darkness of the truck, her gaze sought his. She looked for anguish there, or at least a hint of pain. There was a tinge of sadness, but the emotion that shone the most was weariness.

“How come you’ve never said anything? I had no idea.”

“Most people don’t. It was a long time ago.” He sighed. “We were teenagers when we mated, both just eighteen.”

Layers. There were so many layers to this man, and she was only now realizing it. The world saw Darrius Hilliard as a charming, funny playboy who only went skin deep. And apparently he’d been happy to let people make their assumptions, her being one of them. But now the truth was coming out as each layer was pulled back.

“How long were you mated?”

“Only a few months. ”

Her heart pinched as she imagined how strong his grief must’ve been—how much it likely still affected him, even if he hid it now.

His mate had died young. For humans, it would’ve meant Darrius getting on with his life and maybe finding another person to love. But he wasn’t human, and claiming a mate went so much deeper than love.

Shifters, when they mated, mated for life. You were connected to that person on a soul-deep level until you met again in the afterlife.

And they’d only had a few together…

She caught his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m so sorry.”

His lips twisted, almost bitterly and he shook his head. “It was years ago—water under the bridge now. I’ve accepted that my future isn’t like everyone else’s. That’s why when I get involved with a woman, I give them the same warning.”

“Understandable.” And it was. Explaining a dead mate every time he met another woman was probably far too painful. Was he trying to exorcise the pain—forget the gaping emptiness of a mateless future?

His choices and the women he’d bedded weren’t for her to judge, but she almost understood them better now.

“You’re not the only shifter to have lost a mate,” she said hesitantly, tracing her finger over the palm of his hand. “Has there ever been a case of a shifter re-mating with someone new?”

Darrius gave a slight nod. “A handful, but it’s almost an anomaly, really, and usually there ends up being some reason why the first mating never took. But it gave me hope. For fifteen years, I’ve dated, I’ve been with women, but it’s never happened.”

“What’s never happened?” She hesitated. “How does it work?”

His gaze fell to hers. Disbelief in his gaze. “You don’t know?”

“I mean I have an idea, I know the crux of it. Male bites female on the neck and they are mated, but I don’t really understand what drives them to do it.” She chewed on her bottom lip, hoping she didn’t sound like a complete idiot.

Again there was disbelief in his gaze, as if he couldn’t quiet believe how naïve she was. And dammit, some things she was naïve about. But she’d never had many friends, and her aunt and uncle hadn’t discussed the details of mating—really ever. She’d had to figure it out from locker room gossip during high school. Put the pieces together.

“When a male chooses his mate, he’s driven by a need that is instinctive. Consuming. Most of the time, but not always, it happens during sex.”

“See that’s what I don’t understand. Wouldn’t the male get all worked up and bite any chick he’s screwing?”

His laugh was soft and low, the sexy sound that sent shivers through her.

“You’re a razor-sharp agent, but adorably inexperienced with mating.”

“Oh will you just shut up.” Her cheeks flushed, and she punched him lightly in the stomach. He caught her fist and lifted it to his mouth, brushing her knuckles with his lips.

Her stomach fluttered and she bit back a sigh. “You realize I’m not a virgin.”

“No, I didn’t think you were.” His smile died and something blazed fiercely in his eyes. Something dark, angry, before it was extinguished as he drew in a slow breath. “I’m obviously not either. And every time I slept with a woman who wasn’t my mate, I’d hope that maybe this time would be different. That maybe my canines would drop and I’d be compelled to mate again.”