Santa Viking (21 page)

“And he resembles the back end of a hound dog more than Elvis,” Hank remarked with a hoot of laughter at his own joke.

“That was unkind, Hank,” Annie chastised, “just because he’s a little
 . . .
hairy.”

They all made snorting sounds of ridicule.

Frankie Wilks had a bushy beard and mustache and a huge mop of frizzy hair. Masses of hair covered his forearms and even peeked out at the neck of his milk company uniform. Hirsute would be an understatement.

“You could go out with guys if you wanted to,” Chet offered softly. “You don’t have to give up your life for us or the farm. It was different when we were younger, but—”

“Uh-oh!” Roy said.

Everyone stopped talking and stiffened to attention.

A man was stomping down the sidewalk toward them, having emerged from the hotel entrance. He wore a conservative black business suit, so finely cut it must be custom-made, with a snow white shirt and a dark striped tie, spit-shined wing-tip shoes and a black cashmere overcoat that probably cost as much as a new barn roof.

He was a taller, leaner, younger version of Richard Gere, with the same short-clipped dark hair. He would have been heart-stopping handsome if it weren’t for the frown lines that seemed to be etched permanently about his flaming eyes and tight-set mouth. How could a man so young be so disagreeable in appearance?

Despite his demeanor, Annie felt a strange heat rush through her, just gazing at him. It was embarrassment, of course. What woman enjoyed looking like a tart in front of a gorgeous man?

Unfortunately, Annie suspected that the flame in his eyes was directed toward them. And she had a pretty good idea who he was, too. Clayton Jessup III, the new owner of The Blue Suede Suites and the vacant lot where they had set up their Nativity scene.

The kindly couple that managed the hotel, David and Marion Bloom, had given them permission for the Nativity scene when Annie had asked several days ago. “After all, the lot has been vacant for more than thirty years,” Marion had remarked. “It’s about time someone made use of it.”

But when Annie and Chet had stopped in the hotel a short time ago, where David and Marion had also been nice enough to let them use an anteroom for changing Jason, they soon realized that everyone at the hotel was in an uproar. The new owner had arrived, unannounced, and he intended to raze the site and erect a strip shopping mall. As if Memphis needed another mall! Didn’t the man recognize the sentimental value of the hotel and this lot? No, she guessed a man like him wouldn’t. Money would be his bottom line.

Just before Mr. Jessup got to them, some tourists paused and listened with “oohs” and “aaahs” of appreciation, dropping more paper money and change into their kettle. The boys stood rock still, but Annie saw the gleam of interest in their eyes at one petite blond woman in gray wool slacks and a cardigan over a peach colored turtleneck that stood staring at them for a long time. There was a hopeless sag to her shoulders until Hank winked at her, and she burst out with a little laugh.

Drawing the sides of his overcoat back, and planting his hands on slim hips, Mr. Jessup glared at them, his lips curling with disdain on getting a close-up view of their attire. At least he had the courtesy to wait till the tourists passed by before snarling, “What the hell are you doing on my property?”

The baby’s eyes shot open, and he began to whimper at the harsh voice.

“We have permission,” Chet said, his voice as frosty as Mr. Jessup’s while he leaned over and soothed his child. “Hush, now. Back to sleep, son,” he crooned, rocking the manger slightly.

Annie tried to explain. “Mr. and Mrs. Bloom told us it would be all right. We’ll only be here for a few days, and—”

He put up a hand to halt her words. “You won’t be here for even a few more hours.” He peered down at his watch
 . . .
probably one of those Rolex things, equal in value to the mortgage on their farm
 . . .
and gritted out, “You have exactly fifteen minutes to vacate these premises, or I’ll have the police evict you forcibly. So, Ms. Fallon, stop fluttering those ridiculous eyelashes at me.”

He knows our surname. Not a good sign!
“I was not fluttering.”

“Hey, it’s not necessary to yell at our sister,” Roy yelled. He, Hank, Jerry Lee and Johnny were coming up behind Annie to form a protective flank. Chet had taken Jason out of the manger and was holding him to his shoulder, as if Mr. Jessup might do the infant bodily harm.

“Furthermore, those animals better not have done any damage,” Mr. Jessup continued and proceeded to walk toward the shed where Wayne was hee-hawing and the sheep were bleating, as if sensing some disaster in progress.

“No! Don’t!” they all shouted in warning.

Too late.

Mr. Jessup slipped on a pile of sheep dung. Righting himself, he noticed Wayne’s back leg shoot out. To avoid the kick, he spun on his ankle. Annie could almost hear the tendons tearing as his ankle twisted. His expensive shoes, now soiled, went out from under him, and the man went down hard on his back, with his head hitting a small rock with an ominous crack.

“I’m going to sue your eyelashes off,” Mr. Jessup said on a moan, just before he passed out.

A boy like me, a girl like you
 . . .
uh-oh!

He was drunk
 . . .
as a skunk.

Well, not actually drunk. More like under the influence of pain killers. But the effect was the same. Three sheets to a Memphis wind.

“Oh, I wish I was
not
in the land of Dixie,” Mr. Jessup belted out. He’d been singing nonstop for the past five minutes.

Annie and the cute emergency room intern exchanged a look.

Annie tried to get him to lie down on the table. “Mr. Jessup, you really should settle—”

“Call me Clay.” He flashed her a lopsided grin, accompanied by the most amazing, utterly adorable dimples. Then he resumed his rendition of Dixie with a stanza ending, “
 . . .
strange
folks there are not forgotten.”

Geez!

“I wish I’d bought that tee shirt I saw at the airport.” Mr. Jessup
 . . .
rather, Clay
 . . .
stopped singing for a moment to inject that seemingly irrelevant thought. “Its logo said, ‘Elvis Is Dead, And I’m Not Feelin’ So Good Myself.’ Ha, ha, ha!”

“He’s having a rather
 . . .
um, strange allergic reaction. Or perhaps I just gave him a little too much medication,” the young doctor mumbled, casting a sheepish glance toward the other busy cubicles to see if any of his colleagues had overheard.

“No kidding, Doctor McDreamy!” Annie remarked. Clay was now leading an orchestra in his own version of “Flight of the Bumble Bee.” She didn’t think Rimsky-Korsakov had actual bzzz-ing sounds in his original opera containing that music.

“You have big hair,” he observed to Annie then, cocking his head this way and that to get just the right angle in studying its huge contours. “Does it hurt?”

“No.”

“Does your boyfriend like it?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

He nodded his head, as if that was a given. “A man couldn’t get close enough to kiss you. Or other things,” he noted, jiggling his eyebrows at her.

The man was going to hate himself tomorrow if he remembered any of this.

Annie already hated herself
 . . .
because, for some reason, the word “kiss” coming from his lips—
Who knew they would be so full and sensual when not pressed together into a thin line of disapproval?
—prompted all kinds of erotic images to flicker in her underused libido. She pressed a palm to her forehead. “Boy, is it hot in here!”

“I’ll second that. I’m burning up.” Clay twisted his head from side to side, massaging the nape of his neck with one hand. Then, before she could protest, he loosened the string tie at the back of his shoulders and let his hospital gown slide to the floor. He wore nothing but a pair of boring white boxer shorts.

Boring, hell! He is sexy as sin.

Annie’s mouth gaped open, and her temperature shot up another notch or two at all that skin. And muscle. And dark silky hair.

Funny how hair on Frankie Wilks seemed repulsive. But with this man, she had to practically hold her hand back for fear she’d run her fingertips through his chest hairs. Or forearm hairs. Or
 . . .
Lordy, Lordy
 . . .
thigh hairs.

How could a man so stodgy and mean be so primitively attractive? She’d gotten to know just how stodgy and mean he could be on the ride over here. And how did a man who presumably worked at a desk all day long maintain such a flat, muscle-planed stomach?

Startled, she clicked her jaw shut.

“It’s not warm in here,” the doctor pointed out, intruding into her thoughts.
Thank God!
“Perhaps you both have a fever. But no, I checked your temperature, Mr. Jessup. It’s normal.”

Normal? There
’
s nothing normal about the steam heat rising in this room.

Clay glared at Annie accusingly. Was he going to blame her for a fever, too? To her horror, he broke out with the husky, intimate lyrics, “You give me fever.” He was staring at her the whole time.

Oh, mercy!
Who would have thought he even knew an Elvis lyric? It had probably seeped into his unconscious over the years through some sort of Muzak osmosis.

“The medication will wear off in a couple of hours,” the doctor was saying. “After that, we’ll switch to Tylenol with Codeine. Considering his reaction, I would suggest you give him only half a tablet.”

“Me? Me?”
Hey, I
’
ve got to get back to the Nativity scene. Without my supervision, who knows what my brothers are doing? Probably a hip hop version of
“
Away In a Manger.
”
Not that my brothers know what hip hop is, aside from music videos. I wouldn
’
t put it past Roy and Hank to be flirting with passersby, too.

The doctor finished wrapping Clay’s sprained ankle tightly and took on what he’d probably practiced in front of a mirror as a serious medical demeanor. “The goose egg on the back of your head is just a hard knock, but you should be watched closely for the next twenty-four hours. I don’t like the way you reacted to Darvon. Do you have family nearby to keep an eye on you?”

“I have no family,” Clay declared woefully.

He
’
s not married.
Annie did a mental high five, though why, she couldn’t imagine. Her heart would have gone out to the man at that poignant comment if it weren’t for the fact he was back to glowering at her. She tried to understand why he directed all his hostility toward her. No doubt it stemmed from the fact that he’d been
really
angry about the accident and blamed it all on her family. “You and your crazy brothers are going to pay,” he’d informed her repeatedly on the drive to the hospital, during the long wait in the emergency room, throughout the examination, right up until the pain killers had performed their miraculous transformation. Good thing she’d talked her brothers into manning the Nativity scene, minus a Blessed Virgin, till she returned. They would have belted Clay for his surliness!

She was hoping he’d meant the threat figuratively. She was hoping it had only been the pain speaking. She was hoping God listened to the prayers of Blessed Mother impersonators.

They couldn’t afford a new barn roof
and
a law suit.

“Well, then, perhaps we should admit you,” the doctor told him. “At least overnight
 . . .
for observation.”

“I’m going back to my hotel room,” Clay argued, shimmying forward to get off the examining table and stand. In the process, his boxers rode high, giving Annie an eyeful, from the side, of a tight buttock.

And her temperature cranked up another notch.

Who knew! Who could have guessed?

“Ouch,” he groaned as his feet hit the floor. He staggered woozily and braced himself against the wall.

“You could stay at the farm with us for a few days,” Annie surprised herself by offering. The fever that had overcome her on first viewing this infuriating tyrant must have gone to her brain. “Aunt Liza can help care for you . . . ” while we’re in the city doing our Nativity scene. “It’ll be more comfortable than a hotel room . . . ” and you wouldn’t see us on your property.

“That’s a good idea,” the doctor offered, obviously anxious to end this case and move on to the next cubicle.

“Okie dokie,” Clay slurred out, the time-release medication apparently kicking in again. He was leaning against the wall, bemusedly rubbing his fingertips across his lips, as if they felt numb. Then he idly scratched his stomach
 . . .
his
flat
stomach
 . . .
in an utterly male gesture his lordliness probably never indulged in back at the manor house.

Her heart practically stopped as the significance of his quick agreement sunk in.
Criminey! I
’
m bringing Donald Trump home with me. What possessed me to make such an offer? My brothers will kill me. But, no. It really is a good idea. Get him on home turf where we can talk down his anger. Perhaps convince him to let us continue our Nativity scene the rest of the week. Take advantage of his weakened state. Heck, we might even persuade him to change his plans about razing the hotel.

On the other hand, Elvis might be alive and living in the refrigerator at Pizza Hut.

“A farm? I’ve never been on a real farm before.” A grin tugged at his frowning lips, and he winked at her. “Eeii, eeii, oh, Daisy Mae.”

Holy Cow! The grin, combined with the sexy wink, kicked up the heat in her already feverish body another notch. Even worse, the man must have a sense of humor buried under all that starch. It just wasn’t fair. Annie didn’t stand a chance.

“Uh-oh.” His brow creased with sudden worry. “Do you have outhouses? I don’t think I want to live on a farm if I have to use an outhouse.”

Live? Who said anything about
“
live
”
? We
’
re talking visit here. A day
 . . .
two at the most.
But Annie couldn’t help but smile at his silly concern.

“Hey, you’re not so bad looking when you smile.” Clay cocked his head to one side, studying her.

“Thanks a bunch, your smoothness,” she retorted. “And, no, we don’t have outhouses.”

“Do you have cows and horses and chickens and stuff?” he asked with a boyish enthusiasm he probably hadn’t exhibited in twenty-five years
 . . .
if ever.

“Yep. Even a goat.”

“Oh, boy!” he said.

As the implications of her impetuous offer hit Annie
 . . .
Mr. GQ Wall Street on their humble farm
 . . .
she echoed his sentiment,
Oh, boy!

“Did you ever make love in a hayloft?” he asked bluntly.

“No!” She lifted her chin indignantly, appalled that he would even ask her such an intimate question. Despite her indignation, though, unwelcome images flickered into Annie’s brain, and her fever flared into a full-blown inferno.

“Neither have I,” Clay noted, as he stared her straight in the eye and let loose with the slowest, sexiest grin she’d seen since Elvis died.

Who knew Scrooge could be so hot!

At the sign, “Sweet Hollow Farm,” Annie swerved the pickup truck off the highway and onto the washboard-rough dirt lane that meandered for a quarter mile up to the house.

Tears filled her eyes on viewing her property, as they often did when she’d been away, even if only for a few hours. She loved this land
 . . .
the smell of its rich soil, the feel of the breeze coming off the Mississippi River, the taste of its wholesome bounty. It had been a real struggle these past ten years, but she prided herself on not having sold off even one parcel from the 120-acre family legacy.

“Oh, darn!” she muttered when she hit one of the many potholes. The eight-year-old vehicle, with its virtually nonexistent springs, went up in the air and down hard.

She worriedly contemplated her sleeping passenger, who groaned then rubbed the back of his aching head. His eyelids drifted open slowly, and Annie could see the disorientation hazing their deep blue depths. As his brain slowly cleared, he sat straighter and glanced to the pasture on the right where sixty milk cows, bearing the traditional black and white markings of the Holstein breed, grazed contentedly, along with an equal number of heifers and a half dozen new calves.

“Holy hell!” Clay muttered. “Cows!”

Geez! You
’
d think they didn
’
t have dairy herds in New Jersey.

Slowly, his head turned forward, taking in the clapboard farmhouse up ahead, which must be a stark contrast to his own Princeton home. She knew she was correct in her assessment when he murmured, “The Waltons! I’ve landed in John Boy Central.”

His slow survey continued, now to the left, where he flinched visibly on seeing her
 . . .
still adorned in all her Priscilla/Madonna garishness.

His forehead furrowing with confusion, he loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his dress shirt. Then, his fingers fluttered in an unconscious sweep down his body, hesitating for the briefest second over his groin.